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Fozzie Bear
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2002
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Hiya,
Referring to “The Foz sez OUCH!” thread, here is the continuuing stoory of a bear who goes on vacation! The cruise was great. I had to have $600 spending cash, so I'm like WAY WAY WAY behind and more broke than normal now with bills still due. I hope they don't come for my car.
We boarded the boat in New Orleans, LA, and then we sailed for 2 days to Jamaica, where we rode horses on a now defunct plantation site, and in the ocean. On land, we rode in a single line, in the ocean we rode in 3 separate groups. By the time my group (#3) got in the ocean, it was FULL of horse crap. Yuck! We showered off and left Jamaica and stayed on the boat the rest of the day!! We found Jamaica (what parts we saw) to be very dirty and icky. Folks were nice, tho.
The next day we were at the Grand Cayman Islands, and I would move there in a heart beat if someone said, "Kev, let's move there." I don't want to go alone. We landed out in the ocean because it wasn't deep enough for our boat (Carnival Conquest, the largest boat in their fleet, it was the maiden voyage of that boat, too). The water was deep, but so clear you could see the bottom from approx 5 stories above the water (where the edge of the deck was). We rode in dinghy boats to shore, then was driven to the other side of the island where we caught a 1 hour 45 minute catamaran ride to the middle of the ocean where, at a sand bar about 4 feet below the water, we swam with sting rays!! COOL!!
The following day was in Cozumel Mexico, and so no big whoop there. The day after was a boat ride home. 
On the boat there were fantastic foods that, for the quality of food, service, and atmosphere, it would have cost $80-100 USD!! All you could eat and whatever you wanted all over the boat. They had an arcade (I finally beat the Star Wars Arcade Game!), Casino, dance clubs, bars, it was a floating city. There was live music all over.
Muley went, too. He went to Karaoke and performed Smooth, Frank Sinatra's My Way, danced with the waiters and waitresses, and performed Soul Man/Mule before a 3000 people audience (3 tiers of seating in the theater!) on stage during Guest Talent Night with a live band and came home with First Award for his performance!! The whole boat came out to see the show because the Maitre'd's at both restaurants were liking my mule and announced he'd be in the show.
Our steward who waited in our room was from Lithuania and he said they were JUST beginning to get animated films there and had become interested in cartooning, so he and I had a LOT to talk about.
It was a great trip, and I hope you both get to do it one day. The food alone is worth the price of the cruise.
Oh, yeah. I wore my Fozzie Bear tee shirt and some guy (older than me I think by a few years) made mention of it and said, “Hey, Fozzie!!” I said, “Yessir!” in Fozzie’s voice and he laughed.
From MEMPHIS, TN, to New Orleans LA it was a 6.5 hour drive down and 5.5 hour drive back. We got lost on the way down, which is why it took longer, but it was scenic.
During Muley’s Talent Show, there was going to be a monologue which he never got to do, the band began playing the song, so he just sang that and skipped the monologue. But, for your displeasure, here is the script for that monologue (I somehow hear Statler and Waldorf in the background hissing and booing):
“Hi, everyone. (to the top tier audience) Can you hear me up there? (response) Sorry. (to everyone) Hey, folks, how about this boat ride, huh? Much better than cat-fishing, don’t ya’ think? Speaking of cat-fishing, I met this girl in the hot tubs (does take), and asked her what her sign was. It said “Stop.” (do take). I enjoyed the hot tubs, except the guy cutting carrots over my head made me a little nervous! (do take). But you have to watch out for guys like me at the hot tubs, we make it steamier, cause we’re Soul Men…(Song).”
A deleted joke from the monologue was in reference to this one woman who complained about EVERYTHING the whole trip, and we sat near her in the restaurant, too, so we always heard her mouth. The joke said, “I’m enjoying my cruise, but one woman on this boat doesn’t seem to be. She just complains and is miserable. I normally would suggest pitching her overboard, but I don’t want to poison the sharks.”
It was fun and worth the price, so if you can go on a cruise, DO IT!
F
Z
Referring to “The Foz sez OUCH!” thread, here is the continuuing stoory of a bear who goes on vacation! The cruise was great. I had to have $600 spending cash, so I'm like WAY WAY WAY behind and more broke than normal now with bills still due. I hope they don't come for my car.
We boarded the boat in New Orleans, LA, and then we sailed for 2 days to Jamaica, where we rode horses on a now defunct plantation site, and in the ocean. On land, we rode in a single line, in the ocean we rode in 3 separate groups. By the time my group (#3) got in the ocean, it was FULL of horse crap. Yuck! We showered off and left Jamaica and stayed on the boat the rest of the day!! We found Jamaica (what parts we saw) to be very dirty and icky. Folks were nice, tho.
The next day we were at the Grand Cayman Islands, and I would move there in a heart beat if someone said, "Kev, let's move there." I don't want to go alone. We landed out in the ocean because it wasn't deep enough for our boat (Carnival Conquest, the largest boat in their fleet, it was the maiden voyage of that boat, too). The water was deep, but so clear you could see the bottom from approx 5 stories above the water (where the edge of the deck was). We rode in dinghy boats to shore, then was driven to the other side of the island where we caught a 1 hour 45 minute catamaran ride to the middle of the ocean where, at a sand bar about 4 feet below the water, we swam with sting rays!! COOL!!
The following day was in Cozumel Mexico, and so no big whoop there. The day after was a boat ride home. On the boat there were fantastic foods that, for the quality of food, service, and atmosphere, it would have cost $80-100 USD!! All you could eat and whatever you wanted all over the boat. They had an arcade (I finally beat the Star Wars Arcade Game!), Casino, dance clubs, bars, it was a floating city. There was live music all over.
Muley went, too. He went to Karaoke and performed Smooth, Frank Sinatra's My Way, danced with the waiters and waitresses, and performed Soul Man/Mule before a 3000 people audience (3 tiers of seating in the theater!) on stage during Guest Talent Night with a live band and came home with First Award for his performance!! The whole boat came out to see the show because the Maitre'd's at both restaurants were liking my mule and announced he'd be in the show.
Our steward who waited in our room was from Lithuania and he said they were JUST beginning to get animated films there and had become interested in cartooning, so he and I had a LOT to talk about.
It was a great trip, and I hope you both get to do it one day. The food alone is worth the price of the cruise.
Oh, yeah. I wore my Fozzie Bear tee shirt and some guy (older than me I think by a few years) made mention of it and said, “Hey, Fozzie!!” I said, “Yessir!” in Fozzie’s voice and he laughed.
From MEMPHIS, TN, to New Orleans LA it was a 6.5 hour drive down and 5.5 hour drive back. We got lost on the way down, which is why it took longer, but it was scenic.
During Muley’s Talent Show, there was going to be a monologue which he never got to do, the band began playing the song, so he just sang that and skipped the monologue. But, for your displeasure, here is the script for that monologue (I somehow hear Statler and Waldorf in the background hissing and booing):
“Hi, everyone. (to the top tier audience) Can you hear me up there? (response) Sorry. (to everyone) Hey, folks, how about this boat ride, huh? Much better than cat-fishing, don’t ya’ think? Speaking of cat-fishing, I met this girl in the hot tubs (does take), and asked her what her sign was. It said “Stop.” (do take). I enjoyed the hot tubs, except the guy cutting carrots over my head made me a little nervous! (do take). But you have to watch out for guys like me at the hot tubs, we make it steamier, cause we’re Soul Men…(Song).”
A deleted joke from the monologue was in reference to this one woman who complained about EVERYTHING the whole trip, and we sat near her in the restaurant, too, so we always heard her mouth. The joke said, “I’m enjoying my cruise, but one woman on this boat doesn’t seem to be. She just complains and is miserable. I normally would suggest pitching her overboard, but I don’t want to poison the sharks.”
It was fun and worth the price, so if you can go on a cruise, DO IT!
F
Z
