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Old Friends Who've Just Met

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. Leyla

    Leyla Member

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Prawnie, that commentary's hysterical!! I love it, I hug it!!!! YAY!!!!

    Yeah, who? I dunno!!!!!!

    Awww.... <giggles> I love Gonzo!

    <giggles><claps> So funny!!

    Hah! I loved that dialogue!

    HAHAHAHA!!! Yes, so true!!! <loves Gonzo's mad genius> <has spent too much time studying the arts> Believe me, Gonzo wouldn't stand out all the much from the madness in my old degree program.

    <giggles> Oh, I dunno about that. ;)

    <loves the pig bashing> You always do it with love, Prawnie. Don't think I don't know about your Piggy love!

    Oh, fantabulous!!!! Very, very funny!

    <giggles> You're getting heckled by Gonzo!! <loves that so much!>

    Alright, I gotta get back to working on Something.
  2. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Um...Um...:halo: I swear I have no idea what the poor dear is talking about...

    And yes, do get on with Something...
  3. Leyla

    Leyla Member

    <grins> Uh huh. It's funny... no one EVER knows what I'm talking about when ushy gushiness comes up, or pig love... it's the darndest thing.
  4. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Laughing at Christy down in hole... Team Rocket was here! Now hand us your Pika...
    Oh sorry, wrong story.

    Prawny, love the commentary. But just one question.
    When Rowlf breaks up the fight after Piggy's solo number with the gband... Where's the MWoO reference? Didn't spot it.
    And post more soon. And that goes double for all you fanfic writers out there reading this that haven't finished their stories yet!
    Aaaah... Look out for the nagger!
  5. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Ah, well you see it is a very minor reference. It's actually the same line that Uncle Henry said to Dorothy and Aunt Em "Okay, that's the round back to your corners." And yes, more soon.
  6. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Oh yes... Now I see it. Good, more soon. Just hope Gonzo's recovered enough. Whatever you do, don't let that whatever read The Great Desire... Unless you think he can handle it.
  7. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Well, he'd probably enjoy handling it...He has handled radioactive waste and porcupines at the same time before...He does like pain.

    Hehe, anyway, prolly more in about an hour or so.
  8. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 2

    Kermit the Frog leaned on his silver putter at Goelz Golf and Government Surplus.

    Me: REFERENCE!! To Mr. Dave Goelz.

    Gonzo: Who?

    "Kermit, if you sink this next put you’ve beat him!" Fozzie Bear whispered to the frog.

    Both Fozzie and Kermit were dressed in golfing garb. Kermit stared at the 18th hole, sinking this put would mean more than beating him, it would mean a weekly news spot on Disney Channel with all of the Muppets, and Kermit could not miss this chance.


    Me: REFERENCE!! A big one to what Beauregard and I affectionately called, "The Thing." I found it on YouTube, totally cool, but it’s been removed.

    Gonzo: I don’t understand any of this.

    "Alright Iger," Kermit said to a tall man pulling a golf ball out of the hole. "This is it, this put decides it."

    Bob Iger smiled at Kermit. "Alright Kerm, good luck."

    Gonzo: Ooh, Bobo Iger!

    Me: That’s Bob Iger.

    Gonzo: Says you.

    Kermit smiled back. "Ok Fozzie, grab the flag."

    "Yes sir!" Fozzie said as he ran to the hole and removed the plastic flag.
    Kermit stared down at his tiny white ball and let the tip of his putter tough the green. He concentrated deeply. Put the ball in the cup. I am the ball. Put me in the cup. Kermit shook his head and slightly brought back his putter. Just as he began his soft decent onto the ball, the Muppet Show theme tune broke the deep concentrated silence and caused Kermit to send his ball flying into a nearby water hazard.

    Kermit lowered his head and sighed. "Fozzie I thought I told you to put that on vibrate..."


    Me: Typical Fozzie...Speaking of Fozzie, I really tried to make him a big player in this fic. I think I’ve sorta left him on the cutting room floor in my other fics.

    "Sorry Kermit, I must’ve forgotten," Fozzie said grabbing his pink-polka dot tie with his left hand and holding a lime green cell phone with his right. He let go of his tie and answered the phone. "Hello?" he said into it.

    "Tough luck Kermit," Mr. Iger said. "Better luck next time my friend," he looked at his watch. "And I have to catch a plane, so long," he said walking off the green and onto a golf cart.

    Gonzo: With that tongue, no way!

    Me: ...You’ve tried to catch a plane with your tongue haven’t you Gonzo...

    Gonzo: Yup!

    "Bye Bob, see you next week," Kermit said. He turned his attention back to Fozzie. "Something wrong Fozzie?" Kermit asked as he saw Fozzie acting more nervous than usual.

    "Kermit, it’s Gonzo," Fozzie said blankly.

    Gonzo: Yeah, it’s been me this whole time.

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Kermit and Fozzie ran into the hospital still dressed in their golfing clothes and out of breath. Inside the waiting area a loud and furry group of creatures sat, some pacing, some dancing, most stunned.

    Gonzo: Hospital?

    Kermit walked around ducking and dodging boomerang fish and explosions looking for Miss Piggy or someone who knew what had happened. But before they could be found, a small dark green frog ran up and hugged Kermit. "Uncle Kermit, Uncle Kermit!" the young frog called.

    Kermit patted his small head. "It’ll all be okay Robin," he comforted his nephew. "It’ll all be okay." Kermit hugged him back and grabbed his hand. "Where’s Miss Piggy?"

    Gonzo: Okay? What’s gonna be okay?

    Me: Um...Just try not to faint again Gonzo...

    Robin wiped his eye and pointed with his free hand. "She’s over there with Rizzo, Rowlf and Scooter," he said.

    The two frogs and Fozzie walked over to where Miss Piggy, Scooter, Rizzo and Rowlf sat around a coffee table, just as Robin had said. "Kermit," Rowlf said surprised.

    Miss Piggy hopped up and charged into Kermit. "Oh Kermie," she wailed as she hugged him around his neck.

    Gonzo: That poor, poor frog...

    Me: Those poor, poor ushy gushy writers...

    Fozzie walked over and sat next to Scooter. "How...How could this happen?" Fozzie asked rhetorically, shaking his head.

    Gonzo: WHAT happened??

    Once Piggy had let go of him, she and Kermit sat down and Kermit lifted Robin onto his lap. "Don’t worry guys," Kermit reassured them. "We’ll pull through. We’ve faced hardships before."

    "But Kermit," Scooter spoke up. "None of us have been seriously hurt before. I mean Gonzo could-"

    Gonzo: WHAT?!

    Rizzo began to sob into Rowlf’s furry arm. "Not my buddy," he wailed. "Not my best friend!"

    Fozzie stopped him, he put his hand on Scooter’s shoulder and shook his head. "No," Fozzie said plainly. "No."

    Gonzo: No, no what?

    The group sat quietly for awhile before Clifford walked up to them carrying two styrofoam cups of coffee in his purple hands. "Hey Kerm, hey Foz," he said. "I woulda brought you coffee too, but uh, I only got two hands. Not that it would be uncommon for me to have more around here..."

    Kermit smiled, Rowlf chuckled lightly. "Did the nurse say how he was doing?" Rowlf asked.

    Clifford sighed and handed Rowlf a cup of the coffee. "Yeah, nurse said he was in a deep coma," Clifford said quietly and cautiously. "She says...Well...No one knows when he’ll come out of it."

    Gonzo: YOU PUT ME IN A COMA?!?!

    Me: Um...

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Camilla was allowed into Gonzo’s room by the doctor. She walked into room 81A where a bed sat in the middle of the right wall. In the bed, Gonzo lay silently with casts on both his legs and his right arm, and a sling on his left.
    Camilla moved to the bed side and lay her head upon Gonzo’s chest. A small tear slipped from her eye. "Baguck," she clucked quietly. She rubbed his chest with her wing softly. "Buck buck," she sobbed.

    Gonzo: How could you do this to my little chicky poo? She’s gonna have a peck with you when we get back to the dorm...

    A nurse softly knocked on the door "Excuse me miss," she said. "Visiting hours are ending."

    Me: Oh silly me...I never gave that darling nurse a name...

    Camilla removed herself from the bed and walked towards the door. The nurse placed her hand on the chicken’s back. "He’ll be just fine miss," she said. "And just know that I’m pulling for him. And for you."

    Gonzo: At least SOMEONE cared that I was in a coma...

    Me: Oh don’t worry, I did. It was a great plot device.

    Camilla sniffed. "Buck buck bawk," she clucked thanking the woman. The nurse patted her back once more and walked away. Camilla silently returned to the waiting area with her friends.

    * * * * * * * * * * * *​

    Gonzo floated in a dark area. It was completely black, he was lost. "Where am I?" he asked the air. "Am...Am I dead?" he asked quietly. He hoped he wasn’t dead. Death was the big bang, the final show, the last act! He couldn’t have ended his legacy shooting through an ice sheet! His final ride had to be big. Real big.

    Gonzo: Ooh yeah, it does! I’ve already started planning it...I’ll spare you the details, but just know that if you’ve ever wanted to go to Czekoslavakia, the time to do it would be before I died...

    "No," he shook his head. "I’m not dead."

    There was no speculation in his voice. He knew this for a fact. He didn’t know how. He just knew.

    Suddenly, a spark of light appeared. Head toward the light. Gonzo heard a voice say. "Well," he said. "I’m not dead yet," he shrugged as he moved toward the spark.

    The light grew larger as Gonzo moved forward, he knew he was heading in the right direction. The light enveloped the once dark area, then slowly cleared away revealing a wooden stage with magenta curtains.

    Gonzo looked around. "The theater?" he said quietly. "What am I doing here?"

    Gonzo: About seven knots.

    Me: *headsmack*

    The familiar theme song began to play and out danced five female Muppets.

    "It’s time to play the music" they sang in harmony.
    "It’s time to light the lights
    It’s time to meet the Muppets
    On the Muppet Show tonight!
    " they danced off stge.

    Five male Muppets danced on stage from the opposite end singing as well.

    "It’s time to put on make-up
    It’s time to dress up right
    It’s time to raise the curtain
    On the Muppet Show tonight!
    "

    The curtains opened to reveal Fozzie’s opening joke. Gonzo realized he was floating above the Muppet Show’s first season.

    Me: You know I didn’t have Fozzie’s joke in there because I was too lazy to pop my DVD in and listen for one...

    The curtains drew close and Kermit danced onto the middle of the stage.

    "To introduce our guest star
    That’s what I’m here to do
    So it really makes me happy
    To introduce to you
    Peter Ustinov, yay!
    "

    The curtains opened again to reveal a large bearded man gathered around a group of Muppets, then finally revealing Kermit, Wayne, Wanda, Fozzie and four other Muppets standing and sitting on a blue and white pedestal.

    "And now let’s get things started
    On the most sensational
    Inspirational
    Celebrational
    This is what we call the Muppet Show!
    "

    Then Gonzo saw him. Him. Himself. But not the him he was today. He was different. His nose was a light shade of blue, thin, and lightly crumpled. Gonzo noticed his eyelids had drooped down halfway over his eyes. "Wow," Gonzo said. "I’ve changed so much since then!" he exclaimed.

    Gonzo: Yeah, yeah I have...I suppose you have an explanation for that too, MISTER writer?

    Me: Well...Actually...Yes, yes I do.

    The light swarmed around him again removing the theater from his view and revealing a dark desert where Piggy, Rowlf, Fozzie and Camilla were gathered around a bonfire.

    "Part heaven
    Part space
    Or have I found my place?
    " he heard himself sing. There he was again. Sitting on a rock in the desert. His eyelids had lifted and his nose had taken its purple color. He noticed that he was still about half the size he was today.

    Gonzo: Nice description.

    Me: Grathius amigo.

    Gonzo: Since when do you know French?

    "You can just visit
    But I plan to stay
    I’m going to go back there someday.
    "

    Again the light returned. He was getting tired of this, it wasn’t even painful. The light left him in an old farmhouse where he saw himself fighting a turkey. His head had grown larger but seemed to leave his body back in 1979. It was now that he realized he was being taken through his growth. Throughout his life.
    Me: I really liked this scene...

    Once more came the light wrapping him inside it and sending him to a beach just atop a lighthouse. A small egg type device let a light out that shone to the sky. A signal. A humongous space ship began to descend from the sky to land at Cape Doom. The ship opened up and aliens began to dance and sing. Just as if they were family. Soon Gonzo saw himself shot into the air out of a cannon. This was who he was now. This was his final evolution (or so he presumed). That was it.

    Gonzo: Evolution?

    Me: Mmm hmm.

    Gonzo: I thought schools couldn’t teach that anymore.

    Me: See, this is why I don’t like the educational system...

    The light returned one last time returning Gonzo to the black area he started out at. All was black. Dark and black. "Wait!" he shouted to no one. "Take me back! Take me back!"

    Gonzo: That’s it?!

    Me: For now.

    Gonzo: But it was just getting good!

    Me: Yeah, and now, I’m just getting hungry.
  9. muppetwriter

    muppetwriter Active Member

    Man! I am a huge fan of commentaries! Yours has got to be the best, PC! It's just like a DVD commentary! It's witty, it's hilarious, and there's always that someone who's pointing out the big "REFERENCE!!" (LOL!!!).

    Keep it going, man. I'm loving every minute of it.:)
  10. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hey Sean... Just be sure to be ready for the bathroom brake, a standard of Prawny's commentaries.

    Speaking of which... More please!
  11. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Well one time it was a snack bar break...:smirk:
  12. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Whatever.

    *Heh, hopefully that'll get the other guy in here and we can get more commentary.
  13. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 3

    "Si, si! Five sixes I swear, hokay?" Pepe said arguing his poker hand.

    Me: Oh, I love this scene...

    Gonzo: What? The one with ME IN A COMA?!

    Me: No, that one’s later...


    "That is undeniably the biggest lie I have ever heard!" Sam the American Eagle shouted, holding a hand of playing cards as well.

    "No way bird brain," Pepe said. "I have dem right here, right here, hokay?"

    Me: Gotta love Pepe...

    Gonzo: Si.

    Me: Oh, now you speak French too?

    Link Hogthrob pushed back in his chair, "Well, there goes my rare collection of rare Bavarian chocolates," he moaned, leaving the table.

    "En spoot dee fluer de Svedish meatbools!" The Swedish Chef said slamming his cards on the table and walking away.

    "Let me see those cards!" Sam Eagle demanded.

    "Hokay big bird, but I think jou’ll be upset," Pepe said handing Sam the cards.

    Me: Slight reference there I suppose...To MwoO and to Sesame Street.

    Gonzo: Now you reference cows with lisps and streets?

    Sam looked at the cards and shifted his eyes to Pepe. "This is a hand of four nines and one six you simpleton!"

    Pepe looked at the cards over Sam’s shoulder. "Si, dis is what I said, hokay?"
    "Unbelievable!" Sam said, slapping his head.


    Gonzo: Yeah it is unbelievable that you PUT ME IN A COMA!!

    Kermit walked by the table of card players with his cup of coffee and shook his head. "Not even in a hospital," he muttered.

    He returned to the seating area where Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Scooter, Clifford, Rizzo and Rowlf were sitting, along with Sweetums sprawled out on a couch sleeping, with Robin doing the sam on his chest.

    Scooter yawned. "It’s getting late Kermit," he said.

    Me: It’s only 7...

    Kermit nodded as he took a seat next to Piggy and Fozzie. Fozzie put his arm on Kermit’s shoulder. "We can always come back tomorrow."

    Gonzo: They better...I’m in a coma, I expect some love...Especially from my ROOMMATE!

    Kermit looked around the waiting area at the Muppet crew. Pops the doorman was asleep in a chair next to Beauregard the janitor, who kept wiping up the drool as it fell from his mouth. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew was carefully attaching a jet pack onto his reluctant assistant Beaker. The Electric Mayhem band was practicing with the instruments Animal drug in from their bus, of course now Animal was trying to eat the instruments, as Floyd desperately pulled his chain in prevention.

    Me: Gotta love random Muppet scenes of chaos...

    Gonzo: Aren’t they all random scenes of chaos?

    Then, Kermit looked to the hospital staff who were desperately attempting to keep up with the insanity ensuing in their lobby. "Maybe you’re right Fozzie," Kermit finally said to the bear.

    Just then, a nurse walked up to the party with her hair matted and tangled. "Excuse me Mr. the Frog, but visiting hours are over, you’ll have to take your party and go, please!" she begged.

    Me: Hmm, didn’t name that nurse either...

    "WO-MAN! WO-MAN!" Animal shouted as he ran up and attacked the nurse. The nurse shrieked and ran off and Animal followed.

    Gonzo: Yes you did, right there, see? You named her Wo Man.

    Me: Whoa man...

    Gonzo: Yup.

    Me: Good grief...

    "Come on man, get back!" Floyd shouted. "Yo green stuff, mind if I take Animal out for a walk?"

    Kermit stood up, "Well, we’ll all be heading for a walk Floyd, I know this might shock you," Crazy Harry popped up behind a chair.

    "Did somebody say shock?!" he shouted pressing down a dynamite plunger, causing an explosion in one of the nurses offices.

    Kermit scrunched up his face. "But we have to leave before anything worse happens."

    Gonzo: You mean worse than me being PUT IN A COMA?!?

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Gonzo tried to explore the vast, dark area he was stuck in, but he couldn’t find anything but more blackness. For hours he floated around in search of something, anything, that could help him out of here. He hated being alone. He always had.

    Gonzo: That’s very true...

    Me: Huh...Lucky guess on my part...

    Gonzo sighed. He searched his mind for songs about being alone. He needed something to pass the time. He vaguely remembered a song, one that wasn’t truly of this world, a song from another world on this world. One inside a hole in a wall in a man’s workshop.

    Me: Big ol’ Fraggle Rock reference!

    Gonzo: Rocks...Streets...Cows...Your material’s almost as random as mine.

    "Well, when the path is steep and stony
    And the night is all around,
    " he began to sing.
    "And the way that you must take is far away
    When your heart is lost and lonely
    And the map cannot be found
    Here’s a simple little spell that you can say:

    "You’ve got to face facts, act fast on your own
    Preparation, perspiration, dynamite determination
    Pack snacks, make tracks, all alone
    Don’t be cute. Time to scoot.
    Head out to your destination.

    "Chase the future, face the great unknown!" he sang, finishing the song.
    The light that had transported him earlier reappeared, this time spitting something out instead of taking Gonzo in. From the light emerged two fish type creatures, swimming in the air towards Gonzo.

    Gonzo: Oh no...

    "Mister Gonzo!" they both shouted.

    Gonzo squinted at the things, "Are you-"

    "Cosmic Knowledge Fish!" one of them said. It was true, the two creatures were the same fish type creatures Gonzo had encountered seven years ago, before meeting his alien family. One was somewhat pink, the other blue-ish.

    Me: Oh yes!

    "Yeah!" Gonzo grinned. "What’s going on? Why am I here?"

    "Oh that is a very simple question!" the pink one said.


    "And a very simple question deserves a very simple answer," the other answered.

    They both nodded at each other. "Now..." the pink one said looking around. "Where are we?"

    Gonzo: Heh, just like last time...

    Me: At least you got a straight answer that time...

    Gonzo: What’s that supposed to mean??

    Me: Just watch...Er...Read...Um...Just just.

    "That’s what I want to know!" Gonzo shouted.

    "Oh!" the blue one said. "Yes, yes, of course! Mister Gonzo! Your people need you!"

    "My people? You mean my family?" Gonzo asked.

    Me: Duh, Gonzo...

    Gonzo: How was I supposed to know that?

    "Yes! They need your help!" the pink one responded.

    "But, my help doing what? And they put me here because they need my help?"

    "Please, please, one question at a time," the blue one said. "We may be highly evolved beings but we need some sort of pace here!"

    "Alright," Gonzo said slowly. "Why did they put me here?"

    "Oh, you do not know?" the pink asked. "I thought he was smarter than that."

    Me: Me too...I wish he was...Woulda been a lot easier to not have to explain it...

    Gonzo: I’m right here!

    Me: Oh hi, didn’t notice you there...

    "I’ve been here for hours! How am I supposed to know how I got here!?" Gonzo shouted.

    "Well there is no need to shout!" the blue scolded.

    Gonzo inhaled deeply. "Why am I here?" he said calmly.

    "Because your people need you!" the pink one said.

    Me: *snap*

    Gonzo: What was that for?

    Me: Watch.

    "I KNOW MY PEOPLE NEED ME, BUT IF THEY NEED ME SO BADLY WHY DID THEY TRAP ME IN THIS DARK ABYSS?!" Gonzo shouted as he lost his temper.
    Gonzo: Ah, that snap...

    "Well, if you are going to be snippy about it, we’ll move on!" said the blue fish.

    "See if you ever get cosmic knowledge from us again!" replied the pink.
    "Hmph!" they both said, swimming off into the blackness.

    "Wait!" Gonzo shouted jumping in front of them. "Just tell me why I’m here, please!"

    "But Mr. Gonzo, you should know why you are here."

    "After all, you were responsible for putting yourself into this coma!"
    Gonzo gasped. "Coma?" he asked softly.

    Gonzo: That’s what I said!

    Me: Yeah, right there.

    The two fish nodded. "Your latest stunt put you into a, how you say, deep sleep."

    "But...I could’ve died?" he asked, as if just now realizing that he put his life on the line in each stunt he ever performed.

    "Yes, and a lucky thing you didn’t!"

    "Mm, yes if you had, your people would have had no way to defeat the alien overlords threatening their planet!"

    Gonzo: ALIEN OVERLORDS?!

    "What?" Gonzo asked. But it was too late, the Cosmic Knowledge Fish had vanished. Gonzo looked everywhere, but they were no where in sight. "No! Noooo! Come back! I don’t want to be alone!" he shouted into the darkness.

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Kermit saw off the three vehicles in the hospital parking lot. The Electric Mayhem bus, Johnny Fiama’s red Corvette, and Clifford’s black Mustang drove away.

    Me: REFERENCE!! Johnny’s red Corvette is a reference to Lisa’s "Chasing Robin."

    Fozzie placed his hand on Kermit’s shoulder. "Kermit, are you sure you don’t want a ride?" Fozzie asked.

    Kermit nodded, clutching his trench coat around his chest. "Yeah Fozzie, I think I need to take a walk," the frog said to his best friend.

    Me: A walk to Uncle Deadly!

    Gonzo: What? Uncle Deadly’s in this chapter? Neat...He always inflicts pain on someone...

    Fozzie removed his hand and smiled. "Alright Kermit, just remember," Fozzie hugged Kermit, "I’m always here for you."

    Kermit smiled his huge froggy grin. "Thank you Fozzie, that means a lot."
    Fozzie nodded and entered his studebaker. He started the engine and closed the door.

    Me: Awww...

    Kermit watched once more as his last friend drove away back to the Muppet Boarding House. But, Fozzie wasn’t truly his last friend. Kermit began to walk down the sidewalk leading away from the hospital. His last friend couldn’t come to the hospital with them, he was bound by rules because he was not living. It was time to see Uncle Deadly.

    Gonzo: Ooh, like that last sentence.

    Kermit made his way through the town, admiring the various stores and businesses along the way. But the most admirable of the structures in the town was of course the tall neon "MUPPET" sign above the Muppet Theater. The red letters each lit up after the other in the dark summer night.

    Me: I loooove that sign! So cool...

    Kermit walked to the alley on the right of the theater, his business was not inside. He climbed the ladder hung on the side of the wall to the roof of the old building. Kermit climbed to the top, watching a step that he had learned before was loose. When he reached the top he looked around the roof. A small section was lit up by the red neon sign on the theater, the rest was pitch black.

    Me: REFERENCE!!! The loose ladder wrung is a reference to my own story "Sometimes It’s Better to Go."

    Gonzo: Neat.

    Behind Kermit, a figure rose from the shadows. It reached out a clawed blue hand with a finger extended. It tapped Kermit’s shoulder.

    Gonzo: Ooh, creepy!

    Kermit was so shocked that he jumped off the roof and yelped. He turned around and saw the blue dragon-like creature. Kermit sighed in relief at his phantom friend. "Oh Uncle Deadly, it’s just you."

    Uncle Deadly struck a match and held it up to his face, "We really need to get some lights up here," the phantom said. Kermit smiled at the phantom’s witty attitude. "Come my fiend, let’s reconvene elsewhere."

    Me: That match is a reference to Beau’s "Visions but Only Illusions."

    Uncle Deadly lifted a wood panel on the roof revealing a set of stairs leading downward. Uncle Deadly grabbed a torch and extended his arm motioning for Kermit to lead down the stairs. Kermit did, and descended the flight down into Uncle Deadly’s private quarters. Inside were two tattered and torn magenta armchairs, a table with a tea set on it and a small makeshift bed. "Make yourself at home frog," Uncle Deadly said, motioning for Kermit to take a seat.

    Gonzo: Ooh, is this the first time you’ve used Uncle Deadly’s chamber?

    Me: Mmmhmm...Usually I just had him on the roof.

    Kermit did as he was invited and sat in the under stuffed chair. Uncle Deadly walked over to the table and poured tea into two of the china cups. "Green tea?" Uncle Deadly asked Kermit. Kermit took it and sipped it slowly. "I thought you might, it does suit you." Uncle Deadly sat in the other armchair drinking the tea as well. "You are wondering about your friend the weirdo I assume?" the phantom asked.

    Me: *hugs the green tea*

    Gonzo: Isn’t that hot?

    Kermit set the tea on the arm of the chair and nodded. "Is he going to be okay?" Kermit asked.

    Gonzo: He better be! *glares at me*

    Uncle Deadly took another drink of his tea. "I’m not sure," Uncle Deadly said. "But I have not heard anything from Death regarding a long nosed blue creature," Uncle Deadly smiled.

    Kermit sighed, not even Uncle Deadly could tell him. "Uncle Deadly, were...Were you there? Did you see it happen?" Kermit asked.

    Uncle Deadly looked up from his teacup. "Where else could I have been Kermit?" he asked. "But yes, I did indeed see it happen."

    Me: Ooh, Uncle Deadly’s response to Kermit’s "were you there" is a reference to my story "We Know That it’s Probably Magic." Where I explain the rules of death.

    Kermit rubbed his eye, "I only wish I could have been."

    "You do know how it happened, do you not?"

    Kermit shook his head. "I didn’t think to ask anyone at the hospital."

    Gonzo: Smart frog.

    Me: He dates the pig Gonzo...

    Gonzo: Good point...

    Uncle Deadly clawed the armchair in anger. "Gonzo’s cannon fired disproportionally, Sweetums slipped on a puddle of water, knocking the cannon off kilter so to speak."

    Kermit gulped, "Was it that rough?"

    "He blew through the brick wall under the balcony."

    Gonzo: Now normally, that would be the coolest thing ever...

    Kermit sighed, he stood up from his chair and looked directly at Uncle Deadly. "Thank you Uncle Deadly, I know you don’t enjoy involving yourself with us, and I know you don’t really care for Gonzo, or any of us, but-"

    "Don’t care?" Uncle Deadly repeated. "You believe I do not care about my family?"

    Me: Uh oh, here it comes...

    "Well I just thought that-"

    Gonzo: What? Here what comes?

    "You thought that cruel old Uncle Deadly doesn’t want safety for his family? That cruel old Uncle Deadly enjoys seeing people suffer and being in pain?" Uncle Deadly said, standing up from his chair as well. "Do you know what it’s like, not to be able to see your family at all points in the day? What it’s like to see them be injured and not see them heal? No frog, you wouldn’t! You are not trapped here Kermit!" Uncle Deadly threw his arms out to his sides. "Because I could not be there to see Gonzo meet his family you assume I do not care?"

    Me: That....

    Gonzo: Oh...That...

    "Uncle Deadly I’m sorry, I had no idea!" Kermit said as he cowered beneath the phantom’s rage.

    Gonzo: Neither did I...He really should speak his feelings more.

    Uncle Deadly saw his friend as he buckled beneath him. Uncle Deadly began to calm down at the sight. "Of course not Kermit," he exhaled deeply. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. It is not your fault that I put on the act I do. That I don’t show how much I really do care for all of you, each and every one." Uncle Deadly extended his palm to Kermit. "I do care. Really, I do."

    Me: Aww...Remind me to hug Uncle D. when we get back.

    Gonzo: Ooh! Me too! After hearing what he did to Bean I can’t wait to!

    Kermit rushed past his hand and gave the phantom a hug. Uncle Deadly looked down at Kermit and patted his back. "I’ll let you know if I hear more of Gonzo’s condition my friend."

    Kermit let go of him. "Thank you Uncle Deadly. You always do come through for us."

    Uncle Deadly smiled. "Thank you my fiend. Now, you better return home before the twilight ends, that’s when the town looks its best."

    Me: Good ol’ Uncle D.

    Kermit nodded and left Uncle Deadly’s private area returning to the roof of the theater. He climbed back down the ladder to the alley below, and began his walk home to the Muppet Boarding House. He looked about the town once more all of the street lights shining down on the road, some stores and businesses with lights on their signs. "You’re right Uncle Deadly," Kermit whispered. "This is the most beautiful time," the frog said before walking away.

    Me: You hungry Gonzo?

    Gonzo: Yeah, oddly enough, for fish and green tea...
  14. muppetwriter

    muppetwriter Active Member

    I'm still wondering how that tea got so green.:)

    Just for the heck of it, I counted how many references you and Gonz pointed out so far, and I came up with either eight or ten so far. I'll be counting more as the commentary goes on...*speaks in "Count von Count" type of voice*....because I just love to count! Ah-ah-ah!! (Sorry. Don't have any thunder.:p)
  15. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    <Supplies thunder and lightning> Ah ah ah!

    ...<Supplies thunder lightning headslap blink> Ah ah ah!
  16. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    Oh my, this is hilarious! Hugs to Gonzo!
    So, now I see why you've been putting me off on my question; you're going to put it in commentary. Very clever!
    You know, I thaught it when I first read the chapter, and I'm saying it now. What Sam was doing playing poker with Pepe I'll never know!
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Stepping out of the shadows... You wouldn't by chance be trying to steal my thunder, would you guys?
    Cause if you were... Well, let's just say the consequences might drive you batty.

    Hey Ryan... Thanks for the commentary. Forgot about the greatness of this chapter, what with Uncle Deadly's scene.
    And when you get the chance... More please.
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 4

    Gonzo sat alone in the dark area still. He was pondering what the Cosmic Fish of Knowledge had said to him. "My people need me..." he said to himself. "But, what about my friends, they need me too. And Camilla..." he scratched his head. "What if I don’t come back...I can’t keep risking my life like this."

    Gonzo: Except I wasn’t the one risking MY life, YOU were!

    Me: Well just in this fan-fic.

    Gonzo: ...Good point.

    For a moment he recalled all of his stunts, now it was obviously apparent to Gonzo how dangerous his feats truly were. He was lucky that he wasn’t dead. It couldn’t go on, he decided. It had to stop, "From this day forward," he announced to no one. "I, the Great Gonzo, shall no longer perform death defying stunts and feats of daring!"

    Gonzo: WHAT?!?? YOU CAN’T NOT MAKE ME NOT DO STUNTS!

    Me: Uh...Did I mention how sorry I am?

    Gonzo: You’re just lucky I don’t have a lawyer...

    As if on cue, the light returned, this time brighter than ever before. A tall cloaked figure emerged from the light. It floated its tall form towards the weirdo.

    Gonzo shuddered. "Are you...Are you Death?" he asked.

    Gonzo: Where have I seen Death before?

    Me: Well you HAVE had very-near death experiences...

    The figure shook its cloaked head and pointed to an area in the blackness, from the blackness came Gonzo himself, dressed as Charles Dickens with Rizzo, who was gnawing an apple.

    Gonzo gasped in realization. "You’re the Ghost of Christmas yet to Come!" The specter nodded. "But, it’s July," Gonzo said. The figure pointed to Gonzo. "Wait...You must be here...Are you here to show me what’s yet to come for me?"

    Gonzo: I don’t wanna know, I don’t wanna know...Okay, show me!!

    The ghost nodded again and pointed back to where Charles Dickens Gonzo stood. FWOOSH the picture changed. Gonzo watched as Robin the Frog cowered in front of a large shadow. FWOOSH. Camilla was thrown into a cage.FWOOSH. The door leading into Muppet Labs fell to the floor. FWOOSH. Fozzie, Piggy, Pepe, Rizzo and Animal were trapped behind a cage of lasers. FWOOSH. Gonzo looked away from the screen, and to the ghost. "I have to know, are these things that will happen if I do go to help my family, or things that will happen if I don’t?"

    Me: ALL of those scenes happened later in the story, word for word as you see them here.

    Gonzo: Even "Camilla was thrown in a cage?"

    Me: Oh no...

    The ghost looked at Gonzo and then turned to the screen, he pointed his long blue finger out one last time.

    FWOOSH. Kermit stood watching something. "Stop this!" he shouted. "Stop this right now! Leave Gonzo alone!" The floor underneath Kermit’s feet broke open and Kermit fell.

    Gonzo sat up in the hospital bed, inside the dark hospital room and his eyes shot open.

    Gonzo: KERMIT!

    "KERMIT!"

    Me: Very nice.

    Gonzo: What?

    Me: Nice timing.

    Gonzo: Oh...

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Kermit walked up the porch stairs leading into the Muppet Boarding House. Through the window he could see a light on in the living room. He opened the door and heard a tune coming from the living room. Kermit walked in and saw Rowlf sitting at the piano in the corner of the room playing a song.

    Me: I love love love Rowlf at the piano, so awesome.

    Rowlf turned around and saw Kermit. "Hey Kermit."

    "Hiya Rowlf," Kermit said leaning on the doorway. "What are you still doing up?"

    "Someone had to wait up for you, and me and the piano had a little date anyway," Rowlf played a cord on the piano. "How’re you doin’?"

    Gonzo: Ooh, scandal, Rowlf and the piano, next on W! Television.

    Me: It’s E! Television, not W!

    Gonzo: Really? I always thought it was Weird...

    "I’m okay Rowlf, but, uh, I think I just wanna head on to bed."

    Rowlf shook his head. "No you don’t."

    Kermit looked at him puzzled. "I...Don’t?" he asked.

    Rowlf shook his head and played the piano while he talked. "Call it a natural animal instinct," he said. "But I know you don’t just wanna go up to bed without talking."

    Me: Oh I hug Rowlf...

    Gonzo: No you don’t, he’s back in Lisa’s dorm!

    Kermit smirked and sat down on the piano bench with Rowlf. "You know me too well Rowlf."

    Rowlf smiled. "So what’s on your mind Kermit?"

    "Same thing," Kermit sighed. "Gonzo, I’m just so worried about him. Worried about when he’ll be better, if he’ll be better, what we’ll do if he isn’t better."

    Gonzo: Me too!

    Me: Patience young weird one. There is still much to see.

    Gonzo: How much is much? I’ve gotta go...Uh...See Rowlf about a dog...Wait...

    Me: Oh, just go...

    Gonzo: Whoopie! Thanks Ry! *darts out*

    "Why Kermit?" Rowlf asked.

    "Why Rowlf?" Kermit asked, confused.

    Me: Ooh, that was supposed to say: "Why what Rowlf" not just "Why Rowlf." Ah, well...Ooh! Rainbow Connection!

    Rowlf played a familiar tune on the piano. "Why are there so many songs about rainbows
    And what’s on the other side
    Rainbows are visions but only illusions
    And rainbows have nothing to hide

    "So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it
    I know their wrong wait and see
    Someday we’ll find it
    The Rainbow Connection
    The lovers, the dreamers, and me."

    Clifford: What’s that I hear about lovers? Oh, hey there Ryguy, heh heh heh.

    Me: Oh hey Cliff, what’s goin’ on? Come, sit down, sit down, enjoy the show.

    Kermit sighed, "Rowlf, I’m not sure that this is the right time."

    Rowlf shook his head. "It’s always the right time."

    Clifford: Man, that’s so Rowlf.

    Me: Mm-hm.

    Clifford: Hey, where’s Gonzo, ain’t he supposed to be here witcha?

    Me: Well...Nature...Or un-nature called.

    Clifford: Heh heh heh.

    "Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
    When wished on the morning stars
    Somebody thought of that
    And someone believed it
    Look what it’s done so far."

    Kermit smiled and began to agree with his old friend and decided to sing along. "What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing
    And what do we think we might see
    Someday we’ll find it
    The Rainbow Connection
    The lovers, the dreamers, and me."

    Clifford: That really is Kerm’s song, ya know?

    Me: Totally.

    "All of us under its spell, we know that it’s probably magic
    Have you been half asleep
    And have you heard voices
    I’ve heard them calling my name."Rowlf and Kermit harmonized.

    "Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors
    The voice might be one in the same," Rowlf sang.

    "I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
    It’s something that I’m s’possed to be," Kermit replied.

    Clifford: That ain’t a word.

    Me: Ain’t ain’t a word either Cliff.

    Clifford: Don’t start man...

    "Someday we’ll find it
    The Rainbow Connection
    The lovers, the dreamers, and me," Rowlf added.

    "The lovers, the dreamers, and me," Kermit finished.

    Rowlf nodded, "Yeah," he said.

    "Thanks Rowlf," Kermit said. "That song does make me feel better."

    "I thought it might," Rowlf said, still playing on the piano.

    "Can I go to bed now Rowlf? I really am tired," Kermit smiled.

    Rowlf chuckled, "Yeah Kermit go on, I’ll see you bright ‘n’ early to go and see Gonzo?" Rowlf asked.

    Clifford: What? What’s goin’ on? Somethin’ happened to Gonzo?

    Me: Well Cliff, when you’re late for a party, your bound to miss something...

    "You bet Rowlf," he said as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom, he stopped halfway, looked down at the stair, and then back to Rowlf. "Hey Rowlf?"

    Rowlf looked up from the keys. "Yeah Kermit?"

    "Thanks again."

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Inside a cleverly disguised cement factory, a large blue furry creature sat at a desk in a black suit. He had some purple hair sticking out of the top of his head, and a bottom lip that stuck out to where his nose would be, although he didn’t have one. His large lip had one tooth on the right side and a tuft of purple hair forming a small beard.

    Me: Oh! Oh oh oh! This is the first ever appearance of one of my newest creations! Butch!

    "Clyde!" the Muppet shouted.

    A smaller pink Muppet with a long beak and droopy eyes and magenta hair came fumbling into the room. "Y-Y-Yes B-B-Butch-I mean boss-Boss Butch...Yes?" he asked.

    Me: And there’s Clyde!

    Clifford: Timid fella ain’t he?

    "Did you find the file I asked for?" the Muppet named Butch asked.

    "Yeah, uh huh, uh huh, it’s right here!" Clyde said handing Butch a file folder with a large red "TOP SECRET" stamp on the front.

    Me: Ooh, top secret files...Wander what’s in it.

    Clifford: You ain’t foolin’ nobody dude, we all know you wrote it...

    "Great! You finally did something right shorty," Butch said opening the folder up and shuffling through the papers. "Hey, look at this," Clyde walked around to the other side of the desk. "Says here that Ed Singer was hot on the case of one ‘Gonzo the Great’ an self-proclaimed alien, before he mysteriously disappeared. He hasn’t been heard from in seven years."

    Me: REFERENCE!! To Muppets From Space!

    Clifford: What was that?

    Me: What do you mean what was that? You were in that movie!

    Clifford: I meant the screamin’ dude!

    Me: Oh, that. Well that just sorta happens when I reference something in my stories...It’s like a reflex...

    "Ooh, that’s cool! What’s it say about the alien?" Clyde asked as he peered over Butch’s shoulder.

    Butch looked down at him and pushed his head off of his shoulder. Clyde stood up and dusted himself off. "Says that the alien returned home to 44 Bronson Lane where he lives in a big boarding house with a buncha furry things."

    Clifford: Man, they gave out our address again...

    "We’re furry things!" Clyde said.

    "Really?" Butch asked sarcastically. "I couldn’t tell," he shook his head. "Hey, looky here, it also says that Singer had an assistant, Bobo Rentro the Bear."

    Me: REFERENCE!! I made Rentro Bobo’s middle name, just like Lisa did with Crazy Donald/Harry in Flippersteps.

    "What’s it say about the assistant?"

    "You really talk too much, you know that?" Butch said. He turned back to the papers, "Says the bear lives at the same boarding house with the alien."

    "Well," Clyde said walking back to the front of the desk. "That’s pretty cool, ah well, it’s quitting time Butch, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?" Clyde said as he punched the clock near the exit.

    Clifford: He punched a clock?

    Me: No Cliff, he checked out.

    Clifford: They were at a supermarket?

    Me: Oh forget it...

    "Hold up there small fry!" Butch said as he jumped in front of his pink sidekick. "I think I feel a plan formin’ here. So instead of coming back here to work tomorrow morning, meet me at this 44 Bronson Lane place, got it?"
    Clyde scratched his head. "Okay boss...If you insist."

    Me: Wow, intense. Ready to head back to the dorm Cliff?

    Clifford: Yeah dude, let’s go.
  19. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Gonzo: *coming back* Oh hey Ryan, I brought some-Hey...Looks like the chapter's over. Hmm, wonder what's next.

    Gonzo: What the hey? What is this?

    Gonzo: Why is The Count reading Ryan's stuff? And what references?

    Gonzo: Who are Butch and Clyde? ...Did I miss something here?!

    Gonzo: Well that was weird...And I should know...

    Me: *comes in and yanks Gonzo out by his nose*

    Gonzo: Oh, hey Ryan! Wait, only Camilla can do that!
  20. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Extra hugs/laughs for that last one.

    So... Anybody got a good fanfic to read? Maybe this thing posted by...
    *Leaves thread heading back to the dorm's reading room to get next story.


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