Hensonville City 2011

------------
Pssst!

Rhonda *pokes head out of bathroom* What?

Aaagh! Monster!!

Rhonda: Cute. Cute joke. *grabs a towel and wipes cucumber masque off her face, then realizes the Muppet is serious* Oh calm down, sunshine. Didn't your mother ever do a beauty routine?

She did frowning exercises.

Rhonda: WHAT exercises?

To strengthen the scowling muscles...you know...like this. *he contorts his face*

Rhonda: You.
Are.
So.
Weird.
Anyway, whaddaya want? I'm a little busy!

Er...have you seen our roommate around lately?

Rhonda: Who, Kris? Yeah...she hauled outta here cackling about rocking. I dunno. Something about writing eleven pages on four hours' sleep. Why?

Oh. Oh good. That's good, right?

Rhonda: If a girl doesn't mind winding up with baggy eyes like you got, nah, it's fine.

I do not have -- forget it. Look, um...is that story still on her laptop?

Rhonda: She's still workin' on it, so yeah. *beat* Are you actually going to probe the deepest recesses of fan fic? Are you sure you can handle that, Walter Mitty?

Why are you calling me Walter? *beat* I didn't know his last name was Mitty. I'll make a note of that.

Rhonda: Listen...you cannot go rooting through her computer to read that stuff! It's...it's...it's an ethics violation! It's what Fleet would do -- probably has done a million times already! It's an insult to your roomie who has a huge crush on you!

Look, I'm not going to root anywhere, just see what's open on the desktop, because I heard that --what? WHAT?

Rhonda: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Now go away; me and the Veet got an appointment to keep! *slams bathroom door*
------------

-----------
Spiced pineapple! yayy! Thanks Ed! NOM nom nom nom...

Rhonda: Sheesh. You gonna share that?

*singing softly* Share it maybe...

I am actually going to take a look at that drek, yes...strictly for research, to see what nationality these Rom are from. But agree with you that ALL reality TV should not only be banned, it should be sunk into the Marianas trench. Or the Triangle. *sigh* That was a fun show...

Rhonda: Were you up all night watching that Triangle thing?

Just 'til 2.30. I couldn't sleep.

Rhonda: Riiiight. It wouldn't have anything to do with your Sam Neill crush.

You got cookie...huh? *shocked* You...crush...

Yes, well, ummm...but like the song says...love the Muppet you're with?

I...I have no idea what to make of you...

Hmm. *vetoes about 3 dozen suggestive comments* Uh...I'm sure you'll come up with something, Newsie. I could happily be putty in those cute felted four fingered hands...

*suddenly notices* You DON'T have four fingers! You have five! You...you're not...not a Muppet!

Rhonda: Oh bruddah.

Ummmmm.....
no.
That's not a problem, right?

No wonder you're so tall...eep...
------------

--------------
Arrrggghhh!

Rhonda: Uh oh. *darts out of the way of a thrown notepad* Uh, everything okay up there, Miss Scowly?

Just frustrated. I just learned that "Alcatraz" will be released on dvd this October...I hate it that the show was canceled without us ever learning the secrets! Why can't they make it into a graphic novel at least, and continue the story, so at least I can know if my theory about the '63s is right?

I think they're taking over the country. That's why the map showed them all over.

*blink* You watched the show? I thought it was too sca---uh, I mean, not your cup of tea?

Well, you talked about it so much, I, er...may have seen a few episodes...

Newsie...did you watch it just because I was a fan?

Um. Well. I just felt perhaps I ought to broaden my viewing tastes a bit.

Rhonda: Ya mean watching more than the news?

I do not only watch news!

Rhonda: Really. Name me ONE thing you've seen in the past MONTH that wasn't news-related. *tapping foot*

Um...

Rhonda: Didn't think so.

*snaps fingers* The fireworks display in NYC! And...and...um...that program about Zumba fitness.

Rhonda: That's an infomercial, you idiot.

There's nothing wrong with learning about methods of keeping in shape!

Rhonda: Or watching cute girls' butts.

Wha --I -- er-- *blushing* I have work to do! *stomp stomp stomp SLAM*

Wow.

Rhonda: There ya go. He does have a pulse.
-----------------

Ellie: Guys I'm back...Wow...*notices the apartment is very clean* This is a surprise!

Bert: The three of us did a lot of cleaning while you were gone.

Ellie: I come bearing gifts! *hands Bert a stuffed pigeon dressed in colonial attire*

Bert: Thanks Ellie, this pigeon is a very sharp dresser.

Ellie: Its not everyday a pigeon rocks a wig and silk stockings!

Ernie: Ellie! How was your trip? And where did you go exactly?

Ellie: I was in Virgina, I didn't love it, but, I had bits and pieces of a good time. Oh, this is for you! *hands Ernie a rubber duckie in a powdered wig*

Ernie: Look at that, Rubber Duckie has a friend now! *takes out Rubber Duckie and squeezes both ducks so they can converse* Rubber Duckie says thank you for his new friend!

Ellie: You're both welcome! Where's Susie?

Susie: *enters wearing a hazmat suit and lowers the helmet* It wasn't all that clean after you left...A lot of things exploded in the kitchen, there was the fiasco with the Jell-O mold and...

Ellie: Jell-O mold?

Bert: Don't ask.

Ernie: *nods in agreement* Unless you'd really like to know the story!

Ellie: I'm okay thanks! Susie, this is for you! *hands her a small rubber pig and a pink paper* That is called a gluckschwein, which means good luck pig! I thought you'd like it!

Susie: Oh it's adorable! *holds mini pig in her hand* I think I'll name it Pledge!

Ellie: Like the cleaning agent?

Susie: Yes! Pledge can go with my other good luck charms!

I wanted to, but we didn't because my dad's fiancee is no fun D<

Ailie: -digging through a box of Cookie Crisp-

Sam: Would it trouble you to get a bowl?

Ailie: It would. :B

Sam: Eugh...

Zoot: -drinking out of the milk carton-

Ailie: Hey! Save some for me!

Zoot: Huh? Uhhh, sorry...
-puts it on the table-

Ailie: -stares at empty carton- :I

Blind Pew: 'Ow can zyou eat zat garbage?
-pushes cereal away and proceeds to make a squid sandwich-

Stanley plays an ear-splitting guitar solo; Wayne, wearing a long night gown and sleeping cap, runs into room.

Wayne: Cut it out! CUT IT OUT!

Stanley: *hisses*

Wayne: You maniac! I'm trying to sleep!

Stanley throws down guitar; he grabs Wayne by the neck and pulls him close, shouting in his face.

Stanley: WE DON'T BRUSH OUR TEETH, 'CAUSE OUR TOOTHACHE CAN HELP US STAY MEAN! *shakes Wayne* WE DON'T BRUSH OUR TEETH, 'CAUSE OUR TOOTHACHE CAN HELP US STAY MEAN!

Stanley lets go of Wayne; the singer drops to the floor, trembling.

Floyd: *enters* Hey man, wanna jam with us?

Stanley: With who? I ain't jammin' with that! *gestures to Wayne*

Floyd: *laughs* What happened to him?

Stanley: He fell down.

Floyd: Really? How did--

Stanley: That's all ya need to know.

Floyd: Groovy. Grab your ax and follow me.

Stanley picks up guitar and follows Floyd.

Sam: -yelps, hearing the guitar solo from next door-

Zoot: Huh?

Sam: That isn't music! It's noise!

Zoot: ...

Sam: Rock and roll was created by heathens! Heathens, I tell you!

Dr. Teeth: It ain't rock and roll, man. It's just rock 'n roll!

Sam: How dare you use improper grammar!

Dr. Teeth: Oh, I dare! :3

Ailie: WEASEL! Let me love you!
-runs out the door and tackle-hugs Stan-

Floyd: Come on in, man.

Stanley: You don't live here.

Floyd: So? *laughs*

Stanley is tackled by Ailie.

Stanley: Who's this?

Floyd: Your first groupie?

Stanley: Who's the buzzard what won't shut up?

Floyd: He don't matter.

Walter: Hi Stan!

Stanley: I got a groupie! :3

Walter: I see!

Stanley: Will someone tell that buzzard to shut up?

Floyd: Yo Sam! Put a cork in it!

Ailie: -clinging to Stan-
Weeeeasel...

Sam: You'll have to excuse her. She has an odd obsession with...ahem, your kind. How anyone could like weasels is beyond me.

Ailie: YEW GOT A PROBLEM WIT THAT, VALIANT?

Sam: -pokerface-
I am not a common buzzard, thank you! I am an eagle and--

Blind Pew: Food?

Sam: Pardon me?

Blind Pew: Zyou zmell like food to me!

Sam: Back, you fiend! I'm armed!

Blind Pew: HAW! Weeth what?

Sam: -holding up a banana-
...this is inconvenient.

Dr. Teeth: -laughs-

Spamela: -wanders in-
Hi Walter!

Stanley: What do ya mean, "my kind"? Got a problem with weasels, do ya? Ya wanna go? Right now, right here?

Floyd: Buzzard, eagle. Don't make no difference.

Walter: *gasps* Okay. You can do this, Walter. Be cool. There's no need to go crazy or faint. *to Spamela* Why hello--

Walter starts screaming, and runs around the room.

Wayne appears.

Wayne: I want to tell you that evil weasel is on the--

Stanley: *spins around and shoves Wayne's sleeping cap over his head* Shut up, ya fool!

--------------
Here is a Muppet News Flash! Rabid weasels have taken over the Hensonville Towers! They are demanding one miiiillion dollars in cash, two Christmases each year, and a hug from Mommy every night. If their demands are not met, they will blow up the towers, and vow they will take John McClane down with them if it's the last thing they --

Rhonda: Goldie.

*whispering angrily* Rhonda, I am trying to give an urgent news bulletin! Now please be qui--

Rhonda: Goldie...that's not a news bulletin. That's like five different jokes rolled into one report.

But...what? You...you mean this isn't actually news? This isn't actually TRUE?

Rhonda: Not unless the weasel looks like Alan Rickman, it ain't.
-----------

Ellie: Ow...ow...ow...*has ice packs on her hands*

Bert: What happened to you?

Ellie: Too much gaming...Susie hid all the controllers for now, until the swelling in my hands goes down I can't play again according to her.

Bert: How long did you play for exactly?

Ellie: Give or take 6 hours, I had to keep the evil ninjas at bay!

Bert: This is why I stick to reading...*picks up a book*