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Discussion in 'Friends and Family' started by charlietheowl, Dec 30, 2011.
Yeah winter is notorious for producing depression, with it being darker so much earlier.
That's awesome that you can make phone calls. That always seems weird for me to do. You feeling any better? Did the phone calls help?
Wow, I'm sorry about that. What happened? Just moods?
I've been very anxious today because I'm planning on telling my parents that I'm not going to do my honors thesis this semester because my depression and anxiety have made me decide that I'd be better off focusing on just my classes this semester and nothing additional. I'll still graduate and everything, I just won't have a fancy stamp on my degree or something.
I just can't muster up the required courage to broach the topic with them yet. Hopefully it will go well, once, you know, I actually talk to them about it.
I hope it goes well too charlie. That's hard telling your parents stuff like that so I understand your hesitance. I'll be praying for the outcome and for your courage.
Hope everyone is past their full-moon jitters. Ya know, suicides and injuries and crime really do go up during that cycle; must be something to it. And although I don't suffer from it (I adore gray days), I know many people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have a friend in OR who keeps a sun lamp for just that reason so she can get a little sunlight even on cloudy days.
Charlie, if you feel the honors thesis is too much, then don't put yourself through it; that little stamp on your degree means absolutely zilch in most of Outer Space. I graduated college magna cum laude...so what? It's done nothing for me, and so if going for that bit o'gold stresses you, then shrug it off! Tell your folks this is about your sanity, not your resume'!
I'd been having a high stress day already (just one of those days where nothing's really going right and, I dunno, just feeling down in the dumps) and I found out my professor was already gone for the day and I really needed to talk to him, so I guess it just pushed me over the edge.
Today's been much better for me though. Thank goodness!
I remember days like that during school. A million laughs right That's great that today was better
So I finally mustered up the fortitude to tell my mother about my depression and my decision to skip doing my thesis, and it went well. She understood my decision and said she would support me, which was nice.
That's great to hear! It's always wonderful when parents are understanding and support whatever decisions you choose to make.
That's awesome charlie! Good for you.
I know this is a little late but someone gave me some advice for how to talk to someone when you need to break something like that to them. The idea was that you sandwich your desire in between two things you can do instead or in essence two consessions that you can give, that way it's less likely to put somoeone on the defensive.
Like I said, it's a little late cuz you obviously handled it nicely. But just thought I'd throw that in.
That's an interesting strategy. I've found it's a good idea to explain potential concessions or alternatives when breaking potentially tough things to people.
I've been having some issues this week. I think a lot of it is just exhaustion from struggling to breathe so often. However, some things happened on the 'net that really irritated me, but it convinced me I was right to stop dealing with that stuff long ago. It was just so out of the blue, so unexpected ... and the brief convos I had about it were almost maddening. I don't know if I was really upset for feeling so mistreated or upset that I still get upset over something I know will never change.
I would hazard a guess that it's a little of both. Just because something keeps happening and doesn't change doesn't make it any less upsetting. I kinda with more people would understand that. This isn't targeted at you, more the people who think it's okay becaus eyou can just get over it.
Sorry about what's happening. Is there anything we can do to help? I'll be praying for you at any rate.
Thanks, but nah, I'll get over it. I feel lots better already. Of course, I'm also breathing better, too. I lost 4lbs on the "worked all day, didn't eat, and spent most of my time with labored breathing" diet, LOL. I'm hoping my days off will let my body relax.
I think I know why people like us don't get over it: because for it to stop bleeding, the knife actually has to be removed at some point. Whether it's being treated callously on the internet or dealing with narcissistic monsters of relatives, when THEY don't change, it's hard for US to. I'm actually fine and good with people who maybe didn't get along with me in the beginning but in the end we began to understand each other. What irritates me is when either the person doesn't change at all or there's a visible decline. Everyone's a part of us, and we're all a part of each other. Healing takes longer when the wounds still appear.
At some point though other people have to stop being so important to our own peace of mind.
Some people are never going to change. But I don't want to let their stubbornness cheat me out of my happiness. I've always been very adamant about that.
I think it depends on how often you are part of the situation. For example, I live with someone who often is rather verbally and physically abusive. Even though it doesn't happen all the time, the fact that everyone else seems okay to just let it happen and allow for no accountability is exceedingly frustrating. If I was exposed to someone like that for a short time, say at work, I'd still be mad that there is no or will be no change, but as long as I weren't exposed to it, I feel I would be able to move on easier.
Well you're absolutely right, if people know something like that is going on around them and are in a position to do something, it is wrong to turn a blind eye. My sympathies to you, I hope you are able to get out of that situation.
But yea, I see what you're saying about it letting us get caught up in it too much. Sorry if it sounded as if I was trying to argue with you.
No worries, you didn't sound like that at all. When physical abuse enters the picture that person is always in the wrong.
There should be a zero tolerance in this world for mental, emotional and ESPECIALLY physical abuse regardless if its from a parent, sibling, other relative or "friend". Especially a lover. Good people should not have to live under the boot of oppressive households.
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