The Muppets Perform Harry Potter.

[LamangoNumber2]

Heh, well, tonight's gonna be hard posting... Anyways...Spoilers...
Bean Bunny is Dobby. Bean has been abused lately...BUT NEVER ABUSED...BY HIMSELF!

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Ok, now for a little teaser for the next chapter!

Kermit rushed into the backstage area the next day, clearing his desk of the small booklettes from the first book, replacing them with the Chamber of Secret's. He then turned to the clock, still early.

The backstage door opened, as the Mayhem Band where the second to arrive. Floyd, leading the pack of musicians, walked by Kermit, patting the frog on the back.
"Here's to another great show, man." the pink skinned bassplayer chuckled.
Kermit nodded, and greeted the rest of the band.

Clifford was the next to show up, in a new outfit, like every day. Kermit swore that the deep voiced man had a new set of clothes for every day of the year.
"Hey Kerm, am I needed in the play yet?"
"Not yet, Clifford, so wait in the bandstand." Kermit nodded to the Band Pit, where Floyd was giving Janice a 'before-show good-luck kiss'.

Clifford hopped into the pit, starteling Lips, who noticed who it was before laughing. Clifford picked up his bass, tunning it.
Floyd, who just got busy giving his main squeeze some loving, glared at the purple skinned Homey made of Foamy. "Hold on, man, I'm the bass player here. You better not be trying to step on my turf."
"Chill man. The sound track needs more boom and lest twang, so why don't you put your little toy down." Clifford laughed, looking at Lips, who apparently took his side.

"Listen, Cat-fishface, I ain't letting go of the bass I was raised with." Floyd kissed the said bass, and glared at Clifford.
"Lyke, not to take sides, but Floyd is a better bassman..." Janice chimed in, flipping her hair.

Kermit was to busy rushing around back stage to notice the possible brawl about to take place in the band pit. Rowlf, Scooter, Rizzo, Gonzo and Fozzie all walked up the stairs, having taken to the concept of 'going green' the group decided to car-pool together.
"Hey Fozzie, you're in this play, so no scene stealing, got it?" Kermit scolded the bear, who nodded.

Rowlf then came out to the stage, holding the sheets of music he was given, and witnessed the staredown. "Oh no..."
Clifford and Floyd where face to face, both silent, while Zoot and Lips where rooting on who they think was better. Dr.Teeth, taking the mature road and being the second eldest musican in the bandpit as of yet, decided that his golden tooth was more interesting. Janice, like a good girlfriend, was backing up her man, also trying to stop the possibility of the two bassest trading blows, while Animal started to chant "Fight."

"Oh thank the Dog, Rowlf's here." Dr.Teeth stretched his arms, flexing his fingers, nodding to the two 'hipster's about to trade blows. "Just ignore em, they'll calm down..."
"Don't be so sure of that, Good Doc." Floyd huffed, before shoving Clifford abit.

Scooter waited for Skeeter at the door. She was followed by Piggy, Camilla, Hilda, Mildred, and other assorted females, and all of them instantly went into the girls dressing room. Scooter then yelped as Beard was standing at the door.
"Hey Beard....I didn't notice you."
"Yeah, no one seems to..." Beard then blew some hair from his face, which seemed pointless, as he walked into the bandpit, and was instantly dragged into the fight.

"Yo, Beard, which one of us is the better bass player, man?" Clifford nodded over his shoulder at Floyd. "Peppermint over here thinks its him."
Beard instantly threw up his hands, "Don't you dare drag me into this, we always do this, and we always agree that Animal is right."
"YEAH! RIGHT! RIGHT! Hahahaha!" Animal bounced in his drum set.

Kermit greeted the rest of his extended family as they walked in. "Hey Big Bird, you're in todays play too, don't forget your role." the frog reminded the yellow six year old, who, once he entered the backstage area, hit his head on the second floor's railing.
"Ow..." He held his head. "Acting hurts, Kermit."
"I'm sure it does..." the frog flipped through his booklettes.

Down in the Canteen, the Chef was prepareing food, throwing utensils and other objects around at random. Sitting at one of the tables was Mr.Johnson, who was ALSO going to be present in this play.
"Mmm. That food sure smells nice, Chef." The fat-blue man complemented.
"Iz good, ja?" The chef gave him the A-OK sign before going back to word. "De odor be mm ready!" The happy Swede slapped his hands together, hitting a bell.
Grover then rushed over to the countertop, and slipped the food onto his plate. "Which table it go to, Tom?"
The Chef scratched his head. "Tum? Er...De tables wit da blue-wooie mansy wansy."
Grover stared blankly at the chef, before looking at Mr.Johnson, who stared wide eyed at the over-helpfull monster.
"No....No...NO!" Johnson slammed his fist down. "I refuse to be served by you! I demand another waiter!"
Grover walked over. "I am not here to serve you, I'm just here till Gladys comes back from the bathroom."
The chef then looked at Johnson. "Tempah tempah..." With a shake of his head, the chef started making meals for the other preformers.

Sam Eagle walked through the front of the theater, after almost getting thrown out by Bobo, who beleived Sam was trying to pass off as Big Bird, saw the semi-fight going on in the band pit. The Solid Foam and Mayhem where now glareing at each other, only a select few where ignoreing the fight, while Nigel, whimp as he was, tried to avoid getting in the middle.
Rowlf finally had enough. "Listen. I've been playing instruments longer than ANY of you, so calm down. I have a great ear, being a dog and all, and I say you're all good."
Dr.Teeth nodded. "Brown ears has a point. Stop the basswar, and lets just get into the mellow, man."
"Melons? ...Yum." Zoot rubbed his stomach. "I got the munchies now...thanks."
Lips shook his head. "The munchies? Man, use the recent terms, blue."
Beard chuckled, nudging Floyd with his elbow. "Between you and me, bro. You're the number one."
"Thought so." Floyd chuckled.
Meanwhile, backstage, Kermit peeked out into the filling seats of the theater, and up in the balcony where Statler, Waldorf and Walter all sat, glareing down at the stage. "Well...its time to get things started...." Kermit fixed his collar and hopped into the spotlight.
--------

And please, anyone who reads this, please post. The Count can't be the only one, can he?

 

[The Count]

*Sits down in a seat waiting for the start of Book 2. *Talking to Fatatatita, curled up in my lap... You know I made my own Potter character fright? Yes... That's why I love this so. *Leans back, and sips from the soda bought outside.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Still doing some editing, but when I get done, it's coming right up, sir, and ma'am... Yes, I know you're sneaking around, Mich.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Kermit was now sitting on the wardrobe of Harry's desk, nodding to the audiance, while Hoots sat calmly in the cage next to the frog.
"Well, it's been a whole year since the last time we left Harry... Now he's twelve, and being forced to stay in his new room at the Dursley's..."
Ploobis was heard stomping up the stairs. "Boy!"
"Erm...Yes Uncle?" Gobo was grabbed.
"You better not cause any trouble, you hear? Or I will not let you keep that...bird!" Ploobis pointed a pudgy finger at Hoots, who opened his eyes.
"Chill man, no need to get your scales sore." the owl shook his head.
"Now come down stairs...We're having a little meeting..." Ploobis dragged Gobo out of the door.

"Now, with Harry and Vernon gone, another guess had appeared in the room." Kermit slowly turned his head to the wardrobe, as a small rabbit exited from the inside, and began to explore the room.
"This creature was a house elf...But we can't afford them, so it's a bunny..." Kermit scrunched his face, when Bean turned to the audiance, waving. "This one in particular is named Dobby."

Bean then spotted the bed, and went wide eyed, hopping onto it.
Gobo had just returned from the 'meeting', and stared at Bean, who was giggling.
"Dudes not right in the head..." Hoots shrugged his shoulders, finding his wings more interesting.
Kermit turned to Hoots. "Shhh.... This is the movie's tag line..."

"Harry Potter must not go backs to Hogwarts." Bean rasped.

Kermit continued to narrate, how Bean made a cake fall on Zelda Rose and J.P. Grosse's head and got Harry into trouble, how Ploobis hired Lindenburgh, Biff and Sulley to install iron bars on his window, forbiding Hoots or Gobo to the outside world.
"But then came a new site..." Kermit turned, looking out the window at a car, which was being driven by Crow and Tom, both in the red wigs, while Wembly bounced in the back seat.
"Ron! Fred! George! Oh am I glad to see you, what are you doing here?" Gobo asked.
"Well.." Started Crow.
"Who else would get you out..." Tom followed.
"To progress the plot." the two robots finished, while Wembly nodded.
"Pack your things, Harry, you're staying at our place... Scabbers, can you tie this to Harry's windows?"
"Oh sure." Rizzo lept from the flying car, and hooked two metal cables around the bars.
"Better stand back." Rizzo warned.

With a loud crash, the window was pulled free, Crow and Tom both gathered Harry's trunk and other items, while Hoots slinked into the back seat. Kermit too joined them, almost being invisible, until he was being squashed against the opposite side of the backseat area.
"Cool ride, my main bots." the jazzy owl chimed.
"Its a rental." Servo called over his shoulder. "Now lets go home."
Wembly patted Gobo on the back. "And happy birthday, Harry."

Kermit, finally pushing Hoots and Wembly away from him, shook his head. "Well, we're on our way to the second year of Hogwarts, but we're gonna make a pitstop at the Burrow, home of the Weasley's... Ginny, Ron, Fred, George, Percy, Charlie, Bill, Molly, and Arthur...Its a nice family, alittle on the poor side..."
"Don't forget over populated." Rizzo chimed in.
"You're a rat, don't speak to us Weasley's of over populations!" Crow scolded.
"If you all keep argueing I'm going to run us into Big Ben." Servo swirved the wheel, making the car do a turn so great, everyone was pressed against the right side windows, screaming.
Kermit's voice sounded from the bottom of the pile of fraggles, an owl and a rat. "Well, we're going to the Weasley's, we'll meet you there!"

Ploobis and Peuta both entered Harry's room, eyes wide, before Ploobis, turned suddenly, smacking his wife with his snout. "Dudley! Get papa his hammers!"
"OK!" Came Carl's voice.

Walter shook his head. "A flying car? Isn't this story supposed to take place before the ninties? ...How do they have a flying car?"
"J.K must have watched the Jetsons." Statler added.
Waldorf looked over the rail, down to J.K. "We found another plot hole, that makes eight hundred so far!"

 

[The Count]

C'mon, haven't you heard of flying Deloreans? *Wonders if that car was Thundercloud, Htom's motorized go-cart.
And I wonder how he can drive anything with those inarticulate little arms of his.

What? No, I didn't write his name wrong. Remember? He changed it to Htom Sirveaux. Yeah, and if he wants us to call him that, he can hlick... Erm... Yeah.
Wonderful start to Chamber. Post more when possible, I enjoy it.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Well, Chamber of Secrets Part two, coming your way! ...Oh for the love of pete... Someone besides Count leave a remark! His fingers must be getting tired. I see all of you looking, not leaving friendly feedback about my spellings and what not!

Part 2: The Burrow.

The flying car had landed, the seven passangers all filed out, sneaking towards the door of a large, cozzy looking household. The group of, lets face it, weirdos, hoped the cover of the rising sun and the morning mist would conceal them.

Kermit, rushing ahead of the group, slipped into the doorway, looking around for a place to sit. Soon, Gobo, Wembley, the two Bots, Rizzo and Hoots all entered, only to be greeted by a booming voice.

"Where have you been!" Piggy erupted from behind a chair, which Kermit was thankful not to sit on.
"You all remember her, right? The over protective mother of the Weasley Clan, Molly." Kermit then took a seat at the windowsill, looking outside. "Once again, I must remind you...The Weasley family is poor, but they make up what they can't get with money, with love." Kermit smiled.
"Do you have any idea what time it is!" Piggy glared, stomping over to the two twins.
"Time for Dancing with the Stars?" Servo chimed, only to be glared at, silencing him.
"No!" Piggy glared at them, then noticed the car was parked differently. "You didn't!"

"Well, what were we supposed to do? Those Dursley's had him locked behind bars!" Crow shouted, matching Piggy in volume.
"Yeah, and they weren't feeding him right! Look at him, he's a bone rack!" Servo added.

Gobo waved sheepishly to the Matriarch of the Weasley family, who only smiled warmly. "Hello Harry dear, why don't you go into the kitchen and have some breakfast?" She moved over and guided him into the kitchen, followed by Wembley.

"Breakfast sounds pretty nice actually..." Servo began to make his way to the kitchen.
"Not so fast, Fire Hydrant." Piggy grabbed the red robot by the shoulder. "You are waiting for your father to come home so he can think of a good punishment."

Later that morning, Kermit sitting at the table with the Weasley Family now, looking around.
"Oh, the Weasley's have one daughter, the rest of them are boys..." He looked at the stairs where Red Fraggle came walking down, yawning.
"Morning..." She stretched, then went wide eyed, seeing Gobo. After a few minutes, she retreated upstairs.

"She fancies you." Crow nudged Gobo, who blinked.
Fozzie then came rushing in, wearing a red wig, holding his hat in his paw. "Oh my... Oh! Hello Harry..." He then turned to Piggy, giving her a fake kiss on the cheek. "Hello Molly."
"Hello dear." Piggy continued her cooking, as Bert, in the signature red wig, also came down stairs.

"So, Harry, I hear you've been with muggles most your life..." Fozzie said, sitting down, shoveling a bunch of food onto his plate. "Could you tell me...." Fozzie noticed a certain orange, grinning boy in the wings, motioning for Fozzie to finish the lines.
"What...is the purpose of a rubber duck?" the tan bear finished, getting a blank stare from Gobo, but a laugh from Ernie.

Piggy shook her head. "Don't mind him, Harry, he's just obsessed with muggle items..." She placed another batch of pancakes on the table, while a scream came from the window.
"OPEN IT! OH NO!" Crash!
Rizzo and Hoots both cringed, before Hoots pushed open the window.
"Mai...mail's here..." Came Lindenburgh's voice, placing a package on the windowsill.

"Ah! That must be this years school suply list!" Piggy smiled, taking it. "Alright everyone, after breakfast and a quick shower, we're all going to Diagon Alley." Piggy marched over to Gobo.
"Care to come with us, Harry?"
"It'd be an honnor."

Kermit nodded, having been taking time from his narration to gobble down some blue-berry pancakes. "Oh! Erm...Caught the narrator off guard... Heh...Anyways... Yes, our next part is the famous Diagon Alley... A wizard shopping center, basicly. We'll meet you there!" Kermit waved.

Statler and Waldorf where sitting in the theaterbox, while Walter came walking back. "All they had was snowcaps..." He handed the box candies to the two hecklers, taking one for himself, then all three stared at the reader.
"What? Its our snack break." Statler scolded.
"Yeah, can't expect us to make jokes all the time, can you?" Waldorf said, tearing open his pack of snowcaps.
"We're old, we need a break now and then." Walter finished, getting approving nods from the two expert hecklers.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

As the three Hecklers said...I need a break. Kinda overwhelmed as of now. So, I may not post as much as I used to.

 

[The Count]

Is okay, I understand. Will be here waiting when you decide to continue. And there's the premiere of HBP this coming week to serve you for inspiration. Till then, take care and hope you post soon.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Kermit walked with the family, smiling, idoly chatting with Red and Gobo. "So, we're on our way to Diagon Alley, but we're going by Floo powder... Its where you stand in a fireplace and drop some powder and say the name of the destination you'd like to go." Kermit then watched as Servo and Crow both vanished after each shouted Diagon Alley.
"You must be loud and clear when you say it too...Or else, you get a very similar result to a Fozzie joke...Confused and random."
"Oh, that hurts, Narrator." Fozzie said, fixing his hat, as he to vanished.

Kermit hopped into the fireplace with Gobo. "Remember, it's Diagon Alley."
"I know." the orange fraggle replied, taking a fist full of Flu powder.
"Not Diet Gone Alley." the frog continued. "Or Diagnoly."
"Diagnoly!" Gobo shouted as he dropped the floo powder.
"That...doesn't seem right, what did he say?" Miss Piggy looked at Bert.
"I think he said Diagonly...but it was all... jumbled."

Gobo and Kermit where sent flying through the fireplaces, and finally landed in a creepy looking store. Around them where various dark looking nic-nacks, some even moving. A skull turned on it's table, looking at them.
"'Ello there, welcome to what ever this store's name is." Yorrick the skull greeted. Gobo gulped, as he then heard something crash from the back room.
Kermit too, gulped. "C'mon, this way." Kermit rushed into a closset, followed by the young fraggle.

Phil Van Neuter walked from the backroom, holding a few books, followed by Johny Fiama in a blonde wig. "Oh, I do hope these are to your likings, Mr. Malfoy."
"Yeah yeah, they're fine..." Johny grinned, then heard a cough.
Gobo was still trying to extract the Floo Powder from his nose. Johny raised his brow, walking to the closet.
"Oi, you get away from there." Yorrick hissed. "Its full of evil." Johny recoiled abit and sneered as best he could. "Right...Well, Sal shall return with the rest of my items."
"Oh very good sir!" Phil clapped his bloody gloves together.

After the two men where gone, Kermit opened the door, looking at Yorrick. "Why'd you help us?"
"Alas, I'm sick of being on display here." He rolled the glowing orbs in his eyes. "Just...get outta here, quickly."
"Right." Gobo said, rushing out the door, Kermit on his heals.

The two where in Nocturn alley, a nasty, dingy place, populated by monsters, frackles, rats, and other disgusting looking things. Gobo walked on, avoiding a perverted glance from a woman, while Kermit was offered some rotten looking fruit. Soon, a huge shaggy figure walked over.
"Harry, Frog?" Junior smiled, holding a can, then grimaced. "The heck you doing in Nocturne alley?" He shoved some other creatures out of the way.
"More like what are YOU doing here?" Gobo asked.
"Oh, just getting some Flesh Eating Slug repelant." Junior shook the can. "They've gotten into the school's radishes."
"Wait...Flesh eating and they're eating radishes?" Kermit scrunched his face. He looked out into the audiance, seeing Mrs. Rowling shrugging her shoulders.

After Junior guided Harry and Kermit to Diagon Alley, they where re-united with the Weasleys infront of Florish and Blotts. A long line was there to meet them, including Vicki and her parrents, Francine and Flash, who where looking confused.

"What's going on?" Gobo asked Vicki.
"Oh, its Gildroy Lockheart! A famous book writer!" Vicki squealed.

Ahead of the line, Link Hogthrob, in golden robes, fixed his collar, signing another book. "Next, please." He then spotted Gobo. "Harry Pooter!" He rushed out of his chair.
"That's 'POTTER', Link, you bone head." Kermit scolded the Swinetrek captain.
"Yeah, thats what I said." Link snorted abit, and placed a hand on Gobo's shoulder. "Together, my boy, we'll rule the front pages!" He grinned at the Newsman, who had a camera, flashing a picture.

After the unavoidable photo-op, Gobo was confronted by Polly Lobster. "Can't even go into a bookstore with out making a fuss, huh?"
"Leave him alone!" Red stood up for him.
"You're new girlfriend, eh, Potter?" Polly sneared.

"Lucious..." Fozzie glared at Johny, who grinned.
"Arthur.... I see you're still using your handme-down books..." He picked up the books from Red's culdren, and shook his head, slipping them back in along with an extra one.

"Don't start, Malfoy." Piggy glared, readying her fist.
"Erm...Yes ma'am...Come on, Son." He smacked Polly over the head with his cane, and proceeded to walk out.

Walter now returned to the theater box with more items of food and beverage. "So...We at Cow-Boils yet?"
"Cow-Boils?" Waldorf questioned. "I thought it was Hogwarts?"
"Nah, that doesn't sound right..." Walter scrunched his brow, thinking.
"Dolphin rash?" Statler piped up.
"Dog Blister?"
"Yeah, dog blister."
"Yeah..." Waldorf leaned over the side. "GET TO DOG BLISTER ALREADY!"