The Spectacular Spidey/Muppets Celebration

[muppetwriter]

Pepe: Dis is Pepe again, okay! Here with another interview wit a character from de next Tidey/Muffins crossover. Dis evening, I hope to get de real "meat" of dis story, okay. And when I say meat, I mean a serious amount of pork, alright. Hehe!

Piggy: Just introduce me, you lousy shrimp!!

Pepe: Oh, uh, right, okay. Here she is! De real star of de next Tidey/Muffin story. Miss Piggy!

Miss Piggy: Thank you. Thank you. Hahaha. It is a honor to be a part of this glorious celebration. *changes to a gruff tone* Despite the fact that everyone can only identity me through words on a screen rather than seeing my beautiful face.

Pepe: Hehe. Dank goodness for dat, okay.

Miss Piggy: I heard...I mean, I read....Argh! I noticed that, shrimp! You'd better not embarass me on the internet, ya hear? I'm promoting what could be the biggest role of my life!

Pepe: Sure. No problemo, okay. *clears throat* Now, Miss Piggy...jou have made quite an impact wit jour appearance in de second Tidey/Muffin tale....

Miss Piggy: If you're gonna interview me, at least get the title right! It's Spidey/Muppets, not Tidey/Muffins!

Pepe: Of course. My bad, okay.

Miss Piggy: You can say that again.

Pepe: Jou were involved in a love triangle wit Karmin and Mickey in de second story.

Miss Piggy: Well, it wasn't exactly a love triangle. Kermie just thought it was, because I was so charmed by Mickey's daring attitude. I mean, any woman would instantly fall for a man who bravely stepped in to save her butt from certain doom, wouldn't she?

Pepe: I wouldn't know, because I wouldn't take my love as far as gettin' busted up by a big scary man wit six freaky arms, okay.

“Don’t say a word, Piggy. Everything’s going to be alright.” Kermit quietly promised, and his brave rescue attempt seemed to have impressed Piggy, just as Mickey’s had. The frog noticed the impressed look on her face and knew that Mickey’s plan was working, even though things turned out differently than they imagined. “Mickey, Kim, and Spider-Man are here with me, so as soon as you get free…” Before Kermit could finish, a large piece of metal suddenly hit the pipe that Piggy and Mary Jane were chained to, forcing Kermit to hop away from the spot and land at the center of the room. Ock, Shego, and Drakken turned away from the machine and focused solely on Kermit.

“It was foolish for you to come here alone, Mr. Frog!” Ock exclaimed, as he crawled towards Kermit. “Now you’ll know the price for playing the hero.” By the time Ock was only a few feet away from Kermit, Spider-Man fell from the rafters and landed in front of him. Ock was more angered by Harry’s failure to eliminate Spidey than he was at Spidey’s sudden appearance.

“Shut the machine down, Ock.” Spidey demanded. “You’re gonna kill a lot more people this time.”

“Well, that’s a risk we’re willing to take.” Ock said, while Kim and Mickey looked past him from the rafters and spotted huge plugs connected to a massive outlet for the machine.

“Well, I’m not!!” Kim yelled, just before she dived from the rafters and fell towards the plugs, only to be grabbed by Ock’s tentacles and thrown back to the rafters, crashing through hard wooden boards.

Pepe: Ouch, okay! Dat Kim Passable sure did get her butt handed to her by Ock in dat scene, didn't she?

Piggy: It's Possible, and how come I didn't have any dialogue in that clip?! All I did was stay chained to a stupid pole with that ditzy Kirsten Dunst for the whole scene!

Pepe: Oh, jes. Kirsten Dunst. She's very...

Piggy: Watch your next word carefully, shrimp. It may be your last.

Pepe:*gulp* Um...let's move on, okay. Tell me about jour role in de next story. Jou're still a Daily Planet reporter...

Piggy: It's Daily Bugle, you idiot! And no, I'm not. *sarcastically* I'll be too busy starring in a "remake" to a Broadway play I hadn't done in twenty-something years.

Pepe: But jou and de other Muffins are doing it for de money to pay back Rachel "She's-so-very-sexy-okay" Bitterman. Jou remember?

“Hey, Kermit.” Ronnie said. “How’ve you been holding up?”

“Uh…just fine, Ronnie. Just fine.” Kermit replied, and Fozzie, Ronnie, and Robin noticed the discouraged look on his face, as he kept looking towards the window.

“What’s wrong, Uncle Kermit?” Robin asked. “Aren’t you glad to see Mr. Crawford?”

“Oh, I’m thrilled to see him again, Robin.” Kermit remarked. “It’s just that…”

“Of course! The foreclosure!” Fozzie interjected, and Kermit wanted to tell him that wasn’t it, but Ronnie’s interjection kept him from doing so.

“Foreclosure?” He said. “What are you guys going to lose?”

“The Happiness Hotel.” Robin told Ronnie, who was really disappointed to hear that.

“Wow. That’s tough.”

“Tell us about it.” Fozzie said.

“When is the deadline to pay it off?” Ronnie asked.

“December 25th, 2006.” Kermit replied, and Ronnie was surprised over the due date.

“Christmastime?! Well, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“It does, if your name is Rachel Bitterman.” Kermit remarked, and Fozzie and Robin still cringed at the sound of that name, ever since she tried to foreclose the Muppet Theatre on the Christmas of 2002. But that time they heard it, a chill went down both of their spins.

“Uncle Kermit,” Robin said, “Don’t tell us that greedy lady is threatening to foreclosure the Happiness Hotel this time!”

“I’ve done the research, Robin…and I’m afraid it’s true.” Kermit said. “If we don’t pay Miss Bitterman off by Christmas of next year, then she’ll take away the Hotel and replace it with some scandalous nightclub.”

“Scandalous nightclub?!” Ronnie exclaimed.

“Long story.” Kermit uttered, and Ronnie shook the thought out of his head, long enough to ask some more important questions.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have the money ready by then, seeing as how you’ve got your performances at the Muppet Theatre and your broadcasts at the KMUP station to help raise it all.” Ronnie assumed, and when he saw how Fozzie, Kermit, and Robin lowered their heads in despair, he had finally reached the peak of disbelief and sorrow. “Oh, come on! They’re your last hope!”

“They were until the Hulk wrecked the station.” Fozzie said.

“And few people started coming to the Theatre.” Kermit added. “But if we had something just as good as Manhattan Melodies was years ago, then more people would start being interested again and we would earn enough to pay Miss Bitterman.” What Kermit just said gave Ronnie a terrific idea that he was certain would help the Muppets save their hotel.

Piggy: Yeah! Okay! I get it! We needed the money to keep the tramp from stealing a run down piece of...

Pepe: Okay, okay, okay, okay! Careful, Miss Little Piggy. Dis is a family forum, okay.

Piggy:*taking deep breaths* Ya got any more ridiculous questions to ask me, shrimp?!

Pepe: Jes, I have one more, okay. Out of all de women who are in dis story. Who would jou rate de sexiest, okay?

Piggy: Finally, I question I have a good answer to.

Pepe: Oh, wait. I wasn't finish with de question. *reads card*

Piggy: What? What does the rest say?

Pepe: "Who would jou rate de sexiest....other than Miss Piggy?"

Piggy:*furiously* WHAT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pepe: Jour choices are: A) Mary Jane Watson, B) Gwen Stacey, and C)....

Piggy: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

(Piggy karate chops Pepe right off the set.)

Piggy: THIS INTERVIEW'S OVER!!!!! *walks away*

Kermit:*steps in* Uh...sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Looks like we have a few technical difficulties. But....uh...when we get back, we'll have more marvelous treats for you. Uh...*looks offstage*...you OK, Pepe?

Pepe:*weakly* Who's...okay, Pepe? Uhhhh....

Kermit: Oh, boy. Stay tuned, everybody. *starts walking off* Can we get a nurse in here please?

 

[The Count]

Actually... Sesame Street came first, starting in 1969... Followed by The Electric Company in the late 1970's at about the same time The Muppet Show was on the TV's in the USA.
An interesting thing about Spidey's mutation into Man-Spider in the animated series. You remember the three-part episode where he mutates into Man-Spider and he's being hunted down by The Punisher cause it's a monster loose in the city and Mariah Crawford gets Sergay Kravenoff to track Spidey down to administer the curative syrum? Well, at the end (and this is what was eliminated in the repeats, but I remember it distinctly from when it aird on Fox Kids), Punisher asks Sergay how he was able to find Spidey so quickly... Sergay answers that he used his sense of smell, the webbing had a faint trace of burnt rubble that reminded him of the news story about the failed explosion at the Twin Towers in 1993.
Another thing... Looking back on the story, it strikes me as dynamic and odd at the same time that you skipped past the part of the story where Peter gets his powers and discovers the extents of the same, starting with the I-team heading off to the wrestling match. Oh, and on a related note, I'll be going with a friend of mine on Sunday to a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant to watch Wrestlemania 23. When it comes to that event, I always bet on my champ, by betting on black.

 

[muppetwriter]

Thanks again, Count. I think I'd better get back on Muppet Wiki and check my facts before mentioning them in these side-notes.

As for the part of the story where Peter discovers his powers, I skipped right ahead to the wrestling event because the story is told in first person, and there was no way I could put that part in without making it seem a little awkward.

And I can't wait 'til this Sunday, when Vince McMahon gets his head shaved bald!

 

[The Count]

Heh... So you're in that camp huh? Well, let's see what happens. *Prepares grave for the next victim to be added to the cemetary.

 

[muppetwriter]

Kermit: Good news, everyone! We have more story coming your way right now. *suddenly remembers* Oh, yeah, and Pepe's injuries weren't severe. He won't be interviewing anyone for a long time, especially Miss Piggy, but he's good.

Chapter Three (Part Two):​

The eyes of everyone in the crowd switched from Goblin’s crash-landing over the tent to his glider, which was whirling around uncontrollably through the air. It went through a large, helium-inflated balloon of a globe, putting large holes in both sides of it and releasing massive amounts of helium from it. The gigantic, deflating balloon started falling towards the deserted stage that the band was playing on and causing everything to collapse. An innocent little boy was standing near the collapsing stage at the time, and he stood there and watched it come towards him, seemingly stunned.

“Somebody get that kid out of the way, before he gets killed!” A man shouted, and I’m surprised that no one had the guts enough to do it, including me! Just when it seemed as if the little boy was about to be crushed by the falling structure of the stage, Spider-Man had suddenly appeared and carried the boy away in time, saving his precious life. He dashed over to the boy’s mother and reunited them, all while there was some commotion that was happening behind me.

“Hey, you! Don’t move!” Someone ordered, and I turned my head to see at least five police officers surrounding the Green Goblin, who had emerged from the destroyed tent, with no sign of injures on him. As he moved towards the officers, the Goblin put his hands up in the air and taunted them.

“I surrender!” He exclaimed, right before he unleashed some of the most devastating moves I have ever seen a human being display. However, it was a question as to whether this Goblin character was human or not. After seeing how dangerous he was, I turned to my friends and urged them to take immediate cover; but I knew it was too late, when the Goblin noticed the bulbs that were flashing in his face. “Did I forget to mention that I’m ‘camera shy’?” Then the Goblin started advancing towards us in a threatening manner, which scared the five of us very much.

“Oh, no!” cried Fozzie, and though the guy was ten times stronger than me, I was willing to try and take him down for the sake of my sister and my three buddies. But I was spared the trouble, once Spider-Man had shown up in front of us.

“How ‘bout picking on someone your own species?” said Spidey, and he attempted to throw a punch at the Goblin, but the green terror countered his attack by catching his right fist.

“You lose!!” bellowed the Goblin, just before he kicked Spider-Man square in the chest and sent him flying across the air, crashing through a banquet table, a tower of fragile, wine-filled glasses, and finally, the post of a streetlight that broke apart and crashed near an innocent bystander.

(Much of the choreography in this scene wasn't in the script I used, so I depended on screencaps to help me.)

“Whoa! That was some kick!” exclaimed Gonzo, truly impressed with the Green Goblin’s fighting skills, and Kermit was taken aback by his sense of loyalty.

“Gonzo! Whose side are you on?” He asked.

“I-I’m just saying that was an excellent move…that’s all.” said Gonzo, just as we heard a loud rocketing noise and turned to see the Goblin back on his vicious glider. He obviously heard what Gonzo had said about him, because he wouldn’t have said what he said next.

“Buddy, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!” yelled the Goblin, and he & his glider zoomed over our heads to pursue Spider-Man, who was running for dear life, as the Goblin’s glider fired a great amount of ammunition at him. Despite the fact that the Goblin was trying to kill Spider-Man, Gonzo was still amazed by his skills and artillery.

“Wow! I think we’ve actually found something bigger than Spider-Man here!” exclaimed Gonzo, and he took more photos of the green menace, as he fired a large rocket at Spider-Man. Luckily, Spidey zipped himself away before the rocket exploded near him; that made Kermit and Fozzie cheer for him excitedly.

“Yeah! Atta boy, Spider-Man!” Kermit shouted.

“Go get ‘em!” yelled Fozzie, as Spider-Man swung beneath another large balloon, with the Goblin still on his tail; but he was able to avoid him by looping himself backwards and landing right on top of the balloon. We were suddenly reminded of a more serious situation that was happening, when Mary Jane screamed in terror from the crumbling spot of the balcony that she was on.

Spider-Man jumped from one large balloon figure to another and another, until he was finally near the spot that Mary Jane was located. He attempted to jump over to her, until the Goblin suddenly appeared again and caught Spider-Man in midair, flying him over to large window and slamming both of their bodies against it, with several bits of shattered glass falling. Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I knew that Spider-Man would never get to Mary Jane in time, so we all decided to immediately turn into helpful citizens, instead of photo-snapping journalist.

(One reason I had them step in was to make them more than just commentators to the whole event and bring some usefulness to their roles in the scene.)

“Come on! Let’s get something to use as a net!” ordered Kermit, and we dashed over to one of the broken tables that still had the tablecloth over it, snatching the tablecloth and using it as a net to catch Mary Jane with. The five of us then grabbed certain corners and sides of the tablecloth and spread it far apart to make it tight enough to soften Mary Jane’s fall. However, we failed to notice a small tear in the fabric of the tablecloth that increased in size when we spread it apart; it eventually shredded in half, leaving the five of us falling to the ground and watching the ripped tablecloth helplessly.

“Oh, no!” said Fozzie, miserably. “What do we do now?”

“Pray that Spider-Man will get to the girl in time.” said Kermit, and we looked up as Spider-Man was knocked off of the Goblin’s glider and landed on the more stabled side of the balcony. He noticed Mary Jane hanging on for her life on the crumbling piece of the balcony that was seven feet away from where it was a few minutes ago. Meanwhile, the Goblin moved the front end of his glider (where the ammunition was shooting from) towards Spidey and attempted to kill him once more. Thankfully, Mary Jane warned the wall crawler about the Goblin’s attempt in time, and Spidey fired a glob of webbing from his wrist that blinded the green villain.

With the Green Goblin blinded, Spider-Man sprung to his feet and punched his right fist into the underbelly of the Goblin’s glider, ripping out some of the wiring that controlled its functions. That bright move caused the Goblin to loose control of his glider, as he whirled uncontrollably away from the wrecked balcony and gave one last comment to Spider-Man.

“We’ll meet again!” He vowed, and (personally) that had to be the corniest line a villain could use on a protagonist.

(Those were my actual thoughts on Green Goblin's line, when I first watched Spider-Man.)

Right after the Goblin disappeared from the scene, Spider-Man turned his focus back on Mary Jane, who had suddenly fallen from the crumbling section of the balcony. Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I watched in terror, as Mary Jane’s body was falling down the side of the building and towards us at an extremely rapid speed, making it impossible for anyone to catch her by hand. But thank goodness there was someone as amazing as Spider-Man, who dived after her and caught her just in time to zip a line from his wrist that connected underneath the wrecked balcony and slowed down their fall.

The feet of Spider-Man and Mary Jane were only a few inches from the ground, just before they were bounced back high into the air by the strong web strand, giving Spidey the opportunity to fire another web strand from his wrist and swing away from the scene, while clutching Mary Jane close to him. All of the spectators, including us, cheered and applauded with a great sense of security, as the Amazing Spider-Man once again saved the day.

“You know? I don’t care what Mr. Jameson thinks about Spider-Man!” Kermit exclaimed. “He is the best superhero that we’ve ever had in this city!”

(Kermit shouldn't have really made that comment, considering that the very first superheroes he met before Spider-Man--who were as green as he was--were the "best superheroes that New York City ever had".)

“He’s the only superhero we’ve ever had in this city.” indicated Gonzo, and I was pleased to know that so many thought of Spider-Man as a truthful, heroic figure.

(Gonzo's comment isn't very legit either, considering the fact that he hadn't met the superheroes Kermit met, and he has yet to have met the X-Men, a crossover that was set after the events of this tale.)

However, I was distraught to know that there were some that thought oppositely, like the police officers that were pounded by the Goblin, saying things like “Spider-Man’s timing is as slow as a snail!” or “Where was he when we were getting our butts kicked?” It isn’t like Spider-Man can save everyone at exactly the same time, like some other heroes; even if he can do things like no human being can, he’s still as human as all of us. Listening to those kinds of silly complaints reminded me of ridiculous guys like J. Jonah Jameson, who couldn’t see the big picture.

“Aw, man!” shouted Lori, with a stunned tone in her voice, and when I faced her to see what was wrong, I noticed how she was holding the lens cap from her camera. “I can’t believe the whole time I was taking photos of the inside of this thing!” I didn’t dare to bust out in laughter at her, because I knew how much those photos matter to our assignment; but it was hilarious that she didn’t even once think about it.

“Have no fear!” Gonzo told Lori. “For I have the best photographs of both Spider-Man and that ‘Green Goblin’ in this little camera of mine!”

“Alright, Gonzo!” exclaimed Fozzie, and he gave Gonzo a hard pat on the back, which forced him to drop his camera. When Gonzo’s camera shattered on the ground and spilled all of the valuable film out of it, we all felt very distressed that those “great photos” that Gonzo had of the whole battle between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin were lost.

“Uh-oh.” uttered Fozzie, and before any of us could’ve panicked, Kermit reminded us of something that made us feel assured.

“Er, t-this is not a problem, gang.” He said. “Peter was with us during the whole thing, and I’m sure that he has all of the photos we need to give to Jonah for the story.” It was a good thing that Kermit reminded us of that, because we were all tremendously worried there for a minute. That’s until Gonzo gazed around at the aftermath of the chaos and realized that Peter was nowhere around.

“Hey…where is Peter anyway?” asked Gonzo, and we all looked around for any sign of the young amateur photographer, but he had completely vanished from Times Square.

“That’s a good question, Gonzo.” I said, and I could not believe that I had gone from being suspicious of Spider-Man to becoming suspicious of Parker, all because he exited the scene as soon as something went wrong. I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but there was something unusual about Peter Parker.

END OF CHAPTER THREE​

Kermit: Hmmm...interesting notes. But who are these superheroes that M.W. says I met before the events of this story? Perhaps the interviewer who'll be replacing the injured Pepe will give us more insight on that. Stay tuned.

 

[The Count]

Well... That certainly was a good chapter. Looking forward to the next interviewer and interviewee.
Oh, and conrats on reaching the 8H mark.

 

[muppetwriter]

Kermit: More marvelous news, everyone! Our new interviewer should be here by the end of the week, and she'll handle all of the interviews with the characters of the secondary franchises in the next story. But for now, let's get back to the first story.

Chapter Four:​

I don’t know if it was luck or faith, but a little twist of something practically saved our jobs that day after the Spidey/Goblin fiasco. Out of all the photos from Gonzo’s camera that ended up being ruined, only one of Spider-Man falling from the Green Goblin’s glider was spared and put on the front page of the Daily Bugle’s next issue. And though Jonah was pleased that we were able to bring him one photo for the paper, he was still in absolute denial, believing Spider-Man and the Goblin put on a show to hide the fact that they were part of the same team.

Peter Parker had shown up to work on the day that the next issue of the Daily Bugle was published, but we didn’t get the opportunity to ask him where he had wandered off to while hundreds of people were rioting in the streets. Who kept us from asking was Jonah, as we spent useless minutes trying to convince him that Spider-Man wasn’t terrorizing the city, but in fact saving it from the Green Goblin. Inevitably, Jonah contradicted our comments and told us to leave his office and get some better photos of Spider-Man and the Green Goblin (he was actually the first person to come up with that name, putting in the Bugle’s next issue).

When we were on our way out of his office, something (or someone) had violently crashed through the large, wide window in his office, knocking both Jonah and his desk to the floor. All of the staff, including us, turned to see what had busted into Jonah’s office, and once we realized that it was the dreaded Green Goblin, some of us (predominantly Fozzie and Gonzo) ducked for cover. The Goblin flew into Jonah’s demolished office on his glider and snatched our “fearless” leader by the neck, complaining about how Jonah desecrated his reputation in the paper and demanding to know who took the pictures of Spider-Man.

(At one point, I'd almost considered having Mike Tarkanian--the editor of the Daily Chronicle from "The Great Muppet Caper"--be the boss of the five reporters instead of J. Jonah Jameson. That idea would've led to Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and Sean competing with Peter Parker throughout the story for good pictures of Spider-Man. The idea was dropped not just to make the connection between Muppets and Marvel stronger, but to make the character study more interesting for readers and fans of both franchises, seeing how Muppets would really react to Marvel Comic characters.)

For a moment, I was afraid that Jonah would give in and tell the Goblin that Gonzo or Peter (who had again disappeared, as soon as the Goblin appeared) were responsible for the Spider-Man photos. But the man surprised me when he lied to the Goblin and told him that he didn’t know who took the photos. And just when it seemed as if Jameson’s life was about to be put to an abrupt end, Spider-Man had appeared at the scene, dangling upside down from a web strand behind the Goblin. Sparing Jonah’s life and letting him go, the Goblin directed his attention to Spider-Man and acted as if he was expecting him to arrive.

“Spider-Man! I knew you two were in this together!” snapped Jameson, and by the time he could’ve said another word, Spidey fired a glob of webbing at his mouth, forcing Jonah to keep it shut.

“Time out, Junior! Let the grownups talk for a minute!” said Spider-Man, and when he focused on Goblin, he suddenly found an excessive amount of sleeping gas sprayed into his face. The gas made Spidey lose his grip on his own web strand and fall fifty feet towards the ground; however, it was the Green Goblin himself who swooped down and caught Spidey, before he could’ve splattered across the pavement. With Kermit, Lori, Fozzie, and Gonzo standing near me, we looked out through the enormous hole that was made in Jonah’s office and saw the Goblin zooming towards East Manhattan, holding an unconscious Spider-Man in his arms.

“I wonder where he’s taking him.” Lori said.

“Only one way to find out.” said Gonzo, just before he did something that neither Kermit, Fozzie, Lori, or me expected him to do. Gonzo dived out of Jonah’s office and fell towards the street corner far below; as a yellow taxicab stopped at a red light, Gonzo had landed directly on the hood of the cab and shouted to the driver, “Follow that goblin!” Pointing towards the sky at the Green Goblin’s glider, which was still noticeable from the ground. The taxi driver must’ve been happy to gratify Gonzo’s request, because he immediately turned his car around and went into the same direction that the Goblin was heading in, with Gonzo still on his hood. The rest of us still could not believe that he went to that extreme, just to get a cab.

(The taxicab driver was in fact Beauregard himself.)

“Lori, I think you should get that Porsche back as soon as possible.” Kermit said.

“Before Gonzo ends up hurting himself?” Lori asked.

“No, before we end up paying for the cab company’s damages.” replied Kermit, while Jameson had finally gotten all of the webbing off his mouth and shouted with great frustration.

“That’s it! That’s the proof we need!!!” He bellowed.

“For what?” Fozzie asked him.

“For the truth that Spider-Man and the Green Goblin are working as a team!” Jonah exclaimed. “You all saw how they busted through my office like that! They almost killed me!”

“But it was only the Goblin that broke-in.” Lori stated.

“The punk forced his partner to do the stunt for him, because he had those high-tech gadgets!” Jonah contradicted. “Open your eyes, people! Spider-Man’s not a hero; he’s a menace!” As Jonah spoke, Mr. Hoffman (Jameson’s naïve assistant) came into the room and listen to what his boss was saying. “Over tons of my employees, including you guys, saw the both of them in this room together and abusing me! Spider-Man even shot one of his…his…”

“Uh, webs, Mr. Jameson?” said Hoffman, and Jonah gave him an annoyed look.

(Interesting movie fact: Mr. Hoffman was played by Ted Raimi--Sam Raimi's real life brother--in the movie. He's in all of Sam's films, including "Darkman" and the "Evil Dead" series, just like Bruce Campbell.)

“Whatever.” He said, before he continued trying to convince Kermit, Fozzie, Lori, and me. “Tomorrow, there will be a new headline: ‘WANTED! CITIZENS CALL FOR WALL-CRAWLER’S ARREST’!”

“They are?” uttered Fozzie, taking Jonah’s words literally, and he picked up the phone to listen for the “person” on the other line. “Hello? Are you calling for the arrest of Spider-Man?” Jonah rolled his eyes, asking himself in his mind, “What was I thinkin’ when I hired these people?”

“Mr. Jameson, you can’t do that.” Kermit said.

“Why not? Not only will it exploit that web-head for the criminal he is, it could put millions in the Bugle’s budget.” said Jonah, and hearing that got Fozzie’s attention, as he moved the phone away from his ear and looked at Jonah.

“Millions?!” He exclaimed, turning to Kermit. “Oh, Kermit! We might finally get the big raise that we always wanted!”

“Fozzie, everyone here will go home happy with a big paycheck,” I said, “But Spider-Man will be known as public enemy number one!”

“Was so bad about becoming a rapper?” asked Fozzie, and at first, I didn’t quite get what he meant by that…and I still don’t. But, hey, what can ya say? It’s Fozzie!

(Fozzie's joke was actually a reference to the rap group, Public Enemy, which featured most popular member, Flavor Flav.)

“No!” shouted Lori, demandingly, and she stared coldly into J. Jonah Jameson’s eyes. “Sir, you’re not gonna print that story into tomorrow’s issue of the Bugle!” Kermit, Fozzie, and I were taken aback by the controlling attitude that my sister suddenly gained; of course, Jonah didn’t let it scare him.

“And who’s gonna stop me, Lori? You?!” Jonah asked. “You know I could fire your hide, just for threatening me like that!”

“That’s not a threat, Mr. Jameson,” Lori said, “It’s a promise!”

“A promise?” said Jonah, a little puzzled.

“Yeah! A promise!” Lori told him. “I promise you that I will find evidence that Spider-Man is a great hero and not the phony that you think he is!” Jonah just chuckled at the “promise” that Lori made for him, thinking that the woman must be insane.

“You won’t be able to keep that ‘promise’, because in the next second…you won’t even have a job.” remarked Jonah, and I knew exactly what he meant by that, even before he stopped laughing and said straight to her face, “Miss Thomas, get your stuff together…YOU’RE FIRED!!!!!”

It was almost as if a lightning bolt had struck Kermit, Fozzie, and me, because we never thought we would see the day when J. Jonah Jameson fired my sister, Lori Thomas. However, I had always suspected that Lori’s own competitiveness would get her into trouble one day. As soon as I saw her step up to Jonah like she did, I knew that it wasn’t about proving Spider-Man was innocent anymore; it was some kind of contest to see who got the better story, and there was no chance of Lori winning.

Without saying another word, she walked away from Jonah and made her way out of his office, passing by a truly surprised Hoffman. Immediately, Kermit, Fozzie, and I dashed out of the office and chased after Lori, who didn’t even bother gathering her desk belongings and instead went straight to the elevator. While she was waiting for it to open, we tried to talk her out of leaving without her job.

“You can’t go, sis!” I said. “You’ve been here for too long just to let Jameson fire you like that.”

“He’s right, Lori.” Kermit said. “You’ve gotta think about how the city of New York’s gonna react, when they see that headline on tomorrow’s paper.” Lori gave us a sympathetic look, not showing any signs of crying whatsoever; that’s how tough my sister is!

“Look, guys, I’m not gonna be canned permanently.” Lori assured. “Once I find the perfect evidence to show that Spider-Man isn’t a criminal, Jameson will just be begging me to come back to work for him.”

“How certain are you about that?” I asked, and she gave me a look that told me right off that she wasn’t. It was then that I knew she was just bluffing Jameson, and she had no idea where she was going to find the proof. “You’re getting yourself into hot water here, Lori.” She knew that I was on to her and seemed really distressed by that, looking down towards the floor and feeling sheepish. “You’re not the only person who thinks Jameson is an idiot.”

“That’s right.” Kermit told Lori. “Heck, I’ll be here all day, if I told you half the things that the staff have said about Jameson, as well as about each other.” Hearing that made Fozzie a little paranoid of the staff members’ thoughts.

“D-Do they say anything about my jokes?” He asked Kermit, who just stared at him for a moment and spoke to Lori again.

“All day long! I’m tellin’ ya!” said Kermit, leaving Fozzie still feeling paranoid.

“Listen, I know it’s a long shot, but I will find a way to show New York that Spider-Man is saving this city…even if means getting closer to the action.” said Lori, and by the time I could have asked what she meant, the elevator opened up and Lori stepped into it. The doors closed and Lori was gone from that section of the building, leaving Kermit, Fozzie, and me wondering what kind of measures would she go to get the evidence.

(Fragments of the Lori Thomas character are actually based on myself personally, from her competitive attitude to her fiery temper.)

“You don’t suppose she’d get close to fight alongside Spider-Man, do ya?” asked Fozzie, and Kermit & I looked to each other, both of us wishing that we could give Fozzie a reasonable answer. All of the sudden, the elevator doors opened again and Lori stuck her head out from it; she came back to mention one more thing to us.

“Oh, by the way, in case you all are wondering if I’m gonna do something totally insane, I’ll be at the Happiness Hotel.” said Lori, and she stuck her head back in the elevator, just before it closed and then took her down to the first floor. Despite the fact that she assured us that she wasn’t going to do anything yet, we still couldn’t help but to feel a little insecure about the whole thing.

Later that evening, when our shift was done, Kermit, Fozzie, and I went back to our wild, raggedy home at the Happiness Hotel, where our fellow roommates were getting into the spirit of Thanksgiving (which was the following day). The only four people that weren’t in the spirit of things were Kermit, Fozzie, Lori, and me, after the quarrel that took place in the Daily Bugle headquarters. We had yet to see Gonzo arrive back at the Hotel and wondered if he pursuing the story in a drastic way.

(Thanksgiving and Spider-Man have a lot in common, considering there has been a float of Spidey in almost every Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and both "Spider-Man" and "Spider-Man 2" premiered for the first night on television on the FOX Network.)

Since Lori came to the Happiness Hotel that evening, she had been locked up in her room for countless hours, with a worn-out “Do Not Disturb” sign hanging over the doorknob; it was evident that she was spending her time in there to ponder over how she was going to prove Spider-Man’s innocence. While she was doing that, I was in a room that belonged to Kermit and was located four floors above Lori’s; it was where we talked about getting Lori’s job back.

(In the "MARVELOUS" universe, the Happiness Hotel is twice as big as it was in "The Great Muppet Caper". It's the oldest and most raggedy amongst the fresh, new, glistening buildings around it.)

“We have to convince Mr. Jameson that Lori is on his side.” suggested Kermit, and Fozzie was a little confused.

“But I thought she was against him for trying to exploit Spider-Man as a crook.” said Fozzie, and I figured he was going to say that.

“She is, Fozzie.” I said. “We just have to play some ‘Mind Games’ with Jonah to get him to bring her back.” And I knew that Fozzie still wasn’t catching on, just the way he was staring at me with his mouth shut and not moving an inch. So, I just came out and simply said, “We’re gonna come up with one huge lie.” And he finally caught our drift, seeming really surprised and happy.

“Aaah! Clever!” He exclaimed. “Honestly, you guys are such masterminds that maybe the two of you should be super villains!” Kermit and I couldn’t believe how much of a big deal Fozzie was making out of this little plan of ours.

“Fozzie, it’s not like we’re breaking into Fort Knox here.” stated Kermit, and Fozzie raised his paws up in protest.

“Hey, hey! Let’s take these things one step at a time now.” said Fozzie, and Kermit & I were just about exhausted with Fozzie, though we knew that he’d known better.

(I'd never anticipated on Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and Seen becoming so much of a marvelous team, and from the way I set them up, they--in a way--resemble the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Kermit is like the wise leader--Leonardo, Fozzie is the fun-loving joker and Gonzo as the wild, weird one--Michaelangelo, Sean is sort of like the intelligent one--Donatello, and then you have Lori as the hotheaded, careless one--Raphael.)

Our meeting was interrupted for a moment, as there was hard, rapid knocking at the door; when I walked over to open it, we were more than surprised to find Gonzo standing at the doorway. Before Kermit, Fozzie, or I could ask him a question, Gonzo busted out with an extraordinary surge of excitement, running into the room and jumping up on Kermit’s bed, where he sat and gave us the 411 on Spider-Man and the Green Goblin.

“I was hiding in a nearby pigeon coop as they were talking on the rooftop of a building a couple of blocks from this one.” Gonzo said. “It turns out we were right about Spider-Man the whole time. The Goblin was so impressed by Spidey’s skills that he offered him a chance to join forces, just so he could have someone to terrorize the city with.”

“And Spider-Man declined?” I inquired.

“You bet he did.” replied Gonzo, and I couldn’t have been happier to hear that news.

“This is just the proof we need to convince Jonah!” I exclaimed, but I may’ve been counting my chickens before they’ve hatched (no pun intended towards Gonzo, of course), because then he said…

“The only problem is that I didn’t have a camera to capture any photos of the two.” indicated Gonzo, and I remembered that his camera was shattered on the day before at the World Unity Festival.

“Oh, yeah…I forgot.” said Fozzie, sadly.

“And unless we had taped the whole conversation with a recorder, there’s no way to prove that Spider-Man turned down the Goblin’s offer.” said Kermit, and that’s when we found ourselves helpless in a tight situation. However, there still was the master plan that Lori was cooking up; but I continued to fear that she would get herself in a situation that not even Spider-Man will be able to get her out of.

END OF CHAPTER FOUR​

Kermit: Us as the Turtles? Now there's a marvelous thought! Stay tuned for more.

 

[muppetwriter]

DID YOU KNOW....​

Inspiration for "The MARVELOUS Muppets" came not just from the comics that Marvel released during the 80s for Fraggle Rock, Muppet Babies, and The Muppets Take Manhattan, but also from the Muppet Babies episode, "Comic Book Capers", in which Rowlf and Skeeter were two different versions of Spider-Man (who they encountered in the comic) and a cameo by Stan Lee was featured.


So now you know.

 

[muppetwriter]

Kermit: Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here with another marvelous guest who's here to be interviewed about the upcoming story. It's the funny...the fabulous...the fuzzy...Fozzie Bear!!!

(Fozzie's theme music plays as he appears on the set.)

Fozzie: Wocka! Wocka! Wocka! It's good to be here on Muppet Central! I just got back from the other Muppet forum and, boy, are my arms tired!!

(Silence.)

Fozzie: Uh...*gulps*...wow. Tough crowd.

Kermit: Uh, sorry, Fozzie. We don't have a laugh track.

Fozzie: That's okay. As long as Statler and Waldorf aren't here to heckle me, this interview'll be a piece of pie.

Kermit: Uh...that's "cake".

Fozzie: Don't mind if I do! *takes out cake and hits himself in the face* Ahh! Wocka! Wocka! *sprays the cake residue off his face with a bottle of water*

Kermit:*shakes head* Sheesh. *clears his throat* So, Fozzie, how's it feel being part of the Spider-Man mythology?

Fozzie: Well, I owe a lot of thanks to the muppetwriter for thinking up such an idea for a fanfic series. I mean, who would've thought the Muppets would team up with a marvelous guy like Spidey!

Kermit: Yeah, crazy, isn't it?

Fozzie: Hey, crazy is what we do.

Kermit: More like what we are.

Fozzie: Ahh! Good one!

Kermit: So what was the greatest thing about working on the first story, which fans are reading at this moment?

Fozzie: Well, I wish I can say it was the action, but there sure were a lot of violent moments in our story.

The Goblin laid his first punch, which Peter was successful in blocking, but the Goblin caught him with one to his gut. A hard punch from the Goblin was about to come in contact with Peter’s face, until the youth ducked in time to leave the Goblin hitting nothing but a stone pillar, taking a huge chunk out of it.

The Goblin kneed Peter hard in the face, and then he laid one of the most devastating punches across Peter’s face, which swung the kid’s head to the left and made a string of saliva fly out of his mouth. After that, the Goblin unleashed one powerful uppercut, sending Peter falling backwards across the air and landing hard on the ground, a few feet from where the Goblin was standing. This whole fight was like something out of a kickboxing match!

As the battered Peter got back to his feet, the Goblin somersaulted over the air and landed in front of him, bringing another hard punch across Peter’s face. I knew that one punch was even nastier than the other one, because when Peter’s head swung to the left again, his jaw swung even further and almost seemed to disconnect from his head! It was such a gruesome display! A kick to the face sent him falling back down again.

But the Green Goblin wasn’t finished with him yet; he let out a fierce scream, as he attempted to kick Peter’s butt some more. That’s when Peter shook the cobwebs out of his head and fired a glob of webbing from his wrist at the Goblin, who knew that it was coming for his eyes again and caught it with his right arm. While the Goblin was shaking the webbing off his arm, Peter fired a web strand and tried to swing over his adversary; but he found himself knocked back to the ground again, when the Goblin leaped high into the air and kicked him down. There were more devastating kicks and punches from the Goblin to Peter, while certain parts of the area were demolished in result of their battle.

Fozzie:*shivers* I still cringe every time I read the description of that horrible battle.

Kermit: I know exactly how you feel. But other than that, what was your favorite scene out of the first story?

Fozzie: Probably that wrestling match at the beginning. That was a fun moment to be a part of.

Bone Saw attempted to fall back and crush Spider-Man under him, but the web-head was too quick for that. He stretched out his wrist and shot a real web straight above him to the bars at the top of the cage, which had to be twenty-feet up. The web stuck there at the top, and when Bone Saw dropped to the canvas, he was alone.

Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo were again surprised by the amateur wrestler’s moves, but they couldn’t have been more impressed than Lori and I was. I’ve watched wrestlers do some great things in the ring, every time I cut on the television at nine o’clock in the evening; but never have I seen someone like Spider-Man do any of what he did in that ring.

“This guy isn’t a wrestler!” snapped Lori, angrily. “He’s some kind of freak of nature!” I could tell my sister was only angry because of the money that she was gonna have to give me, if Spidey won the match.

“Maybe he’s an alien.” assumed Gonzo, just as Lori gave him a dirty look that Gonzo soon noticed. “Hey, I’m not saying he’s the type that shoots himself out of a cannon, okay?”

Back in the ring, Bone Saw lied on the mat and blinked puzzlingly, the wind completely knocked out of him. Directly above him he noticed Spider-Man, dangling upside-down from his web. Bone Saw screamed in anger and leaped to his feet, while Spidey flipped over and climbed up his web strand, until he was twenty feet above it all.

“What kind of wrestler creates real spider webs?” I asked, but because of the roaring crowd behind us, neither Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, nor Lori heard my question. Of course, it didn’t really matter if they heard it or not, since no one could really answer such a complex question like that.

Soon Spidey let go of his webbing, dropping twenty feet straight down, and he landed right on top of Bone Saw, who dropped to the canvas beneath him, pinned. The crowd was freaking out and the flashbulbs from several cameras, including the one Gonzo brought, were popping, as the referee counted from one to three and declared Spider-Man as the winner. The once amateur wrestler that had turned into an larger-than-life figure in just two minutes had gained the respect from the raucous crowd; he raised his arms triumphantly.

Fozzie: That honey-flavored Dr. Pepper was the best part of that scene.

Kermit: Fozzie, there is no honey-flavored Dr. Pepper. It was just a prop. A prop filled with regular Dr. Pepper.

Fozzie: I knew it tasted kind of funny.

Kermit:*sighs* Moving on. What about the second story? You were featured in quite an emotional scene between Peter and Mary Jane. How was that for ya?

Fozzie: Oh, wow. There sure was a lot of drama in that second story. Mostly between you and Piggy, and that love triangle you two went through with Mickey Mouse. *gets sad* Oh, Kermit. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must've been horrible for you.

Kermit: Fozzie, Fozzie, Fozzie! It was just a story. I'm fine. Mickey and I are very good friends in real life, and Piggy....well....Piggy's just Piggy.

Fozzie: Oh, good. *wipes sweat from forehead* I was worried for a second.

Kermit: Fozzie, you haven't answered the question yet. What was it like being there in that scene with Peter and Mary Jane?

“Hey, why don’t we stop by the diner and get some dinner?” Jenny suggested.

“Now there’s a great idea!” Fozzie exclaimed. “I haven’t had a honey and bologna sandwich in a long time!”

“Yeah, and I can’t wait to try out Pete’s new Lily Pad Pie.” Robin said, while Peter was getting excited himself, just thinking of the idea of him and Mary Jane at Pete’s, catching up on old times.

“Maybe I can just treat you all to pizza…your choice.” Peter offered, and Mary Jane knew exactly what he and his friends were trying to do.

“I’m getting married, Peter.” She said, and they all seemed very disappointed over Mary Jane’s refusal, bringing them all back to reality in a hard way. “You think just because you and your pals saw my play, you can butter me out of getting married?”

“We weren’t…” Jenny said, and Peter stopped her, allowing him to defend himself.

“You once told me that you loved me.” Peter told Mary Jane. “I once let things get in the way, because there was something I thought I had to do, but I don’t have to.”

“You’re too late.” Mary Jane said, much to her disappointment.

“Will you at least think about it?” Peter asked, unknowingly angering her by asking her such a question.

“Think about what? Picking up where we left off? I’ve got news for ya, tiger. We never got on! You can’t get off, if you never got on, Peter.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Of course you don’t, because you complicate things.” Watching the two argue was very hard for Jenny, Fozzie, and Robin to watch, which was why Jenny had to step in.

“You don’t realize how different Peter is now, Mary Jane.” She said. “If you punch him, he’ll bleed just like a normal person would. You have to understand how important second chances are.” Mary Jane just looked at Jenny and then at Peter, thinking of the moments the two probably shared behind her back. And she wondered if the reason Peter wasn’t seeing her as often as he had before was because of Jenny, the “new love” of his life.

“I have to go.” She said, not wanting to let her emotions and beliefs get the best of her, as she went over to a halted taxicab and opened the rear passenger door. Before she hopped in, she had taken one last look at Peter and Jenny, paranoid thoughts still running through her mind. “It’s not just you who’s different, Peter. Everything else is, too.” And with that said, leaving Peter, Jenny, and even Fozzie and Robin confused, she went into the taxicab and left.

“Uh, I hate to bring this up at a bad time, but…are we still getting those pizzas?” Fozzie asked. “I’ll take mine with honey.”

“You know what I’ll take mine with,” uttered a muffled Rizzo, from inside Jenny’s purse.

Kermit: You sure do think about food a lot in your scenes.

Fozzie: Well, we never break for lunch while doing them. Like in that scene, all I had on my mind at the time was food. Hopefully none of these fans will see the bloopers from that story. I don't think I'll show my face in public again.

Kermit: Well, considering the fact that no one can see your face now, you've got nothing to worry about. *turns to audience* We'll continue our interview with Fozzie later, as we ask him more about the crossovers, including the upcoming third one. Stay tuned.

 

[muppetwriter]

Kermit: While we wait 'til our interview with Fozzie continues, check out this next chapter of the first story, with more great side notes by M.W.

Chapter Five:​

Thanksgiving was anything but thankful that day, as Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and I were still disturbed over the scene we witnessed of Lori’s release from the Daily Bugle on the previous day. She was still locked up in her room, coming up with a perfect (and hopefully safe) way to prove to Jonah that Spider-Man was not a criminal. After sixteen hours, I was beginning to get curious as to what my sister might’ve been planning, because she hardly made a sound from her room.

I had Rizzo the Rat (one of Gonzo’s very best friends) crawl through a tiny rat hole in Lori’s apartment, but it turned out that there was some kind of cybernetic rat-catching cat (which Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker had to build for her, when some of Rizzo’s friends were sneaking into her apartment) there to drive annoying pests, such as Rizzo, out of the room. I don’t think Rizzo would’ve dared to go back into Lori’s room, after his frightening encounter.

(Though it was never mentioned why in the story, Rizzo's friends snuck into Lori's apartment because the "dirty rats" had a huge crush on her. I refrained from going into detail about that, because I already jumped the gun with the reference to "The Thong Song" in the next part, which is one of the reasons why this story is considered "PG-13" material.)

After my first failed attempt, I then had Clifford romance Lori with his hip personality and his own version of “The Thong Song,” which he creatively called “The PONG Song,” comparing his love for Lori to the small dot in the actual PONG game that bounced off the two bars by saying that it’s “hard to keep inside.” While he was doing that, Pepe the Prawn was outside Lori’s apartment, lowering himself (via a crude pulley system developed by Rizzo and Gonzo) down to her bedroom window and attempting to inspect through her apartment for materials that would give us hints about her master plan.

Unfortunately, because of the poor construction of the pulley system, Pepe never even got the chance to sneak into Lori’s apartment. The system had fallen apart before Pepe got the window halfway open, causing him to fall fifty feet down the side of the building and right into piles of smelly, week-old trash gathered in a slimy dumpster. That was soon before a garbage truck aligned and inserted its large prongs into the slots on the dumpster, flipping it upside-down and emptying Pepe and all of the trash into its storage compartment. A few hours later, we found Pepe at the city dump, lying in a pile of half-eaten seafood meals; the poor guy was traumatized for nearly a month by the experience.

“The horror…THE HORROR!!!!” He cried.

(This was, of course, before I started working on the F4/Muppets crossover, in which I had plenty of practice with Pepe's dialogue. So, instead of "The horror", in Pepe's dialogue it should be "De horror".)

After Pepe’s incident, I gave up using my friends as spies, before I ended up putting any of them in serious danger. I don’t know what Lori had up her sleeve, but it was obvious that I was never going to find out about it, until after it had been done. So Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and I just tried to enjoy our Thanksgiving Day the best way we could; but not even thinking about a big, delicious turkey could brighten our spirits.

The Muppets and I had our Thanksgiving dinner that evening, gathering at a long, nicely decorated table inside the Happiness Hotel’s “Chow Room” (which, in actuality, was the basement). Everyone from Lew Zealand to Crazy Harry to Camilla (Gonzo’s beloved chicken girlfriend) was joined at the table, which had great side-dishes sitting across it. Kermit was sitting at one end of the table, while the fabulous Miss Piggy was sitting on the other. The only person missing from the table was Lori, who was still locked up quietly in her room.

(The "Chow Room" wasn't mentioned in "The Great Muppet Caper", because it was a room that I made up exclusively for this story. It is usually where the Happiness Hotel residents have their big holiday feasts. For the occassional breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the residents eat in their own rooms.)

“TURKEY! TURKEY!” shouted Animal, who was pounding his hands against the table impatiently, while Sgt. Floyd Pepper desperately tried to calm him down.

“We’d better bring that bird in, before Animal eats the table!” He exclaimed, and it wasn’t long before the Swedish Chef came into the room with the cooked turkey sitting on a plate, speaking in his unusual Swedish dialect (which no one will understand in a million years). After the Swedish Chef set the turkey down on the table, Kermit stood up from his end of the table to give a speech; I could tell that he was still bothered over Lori, because the tone of his voice was just depressing.

“I…I’d like to thank everyone for taking the time to come have Thanksgiving dinner here in the…uh…basement.” Kermit said.

“You mean the ‘Chow Room’!” Dr. Teeth corrected him.

“He had it right the first time, gold-mouth!” snapped Piggy, obviously angered by the fact that she had to spend Thanksgiving in such a foul area. “Why don’t you monkeys work-up a banquet room or someplace more suitable for a respectable feast?!”

“Because the monkeys own half of the rooms in the building.” said Pops (the landlord), and everyone, except for Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Piggy, and me, laughed heartily at Pops’ remark. The reason Piggy wasn’t laughing was because she was taking the whole dinner seriously; but Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and I were just too distraught to laugh. After the laughter subsided, Kermit continued on with his speech.

“Uh, yeah…it’s good for all us friends to be here on this Thanksgiving event.” said Kermit, and the others couldn’t help but to notice how depressed the frog was.

“Hey, Kermit, you’re looking so blue that you’re practically turning turquoise.” Rowlf stated.

(Being the shade of green that Kermit is, it's a common fact that he would turn turquoise instead of blue.)

“It’s Thanksgiving. The time to be thankful that you’re alive, thankful that you’ve got a home to come to, and thankful that you’ve got friends to be with, whenever you’re feelin’ down.” When Rowlf mentioned about friends, Kermit fell deeper into his gloominess than Gonzo, Fozzie, or I did.

“Yeah…friends…” uttered Kermit, as he fell back into his seat and looked down at the ground, making everyone else wonder what was causing him to feel so low. To break the utter silence that had come into the room, I stood up from my seat (which was between Gonzo and Fozzie) and took Kermit’s place as speaker.

“Uh, I think it’s about time I said grace.” I stated, and everyone, including myself, bowed their heads respectively, as I said a word of prayer, “Lord, we thank thee for giving us the opportunity to be here together in the…Chow Room…” I heard Dr. Teeth snicker a bit when I uttered the name of the room, “And we also give thanks for allowing us to have a home where we all can be together forever, through thick and thin, no matter what.” Just the way I was expressing my words made me feel much more worried about Lori than I was for the past twenty-four hours. Before I was at the peak of despair myself, I brought my prayer to an abrupt end, “In the name of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ…Amen.”

“Amen.” The others said, and as I sat back down, I saw how Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie were staring at me, knowing that if there was anyone who was more distraught than they were, it had to be me. The three of them looked away from me and back at the food simultaneously, and I did the same afterwards, while the Swedish Chef was muttering something in his native tongue. We all assumed that he was ready to carve the turkey, because he was holding up two large knives.

“Alright! Let’s live up to this room’s name and chow down!” shouted Rizzo, gleefully.

“Yeah!” yelled the others, and they were about to grab whatever they felt like munching down on, until there was a sudden loud booming sound that came from somewhere upstairs. The room shook a little, with grains of old dirt and brown dust falling from the ceiling and spreading all over good food.

“What the heck?” uttered Kermit, as we all looked up at the ceiling and wondered what was happening in the Hotel.

“Those monkeys must have ‘Jungle Fever’.” Waldorf assumed.

“If I wanted to hear that much action, I’d watch the Discovery Channel.” Statler said.

“You old fool! Any action on the Playboy Channel is a thousand times better than the Discovery Channel.” Waldorf said.

“Can’t argue with you there.” remarked Statler, and the two old hecklers laughed, but they abruptly stopped when a rocketing noise was heard afterwards. It was then that we all wondered if it may’ve been the Green Goblin that was causing all of the commotion upstairs.

(Statler and Waldorf's short conversation was another moment that I took a gamble on, because I wasn't exactly certain how far I should go for Muppet standards.)

“You don’t think it’s him, do you?” Fozzie inquired.

“I wouldn’t be surprised, since it was me that was listening in on their conversation.” Gonzo indicated.

“But I thought you said that you didn’t take any photos?” Kermit queried.

“I didn’t.” Gonzo contradicted. “All I did was listen.”

“Then he must’ve been after a different photographer.” Kermit said. “And the only other photographer here is…” Before Kermit could’ve finished, we all realized that the only reason the Green Goblin would show up at the Happiness Hotel was because of Lori.

“My god!” I muttered, just before I jumped from the table and headed out of the basement. I took the elevator up through several floors in the building, until I finally reached the one where Lori’s room was located.

(This should be considered a goof, considering that the Happiness Hotel isn't very well known for having anything to work inside the building, let alone an elevator.)

As soon as I came out of the elevator, I dashed quickly over to her door and knocked on it hastily; my mind was racing with several thoughts of what might’ve happened in there. “Lori! Are you alright?” When she didn’t respond, I became more alarmed than ever. “Lori! Open the door!” While I was trying to get my sister to respond by banging on the door, Kermit had arrived at the scene, with Gonzo, Fozzie, and Rizzo following him.

Once I gave up trying to get a response from Lori, I decided to just kick down the door with all of my might; after I accomplished that, what Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Rizzo, and I saw next had confirmed our worst fears. Lori’s entire room had been completely wiped out; the walls, floors, furniture, and everything else were gone, leaving nothing but a view of the night skyline. The corners of the doorway that I was standing in were engulfed in flames, symbolizing the Goblin’s damages.

“Whoa!” Rizzo exclaimed. “I think Robo-Kitty took his job a little too far.” That’s when Scooter had shown up next to us, and when he saw what happened to what was once Lori’s apartment, he was beyond shocked.

“Oh, my gosh!” Scooter shouted. “Who did this?!”

“Do the words ‘Green’ and ‘Goblin’ answer your question there?” Rizzo replied.

“The Green Goblin?” Scooter uttered. “Well that explains why he’s calling right now.” I looked over at Scooter with a startled look, at the same time he looked up at me. “And he’s wanting to talk to you, Sean.” My worries were continuing to increase, as I asked several questions in my mind that regarded to the Goblin’s sudden call. I gazed at Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, and Rizzo, who were equally as worried as I was at that moment; I then headed down to the lobby to talk with the Goblin himself through the phone. Once I got there, I mustered all of the courage I had in me and let the words come out of my mouth and into the receiver.

“This is Sean Thomas speaking.” I said, and the sound of the Goblin’s wicked voice through the phone sent chills down my spine.

“You journalists at the Daily Bugle think you’re on top of the world, just because you have photos of Spider-Man!” The Goblin stated. “Well, how does it feel now that I’ve got one of own kind with me?” I swallowed hard, feeling as nervous as I was when I came face-to-face with the Goblin at the World Unity Festival, and I attempted to negotiate with him for the sake of Lori.

“Listen,” I told him, “I realize that you are angered by what the papers have been saying about you, but you must understand that neither Miss Thomas or anyone else on the staff meant to desecrate your name in any way whatsoever.”

“I’m not mad that you people made me look like a terrorist.” The Goblin remarked. “I’m actually flattered by it.” I was somewhat relieved to hear him say that, knowing there might’ve been a chance for Lori after all; but that’s until he stated, “It’s how you’re trying to frame Spider-Man that just ticks me off to the point where I just feel like killing someone!” The relief in me had abruptly disappeared, as I was once again desperately negotiating for Lori’s life.

“Please.” I said. “You can’t kill her.”

“And why not?” He asked, with a bit of tension in his voice.

“Because she’s no longer part of the Bugle staff.” I rejoined, not sure if it would convince him any. “She lost it trying to get our boss, Jonah Jameson, to understand that Spider-Man is not a criminal. If you kill her, then you’d be murdering someone that is on your side.” I heard the Goblin’s wicked cackle come through the receiver, and I knew that my excuses weren’t good enough for the monster.

“Do you really think I care whether Spider-Man’s innocent or not?” He said, which confused me a little.

“B-But just a second ago…” The tone in the Goblin’s voice had suddenly changed from calm to hostile, as he immediately cut me off.

“He refused! I gave him the opportunity of a lifetime to run this city at my side, and what does he do? He spits in my face!” He bellowed, and what he said next really boggled my mind, “Well, it just so happens that we know his secret now, and we will destroy him by striking his heart! First…it was his greatest supporter…second…it was his family…and soon…it will be his love!” And by the time I opened my mouth to ask him a question, I heard a dial tone over the receiver, meaning that the Goblin had hung up and left me quivering over the thought that my sister might’ve been either alive or dead.

(Before "The MARVELOUS Muppets", I've been known to include suspenseful moments in my stories, such as this one. I try to use a method of intrigue to encourage readers to look forward to the next chapter or--in the case of an epilogue--excitedly await the next story.)

END OF CHAPTER FIVE​

Kermit: Up next...the final chapter of the first Spidey/Muppets crossover and more from our interview with Fozzie Bear. Stay tuned.