Chapter four
The Electric Mayhem Bus pulled up in front of the Muppet Boarding house that evening, full of noisy Muppets, most of who were laughing. The doors opened and the Muppets started barreling out, hurrying into the house. Kermit and Maggie were among the last to get off the bus. Miss Piggy, who had been behind them, brushed past them and walked ahead quickly. Maggie stopped and turned to her brother, who was holding her suitcase.
“Hey Mit?” Maggie said. “She’s not gonna stay mad at you, is she?”
Kermit was watching Miss Piggy. He shrugged. “It’ll blow over,” he said. “It always does.”
“Yeah, we’d have problems if it didn’t,” Clifford said from behind them.
“It does, and we still have problems,” Kermit said.
Maggie was looking around. “So... this is where you live, huh Mit?”
“Yup, this is where I live,” Kermit said. He looked his sister in the eyes. “What do you think?”
Maggie kept looking around. “Well,” she said. “It’s not exactly the swamp.”
Kermit nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s a lot different.”
Something caught her attention. “Hey Mit,” she said with a devious twinkle in her eye. “Race ya to that tree?”
Kermit looked at the tree, at her, back at the tree. He smiled, turned to Clifford, and held out the suitcase. “Hold this,” he said.
“Whoa, wait a second,” Clifford said as he took the suitcase. “What happened to the truce?”
Kermit and Maggie spoke in unison. “Doesn’t apply to races,” they both said. They looked at each other, surprised.
Clifford looked back and forth between them. “Oh... Kay,” he said.
The two frogs stood side by side, preparing to charge.
“Ready Mags?” Kermit said.
“Yup,” she said. “On your mark...”
“Get set...” he said.
“GO!” They both shouted as they bolted forward.
The few Muppets who were still outside turned around to watch as Maggie took the lead. As she ran, she shouted, “I’M STILL FASTER!”
“NO YOU’RE NOT!” He called as he ran past her.
Surprised, she hurried to catch up. They both ran full speed ahead, side-by-side for a moment, and touched the tree at the same time. They fell to the ground laughing, happy to ignore the visit’s purpose a little longer. The Muppets who had been watching either laughed or shook their heads and went inside.
“Alright,” Kermit said as he sat up. “Dinner should be soon. Let’s go inside.” He stood and walked towards Clifford to retrieve the suitcase.
Maggie lay in the grass for a moment before rolling to her feet. She watched as Kermit took the suitcase from Clifford. Clifford said something, and Kermit scrunched up his face. Clifford laughed, Kermit shook his head, and they walked back towards her.
“Mit?” she said when they got close enough. “Why do you spend so much time inside?”
“I don’t,” Kermit said. “You’ll see.” He put a hand on her back and guided her towards the house. Clifford let them walk ahead a few steps, watching Maggie from behind. Then he was quickly at her side. Kermit noticed. He guided his sister so that he switched places with her, and glared at Clifford. Clifford put his hands partway up, as if to say he was innocent. All the while, Maggie looked straight ahead, trying not to laugh. Once they were on the porch, Kermit took a couple steps ahead and opened the door.
“Ladies first,” he said as he ushered his sister in. Maggie shook her head as she walked inside. Clifford tried to walk a little closer to Maggie on the way through the door. Kermit cut in front of him, and gave him a warning look over his shoulder.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Maggie hesitantly poked at the food on her plate, remembering all the strange noises that had come from the kitchen. “Are you sure this is edible?” she asked.
“Well,” Scooter said, “Is it talking?”
“No...” Maggie said.
“Is it blowing up?” Fozzie asked.
“No...”
“Does it look like it could have come off of anyone or anything sitting at this table?” Rowlf asked.
Maggie looked up and down the long table. “Not really.”
Scooter, Fozzie, and Rowlf looked at each other. “It’s edible,” they said, and they went back to eating.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After dinner, Kermit and Maggie went outside and sat on the porch swing.
“That was the
strangest dinner I’ve ever had,” Maggie said.
Kermit shrugged. “It was one of the more normal ones for me.”
“You’re telling me it’s
normal for someone to try to eat the table?” Maggie asked skeptically.
“Sure,” Kermit said. “If that someone is Animal.”
Maggie shook her head. “Mit, you’ve gotta be crazy,” she said. Kermit just shrugged.
Robin came outside. “Hi Uncle Kermit! Hi Aunt Maggie!”
“Hi Robin,” Kermit said.
“Hey,” Maggie said.
Robin climbed onto the swing and sat in between them.
Kermit looked at his sister. “How’s Jimmy?” he asked.
Robin looked up anxiously at his aunt. Maggie smiled at the small frog. “He’s good,” she said. Robin relaxed a little, but he continued to look at his aunt.
“And Leaper?” Kermit asked.
“She’s good too,” Maggie said. “She’s been busy, but I think she’s happy that way.” Kermit nodded. Robin leaned back in the porch swing, glad to hear that his parents were doing well. Then he sat up again.
“What about Bobby, and Kim, and Susie, and Toby, and Louis, and Jen, and Nadine, and Paul, and Missy, and Howard, and Julie, and John, and Phillip, and Rebecca, and Cara, and Tyler, and Brandy, and Will, and Ellie, and Sara, and Jason, and Elizabeth, and-“
“They’re fine, Robin,” Maggie laughed. “All your brothers and sisters are happy and healthy and all of them say hello, except for Howard who was still asleep when I left.”
Robin sat back in the porch swing, content.
Rowlf poked his head out the door and looked around. “Is this area restricted to frogs tonight?” he joked, “Or are other species still welcome?”
Kermit laughed. “Come on out,” he said.
Rowlf, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Camilla, Pepe, and Scooter all came outside. Miss Piggy sat down next to Kermit. Gonzo and Camilla sat on the porch, and the others perched themselves on the railing.
Pepe had noticed a space between Maggie and the swing’s armrest just big enough for him to fit. He went to sit there, but Maggie moved her hand and blocked the space. So he went to sit on the armrest, but she put her arm there, and moved over just enough to the right that he couldn’t try the seat again. He sighed, and sat on the railing with the others. Kermit gave him a warning glance, and then looked around at the general crowd.
“Let me guess,” he said. “Sam is lecturing the band again?”
“Yeah,” Gonzo said. “And Rizzo’s arguing with the Chef over refrigerator rights again.”
Kermit turned and looked at the door, concerned.
“Hilda’s taking care of that,” Rowlf said. Kermit relaxed a little.
“So what did you think of the show, Maggie?” Scooter asked.
“Was I funny?” Fozzie asked.
“Did you like the song I played?” Rowlf asked.
“Do jou think I’m sexy, okay?” Pepe asked.
“Do you like stunts?” Gonzo asked. “I’ve got this great idea for a new stunt...”
“How long will vous be staying, Maggie?” Miss Piggy asked.
“Slow down!” Maggie laughed. “Please, one at a time, I can’t think that fast! Mit, are they
always this bad?”
Kermit smiled at his sister. “You should see them when they’re upset.”
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