Fan-Fic: We Know That It's Probably Magic

[theprawncracker]

Um...you know how I said I'd do three chapters...um...that's not gonna happen tonight...but tomorrow!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 8: Till Death Do Us Part

Fozzie lay in his bed. He turned on his feather pillow. His bright red alarm clock changed from 2:48 to 2:49. He lay there silently.

Next door, Sweetums snored loudly. The sound almost soothed Fozzie's ears.

UD: Interesting comparison, soothing and snoring...

You might geuss that he was nervous about the show for Kermit. Well, that was partially true. He was nervous, but not about his act. He was nervous about doing a show without Kermit.

Sure, they'd done a show when Kermit was visiting the swamp, or even when they were on the run from Lloyd Galt. But, they always had reassuring phone calls or letters from Kermit, and they knew he'd be back. But this time...

commentary: Reference!!! A reference to Lisa's fabuolous story "Destination Home."

Fozzie turned over again. This time Kermit was not coming back.

Fozzie's mind drifted. It went to the El Sleezo Cafe. So many years ago...


Uncle Deadly read over a stack of papers on Kermit's old desk. He smiled and sat it down. "Frightening," he whispered to himself. "These Muppets are so foolish, yet, their tributes rival Shakespere's work."

UD: Yes, yes they do.

"You would know wouldn't you?" Kermit phased through the floor behind the phantom.

"Indeed." Uncle Deadly said without looking at Kermit. "I did do a fabulous Hamlet in my day. And, I have met Shakespere's ghost. Very nice fellow actually."

UD: Really he is, very litteral though...

The two of them stood silently for a moment. "Uncle Deadly?" Kermit asked.

"Yes Frog?"

"Why can you have contact with the living?" Kermit asked.

commentary: That frog has a devious mind! Or...well I guess I do, I wrote it...

Uncle Deadly turned to face him. "It's quite simple actually. Because of my connection with Death, I have certain...perks, if you will. Thus, I am allowed to have contact with the living."

Kermit nodded. More silence. "What about dreams?" Kermit asked.

commentary: Deviant!

"What?"

"What about dreams? I can't have contact with them when they're awake, but what about when they're asleep?"

Uncle Deadly stared at him for a moment. "You really do think outside the box don't you Frog?" Kermit smiled. "I suppose, that if you are able to escape to their dreams, you would not technaccaly be breaking any rules." Uncle Deadly patted him on the back. "But, do remember you are not allowed to leave this theater. They must be asleep here."

UD: But, he finds a way...He always does...

"Oh I know." Kermit assured him. "I anticipated that."

Kermit phased back through the floor. Uncle Deadly shook his head and sighed. "Death." He lifted his hand in a Shakesperian angle. "Thow hath changed this frog."

commentary: Another one of my favorite quotes.


Gonzo and Floyd sat on the couch at the Muppet boarding house.

"Man, I can't believe we're doin' an act together!" Floyd said.

"I know isn't it great!" Gonzo asked. "You do know how to eat pudding through your ears right?"

Floyd shook his head. "Man, I miss Kermit." He sighed.

commentary: Everyone please bare in mind that this was still my pre-Fraggle age. I still had never seen the show.

Red Fraggle poked her head up behind the couch. So she wasn't the only one who missed Kermit. She wanted to sing. So, she did what she does best.

commentary: Have I ever mentioned that I love this song? And I had never seen it in context with the show, but I had the MP3 from Muppet Musique, I was looking for sad songs, so, I downloaded this, "Goodbye Goodbye," "Feel So Bad/Feel so Glad," and "Welcome Back Uncle Matt."

"Remember when,
Now and then,
Everything went wrong?" She sang.

Gonzo and Floyd saw her.

"And then our friends would sing,
The Friendship Song." She continued.

"Remember Red?" Gonzo asked her.
"You and I,
We'd nearly cry,
To know their love was strong,
And by and by,
We'd start to sing along."

commentary: Ironic that a Dave Goelz character sang with Red both times...

UD: Who's Dave Goelz?

commentary: Never mind...

Floyd joined in. "We sang,
Try a little longer
For your friends."

"Try a little stronger
For your friends." They harmonized.

"You work all night.
You work all day.
You still can't keep,
Those worry blues away." Red sang. She moved in between them on the couch.

"Try a little longer
For your friends.
Try a little stronger
For your friends." They sang together.

"Life goes up," Gonzo sang.
"Life goes down.
There's just one way,
To keep it goin' round."

"Try a little longer
For your friends.
Try a little stronger
For your friends." They all sang twice.

Floyd looked at them. "Remember when,
Now and then,
Everything went wrong?"

"And then our friends would sing,
The Friendship Song." Gonzo sang.

Red hugged them. "We do, we have to try longer, and stronger for Kermit." She said.

Gonzo nodded. "That's right. We have to stick together. As a family."

Red walked away. Floyd looked at Gonzo. Gonzo smiled. "Alright, let's practice..." Floyd sighed.

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 9: Family Ties

Beauregard pat stood backstage hanging posters. "9,998;" he counted. "9,999; 10,000!" He wiped his forehead. "Phew. Finnaly, 10,000 posts."

commentary: Reference!!! That's a reference to Muppet Central's own Beauregard who, at the time of writing this, just reached the 10,000 post milestone! The first ever here at MC.

"Those are posters dear." Miss Piggy told him as she walked by.

"Ri-ght." Beau said. He went back to work.

"Yo, Piggy! We all set for the show tomorrow night?" Clifford asked the pig.

"Mm hmm." She nodded as she acsended the stairs to her dressing room. "We'll do one last check before everyone goes home tonight. Oh, and could vous do moi a favor dear? Could you round up all the others for moi? Thank vous!" She walked into her dressing room.

"Sure no prob pig." Clifford walked onto the stage. "Hey ya'll get everybody into the seats!" He called.


Miss Piggy combed her long blonde hair. She always wanted to look her best. Even if it was in front of a bunch of weirdos. She put her brush back on her vanity and began to leave. Something moved. She turned quickly. She saw a note on her vanity. She picked it up. Her hands trembled. "Oh my..." her voice shook. She ran out to the stage.

commentary: Shame on that frog...

UD: But he didn't break a rule, so...

"Everyone! Everyone!" She yelled. They were all silent imediatley. Miss Piggy was shocked. "Wow, that was easy." She straightened herself up. "Anyway, I found this note on my vanity! It was from..." She stopped. The note started whispering to her.

"No Piggy." It whispered. "They can't know."

"What did de note say porkchop?" Pepe asked.

"Um...Nothing, I just wanted to tell you it was moi's grocery list. And um...not to worry, because I will be getting more milk." She nodded.

commentary: I forgot about this part...

The Muppets stared at her. "Oh no need for that dear." Gladys the Cow told her. "I've got a whole bucket right here."

"What a weirdo." Gonzo whispered to Telly.

"You should talk!" Telly told him.

"Thanks!"

"Well, now that you're out here Piggy," Scooter said. "Let's make sure everything's ready for the show tomorrow. Rowlf?"

"Ready." Rowlf held up a clipboard.

"Set?" Scooter asked.

"Go." Rowlf laughed. "Just kiddin'. Yeah, the set's ready."

"Ok, how about the instruments?" Scooter asked.

Nigel did a quick overview of the band pit. "Ready."

commentary: This is the first time Nigel has appeared in one of my stories...

Miss Piggy read the note once more. It had changed.

Dear Piggy,

Meet me here tonight after the others have left. We need to talk.

Love,
Kermit the Frog

P.S. Don't tell anyone else about this. It has to be our secret.

She folded the paper and put it in her pocket.

"Lights?" Scooter asked.

"Did somebody say lights?!?" Crazy Harry snickered. He shone the spotlight right in Scooter's face.

"Yes, thank you Harry!" Scooter yelled. Crazy Harry moved the light away from Scooter's face. "Slide show?" Scooter asked.

"Right here Mr. Scooter sir!" Bunsen wheeled in an overly large projector.

"Mee mee!" Beaker meeped acceptingly.

commentary: And now it's time for the Bunsen and Beaker invention of the story! Yay!

"Exactly Beaker!" Bunsen fiddled with the machine. "Now, would we all like to see how this works?" Bunsen asked.

The Muppets all nodded nervously. "Splendid! Now, I'll need a volunteer."

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Ernie stood up and raised his hand. "Right here doc!"

"Wonderful Mr. Ernie!" Bunsen said.

"Oh, I was volunteering Bert."

"You were what?!?" Bert asked.

commentary: Poor Bert always the butt of Ernies schemes...

"Go on Bert ol' buddy, ol' pal." Ernie pushed ber onto the stage.

"Fine." Bert walked onstage. "So what do I do?" Bert sighed.

"I'm glad you asked. Now, you simply sit in this chair here." Bunsen said. "And put this on your head." Bunsen handed Bert a metal headband with cords sticking out of it, hooked to the machine. Bert put it on.

"Now you're sure this is sa..." Bunsen flipped a switch on the machine. It buzzed and whirred. The projector clicked on and shone on the stage curtains.

Miss Piggy watched as her frog was projected on the curtains. He was at Sesame Street.

commentary: Oh dear! What happens next???

UD: You're really starting to get rather annoying...

 

[TogetherAgain]

Best line of the commentary: Who's Dave Goelz?


I applaud!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 10: A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

The Swedish Chef flipped a mallet in the air. "Dum, dee, dum, dum. Burn, de, dorn de dee. Furndishy, floordishly, flim. Bork, bork, bork!" He sang.

commentary: Remember, I have now seen Fraggle Rock and adored it! So of course the Fraggles had to be BIG in the next chapter.

UD: That's an oxymoron, Fraggles are small, yet they're big in this chapter...

commentary: Yeah well, they'll always be big in my book.

The Fraggle Five watched. "Go on Wembley!" Gobo told him. "You've got nothin' to lose."

"Yeah, except your life." Boober said.

commentary: Good ol' Boober, always lightening the situation...

"Mmm...mmy...my life?" Wembley shook.

commentary: Good ol' Wembley, always doubting and wembling...

"Don't worry Wembley you'll be fine." Mokey reassured him.

commentary: Good ol' Mokey, always-

UD: Will you knock it off?!

commentary: Oops, sorry...

"Yeah, and if you're not," Red said. "We'll make a great burial stone for ya!"

"You're not helping Red!" Gobo told her. "Fine Wembley if you won't go, I will."

Gobo walked up to the chef. "Um, excuse me sir?" Gobo asked him.

The chef dropped his mallet and a bowl broke. "Hmm?"

"Well uh, could you tell us where the others went? We were still asleep when they all left. And uh, we'd like to find 'em."

"Ooh! Dee vent oon too the fleeter. Dee vorking oon dee shoo foor dee froogy."

commentary: Well, I guess it hasn't been said here that I can't write mock Swedish, so I'm making it public knowledge...again...

They stared. "What did he say?" Wembley asked.

"Not to fear!" Traveling Matt ran into the kitchen. "I have a knack for deciphering foreign languages! Soon I should have a whole Fraggle dictionary made from this fine fellow!"

commentary: Yes! Uncle Traveling Matt is my third favorite Fraggle! Behind Cantus and Boober.

"Oh great." Boober sighed. "We'll never find the others."


Meanwhile, back at the theater, everyone watched Bert's memory project out of Bunsen's machine.

"K...K...Kermie..." Piggy said shocked. "Is that really him?"

"No actually," Bunsen said. "It's a memory of him. From Bert's memory. My new invention, the Muppet Labs Memory Projectatron instantly projects someone's memory out of the machine! Oh it sets me all a twitter!"

commentary: And there's the Bunsen and Beaker invention of the story! A trend I started back with my first fan-fic "Muppet High" where they made a diploma shooter, and in "Revenge of Elmo," they made a Muppet Labs Turn Ordinary Objects Into Cheese Ray, a Water Cooler, and a Muppet Labs Bebop 'til You Drop Machine, and in "Sometimes it's Better To Go" they made a Muppet Labs Spontaneous Combustion Formula. Phew that was alot...

"Mee mo mo me!" Beaker said.

"Exactly Beaker!" Bunsen cried. "We'll use this instead of a slide show! Everyone will take turns projecting their memories onto the curtains!"

"Man, that idea is dynamite! Heh heh!" Dr. Teeth chuckled.

Crazy Harry poked his head up from the light control center. "Did somebody say dynamite?!?" He pushed down on the dynamite plunger and blew up one of the lights.

"I'll fix the light." Clifford sighed.

commentary: REFERENCE!!! To all of Lisa's fan-fics, where Clifford fixes the lights...

"And everyone else should be getting home." Piggy told them. "It's late. And we need our sleep before the show tomorrow."

"Um, but Piggy, it's only 5:00." Fozzie said.

"It is not even my bedtime!" Grover said.

"Well..." Piggy was stuck. "Um...you all need a good hearty meal tonight as well." She nodded. "You wouldn't want to sleep on empty stomachs would you?"

commentary: She's too decieving she is!

The Muppets all agreed and got up to leave. Miss Piggy's plan was working.


"Yo pig!" Clifford pulled on his coat. "I'm out, aight?"

"Alright dear be careful on your way home!" She called from her dressing room.

"You stayin' late again?"

"Oh, yes, moi has so many things to do before tomorrow's show! Don't want any of it to be messed up!"

"Yeah well, ok, don't stay to late! You need your sleep to!" Clifford walked out the door.

Kermit watched him leave from the rafters. Oh don't worry, Kermit thought. Piggy will be getting sleep tonight. Lots of sleep.

commentary: Evil frog!

UD: No no, just misguided...

He hopped from the rafters to her dressing room door. She was dusting and straightening her room. "Oh, Kermie could be here any minute! I better hurry!" She was saying.

Kermit silently walked to her vanity. Her back was facing him. He placed a glass on her vanity. It was full of what looked to be water. But, in it was a powerful sleeping potion that would knock her out instantly. He left the room immediatly.

Piggy turned to the vanity. "There," she said. "Now all that is left is to straighten moi's hair!"

She vigourously combed, and dryed her hair. Then applied some make up. She looked like a hurricane of beauty.

commentary: Heh heh, Hurricane Piggy...

She soon finished. She panted heavily. "Phew, beauty is so hard to manage!" She huffed and puffed. "All that work makes moi desire a cold glass of water." She picked up the glass. She pulled it to her lips and guzzled it all down in one drink. She fell to the floor, asleep.


Miss Piggy opened her eyes slowly. She was in a bed. "Oh my," she said sweetly. "Where am I?" She peered out an open window across from her bed. She saw an enormous clock. It read 6:30. "And why am I up so early?!?"

She heard rattling coming from droors in a dresser to her right. "What the...?"

The droors burst open. And the Fraggle Five, Rizzo, and Pepe jumped out.

"Cinderella!" They all cheered.

commentary: Cinderella?

UD: Fabulous plot twist Ryan.

"What?" Piggy grunted.

"You're Cinderella. Ay?" Gobo said. "And we're your furry friends!"

commentary: I think that Gobo's "Ay" should be spelled "Aye" oh well, just a little problem.

"Si, and I am jour sexy king prawn. Hokay?" Pepe said.

"No you're not! You're Fraggles, and a rat, and a shrimp!" Piggy yelled.

"Well gee Cinderella," Mokey said. "Does that mean you're not gonna sing us a song?"

"What? A song? Well like what I mean come on, at least give me a beat or something."

"Can do Cinderella!" Rizzo saluted. He pulled out a harmonica and played a note on it.

Gobo grabbed his guitar, Mokey grabbed her tambourine, Boober used wash board, Red had two sticks she banged together, and Wembley played a xylophone.

commentary: I spent ten minutes trying to decide what to call Red's instrument. And I still don't like what I said...

"That's better." Piggy said.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes,
When your fast asleep.
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true" She sang.

commentary: What a good song, from Walt Disney's Classic, "Cinderella."

They cheered. "Thanks Cinderella!" Red told Piggy.

"My name's not Cinderella!" Piggy yelled.


The Fraggle Five and Traveling Matt walked backstage. "Well would you look at that, they're gone!" Boober said. "Just our luck!"

"Wait, do you hear that?" Gobo asked.

"Here what Gobo dear?" Mokey asked him.

"Shh, listen!" The Fraggles were quiet, they heard snoring.

"It's the cave monster!!!" Wembley screamed.

"Nonsense!" Traveling Matt snapped. "It's obviously the mating call of some outer space creature! Let's investigate shall we?"

commentary: I really like Traveling Matt...Not that I'll apply that in a certain story being written as we speak...Not that that certain story will be a Fraggle story...Not that I should be telling you this...

They climbed the stairs and went into Piggy's dressing room. They saw Piggy snoring on the floor.

"Or," Matt said. "It could be that Piggy has fallen asleep on the floor and is snoring!"

"Well what do we do? Ay?" Gobo asked.

"We should probably wake her up." Red told them.

"Precisley!" Matt said. He shook Piggy. "Come on rise and shine you! Wake up!" Matt stopped shaking her. "Well, after my quick examination," he said. "I have deducted that she is indeed asleep!"

commentary: Ok, more tomorrow, I need sleep...

UD: But it's Halloween! No one sleeps on Halloween!

commentary: Well, maybe you don't...But I sure do...

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 11: Fairy Tale Life

Piggy walked down the marble staircase in the castle. Her dream world was just what she wanted. "Ooh, look at all the shiny things!" She squealed. "I could throw so many lavish parties here!"

"You?" Rizzo asked. "Heh, that's hillarious Cinderella. I mean your step dads and siblings would never let you t'row a party."

"Yeah your job is to keep this place clean!" Boober told her.

commentary: And I'm sure Boober helps her keep up with that job.

"What?!?"

"Cinderella!" Someone yelled.

"Cinderella!" Another voice yelled.

UD: Enter the two old guys...

"What?" Piggy yelled back.

"I don't see breakfast in front of me!"

"With your eye sight I wouldn't doubt it!"

"No way..." Piggy walked towards the voices. She opened a large pair of doors.

"It's about time! Did you bring home the bacon?" Statler asked from a bed.

"Do ho ho ho!" Waldorf laughed in a bed next to him.

"What are you two fossils jabbering about?" Piggy asked.

UD: Well, you're not supposed to know this, but, Death says that he's going to keep then around for awhile, so they aren't fossils just yet.

commentary: Oh great...well tell Death I said thanks..

"We want our breakfast!" Statler told her.

"Come on Cinderella," Rizzo pulled at her dress. "I'll show you where da kitchen is."

"Oh boy breakfast!" Red cried.


They walked into the kitchen. "So Cinderelly, what's on de menu today?" Pepe asked.

"You expect me to cook?" Piggy asked.

"Well duh!" Rizzo said.

"Yeah, you're the chef, maid, buggy driver, grocery shoper, window cleaner," Wembley began listing.

"Ok! Ok! I get it!" Piggy groaned.

A door opened behind them. "Cinderella! We're home!" Dr. Teeth called. The entire Electric Mayhem stormed into the kitchen.

commentary: I didn't know who else I could have as the evil step siblings, I thought about Ernie and Bert, but the band seemed more fun, and I'll never know if they were or not...

"Man our hunt was awesome!" Floyd said.

"Rully brother! It was tottally groovy!" Janice said.

"HUNTING! HUNTING!" Animal chanted.

"Hey!" Piggy yelled. "You're tracking mud all over the house!"

"Thanks for noticin'." Dr. Teeth said. "Now we won't have to find you to tell you to clean it up. Heh heh."

commentary: It's awkward to see Dr. Teeth mean...

The band left the kitchen leaving Piggy with her mess.

Piggy was angry. "Grrrrr." She growled. "GAH!!! THEY EXPECT MOI TO CLEAN UP THEIR MESS?!?"

"Yes Piggy." Mokey patted her on the shoulder.

Piggy sighed.


Kermit sat in Piggy's head. He watched Piggy's dream like a mall security gaurd. He was waiting for the perfect moment. But, in between he had to make sure she didn't wake up.

UD: That frog really does have an evil side doesn't he...

If she woke up, Kermit's plan would fail.

For if she woke up, she would not be able to spend the rest of her life with Kermit.

commentary: SHIVVERS!!! Let's do another chapter!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 12: Just a Dream Away

The next morning, Scooter left the house without breakfast. He was to worried about the show toinght. He walked down the sidewalk. The crisp autumn air was blowing through the trees. Scooter rubbed his hands together, then finally just stuck them in his jacket pockets.

commentary: You see, it was FREEZING the day I wrote this chapter, so I thought I'd let everyone else know that...

Scooter looked to his left. There was a patch of charred grass, and the lone tree that stood in the middle was charred as well.

Scooter walked fasteer. He knew what had happened there.

UD: Very spooky Ryan, wonderful job.

He arived at the theater and came in backstage. He let the door slam shut behind him.

Scooter sat his things on the desk. "Gobo! Someone's here!" Wembley's voice yelled.

Scooter turned around, and saw the Fraggles peering down at him.

"Scooter come quick!" Gobo told him. "We can't wake up Miss Piggy!"

Scooter sighed. "Alright, just a second." Scooter climbed up the stairs and went into Piggy's room. He saw her collapsed body on the floor. "What happened? Why is she on the floor?"

commentary: Because she tripped Scooter duh...

"We don't know." Mokey said calmly.

"Yeah she was like that when we got here!" Red added.

"She's probably dead!" Boober wailed. "Not another!" He burried his head in Mokey's shoulder.

"Come off it Boober!" Gobo told him.

Scooter shook Piggy. She didn't wake up. He kept shaking her.

commentary: Keep shaking Scooter! Keep shaking!!!


Piggy scrubbed vigourously on the floor. Her vibrant purple gloves were beginning to tear.

The doorbell rang.

"Cinderella! Get the door!" Statler yelled.

"You might wanna get a life while you're there!" Waldorf added.

"Do ho ho ho!"

commentary: I must say that I love writing Statler and Waldorf lines, their jokes are great.

Piggy sighed. She stood up and walked to the door. She opened it and Scooter stood there in medievil clothing. "Oh Scooter!" She cheered. "It is so good to see vous!"

Scooter pushed her away. "Sorry miss, I'm afraid I don't know you." He said. "But, I am the king's messenger!" He straightened up authoritativley. "And I'm here to deliver a message!"

"Well what is it?" Piggy asked.

Scooter threw off the hat he had on. "It's time for, the king's anual ball!" He did a quick dance step. "And you're invited! And, I'll deliver the message in song!

commentary: I looooooved this part too!

UD: Yes, it was quite funny actually.

Do do do do do!
Oh, come on to our ball!
It's fun for one and all!
They'll be punch!
And apple crunch!
And a prince looking to take the fall!" He sang.

Piggy tilted her head slightly to the side.

"Of love that is." Scooter whispered.
"He's looking for the fairest maiden in the land!
Someone who is not afraid to grasp his froggy hand!
Which is why every maiden must attend!
Or,
Theywillbemetwithaveryuntimelyend!!!" Scooter finished.

commentary: Little did I know that that would become a running gag...

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I will be sure to attend sir! Thank vous! Kissy kissy!" She slammed the door on him. "At last! I have found Kermit my love! And he is a prince! Oh! What will I wear?"

"Nothing!" Statler said appearing from nowhere.

"Vous expect moi to go naked?!?"

UD: Heh...

"Please," Waldorf begged. "Our eyesight is already bad! Don't make it worse!"

"Do ho ho ho!" They laughed.

"We meant that you're not going!" Statler told her.

"What? But why?" She asked.

"Because, you're the maid!" Waldorf said.

"But the note said that every maiden must attend or theywillbemetwithaveryuntimelyend!" Piggy gasped.

commentary: Look at that gag, it's running all over the place!

UD: Boo!

commentary: Halloween was yesterday.

UD: I was booing that joke...

"Good." Statler said.

"Now, get back to work!" Waldorf yelled.

Piggy fell to her knees. "Oh mon capitan. How will I find vous now?"


Soon, Pepe had come to the theater as well. He found the others and offered his assistance.

"If de pig doesn't wake up from dis, she won't wake up from nothing. Hokay?" He said.

He pulled out his cell phone and held it to Piggy's ear. "Hokay Scooper, call me. Hokay?"

commentary: Hehe, Pepe called him Scooper on the MWoO DVD behind the scenes feature.

Scooter picked up the phone on Piggy's desk and dialed Pepe's cell phone number.

His phone rang to the tune of The Muppet Show theme. It stopped, and Piggy didn't even budge.

"Dios mio!" Pepe said. "How could jew not wake up after dat annoying ting?"

commentary: I think that might have been voted the most annoying sound or something...

"Perhaps I could shed some light on the situation for you?" Uncle Deadly swooped in from the ceiling.

"What? Did you see what happened Uncle Deadly?" Scooter asked him.

"No, but I do know what happened." He said.

Wembley's body shook. Why had he never seen this guy before? Well, the fact was, he was to short to see him playing the organ at Kermit's funeral.

UD: It worries me, when I strike fear into so many people, do my ratings rise or fall?

commentary: You get ratings?! No fair!

"You see, she's not waking up, because she does not want to." Uncle Deadly explained. "Her dream is preventing her from waking up."

"But how?" Traveling Matt asked. "Dreams can't keep you away from the reality world."

"I believe this song will assist your pathetic minds." Uncle Deadly said.

commentary: I possitively love, love, love!!!! This song!

UD: Yet you made me sing it...

"Feel the water flowing.
Feel it coming, feel it going,
In the river, in the rain or in the sky." He sang.

"One day it's an ocean,
One day ice in motion.
One day it's a tear drop in your eye.

Once he wasn't here,
And then he suddenly appeared,
And now he seems to be at home in Earth and air.

Just like water flowing,
He knows where he's going.
Look beneath your boots and he'll be there.

It's just a dream away.
You have to leave to stay.
You'll meet again someday,
Just a dream away." The phantom finished.

"Who's he?" Gobo asked.

"Fools!" Uncle Deadly yelled. "You're all fools! It's Kermit! The Frog! He's a ghost! He lives in this theater! But as of now, he's inside Miss Piggy's head, controling her dreams! If he is allowed to continue, Miss Piggy's will never awaken!" He calmed down. "Which is why, I've called for some help."

UD: And what about when I yell at people like that? How do my ratings go then?

commentary: How come I've never seen these ratings before?

 

[TogetherAgain]

<slaps self on wrist for not commenting> I read this yesterday. Annnnnnnnnnd I love it. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I'd go into detail, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I need sllep. I mean sleep. I mean..... ah, sheesh. I neef- I mean I need- sleep and food. but not in that order. annnnnnnnnnnnd I'm gonna stop muffining with my kibbitzing and go take care of those danged biological needs!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 13: Deadly Assistance

commentary: Yeah Lisa, I'd say you need sleep...so do I...so why am I doing this? I dunno...

Scooter had called the boarding house and told everyone to get to the theater immediatley.

Once they all crowded into the seats, Scooter quited them down. "Alright everybody listen up! We've got a crisis on our hands! Piggy's asleep and she won't wake up!"

"What's wrong with her?" Rowlf asked.

"She prob'ly just ate some bad guacamole." Rizzo said.

"Guacamole?" Cookie Monster sat up. "Can me dip cookies in it?"

commentary: That is so unbearably nasty.

UD: Speaking of which, I desire some popcorn and a soda, will be back. *he leaves*

commentary: Alright hurry back.

"Hey ya'll quiet down! Let Scooter finish!" Clifford told them.

Clifford: Hey, that sounded like me.

commentary: Cliff! Hey what are you doing here?

Clifford: I told ya'll I might be stoppin' by. So where's Uncle D.?

commentary: He ran off to get some popcorn and a soda. He'll be back.

Clifford: Cool.

"Thanks, that's why Uncle Deadly's here," Scooter said. "He'll tell you all what's going on."

"Oh no! Not him again!" Telly cowered under his seat.

Clifford: Heh heh, isn't that a reference to when Telly stayed with us at the dorms?

commentary: Yeah! Man, you're much better than Uncle D. was at identifying references.

"Get up you fool!" Uncle Deadly yelled at him. "Now, the reason your pig will not awaken is because her dreams are being manipulated by a certain frog you all know. Or, knew rather." The Muppets whispered to each other. "Yes, that's right, Kermit's ghost is in Piggy's head controling her dreams."

Clifford: Did I miss somethin' here?

commentary: Um...yeah...you'll just have to go back to chapter one and read from there.

Clifford: Man, I'm too tired right now, I'll just try and understand.

commentary: Good luck...

"Man that's crazy!" Floyd said.

"No, he's crazy," Gonzo pointed to Crazy Harry. "And I'm insane! Ha ha!"

commentary: He he I loved that line.

"Like are you rully serious?" Janice asked.

"Indeed." Uncle Deadly told them. "Kermit's ghost has roamed this theater since the his deathday. That Mr. Beauregard," he glared at Beau. "Is why Piggy said she sang with Kermit in her dressing room. He broke a rule. One of the most important rules. Right below eating lasagna on the third Wednesday in March." He stroked his chin. "I might want to call a meeting about that one..."

Clifford: Man, Unlce D.'s missn' his big scene.

commentary: Heh, well, his loss...Oh, and running gag continues there...

"What are you talking about Uncle Deadly?" Fozzie asked.

"Kermit is not allowed to have contact with living creatures! In fact, no ghosts are."

The Muppets all gasped.

"What about you man?" Floyd asked. "You're dead, yet you're talkin' to us."

commentary: Yeah you tell 'im Floyd! Straight up!

Clifford: There he goes trying to be cool again...

"My connections with the spirit world have given me certain perks. Although I still cannot eat lasagna in March." He sighed. "Nontheless, I have figured out a way into the pig's dream. We'll stop Kermit where he stands, and Piggy will awaken. It will not be easy, but then again, what is?" He smiled.

commentary: I'll tell you what isn't easy, trying to re-write a your own fan-fic, writing commentary for a fan-fic, doing homework, playing a video game, talking to people on the internet, eating dinner, having a family life, and breathing at the same time...

Clifford: Whoa...

The Muppets were silent. It was rather scary, the Muppets were almost never silent.

Clifford: Man, you have no idea how true that is!

"You expect us," Oscar broke the silence. "To go into the pig's head?"

"Cool!" Gonzo yelled. "Where's my scalple?"

"No you fool, we'll be using Dr. Honeydew's memory projector, and the assistance of my boss."

"My projector? How will that help us?" Bunsen asked.

"Ask questions later." Uncle Deadly told him. "My boss has arrived." He laughed.

commentary: Yes! Enter Death! MWoO ha ha ha!

Behind the seats, black flames arose from the ground. A tall figure emerged from the flames. He was adorned in a long black hooded cloak. In his right hand he grasped a long scythe. "DEADLY." The figure said with a voice that litterally brought chills to the Muppets bodies.

"Death." Uncle Deadly bowed slightly.

commentary: Oh! Now I get to tell you who's said these things!

"Elmo doesn't like it here anymore Zoe."

commentary: Elmo,

Clifford: Duh.

"Oh no! Death has finally come for me!"

commentary: Boober,

"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!!!"

commentary: Wembley,

"Super Grover will save us! Oops, wrong costume. Ha ha ha."

commentary: Grover,

Clifford: Again, duh.

"Holy apple pie!"

commentary: Sam Eagle,

"Cool scythe!"

commentary: Gonzo,

"Bawk bagawwwwwk!!!"

commentary: Camilla,

"MEEP!"

commentary: Beaker,

Clifford: Duh, duh, duh.

"Has anyone seen my contacts?"

commentary: Pops,

"Dios mio!"

commentary: Pepe,

"Hold me Prawnie!"

commentary: Rosita,

"Who's your tailor? I loooove that outfit!"

commentary: Link Hogthrob,

"This is not funny."

commentary: Aaaaaaaaaand Fozzie!

"QUIET MORTALS." Death's voice rang through the theater. All of the Muppets were silent. "LET'S BEGIN DEADLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE."

"Fright away sir." He turned to Bunsen. "Honeydew, set up your machine." To Sweetums, "You there, hairy thing, go upstairs and get the pig! As for the rest of you, pick five of you to accompany Death and myself into the pig's dream. And make haste!"

commentary: Yes, do make haste, I'm pooped...


"Cinderella?" Wembley asked Piggy who was sobbing on a wooden bench. "Are you ok?"

commentary: Ok, I have to confess something here. This was my absolute favorite part of any fan-fic I have ever written! EVER!!! I was litterally cracking myself up while writing this portion.

"No of course not!" Piggy yelled. "Everyone else in the world is at that ball, and I'm not! Now I'll never see Kermie!"

"I'm sorry who?" Pepe asked.

"Never mind. You wouldn't understand." Piggy sighed.

Wembley stared at the sky. "Hey, hey Gobo?"

"Yeah Wembely?" Gobo said.

"Have you ever seen a shooting star?"

"Yeah why?"

"Because I think there's one heading right for us!" Gobo looked in the air. A ball of light was hurling towards them.

commentary: I think Rizzo should have said that, but then again, Wembley, Rizzo, pretty much the same voice...

Clifford: That's weird ain't it?

commentary: Well no, because Steve...Oh never mind...

"Run for your..." Rizzo started to yell, but the ball of light crashed right on top of the Fraggles, Rizzo, and Pepe sending them flying.

The light cleared slowly. When it was gone, Gonzo stood there in a bright blue outfit and sunglasses. "Wow!" He cried. "What a landing!"

commentary: Ah ha ha! Gonzo the Fairy Godwhatever!

"Gonzo?" Piggy asked.

"Well, you can call me Fairy Godwhatever." Gonzo walked towards her. "After all, I am your Fairy Godwhatever. Now, what's the problem?" He sat down next to her.

"What's a Fairy Godwhatever?" Piggy asked.

"Oh, that's your problem? Well, that's about the only thing I can't answer! Ha ha!" Gonzo laughed. "Here I thought you had some huge problem or something that my magical powers could cure but..."

commentary: Ha! I love Gonzo!

Clifford: Ok, a) he's taken, and b) ew...

"Magical powers! Oh! Well then, I would like a new dress, some shoes, a carriage, a driver, a new purse to match the shoes, a chocolate eclair, and last but not least, I would like to attend the Prince's Royal Ball." She said.

commentary: That's Piggy for you...

"Wow." Gonzo scratched his head. "Well, I'm all out of eclairs and purses, but the rest I can do!" He stood up and cleared his throat. "Ahem, floggerly doggerly spew!" He pointed his hands at Piggy.

commentary: I love those magic words, I think I may use them again somewhere...

She was encompased in sparkles. Her raggedy clothes were replaced with a beautiful blue dress, and she wore glistening glass slippers.

"Oh! Thank vous Fairy Godwhatever!" Piggy hugged Gonzo. "Um, but does the dress come in something other than blue? It's not really moi's color. But the shoes are great!"

commentary: She's never satisfied...

"Sorry, it's a union thing, only blue dresses. Now, we'll need some inanimate object for your carriage, and some furry creatures for your driver and horses." Gonzo said.

"Oh! I have furry things!" She said. "Right over there on the ground. And um..." She scanned the area. She saw a lone zuchinni. "This!" She picked it up and handed it to Gonzo.

commentary: A zuchini?

"A zuchinni?" Gonzo said. "Cool! Ok, stand back as I work my magic again!" Gonzo threw the zuchinni over by the Fraggles, Rizzo, and Pepe. "Floggerly doggerly spew!" Sparkles of light flooded the area. They turned the zuchinni into a beatiful green stretch limosine. It turned Rizzo into a human driver. Pepe was turned into a man who opened the doors for Piggy. While the Fraggles turned into huge, vibrantly colored horses.

Clifford: Man, that is messed up.

commentary: Yep, but then again, Gonzo's in the scene...

"Oh! Oh my gosh!" Piggy said. "Thank you Fairy Godwhatever! Bye!" She started to run over to the limo.

"Hold it!" Gonzo yelled. "I forgot to tell you the most important part of our little deal. You must be back home by 11:49 PM." Gonzo told her.

"Are you sure it's not midnight?" Piggy asked.

"No, it's quarter to eight. Ha ha!" Gonzo laughed. Piggy stared. "Last time I let the bear write jokes." Gonzo muttered. "But seriously, I don't write the rules, I just preach them. So, go Cinderella! And have fun!" Gonzo waved. The limo drove away being pulled by the horses.

"Cute, she's a cute pig." Gonzo said. He walked over to the hole he made on his landing. "Hmm, I wonder how I get this thing to go in reverse?"

commentary: REFERENCE!!! "Cute, she's a cute pig." Is a reference to the running gag in seson 1 of The Muppet Show, they'd always say "Cute, it's a cute ____"

Clifford: Cool, well man, I'm out. I'll see you when you get back to the dorm.

commentary: Ok Cliff, bye! *he leaves and Uncle D. returns*

UD: Fright then, I'm back. What did I miss?

commentary: Every time I do commentary, every time...

 

[TogetherAgain]

<applsuae>

...I mean <applause>....

...Right, I nkow... I mean knmow... I mean know... I shouldn't try to type when I'm sleep deprived... I'm going to sleep now...