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TMS Outline- Groucho Marx!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Gorgon Heap, Aug 8, 2004.

  1. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    This one was near completion, just needed a plot and some details. Special thanks to Kim for letting me bounce ideas off her. So without further ado:

    "It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star Mr. Groucho Marx! Waaah!"

    SPECIAL GUEST STAR: Groucho Marx

    STYLE: Early second season (circa Don Knotts, Zero Mostel episodes)

    Cold opening: Sweetums gives Groucho a cigar- a BIG cigar.

    Groucho: “You know, I could smoke this cigar for the rest of my life, which, if I’m doing this show, could be a matter of minutes.”

    S & W: W: “Remember, this time wake me when it’s over.”
    Gonzo: Bubble gum comes out of the trumpet

    OPENING NUMBER: “A Bicycle Built for Two”- Scooter sings to his girl on their bicycle, but he crashes the bike at the end.

    Waldorf: "Tell me Statler, did you ever own a bicycle built for two?"

    Statler: "Yeah, but I never went for a ride on it."

    Waldorf: "Really? How come?"

    Statler: "There was no room once my wife got on!"

    S & W: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

    BACKSTAGE: Kermit is trying to locate the duck.

    Kermit: “We need that duck for the end of the show.”

    Fozzie (walking by, overhearing): “Why a duck?”

    Kermit: “Fozzie, do not start!”

    Fozzie: “What did I say?”

    SONG: “Peasie Weasie”- Groucho sings, accompanied by Rowlf

    Statler: “That Groucho Marx is a fine singer!”

    Waldorf: “Well, so am I, Statler! You want to hear me sing?”

    Statler: “Only if you’ve got a falsetto voice.”

    Waldorf: “No, but I’ve got a false set of teeth! Ha ha ha!”

    THE SWEDISH CHEF: shish kebob

    BACKSTAGE: Kermit wards off Miss Piggy by talking circles around her like Groucho to Margaret Dumont, insulting her without her knowledge. She leaves, confused.

    Kermit (to camera): “I saw Groucho do that to Margaret Dumont in one of their movies last night.”

    Piggy comes back and karate chops him.

    Kermit (to camera): “That part, however, was not in the original exchange.”

    He faints.


    UK SPOT: “That Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze” (TMS circus set)

    TALK SPOT: Groucho talks to Sam the Eagle, and like all straight-laced types he’s run into, Groucho insults and talks circles around him

    Groucho: “You know, you’ve got a lot of gall. Well you can take all of Gaul, and Mesopotamia too for all I care. You know I could make better use out of you with stuffing and cranberry sauce?”

    SKETCH: Gonzo recites from the works of Byron while building a bunk bed (blindfolded!)

    DRESSING ROOM: The Muppets are piling in to talk to Groucho, until the room is full a la the ‘stateroom’ scene in “A Night at the Opera”.

    SONG: “Everyone Says I Love You”- Rowlf plays piano and sings, backed up by Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Floyd

    Waldorf: "Ah, wonderful! Wonderful. I remember the Marx Brothers each performing that song in the movie 'Horse Feathers'. You know Statler, I've always wondered about that title. I mean, how is it that a horse has feathers?"

    Statler: "How is it that you're not in a retirement home yet?"

    Waldorf (mutters): "Old buzzard."

    CLOSING NUMBER: “Hooray for Captain Spaulding”- Groucho with Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Baskerville the Hound, Lenny the Lizard, Boppity and Gloat, Wayne & Wanda, and some tropical birds in a sort of mansion drawing room set, like in the movie "Animal Crackers".

    Curtain: All the Muppets are wearing Groucho glasses. Groucho enters.

    Groucho: “Thank you Kermit. You know, this show begs one question: unfortunately, the answer is you’re putting the show on, and my agent was putting me on, but I found that out too late.”

    Groucho, Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter and Gloat gather in front of the curtain.

    Statler: “Boo!”

    Waldorf: “Hiss!”

    Statler: “Awful!”

    ‘Awful’ turns out to be the secret word, so the duck drops down.

    Statler: "We must have said the secret word!"

    Waldorf: “What did we get? Money?”

    Duck: “No, two tickets to next week’s show!”

    S & W: “Oh no!”

    Drop me your comments.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  2. Skeeter Muppet

    Skeeter Muppet Well-Known Member

    Looks real good, Gorgon! Glad that I could help out!

  3. JaniceFerSure

    JaniceFerSure Well-Known Member

    Good job GH,I love the Marx Bros.:halo:
  4. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    Coming soon (as long as you take the word "soon" with a grain of salt):

    The Muppet Show, with special guest star TIM CONWAY!

    (Princeton, don't touch Tim Conway; he's mine. Back off, this is a warning! :mad: )

    (But no, seriously, I kid. ;) :D )

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  5. JaniceFerSure

    JaniceFerSure Well-Known Member

    Tim Conway is one of my favs. too. I wish I had the patience to write a show plot.If I could choose the guest stars,mine would be my favs./idols: Jerry Lewis,Mel Brooks,Cher,Jim Henson himself,Meryl Streep,Bette Midler,Dean Martin,Dick Shawn;a lot of the classic giants like Orson Wells,James Dean,Marlon Brando,etc... Keep up the good work David.:)
  6. Which muppets are in this "At the Dance" sketch?

    Which muppets appear in this number?

    Which muppets pile in?

    Which specific birds appear in this number?
  7. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    That's all vary good, Philip, but what did you think of the outlines themselves?

    GH, I have been a long-time admirer of your work, and I hope you never get descouraged.
  8. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan Well-Known Member

    Zelda Rose with Droop, Ohboy Bird (the blue one) with Youknow Bird (the pink one), Kermit with Miss Mousey, a duck-billed woman with a blue Whatnot, and Shakey Sanchez with a Whatnot girl wearing a pink sweater.

    Some Whatnots.

    Kermit, Rowlf, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, and others.

    Ohboy Bird and Youknow Bird
  9. I love them! They're awesome and very well written.:)

    As I stated in a previous post, I think that GH would've made a great writer for "The Muppet Show".

    So, GH, keep up the good work and, as always, I look forward to your next Muppet Show outline.
  10. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for the compliments, Philip.

    As to your questions, in this outline I never decided which Muppets appear in those sketches. I could go back and flesh it out at some point but don't hold your breath for it- writing is one of the few avenues of my life in which I'm always looking forward, sometimes so much that I neglect to finish the writings I start (see my as-of-yet unfinished screenplay.)

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  11. The muppets that crowd into Groucho's dressing room could be Robin, Link, Droop, Miss Kitty, the Blue Scoff, Uncle Deadly, George the Janitor, T.R. the Rooster, Muppy, the Jim Henson muppet, the Frank Oz muppet, the Jerry Nelson muppet, Floyd, Zoot, Dr. Teeth, Thig and, as TSF suggested, Kermit, Rowlf, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo and Scooter.

    As for the birds in the closing number, maybe you could go with TSF's suggestion of making Ohboy and Youknow the birds that appear in this number.

    You could also go with TSF's suggestions as to which couples are in "At the Dance".
  12. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    Hmm, scratch Robin, Thig, and Link.

    How about all 6 from the "One Sentence Birds" sketch?

    I liked TSF's couple suggestions this time out.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  13. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan Well-Known Member

    Dave...I guess you mean Thog, not Thig.
  14. Skeeter Muppet

    Skeeter Muppet Well-Known Member

    No, he probably means Thig. Just because a Muppet isn't that well-known to the general public doesn't mean she, he or it gets left out of an outline.

  15. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    Right. I do know who Thig is- he's in your current avatar, TSF. Looks like one of the ones I made- you get it off of Barry Lee's site?

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  16. Okay, then. How about Rover Joe, Catgut and the Trumpet Lady instead?
  17. Who performed the following characters:

    -Scooter's girl
    -the duck
    -Zelda Rose
    -Shakey Sanchez and his dance partner
    -the blue whatnot man & duck-billed woman
    -OhBoy Bird & YouKnow Bird in "At the Dance"

    And I suppose that the muppets in the closing number would not have specific performers and would be singing together at the same time. Right?

    And would any of the muppets in the dressing room scene where they crowd in to talk to Groucho speak? I guess most of them would be silent.
  18. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan Well-Known Member

    Scooter's Girlfriend- Jim Henson
    Duck- Richard Hunt
    Zelda Rose- Dave Goelz, voiced by Richenda Carey
    Shakey Sanchez and his dancing partner- Jim Henson
    Blue Whatnot Man & Duck-Billed Woman- Frank Oz
    Ohboy Bird & Youknow Bird- Richard Hunt & Jerry Nelson
  19. I'm still waiting for answers, Gorgon Heap.
  20. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Well-Known Member

    -Scooter's girl: she doesn't speak
    -the duck: Jim
    -Zelda Rose: Jerry
    -Shakey Sanchez and his dance partner: Dave
    -the blue whatnot man & duck-billed woman: Richard
    -OhBoy Bird & YouKnow Bird in "At the Dance": Frank


    Some would. George the Janitor would, I'm thinking Dr. Teeth would. Really I would need to write this sketch out, patterned after it's inspiration, and decide who would need to speak and who all would have a reason to go to Groucho's dressing room. IMO Kermit should be the last person to open the door, at which point all the Muppets spill out into the hallway.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

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