Flight of the Golden Albatross: A Muppet Mystery

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Thanks a lot...I'm a huge mystery fan myself.

Now, a few more remarks from our mysterious villain.

***

Chapter Nine and a half: More thoughts

From an unidentified journal

I watch as the connector door slams shut behind Scooter, Sam and Sam’s blathering.

I shake my head and sigh wearily. Scooter, I’ll give you ten points for being a good enterprising reporter…but I’m going to deduct one hundred for being such a naïve little idiot.

The way you were hovering, both outside the station and outside my compartment, it was obvious that you were spying on me. Don’t they teach you how to be a good fly on the wall in journalism school these days?

But at least you were smart enough to make the mental connection between my code name and the one the police and media call me, I’ll give you credit for that.

And any moment now, you’ll be gabbing what you’ve heard to Kermit and the others, and Fozzie will come along and put me in handcuffs and you’ll feel like such a hero, hmm?

Not going to happen, Scooter. In fact, by dragging Sam away like that for questioning, you’ve doomed yourself and your friends.

No, wait, maybe doomed is too strong a word. But you will find yourselves in a mess that scares you out of your wits but provides me with a few good laughs…yes, that’s better.

I open my suitcase. The Indigo Eyes necklace gazes up at me in all its iridescent purple glory.

That’s right…the gem-dealing offices of Arme and Legg are just a few blocks away from Waterborne Station, on Teuer Street.

And I heard Miss Piggy mention a set of bracelets…perhaps that it’s that set of sapphire bracelets nestled beneath the Indigo Eyes…the ones with For Vous, From Moi engraved on them.

I get to my feet. I think it’s time for some of the passengers on this train to make an unexpected detour.

“Boss, what do we do?” one of the others asks me. “They’re on to us.”

“They've been onto us for at least two chapters," I reply. "Let's see...wait until we’re going through the Molehill Mountains…probably when we come upon the Failed Pass. And then…”

“Right.”

The others go off to get into place. I pick up the Albatross's box and start to make my way forward through the train.

***

Okay, the next few chapters might be a little bit slow in coming. It's just that we've got some really, really big scenes coming up, and I want to get them right. (and I've got some other things to deal with in real life, ya know)

Stay tuned...

 

[CensoredAlso]

Not going to happen, Scooter. In fact, by dragging Sam away like that for questioning, you’ve doomed yourself and your friends.

Ohhh, creepy!

I totally agree; you want to make sure the scenes get done right.

 

[The Count]

Hee... Just so long as we get a chapter 9 and 3/4 that'll be good.
Post when you can.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Indeed, more please!

 

[JEANYLASER]

YES! Please I want more!

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

The fans have spoken, so here is chapter ten. Chapter eleven will be along as soon as possible. But things start to get scary in this one...

***

Chapter Ten: A View to a Spill

From the case files of Kermit T. Frog, P.I., P.D., W.T.H. (What the Hey), Licensed to Croak

I looked up from Better Logs and Lilypads at the sound of Sam making a lot of noise over something.

The door flew open and Scooter came running in, dragging a protesting Sam behind him.

“I demand an explanation!” Sam snapped, wrenching his wing out of Scooter's hand.

“Scooter, what’s going on?” I asked.

“Kermit, I overheard some guy back at the station in Waterborne making a phone call…”

“Yeah, and?”

“He’s Percy the Pincher!”

I frowned. “Wait a minute. Sam is Percy the Pincher?”

Sam pursed his beak and sighed with indignation.

“No! The guy he was eating lunch with and chatting with. He’s Percy the Pincher, I know it!” Scooter protested. “Tell us about him, Sam!”

Heads started to poke out of the other compartments.

“How do you know? Did you see this guy holding the Albatross?” I asked Scooter.

“No, but…”

“At any point, did he mention the Albatross?”

“No, but he was speaking in code, and…”

“And did he make any remarks about how easy it was to steal the Albatross?”

“No! But Kermit, I tell you…”

“Will you guys keep it down? I’m getting my beauty sleep,” Link murmured from his compartment.

“Oh, shut up, stupid,” Miss Piggy muttered.

“Scooter, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any proof,” I said sadly.

But Scooter was still agitated. “Kermit, please, you’ve got to listen to me!”

Miss Piggy leaned over and squeezed Scooter’s shoulders. “Oh, Scooter, we can’t say you didn’t try to help…but Kermie’s right. We don’t have any real proof that the man you saw was Percy the Pincher.”

“You most certainly don’t have any proof!” Sam blustered. “In addition to your nearly tearing my wing from its joint, I am appalled that you would think Percival Morton is a thief!”

Skeeter frowned. “Percival? His name is Percival?”

“Yes…he is a businessman who works in east Greater Burden, he tells me. And he is very knowledgeable on politics and modern social norms.”

By now, the others were listening very intently.

“Go on,” I prompted.

“He is a very efficient man…where most of the weirdoes on this train would haul ten different trunks and boxes with them, his luggage consists only of one suitcase, and an interesting-looking box.”

An interesting-looking box?

“What color is it?” Skeeter demanded.

“Mmm…don’t see why you’d want to know that, but it’s green, and lacquered, and fastened with a gold padlock, and it appears to contain an object of some weight.”

“Did he ever show you what was in the box?” I asked, now as much on edge as Scooter was.

“Of course not! It is not my place to pry," Sam said indignantly.

That box could only hold the Golden Albatross. And now we had to act before the train got to Greater Burden…only an hour away.

“Fozzie, go get an arrest warrant,” I said.

“But Kermit, I don’t think…”

“Guys?” Nora asked.

“Fozzie, you’re a cop, you have authority!”

“But Kermit, I’ve only just been promoted…”

“Guys?”

I went on, “And we can’t sit here twiddling our thumbs and…”

“Guys!”

“What is it, Nora!” I shouted.

“Uh, is it just me, or does the scenery look kind of funny?”

“What do you mean, does the scenery look kind of funny?” I shouted again.

“I’m telling you, it does…like it’s going backwards or something.”

“It’s the mountain air; it’ll do that to you,” Gonzo replied as he went back to reading Body Cast Monthly. But Camilla was starting to cluck nervously.

“No, guys, I don’t think it’s the air…” Nora replied uneasily.

Skeeter leaned over and peered out the window. “Hey, Nora’s right…is the train going backwards or something?”

Sure enough, in the oncoming dark, we seemed to be moving back down the mountain.

The train let out an oddly distant whistle.

“Funny…the whistle seems to be getting farther and farther away…” Scooter murmured. We also seemed to be picking up speed.

“Well, maybe we can go forward and see what’s going on.” Fozzie opened the door. “AAAH!” he screamed, over the roar of rushing air.

We all ran forward, looked out the door, and screamed in kind.

“AAAH!”

Our car had uncoupled from the rest of the train, and it was rolling backwards down a long side track…toward the crags of Failed Pass.

***

(ominous music)

Need I say, readers and Muppet fans, stay tuned?

 

[The Count]

Ah... The ol' severance package. Yes, that'll do you for a neat little demise. Though the benefits are few and far between, you do get a quick pay-out. Maybe part of that pay-out will be the next chapter. Oh well, c'est la viv.

*Counts tickets and Muppet nomme de plumes.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Eek, runaway train! The suspense! Must have more!

 

[JEANYLASER]

Yeah! I want to read alot more!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Yeah, now that's what you call a real cliff-hanger!
I can't wait to see what happens next!
One question though. Don't you think speculating on the involvement of ghostly chickens in the robbery is more of a Gonzo thing? Also very glad you included a bit of fraggle dialog, as well as including Doc and Sproket on this trip.

More please!