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Favorite Statler & Waldorf Quotes

Discussion in 'Classic Muppets' started by Extell, Jan 14, 2003.

  1. ToodlesTeam

    ToodlesTeam Well-Known Member

    Here's two of my favorites, even though I have no idea which episodes they're from:

    Waldorf: You never know when something funny is going to happen on this show!
    Statler: Did something funny happen?
    Waldorf: Yeah.
    Statler: You'd never know it!

    I'm not even sure who delivered each line on this one but:
    -What do they call that sketch?
    -The medium sketch.
    -The medium sketch?
    -Well, it wasn't rare and it certainly wasn't well done!
    Zoot Fan 1981 and Duke Remington like this.
  2. izzyusa

    izzyusa New Member

    First off, thank you so much for having this great community!

    I am trying to find what season and ep ends with Statler and and Waldorf saying:

    - As they say in France: adios
    - That's Spanish
    - I know. I don't speak French

    Thanks guys!
  3. Muppet Frog

    Muppet Frog Well-Known Member

    From It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie....

    Statler: Hey! The shrimp's floundering!
    Statler and Waldorf both laughing.
    Pepe: You shut up okay.
    Statler: He told us to clam up!
    Waldorf: Oh what's he want to do muscle us?
    Both laughing.
    Pepe: Don't get me steamed okay!
    Statler: Steamed shrimp!
    Waldorf: Oh pass the cocktail sauce.
    Both laughing.
    Pepe: That's it! I'm coming up there!
    Duke Remington and Bridget like this.
  4. Gonzo's Hobbit

    Gonzo's Hobbit Well-Known Member

    Statler: "It is required of every man, that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men
    Waldorf: And if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.
    Statler: To witness what he cannot share but might have shared and turned to happiness.

    I enjoy this line because the Muppet Christmas Carol was a movie in which Statler and Waldorf had a more defined role. Don't get me wrong I love them as the two wisecrckers, but it was cool to see them as Marley
  5. PurpleHonker

    PurpleHonker Well-Known Member

    “Well, how do you like the film?"
    “I've seen detergents that leave a better film than this." :sleep::boo:
  6. Quesal

    Quesal Well-Known Member

    Statler: You think there's life after death?

    Waldorf: Everytime I leave this theatre
    Duke Remington likes this.
  7. Zoot Fan 1981

    Zoot Fan 1981 Well-Known Member

  8. Scooterforever

    Scooterforever Well-Known Member

    I can't remember any specific quotes at this time, but I loved how at the end of the Hal Linden episode, after Statler and Waldorf ran the show for an episode and found it was harder than they thought, they go back to their booth and start insulting the show again:boo::sleep:.
  9. Zoot Fan 1981

    Zoot Fan 1981 Well-Known Member

  10. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    This one is from the intro sequence to the Mac Davis episode:

    :sleep:: ♫ Why do we always come here?
    :boo:": ♫ I guess we'll never know
    :sleep:: ♫ It's like a kind of torture
    :boo: & :sleep: : ♫ To have to watch the show! ♫
  11. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    From The Muppets (2011):

    [this one is from the trailer]
    :boo:: Is this movie in 3-D?
    :sleep:: Nope, the Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!


    :boo:: I'd always dreamed we'd be back here.
    :sleep:: Dreams? Those were nightmares!


    :boo:: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of important plot point.
    :sleep:: I hope so, otherwise I would've bored the audience half to death.
    :boo:: You mean half the audience is still alive?


    Jack Black: I'm being held captive by these weirdos!
    :boo:; Now you know how we've felt for the last forty years!
  12. ProboSowa

    ProboSowa Well-Known Member

    "Brilliant, brilliant!
    Laughter, laughter!
    How was it?
    About... a minute and a half."
  13. Katzi428

    Katzi428 Well-Known Member

    Boo Boo said the men in the in theater box
    Don't boogie in the barnyard!
    Duke Remington and Zoot Fan 1981 like this.
  14. Zoot Fan 1981

    Zoot Fan 1981 Well-Known Member

    Haha that is one of my ringtone choices! I love that one.
  15. Bridget

    Bridget Well-Known Member

  16. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    Duke Remington likes this.
  17. CBPuppets

    CBPuppets Well-Known Member

    Here's some of my favorites!

    Helen Reddy
    STATLER: Well I'll say this for them!
    WALDORF: What's That?
    STATLER: They don't show favoritism, they offend everyone!

    Rich Little
    STATLER: There! Now that's entertainment!
    WALDORF: That's what you said about the War of 1812!

    Paul Simon
    STATLER: Nice song!
    WALDORF: Yeah, but what did you think of the fair?
    STATLER: Well I've seen better "fares" on the bus!
  18. Great Gommzo

    Great Gommzo Active Member

    No idea which episode of the Muppet Show, but I like the one where Statler says "I've a good mind to leave this theatre" and Waldorf says "If you had a good mind you wouldn't be here in the first place!"

    Also, Great Muppet Caper as they're watching the fashion show: Statler: "Here come the bikinis - we'd better syncronise our pacemakers!"
  19. miss kermie

    miss kermie Well-Known Member

    *after hugga wugga
    Statler: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
    Waldorf: Why you old fool...
    Statler: What...?
    Waldorf: I'm not your son, and my name's not shine!
    Statler: And he calls me the old fool...
  20. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    It seems like the dialogue order is mixed up, since Waldorf opens the after-sketch dialogue by singing:

    Waldorf: ♫ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.... ♫
    Statler: Why you old fool....
    Waldorf: What?
    Statler: I'm not your son, and my name's not Shine!
    Waldorf: And he calls me the old fool.....

    The Muppets Huga Wuga - YouTube

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