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The Time the Muppets Beat Time

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Jan 7, 2006.

  1. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    Uh Ryan, maybe you'd better not. They don't..didn't have computers in 1775, and we would like to see more of this story sometime...
    Thank goodness you both live in the same state! Could you immagine how dificult it would be if there woes a time difference?
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  2. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Chapter 3

    Scooter walked down the deserted sidewalk on his way to the theater. When all of the sudden, his cell phone began vibrating, causing him to jump almost a foot off the ground. He pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open. "Hello, Muppet Theater's resident gofer speaking!" he answered.

    "Hey Scoot!" the familiar voice on the phone said. "How's the theater?"

    "Hey Skeeter, great to talk to you again sis," the gofer told his twin over the phone. "As far as I know, the theater's fine, but I haven't been there today yet, and Bunsen was saying something about a new invent-" Skeeter cut him off.

    "Wait, Scoot, hang on, I got another call!" she said. She hit a button on her phone. "Hello?"

    "Hey, hey, baby," Clifford said into his cell phone. "Just thought I'd give you a ring see how you're doing," he told Skeeter as he too approached the theater, but from a different direciton.

    "Hi Cliffy!" Skeeter said excitedly. "I'm good, Babe, how are you?"

    "Pretty good, pretty good, so whatcha up to?" he asked, waving to a woman polishing an old grandfather clock inside Beth's Clock Shop.

    "Oh, you know, the same old stuff," Skeeter said. "I got first place in that competition yesterday."

    "Cool doll face," Clifford looked at his watch, not paying attention to what was in front of him. "Anyway, when do you think you'll be back in town?"

    "C'mon, Skeet," Scooter mumbled to himself as he approached the theater and inspected the sign for burnt out bulbs. "Who is she talking to that's taking so long?" He spotted a dead bulb and shook his head. "I'll have to get Clifford on that when he gets-" Scooter began to say before he was cut off by Clifford, who had ran right into him.

    Both cell phones clattered to the ground. Clifford quickly grabbed one. "You still there, Baby?" he said.

    Scooter frowned at Clifford. "I don't even wanna know," he picked up the remaining cell phone. "I mean it sounds like your talking about some girl," Scooter said, but unwillingly into the phone. "I mean, I thought you were dating Skeeter, you're not cheating on her are you?"

    "What?" Skeeter asked in his ear. "Is that you, Scoot? What are you doing on Cliffy's phone? ...Oh, I left you on hold! I'm sorry! Here, I'll switch back..."

    "No don't!" Scooter shouted into the phone.

    "Of course I'm not cheating on her man!" Clifford said to Scooter. "Skeet's the highlight of my days!" he thought for a minute. "Well, I did have a nice dinner with that Effralyo girl from Russia the other night," he said into the phone that Skeeter had switched to.

    Scooter smacked his head and plugged his ears, preparing for what was to come.

    "You WHAT?" Skeeter shouted into his ear. "CLIFFORD! You-" She hung up, furious.

    ??????????????????​

    Kermit rubbed his head as he sat up. He knew he was in a different time period, and he knew that after all this, he'd have one heck of a headache. He looked around and noticed Fozzie peeking over a small dirt mound in front of him. "Fozzie, I suppose you have no idea where we are do you?" he asked his best friend.

    Rowlf rolled over. "Probably about the time his jokes were first written," he said, trying to ignore his own headache.

    Rizzo climbed up on Rowlf's chest, "I don't care WHEN we are, just as long as we get some food!" he shouted.

    "General Beauregard!" a running man shouted in the distance. "General Beauregard, sir!"

    Beauregard shot up next to Kermit. "Hark," the dim-witted janitor said. "I think I hear the call of a fan!" he hoisted himself up and ran up to the man. "You called, o' adoring fan of mine?"

    The man ran over and stood at attention, saluting the janitor. "General Beauregard, sir!" he said. "The Union troops are coming, sir, headed straight for Fort Sumter, just like Lincoln said they would. What do you wanna do, sir? You wanna attack? They're on Confederate soil." He spat on the ground. "Dumb Yanks just don't get that we seceded from 'em."

    Beauregard focussed on the spit on the ground. "Should I mop that up?" he asked the soldier.

    "What?" the soldier asked. "No, sir! Just give us an order! Do you wanna attack the dumb Yanks or not?"

    The janitor scratched his head, "You know I think I have a nice dish cloth in my back pocket that can clean that right up!" Beauregard said concerning the spit on the ground.

    "Sir, fergit the spit!" the soldier said. "If it bothers y'that much, have a slave take care of it. Just give the troops an order, sir!"

    Kermit gasped, he hopped up and walked over to the soldier, "Now wait just a second here! You're saying your'e fighting to keep slaves?"

    "Absolutely, sir!" the soldier said. "How else is the economy s'posed to work? We need slaves. Why if we paid those dirt bags we'd either lose our whole profit to 'em or we'd have to triple our prices, and then we'd lose all our business! This is the South, sir, and King Cotton rules here." He eyed the frog suspiciously. "You ain't one of them Radical Republicans, are ya?"

    "Well," Kermit said, "I'm actually in the green party, but things sure are gonna get radical!" he said. "Slavery is wrong! I mean look at all of us! We're frogs, and dogs, and bears, and chickens and things! We're all different, but we don't treat each other badly one way or the other!"

    But before the soldier had a chance to reply, a loud cannon fire was heard behind them. They turned around and saw Beau, who had fallen over in the ground after lighting the cannon. "Oh," he rubbed his head. "I think I just fired the shot heard 'round the world," he moaned.

    Robin grabbed onto Kermit's hand. "But that was the start of the revolution," he said to Beauregard. "Didn't you ever see School House Rock?"

    Beauregard ignored the young frog and stood up. "Alright, soldier!" he said. "Sideways, March! ...Or is it May?" But the soldier had already charged.

    Uncle Deadly appeared in front of Kermit out of the shadows. "Please! I have no time for these shinanigans!" he shouted. "Kermit, I suppose you don't know what happens to a spirit who leaves the site of his death?" the phantom asked the frog.

    Kermit stared at the phantom. "Um... no, Uncle Deadly, I don't," he said.

    Uncle Deadly sighed, "It figures, it's not as though you have died before," he said. "But, I shall explain nonetheless, you see, wherever a person dies, or is relocated to after their death, it becomes the permanent home in their afterlife. And there are very specific rules that must be followed concerning death."

    Kermit nodded and looked around to realize he and Robin were the only ones listening to the phantom. Pepe and Rizzo were playing cards, the band was tuning up, Gonzo was standing on his head with a pinecone balanced on his feet, and Miss Piggy was standing several feet away and flirting with a rather attractive soldier. He scrunched his face up at her. "Piggy!"

    Uncle Deadly waved his arms, "Forget about the kosher bacon!" he shouted. "Back to the rules!"

    Miss Piggy turned her head. "The WHAT?" she said. She smiled at the soldier. "Please excuse moi, dear," she said. Then she ran over to the phantom, furious. "WHAT did you call me?"

    "Uh not now, Piggy," Kermit said as he stood between her and Uncle Deadly. "I'm sorry Deadly, you were saying, um, the rules, very specific rules concerning death..."

    The phantom glared at the pig, "Yes, very specific rules, first of all, the dead cannot have any contact with the living, unless of course they have special connections such as myself. Second, the dead cannot leave the place in which they died or were relocated to after their death, it will become their permanent home for the rest of their afterlife. And third, and most important, no consuming lasagna on the third Wednesday of March!" the spook explained.

    Kermit hesitated. "Um..." he shifted his weight. "I uh, I'm not sure I understand that last one, but um, anyway, what happens if you break one of these rules?"

    Uncle Deadly glanced at Robin, "I'd rather not discuss it in present company," he said. "But I assure you, it isn't pretty," he glanced back at Miss Piggy. "But, I suppose you'd know all about that wouldn't you frog?"

    "WHAT?" Miss Piggy pushed Kermit out of the way. "THAT DOES IT!" she shouted. "HI-YA!"

    Uncle Deadly fell over, then Miss Piggy stomped down on him. "Hmmph," she pushed her hair out of her face. "Now where was I?" she walked back over to the handsome soldier. "So, tall, gray coated, and handsome, what do you say we go talk politics over a nice dinner, hmm?" she asked sweetly.

    ??????????????????​

    Meanwhile, back at the theater, Bunsen was connecting two wires in front of the time machine causing sparks to fly everywhere. "Oh Beaker, I must say this may be one of our greatest inventions yet!" Bunsen said to Zany who was holding his "Applause!" cue card. "Yes sir, not even a bit of harm has affected you! Oh! Isn't it exciting?" Bunsen said as a spark flew onto Zany's cue card.

    "HEY!" Zany screamed. He dropped his card onto the floor and stomped the flames from the spark out. "Watch where you throw those sparks, you mad scientist! And for the last time, I am not your assistant Beaker! I AM ZANY THE PENGUIN!"

    Bunsen dropped the wires. "Zany...the...Penguin?" he said. "Nope, doesn't ring a bell! You must be Beaker!"

    Zany dropped his head into his wings. "Oh... my dear, Jim, in heaven..." he moaned.

    They were interrupted by distant shouts from the back of the empty audience. "What do you mean, MY fault?" Scooter shouted. "You're the one who picked up the wrong phone! YOU'RE the one who's been CHEATING on my SISTER!"

    "Me?! Cheat on Skeeter?!" Clifford shouted. "Uh, I suppose it's too late to plead the fifth, huh?" he shook his head. "But it's YOU'RE fault because you were the one who-who...You're the one who," he sighed. "Alright, alright, I guess it is my fault," Clifford agreed. "But, YOU were the one who walked into ME!"

    "I walked into you?" Scooter shouted. "I wasn't even walking anymore! I was looking at the sign!"

    "Why?" Clifford snapped. "So you could think of more ways to make me work during the day?"

    "It's your job!" Scooter shouted. "That's what you do at a job! Work!"

    "Hey, speaking of jobs and work!" Zany shouted to them. "Could one of you PLEASE explain to this melon-head that I am NOT his assistant Beaker, and it is NOT my job to sit here and be his test dummy?"

    Both Scooter and Clifford turned and looked at Bunsen and Zany. "Dr. Honeydew," Scooter said. "Uh, Zany's a penguin, not Beaker," Scooter said.

    Bunsen looked from Zany to Scooter and said. "Oh please Mr. Scooter sir, I knew that! I was just testing my new invention! The Muppet Labs cue card! With my new device, I have made cue cards ten times lighter! Making work so much easier for the penguins!"

    Zany glared at him. "You WHAT?" he picked up a cue card. "These are NOT any- oh, wait... yes, they are lighter!" he said. "Wow, so much easier! I can even do tricks!" He threw the card into the air and caught it. "OWWWW!" He screamed. He looked at his wing. "What a NASTY paper cut..." He waddled off the stage, muttering something to himself.

    Bunsen returned his attention to Scooter and Clifford. "Now, you fine fellows are probably wondering what this device I have here is, aren't you?"

    Scooter looked at the machine. "Not really," he mumbled. He shot a nasty look at Clifford.

    Bunsen protested, "Oh, but you must be at least the slightest bit interested in my new Muppet Labs Time Machine? Look, I simply flip this switch, and it will send the time travelers already lost in time to some other random destination! Oh it sets me all a-" but the scientist was cut off, behind all of the seats in the theater, a vortex of black flames appeared.

    From the flames emerged a tall, slender, cloaked figure carrying a scythe. He observed his surroundings and finally focussed his sight on Bunsen and the time machine. "STEP ASIDE HONEYDEW, I NEED ENTRANCE TO THE PAST," the figure said with a voice that made the Muppet's feel like all of their blood vessels had frozen. "I MUST FIND UNCLE DEADLY."
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  3. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Wow! Whoa! I don't know where to begin! First of all, yea for an update and such a long one at that! Um, let's see...highlights....
    -Beth's Clock Shop (I'm always excited to see myself in the story!)
    -Scooter and Clifford and Skeeter, good stuff!
    -Zany as always
    -"Oh my dear Jim..in heaven..." great line! LOVED it!
    -"March...or is it May?" Another great line!
    -"I MUST FIND UNCLE DEADLY" Scary....

    I laughed alot and I'm the edge of my seat. But if it's going to get scary, I'll need a teddy bear Lisa.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  4. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Good stuff as always. Highlights? Sure why not.
    1 School Rock reference, yaey!
    2 References to We Know That It's Probably Magic.
    3 The rest of the Muppets setting up in 1860's USA as if nothing's out of order.
    4 Death appears again, yaey. Though I feel I'd rather have the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come from MCC in the role...
    Oh well, Death's a welcome addition to the cast. Looking forward to badgering Ryan for the next chapter.
    J/K.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  5. ReneeLouvier

    ReneeLouvier Active Member

    I love it so much! This is an awesome story guys!! Really looking forward to the rest of this story!!! =D
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  6. G-MAN

    G-MAN Active Member

    Oh dear, poor Uncle Deadly, I like how the army guy actually mistook Beauregard for the general with his namesake, and I also love the Skeeter incident, and Zany of course, more story Ryan.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  7. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 4

    The train roared down the tracks, steam blowing from it's top. Beaker screamed as a tall man in a ten gallon hat tightened the ropes that surrounded the hapless (and helpless) lab assistant.

    "Well par'ner," the man said, finally standing up and walking off the tracks. "That'll teach ya to mess with Ol' Black Bart won' it?" Beaker meeped helplessly and struggled with the ropes.

    The man known as Black Bart took off his hat and scratched his head. "I'll ne'er un'erstan' you dern high pocket rich folks," he said as he mounted his horse and rode off into the hills, leaving Beaker stranded.

    Beaker looked at the oncoming train. "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" he screamed. The train's whistle blew at a similar pitch. It was dangerously close now. Beaker started to mumble quickly to himself. "Me mee me mo mee, me mo mee me mo mee moo, mee mo mee mee me. Me mee me me mo..." He looked up and saw a bright, pure white light, but no tunnel. "Mee me mo?"

    He was answered by the blow of the train whistle and a familiar array of screams. From the light came a patch of darkness, racing towards him, quickly growing to the seventeen Muppets he thought were still sitting in the audience at the Muppet Theater. They kept growing until all Beaker could see was the blue fur of the back of Gonzo's head.

    Uncle Deadly landed on the ground next to a switch connected to the track, he looked as the others lay on the tracks with the train speeding towards them, "No!" he thought to himself. "Seventeen deaths will draw Death here faster!" he immediately grabbed the switch on the tracks and pulled it down. A small section of the tracks switched over to another division of track. Thus, causing the train to careen down the other section of the track. Uncle Deadly wiped his brow and hoisted himself up and approached the others.

    "Oh..." Fozzie groaned as he sat up and rubbed his head. "My head hasn't hurt this bad since free Muppet brick night at the show..."

    "Foz man," Floyd stood up as well, "All those jokes you throw out are bricks!"

    Gonzo hopped up, stepping on Beaker's head, "You know, life is like a brick to the nose," he said.

    Rizzo rubbed his head and shook his pain off, "No Gonzo," he said. "That's just your life, or at least what you wish it was," the rat laughed at his own joke. "Oh, I kill me!"

    Uncle Deadly narrowed his eyes at Rizzo. "You haven't half of what it takes to kill you, rat," he said. "And I'd prefer if you didn't try. The only reason I saved your miserable lives was to keep Death away, and I don't need you calling him here."

    Rizzo cowered in fear, "I-I wouldn't dream of it mister spooky phantom sir," he said.

    Robin turned his head and realized that Gonzo was standing on Beaker's face. The young frog sat up. "Shouldn't we untie Beaker?" he said.

    "Not now Robin," Kermit told his nephew. "Now Uncle Deadly, I know you said that there's these rules and such, but uh, how are do you suggest we undo these rules?" the frog asked the old dragon.

    Robin looked at Beaker, then at his uncle. "But Uncle Kermit-"

    "I've told you Kermit," Uncle Deadly interrupted. "The only way to undo the rule breaking is to return me to the place of my death, which as you know has been established already as that old theater."

    "But does it matter what time you're in?" Kermit asked. "Because if we figure out where we are, we could probably get to where the theater is... or where it will be, at least, depending on when we are."

    "But Uncle Kermit Beaker is-" Robin tried to respond.

    "Kermit my main frog," Dr. Teeth interjected as well. "How are we gonna find where the theater will be if there's no markings? After all, we don't even know what state we're in."

    "Si, dis might not even be a state jet, hokay," Pepe said.

    "Like let's just hope we keep our positive state of mind," Janice said.

    "MIND! MIND!" Animal shouted.

    "But... guys... Beaker..." Robin looked around at everyone, then turned to the ignored assistant. "I'm trying, Beaker," he whispered.

    "Mee mo," Beaker sighed, thanking Robin for trying.

    "Hey Kermit, do you think we should try to find the theater?" Fozzie asked.

    "Well it couldn't hurt to try," Kermit said.

    "Right!" Sam said. "With the true American spirit of good, hard work, we are certain to achieve any goal." He looked around. "Anyone know where Route 66 is?"

    "Hey, isn't dat a restaurant or something?" Rizzo asked the others.

    "No guys," Rowlf said, "That train had a steam engine- I don't think the highway system exists yet. In fact, there might not even be any paved roads yet."

    "Shouldn't we untie Beaker?" Robin said, trying to raise his voice a little.

    "Why do we need paved roads when we have concrete?" Beauregard asked. "You know what I always say, a little concrete always helps!"

    "I like the way you think!" Gonzo said.

    "I think we should untie Beaker!" Robin said.

    "Well maybe we could follow these railroad tracks to a town, and figure it out from there," Kermit said.

    The Muppets continued arguing until Lips suddenly noticed that Beaker was tied to the train tracks. "Hey guys!" he hollered silencing everyone (even Janice). "Look dudes and dudettes! Beaker's tied to these train tracks!"

    "Oh!" Kermit said. "Well we should untie him." The others nodded.

    Robin hung his head and sighed. "It's about time," he mumbled.

    ??????????????????

    Clifford dove off to the left side of the stage dodging a streak of red hot black flames that shot from Death's scythe, losing his sunglasses in the process. "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE YOU FOOLS, IT WOULD BE WISE OF YOU JUST TO ALLOW ME TO PASS," the cloaked figure announced to the Muppets.

    Scooter stood his ground in front of the time machine. "We don't want you to hurt our friends," he said, trying to hide his fear from himself as much as from Death. "Why do you want to go back in time, anyways?"

    Death let out a light chuckle, "I DO NOT DESIRE TO HURT YOUR SO CALLED 'FRIENDS' ALL I DESIRE IS UNCLE DEADLY FOR VIOLATING ONE OF THE THREE LAWS OF DEATH. DOES THAT EXPLAIN ENOUGH FOR YOU GO-FER?" he asked. "WELL LET'S HOPE SO," he said as he fired a blast at Scooter's feet sending him flying down into the orchestra pit. Death slowly made his way to the machine.

    Bunsen was visibly shaking. "Right," he said, "Um, you just stand right there," he pointed in front of the machine. "And then I'll... flip the switch, and- through the wonders of science- you will be transported to another time." He took his place in back of the machine, then poked his head out from behind it. "And if you see my assistant Beaker, would you kindly send him my apologies. It seems one of his kidneys was sent to Ancient Rome by mistake, and the rest of him is in some other time and place."

    Death acknowledged Bunsen's request, "ALRIGHT I WILL," Death said. "BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE COME SO CLOSE TO CAUSING HIM AN UNTIMELY DEATH, AND I CAN RELATE. NOW SEND ME OFF YOU BUMBLING SCIENTIST," Death demanded.

    "Yes sir," Bunsen said. He fiddled with some wires, and the light of time emerged from the clock face. Clifford and Scooter both backed away from it as Death quickly disintegrated into the light, and it snapped back into the clock face. Bunsen emerged from behind the machine. "Interesting," he said. "I wonder what untimely death I've come close to causing Beaker."

    ??????????????????

    Meanwhile, back in the Wild West, the Muppets were about to untie Beaker. "Gee Beaker," Kermit said as he knelt down near Beaker. "I'm sorry we didn't notice you before, but no one told us you were-" Kermit was cut off, when the light of time emerged from the sky sucking all of the Muppets in one by one. All of them except Beaker, who remained tied to the tracks after the others had disappeared.

    Beaker sighed. "Me me mo," he muttered.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  8. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Oh like wow... The fan fic section of the library's filling up lately.
    Loved the bit with Death at the theater, and Bunsen's request. Just knew something had to happen to Beaker as a result of Bunsen's experiments.
    One of his kidneys is in Ancient Rome... Hee.
    Poor Robin, noone heard him when trying to untie Beaker. But to know Lips has this silencing voice over the rest of the gang?
    And will Beaker remain tied to the tracks? Will he be smashed upon the jagged rocks of the cliffs below?
    *Beaker, like Bugs Bunny, appearing well-off on the side of the screen: Mee mee mo.
    J/K, looking for the next chapter.

    BTW: Like my new sig?
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  9. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much Ed! I knew you'd love it!

    Oh, and about the sig...er...I don't honestly know what it's from...:o So...um...what is it? :p
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  10. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Well... It's from a song from Sesame Street. Got the memory of it, Big Bird in cowboy gear, meets up my roomie and the Countess also in cowboy get-up who stump him cause they're two.
    The song's sung by Johnny Cash, on Episode 3038 which I got on VHS.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  11. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Honestly I have no idea...But it sounds rully cool. And I like the siggy nonetheless. :)
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  12. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Thanks. Might watch it again to get the lyrics down, maybe send 'em to that Lyrics Archive site. A great place to hear some groovy song clips and read through many memories.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  13. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Yea for another great chapter guys! My favorite line was Fozzie's ""My head hasn't hurt this bad since free Muppet brick night at the show..."
    But other good stuff is in this chapter too, but I laughed a long time at that part! Good stuff with Death in the theatre as well. Loving it! Keep it up!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  14. G-MAN

    G-MAN Active Member

    This is funny, I love how everyone is ignoring Beaker's plight, and then he's left there all alone, lol, that and the kidney.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  15. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Chapter Five

    Animal blinked slowly as he rose up from the cold, dusty ground. "Head hurting," he moaned, rubbing his head slowly.

    Rizzo hoisted himself up off the ground by grabbing onto a street lamp. "I'm beginnin' to think we ain't never gonna get lunch!" he remarked, massaging his throbbing head.

    Kermit sat up looked around. "Sheesh," he said as his face scrunched. "I wonder if Beaker got off those tracks okay..."

    Pepe patted Kermit's back. "Eh, I find it best not to ask dees sorts of questions, hokay? I mean, it's not like any of us cared about carrot top anyway, at least I know I didn't, hokay?" he said as he pushed back his hair.

    "For once, I'll agree with this- shrimp," Sam said, as he slowly pushed himself to his feet. "After all, that- assistant- has a rather strange and very un-American language."

    "Si, si, I don't un'erstand why none of dees other crazy Muffins have never agreed with me, hokay? Weird dat it was jou, huh senor American pants. Hehe," Pepe laughed.

    "EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!" The Muppets turned around to see a paperboy standing on a near-by corner. "U. S. S. MAINE EXPLODES IN HAVANA! SPANISH TO BLAME! FRESH OFF THE PRESS, FOLKS, GET YOUR PAPER HERE! EXTRA! EXTRA!"

    Sam Eagle gasped at hearing the news. "Oh-my-George!" he sputtered. "We are here at on the exact day after those un-AMERICAN Spaniards wiped out one of our nations most beautiful vessels!" he wiped a tear.

    Kermit looked at the eagle. "Uh... what day is that, Sam?" he asked.

    Sam glared at Kermit. "And you call yourself an AMERICAN?!" he bellowed. "Any well being American citizen would know that the Spanish RUINED the rest of 1898 on February the 15th, of that same year!" Sam let out a deep sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who actually READS the Constitution daily..."

    Pepe nodded along with Sam agreeing with the eagle, but suddenly he jolted his head forward and realized something. "Hold jour horses der big bird!" Pepe shouted. "Jou're saying dat the Spaniards are de cause of all of dis?!" he shouted. "We are not de cause! We are de solution, hokay?"

    Floyd blinked at the king prawn. "Hey man... do you even know what's goin' down here? Or... now?"

    Pepe opened his mouth and began to say something to Floyd, but he stopped. "Um...French Revolution maybe?" he asked.

    "Humph!" Sam said. "The French Revolution! How despicably revolting, you- you- you don't even know enough American history to recognize the start of the Mexican-American War when you see it!"

    Uncle Deadly walked over to the young boy selling the papers, he was sick of these fools. "Hello boy, I'll take one paper please," he extended his blue, clawed hand with a nickel in the palm. The boy's eyes grew larger than his ears; he dropped the papers and ran off down the sidewalk. The phantom sighed, "Why must this happen every time I try to be social?" he asked as he picked up a paper.

    The old dragon returned over to the group where Pepe and Sam were still arguing, Uncle Deadly stuck the paper under his arm and hoisted Pepe up by the hood of his sweatshirt and brought him to the front of his snout. "WILL YOU BE QUIET?!" he shouted. "Here eagle, please read us the title on the front page," he said slapping the paper against Sam's chest.

    Sam unfolded the paper. "I would do so, gladly," he said. He cleared his throat and examined the headline. "Spanish Act of Terrorism Sure to Start..." he hesitated. "The Spanish-American War." He looked over the top of the paper, his eyes shifting from Pepe's mocking laugh to Uncle Deadly's scowling face and folded arms, and back to Pepe. He threw the paper to the ground. "Despicable," he muttered. "People don't even know American history while it's being made!"

    "How thick is that head of yours bird brain?!" Piggy asked the eagle. "What does a lady have to do to get some decent atmosphere now-a-days, huh?!" she yelled as she dusted off her skirt.

    Gonzo nudged Rowlf. "Hey, didn't we already decide that there were no ladies here?" he whispered.

    "Sure, we decided," Rowlf said. "But she didn't."

    Gonzo shrugged. "Since when did we care what Piggy decided?"

    Rizzo walked up next to Gonzo. "Uh, I t'ink it was after she took t'ose karate lessons..."

    Dr. Teeth picked up the newspaper off the ground and turned it to the middle. "Hey, hey, looks like the Yankees won!"

    "Like Dr. Teeth, since when do you care about sports?" Janice asked.

    "Since I could figure out where, we are when!" he chuckled. "Meaning, we are absotively possolutely in New York City!"

    Robin looked at Dr. Teeth, suddenly amazed. "New York?" he repeated. He turned to Kermit. "Hey Uncle Kermit?" he said. "Isn't Sesame Street in New York? Where's Sesame Street? Can we go there?"

    Kermit looked curiously at his nephew. "Well gee Robin, if it's 1898, I don't know if Sesame Street even exists yet."

    "Oh," Robin said. He looked down, a little disappointed. Then he looked up again. "Well, we can try, can't we?"

    Kermit shrugged. "Well, I guess, but..."

    Robin hopped excitedly to a man passing by. "Excuse me, sir," he said as politely as he could. "Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?”

    ????????????????​

    "What do you mean my karate's rusty?!" Scooter yelled at Clifford as they argued over why Death escaped into the past.

    "Well either that, or the only way YOU got a black belt is from Skeeter's good graces!" Clifford said. "Man, that's the worst karate I've seen in years!"

    "Look who's talking Mr. 'Alright man, let's just put the scythe away and talk about this'." Scooter mocked.

    "Hey! At least I wasn't tryin' to be somethin' I wasn't, Mr. Pseudo-Karate-Kid!" Clifford countered.

    Scooter began to make a come back but closed his mouth, he grinned at Clifford and said, "Well at least I didn't admit to a girl that I was CHEATING ON HER!!"

    "Would you LAY OFF about that!" Clifford said, so angry he was nearly growling. He hesitated. "At least I'm not OVER-PROTECTIVE of the ladies in my life!"

    "She's my SISTER!" Scooter shouted back. "It's my job to be over-protective! And if I wasn't," Scooter hesitated as well, but decided to say it anyway. "I wouldn't be able to protect her from guys like YOU!"

    Clifford folded his arms and glared at the go-fer through his sunglasses. "And what is THAT supposed to mean?"

    "THAT is supposed to mean that I think Skeeter can do way better than you!" Scooter replied harshly. "In fact, PIGGY could do better than you!"

    Clifford's hand clenched into a fist, and he punched the go-fer straight across the face.

    ??????????????​

    Death emerged from the light on his feet, he was much more coordinated than the other travelers (he had after all had more practice in the field of time travel). The cloaked spirit observed his surroundings and realized he was at the first battle of the U. S. Civil War. He sighed, dark memories haunted his mind. "OH WHAT A NIGHT THAT WAS..." he sighed, looking around. He was hoping to see his 1860's self again, remembering the shimmering gold cloak he wore. "OH WHAT A FOOL I WAS BACK IN MY 1860'S..." he sighed.

    ??????????????????​

    Bunsen sat in a corner pondering, "Now when did I ever almost cause death to Beaker..." he thought to himself. "Oh, I suppose that strange cloaked figure was just pulling my leg," the bumbling scientist said. "But wait!" Bunsen said accidentally hitting the lever of the time machine with his arm, "He couldn't have been pulling my leg! As he was on his own two feet the entire time!"
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  16. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Heh... Where to start...

    Sesame Street references, Robin trying to find it and asking the man how to get there... And Pepe calling Sam a "big Bird".
    Points there.

    Uncle Deadly frightening the newspaper boy trying to be social.
    Another point.

    The start of the Spanish-American War... Just hope you guys checked your historical dates for that one...
    And Pepe's dialogue was rully well done.

    Scooter learning karate from Skeeter... Reference to stories from the past...

    Bunsen flipped the what? Get out of there everybody!
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  17. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Ahhhhhh! Great stuff here! I love it and I want to say more, but I don't have that much time, I'll just say my favorite was "excuse me sir, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" and gosh, it was awesome! Keep it up you guys!
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  18. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Ok, I know I already told you guys what I think on MSN, but I thought I should say that all that still stands!!!

    I simply love this story!
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  19. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah... Too bad we have to wait for Ryan to get back for more though.
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  20. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Indeed. Though I saw him on MSN yesterday!!! So he may be around lurking in the shadows!
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