When Fozzie Lost His Funny

[redBoobergurl]

Oh the song! That was just lovely! I am continuing to enjoy the characters of Tommo, Emma and especially Bonsai. I really thought it was sweet that Bonsai made Fozzie a tie, it was just so cute and thoughtful and made me go all melty inside. Very nice. Looking forward to more.

 

[Java]

I don't have much time but just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed this chapter. Very touching on Bonsai's part.

Ready for more when you have it.

 

[MarkFraggle]

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Scooter hurried around the theater, constantly consulting his clipboard to see which act he needed to check on next. Kermit had left him in charge -- with Clifford's help, of course -- of putting together the Fozzie Bear Spectacular, and Scooter was determined not to let Kermit down. Muppet Specials were BIG, after all, and this one had the potential to be one of the biggest ever.

Let's see, thought Scooter. I'll just start at the top and check with each act one at a time, to make sure everything is going okay. First stop, The Pizza Twins.

In a small corner of the theater, Rizzo and Pepe were running lines for their sketch.

"I do not understand this joke, hokay? Why are we sometimes newspaper guys and sometimes pizza delivery guys? This makes no sense, hokay?"

"Just put on the hat, Pepe," replied Rizzo. "It don't matter if you understand it, just learn the lines."

"I am an actor, hokay! I must understand my motivation to perform my part."

"Your motivation is I'm gonna slug you if you don't put on the hat," cheeked Rizzo.

"Ju don't scare Pepe, rat," declared the King Prawn, waving his fists about in challenge.

"Hey, hey guys!" interrupted Scooter as he hurried over. "What's going on?"

"Aw, Pepe keeps complainin' about the sketch," answered Rizzo.

"It makes no sense, hokay? Why are we newspaper writers and pizza shop guys? Why are we brothers? We look nothing alike, hokay? And what is with all the hat jokes? These jokes are ridiculous. Hats do not make us look alike, hokay?"

"It's okay, Pepe," Scooter assured him. "The audience will think it is funny, I promise. Maybe you should watch Caper again tonight, to get a feel for the part."

"It's a stupid part, hokay?" muttered Pepe.

"Pepe," chided Scooter. "I thought you wanted to do this. To help make up for hurting Fozzie so badly."

"Ju are right, Scooner," said Pepe. "I will do this part, even if it makes no sense. But Fozzie had better appreciate it, hokay?"

"I'm sure he will," said Scooter, and then added under his breath "if we can find him..."

Scooter moved on to the next act on the list, Bobo, who was sitting alone in the audience portion of the theater, memorizing his lines.

"Hey Bobo, how's the act coming?" asked Scooter.

"Uhm, not bad," said Bobo hesitantly. "Only one thing. I'm not wearing a necktie. I don't even own a necktie. And the end of the joke says I am."

"Oh, that's no problem, we'll get you one from wardrobe," replied Scooter, scribbling a note on his clipboard. "Have you got someone to do the other part of the act for you?"

"Oh yeah, Clueless is going to do it," replied Bobo, gesturing a few rows over to where Clueless Morgan sat, repeating one line over and over.

"Good grief, the comedian's a ... the comedian's a ...he's a ..."

"Bear!" supplied an exasperated Scooter. "He's a bear! Just look at Bobo when you say it, and there is no way you will forget. We gave this role to Bobo specifically because he is a bear!"

"But ... I thought we were doing it the way Fozzie did it," said a confused Clueless.

"We ... are," replied Scooter, failing to see how this mattered.

"Then it doesn't matter what Bobo is," explained Clueless. "It matters what Fozzie is."

"But Fozzie is ALSO a bear," said Scooter.

"He is?"

"Sheesh," said Scooter in his best Kermit impersonation. "Just pretend the joke is about Bobo, then. It will work out, I promise."

"If you're sure..." said Clueless.

"I'm positive."

Scooter shook his head and continued on, thinking to himself I wonder if this is what it is like to be Kermit all the time. He made a small check beside Bobo's name and circled the note about the necktie as he wandered over to Sara.

"Hey sweetheart, do you need anything?" he asked.

"I don't think so," said Sara. "Oh," she added, indicating a tall gentleman beside her, "this is Rabbi Rackham."

"Nice to meet you," said Scooter cordially. "We appreciate your help."

"No problem at all," said the Rabbi with a grin. "I've always loved Fozzie, and his magic act was one of my favorite bits."

"I've also got a robot," continued Sara, pointing to Bleep, "and Bean says his family would love to play the rabbits."

"Oh good," answered Scooter. "Glad someone's got their act under control. I'd better go check on everyone else."

Sara gave Scooter a quick kiss on the cheek before he left. "You're doing, great, Scooter! Kermit will be very pleased when he gets back."

"Thanks," said Scooter meaningfully as he hurried onward. Next up was Wanda, and last he knew she still hadn't been able to track down the old Chucky ventriloquist dummy. Scooter walked back to the prop room and looked inside. Sure enough, Wanda was still climbing around, by now near the very back of the large room, digging through mountains of old props.

"Hey Wanda," he called out. "Any luck?"

"Yeah, I think so!" she yelled back excitedly. "I just found an ear sticking out from beneath the telephone Pole costume. I'm pretty sure it belongs to Chucky!"

"Great, great job, Wanda!" cheered Scooter. "You sure this is the act you want?"

"Sure I'm sure," said Wanda. "How hard could it be, the doll doesn't even taaaaaaaaaaalk," Wanda balanced precariously on a mound of tilting props as she finished the sentence.

"Hey, be careful in there," said Scooter. "Rowlf would kill me if you were hurt when he got back."

"No problem, Scoot. I'm a cat, remember? Natural sense of balance and all that."

"Right, right. Let me know if you need any help, okay?"

"You got it, chief."

Scooter looked to his list again, but was interrupted by the sound of knocking on the backstage door. He hurried to answer it, and found Tim Curry dressed in full pirate regalia.

"Yar, matey!" cried Tim, stepping inside quickly. "Be this where the Squire Trelawny sketch is t'be rehearsed?"

"Great to see you, Mr. Curry!" said Scooter excitedly. "It sure is. Why don't you head on in and say hi to everyone? We can start rehearsing as soon as I finish this round of checks, okay? I've already got the Trelawny outfit tailored to my size."

"You got it, Scooter. It'll be nice to finally do a scene with you."

Scooter nodded, and, after consulting his list, moved on to speak with Sam. It took him a moment to find the eagle, who was rehearsing alone in a back room.

"Hi Sam," started Scooter. "How ya doin'?"

"I am doing fine, thank you," replied Sam.

"How do you like the role?"

"It is a good role. Being an Emperor is very ... noble. Eagles are very noble birds, you know. I am not sure how I feel about playing a monarch, however. Kings are very un-American. Perhaps we should do the President's New Clothes instead."

"Oh, no need for that, Sam, no need for that. It is just an old story. A very popular one. With ... with a true moral at the end."

"Ahh, yes. A moral. Excellent. And I must say, I will look rather fetching in Emperor's Robes.”

"Ah, you don't have robes," said Scooter.

"What? What sort of an Emperor goes about without robes? What do I wear, sackcloth?"

"Well ... you wear nothing," said Scooter.

"You mean I'll be NAKED?" asked a horrified Sam.

"But Sam, I've known you for years, and you never wear clothes," protested Scooter.

"Hmm. I will have to consider this, Scooter."

"Okay, Sam, okay." Scooter laughed -- but only on the inside, so Sam didn't hear -- and moved on to the main stage, where Paul Williams was sitting at a player piano, talking to Robin.

"Hey, Paul," said Scooter. "How's it feel being onstage with the Muppets again?"

"Feels Fantastic, Scooter! Absolutely fantastic!"

"You need anything for the El Sleezo sketch?" inquired Scooter.

"I do, but Robin offered to help me. You go ahead and check on everyone else, I'll be fine. I'm an old pro when it comes to Muppet productions."

Scooter laughed gratefully and walked across the stage to where Bean Bunny was rehearsing with Willard Scott. He didn't bother interrupting them, he could tell from listening in for a few moments they were doing just fine. Bean was working very hard to be a good Weather Bear, and Willard was a true professional. Scooter simply caught Willard’s eye, nodded, and checked the sketch off his list.

On the complete other end of the spectrum were Johnny Fiama and Sal, who were simply butchering the Bear On Patrol routine. Rather than try to tell them everything they were doing wrong, Scooter just waved his hands and called for them to stop.

"Look guys, this isn't working out," he said apologetically. "Why don't we move Johnny on to the E-I-E-I-O-R sketch, and let Link take over his role. He'd be able to help Sal out a lot, I'm sure."

"No way," said Sal. "Johnny and I work together, or we don't work at all. We are a team, a duo, brothers in arms, pals, comra..."

"Sounds like a great idea to me," said Johnny. "Stay here, Sal. I'll call you when I need my water bottle." Johnny walked off, and Sal was left standing.

"You got it, Johnny. Whatever you say. I'll be right here with your water until you need me!"

"Thanks, Sal" said Scooter. "You make a great Patrol Bear. And you'll like working with Link, he has a lot of experience." Scooter waved Link over and explained the shift, and Link immediately began discussing the routine with Sal.

"Good, let's see. That leaves only ... the Mayhem," said Scooter, checking the list. "And Tim and I, of course."

Scooter strolled over to the orchestra pit and looked down on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, who were in mid rehearsal. They stopped when they noticed him watching.

"How are ya, little man?" asked Floyd.

"I'm good. Things are going well. How's the song coming along?"

"Couldn't be better," said Dr. Teeth. "It's a Mayhem original, and we are the most original band alive."

"Great," said Scooter. "Picked a title yet?"

"Nah, it's still a work in progress. We won't know the name until we finish and it can tell us. But we'll play you what we've got so far. Hit it, boys!"

HIT IT, HIT IT!" called Animal, as he opened the song with a strong beat.

Scooter smiled -- everything was coming together nicely.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Awww, look at them all working hard to put together a nice show and what a great tribute to Fozzie. I love the sketches you're putting together from Pizza Twins to the whole "the comedian's a bear" thing to El Sleazo! Great stuff! And poor Scooter getting a little frustrated at the beginning and then feeling better by the end because things are coming together! And Wanda!!! I love it when she shows up in stories, especially this one because you get her character so well! I like the line about how Rowlf would kill Scooter if she got hurt putting together the show! Anyway, you deserve a much more detailed review than this after the nice review you gave me, but unfortunately this is the best I can do with the time I have right now. I can end by saying this MORE PLEASE!

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Oh my gosh! I love it so much Mark!! Great job, and I'm a little speechless! I love the turtle characters, and Bonsai, he's the coolest!!!

 

[MarkFraggle]

sara -- glad you like Bonsai, I was a bit nervous introducing my own characters.

Beth -- thanks! I love Wanda as a character, and she's such a natural fit with the Muppets, that I really wanted to include her. But I was worried, because I didn't want to get her wrong. So glad you approve!

 

[Java]

Good Chapter! I look forward to more.

 

[MarkFraggle]

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Fozzie Bear was sitting comfortably on an old wooden rocker as morning broke; feet resting beside the fire and an enormous mug of rosehip tea in his paw. In front of him sat the turtle friends Tommo and Emma, hunkered down on the floor like eager little children, full attention focused on their guest. Bonsai buzzed about the room, joining the turtles and Fozzie whenever he could reign in his energy enough to actually stay in the same place for a few moments.

Fozzie had loosened up considerably, and was enjoying himself more than he had in quite some time. He loved talking with the turtles, sharing his years of insights and experiences with someone outside of the Muppet troupe. He was emotionally buoyed by seeing the delighted smiles on their faces as he spoke of his exploits. Eventually, as he was in the middle of a story about the first season of the show, Tommo interrupted him excitedly:

"So what do we need to do to be as good as you?"

Fozzie laughed. "You gotta start small, Tom. You just gotta keep working until you find the magic."

"We have started small, Fozzie. It doesn't get much smaller than open mic night at the Happy Penguin."

"Okay, then we'll just retool your show a bit. Add a little pizzazz. A little razzle-dazzle. And let's see if we can land something other than an open mic night."

"We've tried. Nobody will have us."

"That never stopped me," replied Fozzie. "We'll make a few calls and see what we can find, okay?"

"Okay!" said Tommo and Emma together.

"How're we going to ... what did you call it ... retool? How are we going to retool the show?" asked Emma curiously.

"Dunno yet. Whacha got?"

"We do short sketches, mostly. One act shows, that sorta stuff."

"And?"

"And ... well ... that's it," finished Tommo lamely.

"That's ... all?" asked Fozzie, with his characteristically bemused voice.

Tommo and Emma nodded.

"You need more than that, guys. You gotta do it all. You gotta sing, dance, tell jokes. You gotta be a showman."

"So where do we start?" asked Emma.

"Two things you gotta do if I'm gonna help you," said Fozzie, realizing he was speaking with authority and seriousness -- something he did very rarely.

"Anything," said Emma.

"Name 'em," agreed Tommo.

"First, you put him in the show," said Fozzie, pointing at Bonsai who was, at that moment, sitting in a large salad bowl on the kitchen table, apparently using a wooden spoon as an imaginary boat paddle.

"Bonsai?"

"Yeah," Fozzie wasn't quite sure how, but he knew it was important. "He can be ... an acrobat, or something. A dancer. A painter. Anything. He just needs to be in the show."

"That's fine with us Fozzie, but ... why?"

"He's got ... it," said Fozzie, waving his hands vaguely about in the air. "The dream. Magic. Whatever. He has it."

The turtles looked puzzled.

"Can't you tell?" asked Fozzie. "Don't you feel him pulling your eyes towards him? Aren't you always excited and curious to see what he's going to do next?"

"Yeah, okay. I see what you mean," agreed Tommo. "Hey Bonsai, wanna be in a show with us?"

Bonsai leapt out of the bowl, and with a wild cry of "Wahahahahoooooo!" brandished his spoon in the air.

"That's a 'yes,' is it?" asked Fozzie.

Bonsai nodded aggressively.

"Good," said Tommo. "What's the second thing?"

"Music," said Fozzie quickly. "You have to have music. A piano player, maybe even a small band, but you need something."

"Okay, well that one might take some thought. Emma and I can both sing okay, but we don't know any musicians."

Bonsai's ears perked up, and he waved his spoon about excitedly then dashed out the door.

"Guess Bon has an idea," noted Emma.

"Who knows, with him," replied Tommo. "Maybe he just remembered he left the water running. Or maybe he suddenly wanted to catch a butterfly. Hard to tell."

Fozzie and the turtles continued talking and making plans. An hour or so passed in this manner, and as they were finally beginning to sketch out the rough outline of an hour long stage show, Bonsai came bursting back in the door, waving a large piece of paper above his head. He ran up to Fozzie and thrust it into his face.

"Aaaaaa-chaaa!"

"What've you got, Bon?" asked Emma curiously.

Fozzie glanced at the paper for a few seconds and explained. "It's a flier. For a Battle of the Bands tonight in some place called Waterville."

"Oh yeah, Waterville is just down river a bit," said Tommo. "You should be familiar with it -- didn't you say your family hibernates around these parts?"

"Well, yes. But we're generally asleep while we do that. You don't get to know many people or places while you are asleep."

"So you think we could find a band for our show here?"

"I dunno," said Fozzie doubtfully. "But it is worth a try. At least if you find someone from such a rinky-dink town, they probably won't expect to earn much money."

"We better get planning, then. We'll need to leave at least two hours before it starts, if we're going to walk the whole way there."

While Emma and Fozzie continued to sketch out a plan for the show, Tommo and Bonsai dashed about the kitchen putting together a dinner they could carry with them. The day slipped by quickly, and the eager group unfortunately lost track of time. When Emma finally remembered to check the time, she was dismayed.

"Oh no! There's only an hour until the show starts! No way we can make it on time!" Emma cried.

"Oh no," echoed Fozzie. "Maybe if we run, we can still see the end of it!" As one, the turtles and Fozzie rushed for the door, then crashed into each other and landed in a heap when they all tried to get through it at once. They collapsed into a fit of giggles when Fozzie declared "hey, that door is filled with turtle. You should get that fixed."

Bonsai shook his head, climbed lightly over the pile of fur and shell, and vaulted out the door. When he landed, he turned around and waved for the others to follow him.

"Bonsai, we can't waste time right now. We need to hurry!"

"Hrooo. Fripfrip!" demanded Bonsai, stamping his foot in the dirt. He gestured again more adamantly.

"Maybe Bonsai knows a shortcut or something," suggested Emma.

"I doubt it," Tommo replied. "If a shortcut to Waterville existed, someone else would have found it by now. We don't have time to run on a weird little errand for him. Sorry Bonsai, we're just going to have to go without you."

Bonsai picked up a fallen stick, walked over to Tommo, and whacked him across the head with it. Emma laughed out loud -- a joyous, melodious laugh -- and trotted over to Bonsai.

"C'mon Bon, I'll go with you," she said defiantly. "And so will Tommo." Emma grabbed the other turtle by the arm and pulled him along.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming. I guess we can find a band some other day," muttered Tommo. Fozzie trailed along, not knowing what else to do. In less than ten minutes, Bonsai had led the group to his dam on the river. Before anyone could ask him why he'd taken them to his small home, he bounded across the top of his dam and unlashed a thick rope which he used to pull a small raft into view. It wasn't big, and it sure wasn't fancy, but it had room for all four of them and looked exceptionally sturdy.

"Bonsai!" said Tommo excitedly. "Where'd you get a boat?"

Bonsai pointed at himself and chattered in explanation, "che, chee, che."

"You built it? Bon, it's beautiful!" gushed Emma.

"Goo," replied the modest beaver, ducking his head in embarrassment. "Jaaa. Hai hai," he continued, playfully shoving the other three towards the raft.

As soon as everyone was aboard, Bonsai grabbed two roughly paddle-shaped planks and handed them to Fozzie and Tommo. While they paddled, the beaver pulled a very long, sturdy branch from the floor of the raft and clamored to the rear of the craft, using it against the shoreline and the bottom of the river to keep the raft from getting stuck. In this manner they traveled quickly along, arriving in a very small town in about half an hour.

"Is this Waterville?" asked Fozzie with concern. "It looks really ... tiny."

"No, this is Frogtown Hollow. Waterville is just a little bit further," explained Tommo.

"Think we're in time for the contest?"

"No clue." Tommo waved at on elderly possum woman walking slowly along the river. "Hello, Mrs. Possum!" he called out in a friendly voice. "Do y'know if the contest has started yet?"

Old Lady Possum waved back. "Hello there, young turtles. Hello Bonsai!"

"Hyuip!"

"If you kids hurry, you can probably still make the start of the show. Ten minutes to go!'

"Thanks, Mrs. Possum," they called. Fozzie and Tommo dipped their paddles into the water with renewed vigor, and the shot off down the river, arriving in Waterville with only seconds to spare.

When they arrived, Bonsai shot out of the raft and secured it to the shore. The four hurried into town.

"Where do you suppose the contest is?" asked Fozzie.

"Town Hall," said Emma, pointing down the road. "It's where they have all their big events and contests."

"They do this often?"

"Couple times a year, usually. Although this might be the first battle of the bands. Usually it's a talent contest sorta thing."

"Ever been to one before?"

"Nope."

"Oh boy," muttered Fozzie, thinking about the sort of talent which usually turned out for local shows.

The group ran up the street and slipped into town hall just as the mayor was leaving the stage to polite applause from the crowd.

"Hey, I think I know him!" said Fozzie excitedly. He poked an audience member in front of him. "Was that Harrison Fox?"

"Sure was," answered James Badger. "He's the mayor, you know."

"Thank you," said Fozzie politely. He turned to his friends and whispered excitedly, "I do know him! He was in the Bob Hope episode of the old Show. I think he was in the Roy Clark one, too!"

"You should say hi to him after the show," answered Emma. "I'm sure he'll remember working with the Muppets."

"I should," agreed Fozzie. By now, the first act was on stage and Fozzie received a number of shushing noises from the nearby audience members.

"Hi, I'm Yancey Woodchuck," said a skinny, geeky looking fellow with a banjo almost larger than himself. "And I'm gonna play Bar-b-que."

The audience groaned audibly. "He always plays Bar-b-que," said James Badger in exasperation.

"Learn a new song!" someone shouted from the audience. But Yancey ignored the heckling and plucked out the opening notes.

Fozzie wrinkled his nose. "Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. It could be a long night."

 

[christyb]

This is great! Forgive me while I go back and recap a couple of chapters. Bonsai is fabulous. I get such a kick out of him and his energy. I loved in Chapter Fourteen where you have clips of all of Fozzie's moments. I cracked up and sputtered Dr. Pepper but you didn't wanna know that when I read Pepe and Rizzo's arguement over their sketch from GMC. This is really a great story! I can't wait for more. Now onto the chapter you just posted...

They collapsed into a fit of giggles when Fozzie declared "hey, that door is filled with turtle. You should get that fixed."

This is great. A sparkle of the magic Fozzie thinks he lost. I can't wait for Fozzie to figure it out. Now onto nagging...more please!

 

[redBoobergurl]

Hey Mark! Great update! Again I can't believe how much I love Bonsai's character. I love how Fozzie is telling them what to do and that he sees magic in Bonsai. I get the feeling these guys are leading him on a path to rediscovery! It's great! Oy, and the Battle of the Bands! Wonder if they'll find anything or not! Great job, looking forward to more!