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T*K*O - "Beach Bums"

Discussion in 'Friends and Family' started by D'Snowth, Jan 26, 2007.

  1. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Our story opens today in the beautiful beachside city of Destin, Florida, where inside a room in the Pelican Beach Resort a greasy wimpy looking character was sitting at a desk on the phone.

    GREASY GUY: (On the phone) Yes, that’s right, Utica, New York, the reservations are for an “MrsPepper and Company”. Thank you. (Hangs up) Finally, it’s payback time!

    T*K*O
    (Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)​

    Episode #: 47
    Title: “Beach Bums”
    Original Airdate: 26-Jan-2007
    Written By: Saul Turteltaub, Bernie Orenstein, and D’Snowth
    Created By: MrsPepper
    Guest stars: DanDanStrawberry as Greasy Guy, heralde as Clerk

    Back in the hotel room...

    GREASY GUY: It’s about time I get even with that dame once and for all!

    Several miles away at the 3976th 1/2 T*K*O, Vic knocked on MrsPepper’s office door.

    MRSPEPPER: (Calling from inside her office) What is it?

    VIC ROMANO: You got a telegram MrsPepper!

    MRSPEPPER: (Calling from inside her office) Oh? Okay, come on in!

    So Vic walked into MrsPepper’s office and handed MrsPepper the telegram.

    MRSPEPPER: Hmm, I wonder what this is... (Reads over the telegram) Oh my goody ness!

    VIC ROMANO: What is it MrsPepper?

    MRSPEPPER: Call everyone into the conference room Vic, we’re going to Florida!

    So moments later in the conference room, everyone was sitting excitedly at the table when MrsPepper quieted everyone down.

    MRSPEPPER: Now, now, now, let’s not get too excited people; this is just a two-day and one night thing: we’re only going to be there to participate in the T*K*O convention so we won’t have to much free-time, BUT for the free-time we do have, I’d at least like everyone to stay in one location as possible!

    THEPRAWNCRACKER: Can we hang out at the beach?

    MRSPEPPER: Well, I...

    BEAUREGARD: Can we eat at one of those expensive seafood restaurants?

    MRSPEPPER: I don’t...

    VIC ROMANO: Can we buy souvenirs?

    MRSPEPPER: Now hold on everybody, we’ll figure all that out when we get there! Now the best thing for you all to do is pack your bags so we can head over to the airport, our tickets just arrived and we ship out in an hour.

    About an hour later, everyone was boarding the plane; Beauregard was in line to use the airplane restroom, TogetherAgain was helping Vibs with her seatbelt, Vic Romano and ThePrawnCracker were fighting over the window seat, while MrsPepper was listening to the in-flight movie. Meanwhile back in room 47 of the Pelican Beach Resort...

    GREASY GUY: (On the phone) They have? Great, great, I look forward to seeing them!

    Greasy Guy then hung up his phone, then left his room and walked down to the parking lot where he hopped into his car and drove off for the airport; back on the plane, MrsPepper had traded places with ThePrawnCracker so he and Vic both could have window seats.

    MRSPEPPER: Are you two satisfied now?

    VIC ROMANO: I am.

    THEPRAWNCRACKER: Me too!

    MRSPEPPER: (Sighs) Good.

    About an hour and a half later, the plane landed at the airport; Greasy Guy was in the lobby watching the plane land, minutes later everyone was exiting the plane, however Vibs accidentally missed a step and fell down the stairs taking the rest of the thread killers with her. A few more minutes later, the thread killers entered the airport lobby where they found a greasy looking guy holding up a sign that read “PEPPER”.

    MRSPEPPER: Are you our chauffer?

    GREASY GUY: Yes ma’am, my shuttles right outside, if you’ll follow me!

    The thread killers followed Greasy Guy out to front, but MrsPepper paused for a moment.

    MRSPEPPER: (Thinking to herself) Hmm, that guy somehow looks awfully familiar…

    MrsPepper then caught up with the rest of the gang out front where Greasy Guy helped everyone into his mini van, which had a fake taxi sign on top. After everyone was in a buckled, Greasy Guy hopped in and started the engine.

    GREASY GUY: Next stop, the Pelican Beach Resort!

    And they were off; as they drove along the highway, Greasy Guy kept eyeballing MrsPepper in the rear-view mirror.

    GREASY GUY: (Thinking to himself) That’s her! I know that face anywhere...

    And so a short time later, the thread killers found themselves in front of the beautiful Pelican Beach Resort; they got out of the “shuttle” and Greasy Guy showed them into the front desk.

    CLERK: Can I help you?

    MRSPEPPER: Reservation for Pepper?

    CLERK: Ah yes, you’ve been reserved for one of our finest two-bedroom suites, room 711.

    The clerk then handed MrsPepper two card-keys and she turned around to thank their chauffer only to find he disappeared.

    MRSPEPPER: Hey, where’d he go?

    VIC ROMANO: (Turns around) Hey, where DID he go?

    MRSPEPPER: Oh well, let’s head on up to our room!

    *Commercial Break* Daily Trivia Question: Who were the stars of the failed T*H*O spin-off pilot? Submit your answer and win a free T*K*O action figure set!

    Moments later, the thread killers were on the seventh floor of the resort, MrsPepper unlocked the room, and they were astounded at what they saw: a huge luxurious two-bedroom suite with a small living room, and kitchenette, and a large window with a view of the beautiful Emerald Coast of Destin, Florida. Everyone made their way over to the window and they literally had the breath taken away from them.

    TOGETHERAGAIN: Oh, this is so beautiful!

    MRSPEPPER: Yeah... it would be nice to travel like this anytime!

    BEAUREGARD: MrsPepper, now that we’re here and everything, can we go to the beach now?

    MRSPEPPER: Well... you all can, I have to stay here and wait for the convention chairman to give me a call to let me know what time they want us down there for the convention.

    VIBS: Cool-ish!

    After a few minutes, everyone else were in their swim suites and left the building; after another few minutes everyone was on the beach: Vic and Prawnie were fighting each other until they got doused with the tide coming in, Toga was collecting sea-shells she found on the shoreline, Vibs was pretending to be a Bay watch lifeguard, while Beauregard was trying to look cool for a group of girls on the beach. Meanwhile in the lobby, Greasy Guy slowly walked in, placing a fake mustache on his lip, took off his hat and stuffed it in his jacket pocket, then walked up to the front desk.

    GREASY GUY: (Fakes deep voice) Uh hello there, I seem to have missed the rest of my party, I’m with MrsPepper and company... can you tell me what room we’re in?

    CLERK: Room 711, would you like a key?

    GREASY GUY: Uh yes please.

    So the clerk handed Greasy Guy a card-key, and he took off for the elevator; meanwhile in room 711, MrsPepper finished unpacking her small suitcase, looked around to make sure no one was watching, then walked over to the mirror on the door and held up a bikini in front of her in the mirror. Suddenly she heard the door open, so she quickly tossed the bikini aside and walked out of the bedroom, thinking it was one of the thread killers coming back in from the beach, but was taken by surprise when she saw what appeared to be a weird mustachioed man in the room.

    MRSPEPPER: (Gasps) Who are you?

    The man didn’t say anything; he simply peeled off his fake mustache and put his cap back on.

    MRSPEPPER: You-you is our chauffer!

    GREASY GUY: I’m much more MrsPepper... the name’s Guy, Greasy Guy.

    MRSPEPPER: (Confused) Greasy Guy?

    GREASY GUY: You might remember me from our Canadian high school... Agincourt.

    MRSPEPPER: (Gasps in horror) THAT Greasy Guy? But... but... how can this be?

    GREASY GUY: It be very well, now then, it’s time to finish that unfinished business a few years ago...

    Meanwhile in the elevator...

    BEAUREGARD: I couldn’t pick up one chick!

    THEPRAWNCRACKER: You got sand in my eye!

    VIC ROMANO: I did not!

    The elevator dropped off everyone on the seventh floor and they all continued babbling all the way to their room, where when they opened up the door, they found what looked like some greasy guy holding MrsPepper hostage.

    VIC ROMANO: Hey, what’s going on here?

    GREASY GUY: Stand back! I’ve got... uh... I’ve got... well okay, I don’t have anything, but I WILL use it! (Back to MrsPepper) Now hand it over!

    MRSPEPPER: Hand WHAT over?

    GREASY GUY: My pen!

    MRSPEPPER: (Confused) What pen?

    GREASY GUY: Remember that day when we had to write an essay in English class, and you didn’t have anything to write with and you asked me if you could borrow my pen, and I gave it to you? You never gave it back to me!

    MRSPEPPER: You mean you had us fly all the way down here just so you could get a PEN and NOT a T*K*O convention?

    GREASY GUY: That was my very last fine-tipped blue-inked ballpoint pen!

    MRSPEPPER: I don’t believe this! I’m calling security!

    GREASY GUY: GIVE ME BACK MY PEN!

    MRSPEPPER: (Calling the front desk) I don’t have your stinking pen, and what’s the big deal, you can always buy a new pack of pens at dollar store! Oh yes, front desk?

    *Commercial Break* Daily Trivia Question: What is MrsPepper s catch phrase? Submit your answer to win a free T*K*O action figure set!

    Shortly there after, the clerk and a couple of state troopers were up in the room escorting Greasy Guy out.

    CLERK: I’m so terribly sorry about this everyone... I always suspected this guy was a weirdo.

    GREASY GUY: (Being dragged down the hallway) YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME MRSPEPPER, I WILL FIND YOU AND WHEN I DO I’LL BE ALL OVER YOU LIKE A BAD ITCH.

    CLERK: Again, I’m terribly sorry about this... well, enjoy your stay and the convention.

    MRSPEPPER: What convention, he lied about this whole thing just to drag us down here to get a pen from me.

    CLERK: Oh, but there IS a T*K*O convention being held today and tomorrow, they’ll be meeting at our central convention center, I’ll be happy to find some brochures and maps for you.

    MRSPEPPER: That’ll be fine, thank you.

    With that, the clerk left the room.

    THEPRAWNCRACKER: Boy, what a weird day this has been!

    VIC ROMANO: Yeah, imagine some guy tracking down someone from high school after a few years and then dragging her all the way down here many miles away just to get a pen back!

    BEAUREGARD: But at least the T*K*O convention turned out to be real after all!

    TOGETHERAGAIN: Hey, that’s right, and it won’t even cost a cent to attend.

    MRSPEPPER: Yeah, but we have bigger problems to worry about.

    VIC ROMANO: What’s that MrsPepper?

    MRSPEPPER: Greasy Guy was, in a way, was treating us to these accommodations, and now that he’s out of the picture, we can’t afford to stay here, nor can we afford plane tickets for six people back to New York!

    UH OH!

    THE END

    Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
    Producer: MrsPepper
    Head Writer: D’Snowth

    Songs:
    “Wouldn’t it Be Nice”
    Performed by The Beach Boys

    Air Transportation Provided By:
    DELTA AIRLINES

    Hotel Accommodations Provided By:
    THE PELICAN BEACH RESORTS

    Location Site Provided By:
    THE EMERALD COAST​
  2. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Fun episode! I like that they traveled away from the office for this one. Awesome!
  3. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    This is actually based on something that happened in real life! There was this guy in my Grade 6 reading class and he needed something to write with an he asked me if he could borrow a pen, and even though it was my last pen I let him borrow it anyway, and he said he'd give it back but he never did. Even on our finale day of middle school I said to him "you know you STILL owe me that pen, don't you?"

    Oh, and this episode is also based on the three-part Sanford and Son episode where Fred and Lamont are suckered into taking a trip to Hawaii for a junk convention, only to discover they were being used to smuggle stolen diamonds back into the mainland.
  4. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    This episode had nice plotting, with excitment and a lot of questions. Plus some good jokes, like, "Guy, Greasy Guy." Good episode!
  5. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Great episode... Twas fun to see the insanity of DanDan rear his/her/its bluish head somewhere else for a change.

    BTW: The Pelican Beach Resort? Seems to me I remember that hotel from Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise.
    Am I correct in that? Who knows... Who cares...
    Looking forward to the next episode.
  6. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    I don't know, all I know is when my family went to Destin a few years ago we TRIED to get a room at the Pelican Beach Resort, so that's how I remembered it for this episode.
  7. MrsPepper

    MrsPepper Active Member

    Hah, I love how Dan was the villian! I hope he knows. You did a good job!

    I loved this line:
    the whole concept is so ridiculous, plus caps lock MAKES EVERYTHING FUNNIER!!!!

    Good setup, very solid. I liked the little background information about what everyone was doing on the plane, like showing Prawnie and Vic fight over the window seat, you've really established the characters well.

    Also I liked how the Greasy Guy was following us everywhere. I knew somehting was up right away! ><

    Great job!
  8. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    You're right. Was thinking of the Pelican Crest Resort.
  9. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    Funny stuff. I'm just curious as to why my character doesn't appear in the episode.:confused: All the rest of the cast seem to.

    Maybe the answer is revealed in the prequel and sequel episodes. I may be a little disappointed but not really upset. I know the chaplain will be well used throughout the season and I look forward to getting the continuity gaps of it all filled in.:)
  10. furryredmonster

    furryredmonster New Member

    'Cause the episodes are done out of order or something like that, remember?

    Good show, btw.
  11. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Father Marty is just a recurring character, remember?
  12. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    Ah just recurring right.
    Not necessarily regular. Gotcha.
    So does he have separate living quarters and only calls in on T*K*O offices for occasional pastoral visits or if somebody wants him to come round and discuss personal concerns privately in their individual offices?

    Truth is I've never seen M*A*S*H but since T*K*O is modelled upon it in many ways then I guess Father Mulhaney, whatever his name is, basically has much the same sort of recurring support role as Father Marty, am I right?
  13. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Actually, Father Mulcahy did start out as a recurring character, but by season five of M*A*S*H he became a regular since he was on the show so much.

    Unfortunately, Father Marty will be a recurring character for the remainder of the series because another regular character isn't really all that necessary this late in the series, but don't worry he is in four other episodes, and a flashback episode!
  14. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    Well I'm certainly looking forward to seeing those episodes and as small as my role will be I am proud to have been involved with the T*K*O series. :D
  15. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Beauregard Janitor was a reoccuring character in the original series, season one. He didn't always appear, but was always fantastic when he did (naturally).
  16. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Here's how it is...

    Season One Recurring Characters: KermieBaby47, Vibs, and Beauregard

    Season Two Recurring Characters: Beauregard, AnythingMuppet and Number One (voice only)

    Season Three Recurring Characteres: AnythingMuppet, Number One, Officer ReneeLouvier, and Officer Furryredmonster.

    Season Four Recurring Characters: AnythingMuppet, Number One, Father Marty, Officer ReneeLouvier, Officer Furryredmonster, and somehow Judge RedBoobergurl has made it to the level of recurrance.
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Ah... Yes... Bo and his revisionist history...
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    I LOVED it!! So funny, and insane! Of course it was insane though, it WAS Dan! Haha! Great job Snowthy! And I love fighting with Vic, btw...:p
  19. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    You two are like a couple of bratty kids!
  20. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    *shrug* Go with your strengths I suppose. :p


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