Chapter 19
Uncle Deadly dragged his broken and beaten self over to the wall. He propped himself carefully against the bricks and drew his knees to his chest. His pointy blue knees protruded from his pin-striped pants, and the cold air nipped his knees.
The cold.
That was all he felt. The air freezing his dead phantom skin. It was, needless to say, freezing.
The frigid air turned Uncle Deadly into a moaning blue phantom. The air was part of it at least.
Now the thoughts of Benny Vandergast grasping Death’s scythe with his gray fingers brought feelings of burning rage to Deadly’s mind. Unfortunately, it didn’t warm the phantom at all.
What could he do? He couldn’t go back in the theater, he wasn’t even supposed to be out of the theater! He had nowhere to go, no home away from home, no relatives, nowhere.
What was going to happen to him? Normally the consequences for leaving the theater was loss of afterlife on Earth. But now without Death to uphold the rules...
There’s an old saying Deadly had once heard, going something like "He who holds the scythe, holds power." The phantom pondered the saying, he didn’t know exactly what the saying applied to, he just hoped it wasn’t him.
The specter knew he couldn’t take a chance, he hauled himself onto his clawed blue feet. Pain jolted through his knees, his ankles, his entire lower half for that matter. The fight with Benny hadn’t left him in very good shape.
It didn’t matter, he ran, ran from the alleyway, and ran. This phantom had to beat feet, and wherever his beat up feet could get him in his feet beating excursion, had to be better than the alleyway.
<X>X<X>
"Look at that Ritzo, Kermin’s going into convulsions, hokay?"
"Ooh yeah. ...T’ink he wants his stereo?"
"Kermit doesn’t have a stereo man."
"Party pooper."
Kermit pulled down on Fozzie’s neck-tie. "How Fozzie?!" he groaned. "How could I let this happen?!"
Fozzie frowned as his best friend yanked his tie. "Kermit, Robin will be fine!" Fozzie grabbed Kermit’s arms. "But if you don’t stop stretching my tie I may not be."
Kermit’s fingers slowly let go of the polka-dot cloth. "I’m sorry Fozzie."
"No, you’re Kermit," Fozzie straightened his tie.
The frog smiled for the first time in twenty minutes, which was unusual for a constantly smiling frog.
"Robin will be fine Kermit, you’ve just got to believe frog of my heart." Fozzie patted Kermit on his back and grinned.
"So does dat mean I don’t get da stereo?" Rizzo asked.
"Puh-lease!" Sam shouted. "If
anyone would get Kermit’s stereo, it would be me."
"Says you boid brain!" Rizzo shouted back.
Kermit frowned. "If anyone would get Kermit’s stereo, it would be Kermit."
"Not even if dere were insinuating coicumstances?" Rizzo asked.
Kermit scrunched up his face.
"Aren’t insinuating circumferences painful?" Beauregard asked.
"You are a complete idiot," Sam told him.
"Oh, thank you birdy," Beau told the eagle. "I feel the same way about you!"
Clyde shot up. "And I feel the same way about Miss Piggy!"
"And Miss Piggy’s elbow’s gonna feel real great in your chest..." Butch warned.
Piggy shot up in the seat behind the two companions. "Watch it you two! I haven’t had any love from Kermit this entire trip, so moi am
not in a good mood!"
"Dr. Teeth?" Kermit asked the driver.
"Yes my amphibian amigo?"
"Are we there yet?"
>X<X>X<
"Which way Scooter?!" Skeeter shouted at her twin.
"Straight!"
"Are you sure?!"
"No!"
"WELL WHY NOT?!"
"Because I like messing with you!"
Skeeter bopped Scooter on top of his head. "Straight?!"
"Yes," Scooter muttered, rubbing his head.
"Straight Clifford!" Skeeter yelled at the co-host driving next to her.
"Yeah, I know, you’ve been shoutin’ it right in my ear!" Clifford said.
"Are you saying I yell?!"
"Well you have been since we got in the car!" Clifford moaned.
"And what is
that supposed to mean?" Skeeter demanded.
"It means I’m scared of ya Skeet! Calm down so I don’t drive through a wall!"
Scooter muttered. "We break down enough walls in these stories already..."
"Quiet!"
"Yes ma’am."
<X>X<X>
J.P. Grosse lay on the floor of the warehouse closet for hours. If his heart wasn’t still beating, he would’ve been dead. His body had basically shut down besides his heart and his brain of course, thanks to Benny’s serum.
Where had Scooter gone?
Without his nephew, he was completely alone in this world. But, that was normal in the life of a business tycoon. Always alone, alone with the money.
J.P. felt like Ebenezer Scrooge, and he silently hoped that he’d get three ghosts to get him out of this place.
Ghosts. That’s what started this whole thing, Uncle Deadly, Benny Vandergast, ghosts. If Benny hadn’t approached him all those years ago...If Deadly hadn’t warned him...
And now this was happening. His nephew was gone, most likely in danger, Kermit and the other Muppets were off on some vacation, probably being followed by Benny’s spies, Uncle Deadly was at the theater, almost certainly having to defend it from the invasion of Benny.
It was all his fault. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would’ve happened. If he hadn’t have come back from Florida, none of this would’ve happened. If he would’ve just given into Benny way back then, none of this would’ve happened.
But...If he had given into Benny, so much more wouldn’t have happened. Without the theater the world would know nothing of the Muppets, no Kermit, no Miss Piggy, nobody. That, and J.P. would have very little money without his biggest property.
Yes, as much as he hated to admit it, the Muppets drew in the most cash of anything he owned. But he would never tell them that, gotta keep the clients on the edge, never let them know how good they really are.
As if the Muppets didn’t already know.
And if the Muppets didn’t have their theater, so much wouldn’t have happened, Scooter wouldn’t have found Skeeter, Statler and Waldorf would have nothing to do on Thursday nights, Bunsen would have nowhere to operate his inoperable inventions, Fozzie would still be getting beat up by drunken sailors, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem would have no gigs, at all, ever, and Gonzo wouldn’t have found his family if they hadn’t seen a transmission of "The Muppet Show" from Earth.
J.P. silently reassured himself that he made the right decision.
His ears became suddenly alert when he heard a car door close outside the warehouse. It was either Benny, or...He didn’t know, but he hoped it wasn’t Benny.
>X<X>X<
Robin practically bounced out of the sidecar attached to Polly’s motorcycle as the bikes followed the slowly approaching Electric Mayhem bus.
"Calm down pollywog, we’ll get there." Polly told Robin.
"Oh I know, I just can’t wait to see my Uncle Kermit again!" Robin bounced some more.
"Yeah, neither can I," Polly laughed.
"What’s so funny?" Robin wondered aloud.
"Uh...Uh..." Polly fidgeted with an answer. "Dat twit of a bear’s jokes?"
"No," Robin shook his head.
"Oh," Polly said. "Drat."
Robin sat quietly in the sidecar and pondered whether Polly was really a friend worth trusting. "Oh well," the frog thought. "Uncle Kermit’s right up there."
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