Chapter 1 Our story begins in at WRC-TV in Washington, D.C. The year is 1955. There's auditions for a new local show, and the casting has been almost finished. "I got the part!", said Blingo, a purple guy who looked like part-salmon, part-buffalo. "Yeah, but everyone who auditioned got hired", said Harry the Hipster. "I'm hungry", growled Yorick. "If this were Hollywood or something, there'd be a lot more people auditioning", said Harry. The boss, Mr. H, came out. "Well, I've hired all that I could afford to hire", said Mr. H, "and I just happened to have that many people audition, so...." Kermit then ran in. "Wait!", shouted Kermit, carrying a banjo and a record with him, "May I audition?" "Well, we've already hired as many people as we can afford", said Mr. H, "but I'll let you audition." "Oh, thanks", said Kermit, putting a record on the record player, "this is a duet, so can somebody lip-sync with me?" "Sam, you're the star", said Mr. H, "you do the duet." The record played, and Kermit and Sam lip-synced to "That Old Black Magic", though Kermit lip-synched to the male parts and Sam lip-synced to the woman parts. After it was over, everyone applauded. "That's good", said Mr. H, "but I think Sam should do the male parts." "Well, I guess I'm willing to do drag if I need to", said Kermit. "Well, now I've got to fire one of them", said Mr. H. Everyone else gasped. "You can't fire me, Mr. H", said Professor Madcliffe, "I've got a Harvard degree! I found it the day my brother graduated." "And you can't fire me", said Chicken Liver, "I simply don't want you to." Everyone else started talking over each other. Mr. H let out a loud whistle. "Okay, I guess the one I'll have to let go is....." Mr. H looked around, struggling to bring himself to do so, but then pointed to Blingo. "What? But why?", asked Blingo. "Well, for one, you're the only one who has not yet signed your contract." "But I thought I did, Mr. H", said Blingo. "No", said Mr. H, holding up a contract, "you signed a prop contract." The prop contract then exploded. The others looked shocked at first, then chuckled. "Hmm, hey Mr.. H, maybe that can be a trademark of ours", said Harry. "Hmmmmm", thought Mr. H, "But also, you are the only one who refuses to do drag." "Refuse to do drag is RIGHT!", said Blingo, "now you reconsider and put me on the show, without me doing drag, or else!" Blingo was then thrown out of the station buidling. "Oh, they're going to pay some day", said Blingo, "especially that.... Frog-like thing! I just need to figure out the perfect plan." Cut to today, when the Muppets are having a meeting. Scooter was reading a news paper, "how sad." "What's that?", asked Bunsen. "Over 100,000 banks in this city alone have been robbed." "I didn't know this city had that many banks", said Fozzie. "Okay, everyone", said Kermit, "last night's show was good, but as usual, it can be better." "I'm glad Statler and Waldorf aren't here", said Fozzie, "I can only imagine what they'd say." Then a thought bubble showed up, with Statler and Waldorf inside. "As usual, the show can be better", said Statler. "It can always be better", said Waldorf, "but it never is!" Statler and Waldorf laughed, then the bubble popped. "I know how to improve the show", said Crazy Harry, "use these prop contracts!" Crazy Harry held a prop contract, which then exploded. Crazy Harry let out a wild laugh. "That joke got old the 177th time", coughed Gonzo. "Anyway", said Kermit, "the network wants us to take a short vacation." "Can it be tropical?", asked Yolanda. "Why don't we go to the chicken farm by the Grand Canyon?", asked Gonzo. "Maybe we can go to the Hard Rock Hotel", said Floyd. "HARD ROCK! HARD ROCK!", shouted Animal. Denise then came in. "Kermit, you've got a special message", said Denise. "Oh, thank you, Denise", said Kermit, reading the letter, "Wow, somebody wants to give us, the Muppets, a special 60th anniversary vacation weekened at "Fun Wine Country", the place with wine, rides, art, high culture, and other great family entertainment." "And they have wine at a family fun place?", said Bobo. "It says that most expenses have been paid for us", said Kermit, "and be sure to bring as many Muppets as you can." "Well, I can't go", said Denise, "I have to work." "Aww, that's too bad", said Kermit. "I can bring some of my scientiffic equipment", said Bunsen. "Mee mee mee mee", agreed Beaker. "This place seems like a highly cultural place", said Sam the Eagle, "I congraduate this person for inviting us. He has great taste. So who invited us?" "It actually doesn't say", said Kermit. "It's probably Walter", said Scooter, "he'd probably want to have all the Muppets included." "Or maybe it's that Minor Muppetz guy", said Lips. "Well, it's such a great coincidence that we are having this trip at the same time that the network wants us to have a break", said Kermit, "and unfortunate that it has to be when Denise can't come, but let's get packing!" Everyone cheered.