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Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Jul 10, 2006.
I'm really enjoying your commentary...
Onzgo and Gonzo had arrived at Onzgo’s chambers by the time Onzgo had finished telling his brother all he needed to know about his family, his home and himself.
Uncle Deadly: Ah, what have I missed?
Me: You don’t remember?
UD: Should I?
UD: Ah, well forgive me then.
"So this is it?" Gonzo asked.
"Totally," Onzgo replied. "This is your final stage of evolution," he said. "You are a true Gonzonian now, and ready to take the throne after my descent."
Me: Ooh, he begins talking about his death.
UD: Very touchy subject.
Me: And you would know.
"But that’ll be a long time from now right?" Gonzo asked.
Onzgo didn’t respond. He looked away from his brother and went into his chamber.
UD: Mm, poor fellow.
Gonzo sighed, and followed Onzgo into his chamber. Gonzo doubled back when he saw Zongo lying unconscious on the floor with Des Filmer trying to revive him. "What...What happened?" Gonzo asked.
"I don’t know," Des moaned. "I found him like this in the main transmission room, I had him brought in here so we could assess the damage ourselves."
Me: Oh no Zongo!
UD: Calm yourself mister author.
Onzgo rubbed his tall crown. "Oh Zongo...This is all my fault," he sighed. Gonzo put an arm on his brother’s shoulder. "Have you started scanning for damage?" Onzgo asked Des.
Des nodded. "I’ve begun scanning his body, he will recover soon enough."
"Thank goodness," both brothers said in unison.
Onzgo stood up straight. "We. Retaliate. Now."
Me: Oh snap!
UD: Never. Say. That. Again.
"What?" Gonzo asked.
"We must do it now. Des, alert the reserve troops."
"They’re our only troops," Des said.
Me: I love that line!!
UD: Ah, yes funny...
"Well alert them anyway!" Onzgo shouted. "Gonzo, try contacting your friend on Earth again, tell him not to come, it is too dangerous."
"Okay," Gonzo said. The alien was in sudden awe of his brother’s new righteous attitude. "But what if he’s already left?"
"Then all we can do is pray."
Me: Fall down on your knees!
UD: Muppet Treasure Island?
Me: What else?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Exod stood still as a platform rotated down taking him to the dungeon. Xander stood on another revolving behind him. "My lord, the troops need to know the plan," Xander said.
Me: ...Uncle D. do you hear something?
UD: I...I think I do.
Me: Well what on Earth could it-
Robot Kermit: Hiya Prawnie sweetheart baby ya look great!
Me: K...K...KERMIT THE FROG!! Uncle Deadly look! Kermit the Frog is IN my fan-fiction!
Robot Kermit: Hey yes, you bet Kermit the Frog right here. Hey, is this a story? Great! I love it! Let’s see more!
"I will give a plan when I deem it time," Exod said blankly.
"But my lord, the Gonzonians-"
Robot Kermit: Hey, who are those guys? Why are they here? Where am I?
UD: Chattery little frog today isn’t he?
Me: *star struck*
"The Gonzonians are powerless," Exod bellowed. "All you need to know slave, is that I have control and that you need not worry yourself over such details."
Me: Ooh, he called him slave!! And he’s his brother!!
UD: Oh sure, give the plot exposition away why don’t you.
Robot Kermit: That’s okay Prawnie babe, just keep it cool.
Me: Keep it cool in the presence of KERMIT THE FROG?!
Exod reached to the pillar that was revolving down and pressed in on it, sending the platform carrying Xander the other direction.
Exod’s platform reached the floor of the dungeon. His long maroon robe touched the floor when his feet did and he proceeded down the halls. Numerous creatures shouted and screeched from their pins as Exod walked by. Exod extended both of his palms, "Silence!" he said sternly, sending all of the prisoners flying back in their cell in distinct silence.
Robot Kermit: I, Kermit the Frog, would NOT want to mess with that guy!
He laughed inside and moved down the rest of the prison to the final cell in the ward. He turned to face it and stared inside.
Flanzgo was standing, waiting, for Exod. She stared straight into the face of the beast. Flanzgo had regained hope. Robin followed his new friend’s lead and stood behind her, feeling braver than ever before.
Me: Kermit, I must have your opinion on Robin in this scene! How does it drive you?! Does it rip your heart out and squeeze it like an orange?!
Robot Kermit: ...What’s a robin?
"Oh princess, I see you noticed I was coming," Exod said.
Flanzgo’s eye lids grew slitted. "What do you want with us?"
"Hmm, now which shall I answer first?" Exod asked. "Shall I tell how I plan to marry the princess? Or how I plan to enslave the young frog for my own? Oh, oh my excuse me I’ve let both slip at once."
Me: Oh Kermit do tell me! Isn’t Exod like, one of the scariest villains?!
Robot Kermit: I dunno about that, but that’s one cute alien princess!
Flanzgo spat at Exod’s feet. "I can’t even stand the sight of you! Marriage will never happen. My uncle and father will stop you! You will lose!"
Me: Oh snap!
UD: *shocks me with lightning palms* Maybe next time you’ll listen to old Uncle Deadly. Hmm?
Robot Kermit: I like your style deady.
UD: That’s Deadly.
Robot Kermit: Exactly!
"Ah, brave words from a foolish girl," Exod said.
"Shut up!" Flanzgo shouted. Robin hopped into the air.
Robot Kermit: Oh snap!
UD: Don’t make me get you too amphibian.
"What did you say to me?" Exod asked sternly.
Robot Kermit: What did you say to me?
"Flanzgo, don’t," Robin tried to protest.
Flanzgo didn’t listen. "I said shut up!"
Me: *comes back to consciousness* I did not say shut up! I said ‘Oh snap!’
UD: *shocks me again* Do you have a death wish?!
"Do you have a death wish?!" Exod exclaimed. He began to put out his hands.
"No!" Robin shouted. The young frog pushed himself in front of Flanzgo. Exod glared down and Robin began to cower.
"Now we have two fools in our midst. Fine then, I shall destroy you both then, in front of your so-called heroes!" he yelled, slamming his fist into the control panel, releasing the laser bars. Exod grabbed both Flanzgo and Robin with one hand and stormed off the way he came.
Just as fast as her hope had been renewed, Flanzgo’s hope had been diminished, and now, Robin’s hope began to slip away.
Robot Kermit: Oh snap!
UD: That’s it! *shocks Robot Kermit, putting him in out mode* Oh...Now I’m alone. Finally!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Kermit ignored the random going ons of the crazies behind him as he watched the amazing view of space from the front window of the ship.
Piggy was attempting to do her hair while the ship took on interstellar turbulence. Finally she gave up and growled, throwing her hand mirror on the floor. "Are we there YET?!" she shouted.
UD: Ah, so like Miss Piggy...
Hilda: *wanders in* Hello? Robot Kermit? Anyone? Are you in here?
UD: Robot? Ah hello there Hilda. No, no robot, just the real frog, myself and Ryan here.
Hilda: ...Ry...Ryan?! And he’s unconscious! Oh now is my chance! *grabs Ryan by the ankles and pulls him out*
UD: I should do something...*shrug* Ah well, back to the story.
"Si si, vamanos Kermin, I need to juse de little prawn’s room, hokay?" said Pepe.
Kermit turned around. "Pepe, there’s a bathroom back there," Kermit pointed to the back of the ship where two doors sat across from each other in the hallway.
"Oh grathius!" Pepe shouted running to the hall. He opened the door on the left and a loud thud sounded.
UD: Ah, methinks this is where Butch and Clyde meet the Muppets.
"Ah! The ship is haunted!" Fozzie wailed.
"Get offa me dumbo," a deep voice said.
"Sorry Butch I fell out," a weaker voice whined.
"Yeah I know, so did I!"
UD: Ah, I thought right.
Robot Kermit: Left.
UD: *shocks him again*
"Dios mio Kermin, I t’ink dat was de closet, hokay? Not de bat’room..." Pepe moaned.
Kermit and the others darted over and pushed aside the closet door. On the floor a large blue Muppet lay on the floor, with a smaller pink one on top of him and Pepe underneath them both.
"What...What is going on here?" Kermit asked.
"Hey," Bobo said. "You’re those C.O.V.ie’s!" the bear chuckled. "It’s great to see you guys again," he helped them up off the floor. "Can I get you anything? ...Not that we have any food on the ship...But if you need something I could-"
"I t’ink dey’re okay Bobo," Rizzo said. "But what are youse guys doin’ here?"
UD: Well they were in the closet together...
Robot Kermit: Leyla talks about that all the time...
UD: How many times must I shock you?
Robot Kermit: I dunno. Each time it re charges my batteries! What a jolt!
UD: Ah, so you are the droid we’re looking for...
"Well," the shorter one said. "We stole this rocket from your boarding house and then we both got trapped in the closet here when we were trying to find the bathroom."
"Yeah, I was already stuck in the closet and then this moron comes in and gets us both stuck!" the bigger one said.
"You stole our rocket?" Kermit asked.
"Well...Uh, that is to say...Uh...In a word-"
UD: Heh, those two...
The large blue one slammed the bottom of his fist onto his pink sidekick’s head. "Shut it Clyde!"
"So you’re Butch...And you’re Clyde?" Fozzie asked.
"Heh," Piggy laughed. "What’re your wives names? Bonnie and Cassidy?"
UD: This stuff just writes itself...
Robot Kermit: So does my superscript.
"Hey that’s fun-ny!" Fozzie said.
Robot Kermit: Thanks bear.
"Yeah it is!" Clyde agreed.
Robot Kermit: Aw, thanks little pink guy.
"Meh, I guess so," Butch muttered.
"Oy," Animal said.
UD: Does Lisa know he used that?
"Now wait a second!" Kermit shouted. "We’re all friends now?"
"Sure, why not?" Rizzo shrugged.
"I guess it could work out," Butch said.
"Yeah, ‘cause you gotta have frieeeeeeeends!" Clyde sang.
"Si, dis is true."
"Well I guess that makes this a friendship instead of a spaceship! Ahhh! Wocka wocka!"
UD: Ah the Muppets, making friends with all...
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Good grief. Well, Butch, Clyde, uh, I’m Kermit the Frog and uh, that’s Fozzie and Miss Piggy, Bobo, Rizzo, Pepe and Animal there. And uh, I guess you’re gonna have to go with us to get my nephew Robin from the alien base and-"
"ALIEN BASE?!" Butch shouted. "You’re goin’-You mean we’re-Alien base! The alien base!"
Kermit gulped. "Um, yeah I suppose it’s the alien base that we’re going to...Of course we don’t know where any other alien bases are but still-"
"Oh hey boss now we can capture the aliens and take ‘em back to the base for-" Butch clamped his hand over Clyde’s mouth.
"Ice cream! Yeah, yeah, take ‘em back for ice cream! Aliens love ice cream, heh heh," Butch laughed innocently.
Robot Kermit: So do robots!
The Muppets stared at them. "Si I suppose dis is true, Gonso loves pickle and onion milkshakes, hokay?" Pepe said.
"Yeah, he does, doesn’t he?" Fozzie stated.
"I am surrounded by nincompoops," Piggy muttered, going back to her hair.
UD: Welcome to my world.
Robot Kermit: There’s that cute lady pig again!
UD: *sigh* See what I mean?
"Well Butch, Clyde, it’s nice to meet you two," Kermit smiled.
"Yo Kermit! Space station at twelve o’clock!" Rizzo pointed out the front window at the large station approaching.
"Uh, no Riz, it’s uh," Bobo looked at his watch. "Four thirty."
UD: What a lame joke...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The Electric Mayhem’s bus parked in front of the Muppet Theater. Dr. Teeth opened the bus’ door and the Muppets began to pour out and flood into the theater.
Pops the doorman stayed in the ticket booth greeting the Muppets as they arrived. "Hey there! Yeah, hi! How’s it goin’? Yeah go right on in, uh huh."
UD: Ah, Pops got a cameo in. I forgot about that.
"Well guys, now all we have to do is wait for Kermit to call," Scooter said. "Hey Sam, you wanna play Monopoly again?"
"Not on my rights as an American," Sam said.
UD: I believe that if Ryan were here he’d say that that is a reference to Lisa’s "Chasing Robin."
Robot Kermit: Lisa? Hm, sounds cute.
Rowlf laughed. "Hey Scooter, we gonna work on some acts while Kermit’s away?"
"Well we can’t do the Mayhem’s number, Animal’s gone. And lord knows Fozzie needs to work on his monologue, but he’s gone too. Oh, and Piggy needs to practice her number with the Mormon Tabernacle Penguin Choir, but she’s gone too. And-"
"I could practice my boomerang fish!" Lew shouted, popping into the ticket booth, making Pops jump. "I throw them a-way," he said throwing a fish. It hit the ticket booth glass and fell right down. "Oops..."
UD: And there’s Lew with his fish...When in doubt, throw a boomerang fish.
Scooter shook his head. "I guess we could have Sweetums and Robin work on-Oh, never mind...Let’s just sit back and relax and wait for Kermit to get back."
"Sounds good to me," Rowlf said as the two of them entered the theater.
Uncle Deadly dropped down in front of them, making both of them fall to the floor. "Oh, hello there," the phantom said helping them both up.
UD: Ah! There I am!
Robot Kermit: And I’m still on the spaceship.
UD: Get over it, everyone knows you’re a robot.
"Don’t try that maneuver in front of Pops," Scooter said, dusting off. "He’ll have a heart attack."
"Will remember that," Deadly said. "What’s this I hear about the frog, pig, bear...Well everyone, what’s this I hear about them?"
UD: Hmm, I hear lots of things.
Robot Kermit: I don’t, I don’t have ears, I’m a frog.
UD: No, you don’t have ears because you’re a robot.
"They all went into space to find Robin, he stowed away in Gonzo’s suitcase when he left," Rowlf explained.
"Oh dear," the phantom sighed. "I fear this will not end well..."
"What? Why? What’s wrong?" Scooter said.
Uncle Deadly took in a deep breath of the air. "I’m so sorry," Uncle Deadly said softly. "They are all in grave danger."
Hilda: *dragging Ryan back in* Ah, oh good I got back in time for the ending. Oh! Robot Kermit! There you are! Leyla was looking for you! Come on now, let’s get-a going.
UD: Um Hilda, what were you doing with Ryan?
Hilda: Why...Um, measuring his coat size...Of course.
UD: ...Right. Well I’ll get him back to the party as soon as he regains consciousness. See you there.
Robot Kermit: Alright Hilda babe, show me the way to the par-tay!
Count: Ah ha! 4 fantasticabulous flourishes of frightning lightning from my fellow fiend!
Nice aliteration there roomie.
Count: Thank you.
Yeah... Sure is nice to get some commentary from the authors who post it, almost makes up for the lack of real updates to the stories in progress.
Count: There are other stories in progress? Vhy haven't ve been nagging then?
Dunno, guess it's a bit of a slump I'm in at the moment. Rully laughed at the interaction here from the guest commentators, now come... We have a party to get to.
*Both leave back to Grover's B-Day party.
Exod returned to his throne room with Flanzgo and Robin in arm. Xaldin came out of camouflage from the wall and clawed down it to the floor of the throne room grabbing the prisoners from his master. He climbed back up the wall with the prisoners in one hand and hung them by their arms from chains dangling behind his throne. "Leave the young one out of this!" Flanzgo demanded.
"Ha, not likely," Exod laughed. "He’s part of the bait for your uncle princess."
Gonzo: Are they going fishing?
Xaldin returned to the floor and took the cape off of Exod’s back, draping it across the back of the massive thrown then returning himself to his master’s side.
"Part of the bait?" Robin asked.
Exod laughed loudly. "Yes, I have the landing base of the Gonzonian spacecraft rigged and filled with my followers and spies ready to intercept your uncle, is it? Yes, I believe that’s right young frog."
"Uncle Kermit? He’s coming here?" Robin asked timidly.
Gonzo: That still creeps me out.
"Nice timing back there Xaldin," Exod said to his chameleon like assistant who cackled back. "But yes, more specifically young frog, your uncle is coming here. As soon as my spies grab up him and his little friends and bring them to me."
"Why do you insist on torturing us Exod?" Flanzgo asked warily.
Exod shot the princess a glare. "All of my life, I have been told that it is I who would rule this universe, that it is I who would save preserve my species name, that it is I who would destroy the Gonzonian race! And I intend to prove myself worthy."
Me: Dun dun dun!
"But...But you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone," Robin whispered. "You don’t have to, not if people believe. Don’t you even have just one person who believes in you? Or do they all expect something from you?" Robin asked slowly and softly.
Me: Now, I was gonna have a song cue here, but I decided against it because I’ve got one coming up right here.
Gonzo: What is it?
Exod stared straight into the young frog’s eyes. "I expect something from myself," the harsh ruler said sternly. "Be prepared."
Me: That answer your question?
Xander entered the throne room and into Exod’s eyesight, attempting to speak. "Prepared for what master?"
Me: Shall we remain silent for the song here Gonz?
Gonzo: Sure. It’s a lot easier keeping quiet than talking.
"For the death of a species, and the beginning of a new era!" Exod extended his arms horizontally causing geysers of steam to erupt from the floor. "I know that your powers of retention are as wet as a Gonzonian’s back side," he sang sternly. "But THICK as you are, PAY attention!My words are a matter of pride
"It’s clear from your vacant expressions," he sang to Xander’s dumbfounded face.
"The lights are not all on upstairs
But I’m talking kings! And successions!
Even YOU can’t be caught unawares!" the overlord sang, erupting geysers all across the floor of the room with his hands.
"So prepare for chance of a lifetime," geysers from behind.
"Be prepared for sensational news," geysers from the left, narrowly missing Xander.
"A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer!"
"And where do we feature?" Xaldin hissed.
"Just you listen to teacher
I know it’s sounds sordid
But you’ll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues," geysers surrounded Exod.
"And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!" the geysers fell and Exod cackled as legions of Exodians filled the room. Their faces were shadowed and mysterious, all that could be seen were beady yellow eyes and glimmering fangs in most of their mouths.
"It’s great that we’ll soon be connected
With a king who’ll be all time adored!" the Exodians sang in unison marching around their leader.
"Of course quid pro quo, they are expected to take certain duties on board, right?" Xander asked his master, who erupted a geyser beneath his feet.
"The future is littered with prizes
And though I’m the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
YOU WON’T EVEN LIVE WITHOUT ME!" Exod shouted filling the room with geysers and steam.
Flanzgo’s tears fell to the ground, having the bravery of a princess was harder than she ever expected.
Robin usually loved elaborate musical numbers like this. But this one was an exception, this one brought despair into the hearts and souls of his new Gonzonian friends.
Me: Ah, sorry, have to interrupt here. I love the line about elaborate musical numbers.
"So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the murkiest scam," Exod sang in his deep undertone.
"Oooh!" sang Xaldin, crawling to the his master’s shoulders.
"He will rule!" Xaldin shouted.
"Our hidden jewel," Xaldin beamed.
Me: Gotta interrupt one last time, "hidden jewel" may be a reference to a combination story written by Beauregard, Lisa and I entitled "A Hidden Juhl."
"Decades of denial-"
"We repeat," all of the Exodians shouted.
"Is simply why I’ll-"
"He’s so neat!"
"Be king undisputed
And seen for the wonder I am!"
"Aaaaaaah!" Xaldin chimed in jumping off the shoulders of his leader.
"Yes, my ships and my weapons are bared
Be prepared!" Exod sang alone.
"Yes, his ships and his weapons are bared," everyone sang together.
"Be prepared!" Exod and his followers held the last note as the leader of the pack shot geysers rocketing out of the ground, the steam causing sweat beads to roll down Robin’s face. Flanzgo shot a glance towards the frog and sighed, this could truly be the end.
Gonzo: *shudder* Creepy!
Me: And that’s coming from Gonzo.
Gonzo: Well duh, there’s no one else here.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Clifford pulled his black car up and parked it behind the Electric Mayhem’s psychedelically colored bus and stepped out. He stood out on the sidewalk while Sal drove up Johnny’s flooded red corvette. "See Sal, I told you," Johnny began. "You only had to push it halfway."
Me: Ooh, I love this scene!
Sal got out of the car and slammed the door. He and Johnny both staggered up to the sidewalk next to their co-host. "Hey Johnny look," Sal said. "Down there, on the ground, is that a five dollar bill?" the monkey asked.
"Huh, where?" Johnny turned around and looked down at the sidewalk. And as soon as he turned around, a loud sound of crunching metal caused Johnny to cringe. "Clifford, please tell me that was you stepping on a soda can..."
"Heh heh, sorry dude," Clifford pointed out to the street.
"Oh I was afraid of that..." Johnny sighed as he watched Bunsen and Beaker exit the half of their car that wasn’t partially fused with Johnny’s.
Me: I hope that doesn’t happen to my car...
Gonzo: You have a car?
Me: Yes, and you can never ever never ever come near it. Ever.
"Oh my Mr. Fiama!" Bunsen gasped. "It seems we had a slight fender bender!"
"Bun baby," Johnny put his arm around Dr. Honeydew’s shoulder. "Let me get down your insurance right quick..."
The group walked into the theater where Rowlf, Scooter, and now, a growing crowd of the other Muppets were gathering around Uncle Deadly who was telling the group something.
"Yo yo yo, what’s goin’ down ya’ll?" Clifford asked.
"Shh!" Bean Bunny put his finger to his lips. "Uncle Deadly’s telling us a story!"
Uncle Deadly shot a dead glare at the bunny. "It is no story you foolish rabbit!" he shouted. "It is undeniable fact!"
Me: Uncle Deadly’s so rash...
Gonzo: Is that what his ointment’s for?
Clifford lost his patience. "What are you talkin’ about Uncle D.?"
"Kermit and the others, they are all in mortal peril! A race of aliens are plotting to destroy Gonzo’s species forever, not only will he be lost to us, but these brutes will take down anyone eve associating with the Gonzonians," the phantom said harshly.
"And just how do you know that?" the dread-locked Muppet asked.
"Do you really find it wise to question me after all of the things we’ve seen?" Uncle Deadly asked reminding Clifford of more than one instance where Uncle Deadly had shocked, amazed or even saved them all with his mysterious ways.
Me: Ooh hoo hoo! Go Uncle D.!
Clifford took off his sunglasses. "Sorry dead dude. Now what do we need to do to help out Kerm?"
"First of all, call the frog, I know you have the phone Scooter, call him, immediately," Deadly ordered. "And the only other thing we can do is hold onto hope."
Gonzo: I hope we didn’t grease the hope again...
Me: You’re thinking of the rope.
Gonzo: No...I don’t think I am.
"Well we all know we can do that," Rowlf said.
"Yeah man, when it comes to hoping, we’re the tops!" Floyd said.
"Now did you say you wanted me to hop or...Mop?" Beauregard asked slowly.
"Neither you dim-witted fool!" Sam Eagle projected. "But the only even remotely American about you weirdos," he shifted his eyes. "Is the fact that you can keep hope alive in such dismal situations."
"Yeah the only thing more dismal than your situations," Waldorf started.
"Are the bear’s jokes!" Statler finished.
"Do ho ho ho!"
Scooter had his finger plugged into one ear and the interstellar cell phone in his other. "Hey, could you guys keep it down? I’m trying to call Kermit!"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The Gonzonians inside the space station landing base control room opened the landing hatch for the Muppets’ ship to land inside. The ship touched down gently inside the base. "LANDING BASE TO ONZGO, LANDING BASE TO ONZGO. THE SHIP FROM EARTH HAS ARRIVED, REPEAT, THE SHIP FROM EARTH HAS ARRIVED," a voice rang over the P.A. system.
Me: Kermie and the gang are here!
The stairs of the ship descended to the floor of the base. "I’m coming Robin!" a voice shouted before a green frog darted down the stairs in great haste and running all the way down the landing bay into the main room.
Me: Aww, such a caring uncle...
Gonzo and Onzgo met Kermit halfway into or out of the landing area. "Kermit!" Gonzo shouted.
"Gonzo!" Kermit hugged the weirdo. "Where’s Robin?"
Me: Yeah Gonzo, where is he??
Gonzo: I dunno, you're the writer.
Gonzo opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Onzgo let out a loud yelping noise and pointed his long blue finger towards the landing bay.
Me: ...Heh, loud yelping noise...Forgot about that...
The ladder of the spaceship began to lift itself up back to its frozen position when the metal began to smelt onto the outside of the ship. As the Gonzonian landing crew attempted to do something the hatch began to rip open, tearing the metal apart. Suddenly the spaceship’s rockets began to ignite and turn the ship around, shooting it back out into space.
Kermit and the alien brothers ran inside the landing bay. "Piggy!" the frog shouted.
Me: See Layla?! I AM ushy gushy!
"Oh no," Onzgo fell to his knees. "No no no," he wailed. "This cannot be happening!" he cried.
Gonzo got down onto his knees as well and tried to comfort his brother.
Kermit stared out into the vast blackness his best friends disappeared to. In the middle of all the panicking a faint ringing was heard. Kermit pulled out his interstellar phone and stared at it. It rang and rang, and Kermit just stared. Finally, he picked up. "Scooter..." was all the frog could muster.
"Boss! Oh boss, where are you? If you’re not at the space station yet, turn back! You’re all in danger!" Scooter’s voice shouted from the other end.
"Scooter..." the amphibian hung up on his go-fer.
Me: He HUNG UP on him!! Eeee! This is so exciting!
Oh sure... You say it's exciting now. But just wait until the scene with Kermit and Gonzo... Well, I'll leave that one for you to explain Mr. Author.
BTW: Liked Exod's musical number. For some reason, it reminds me of the one with Scar in the original Lion King movie, which for some reason made me think it had a certain Naziish element which I think was recaptured here.
Fozzie, Piggy, Pepe, Rizzo and Animal were trapped behind a cage of lasers. Bobo, Butch and Clyde were trapped in another cell next to them.
Me: Oh this scene is so much fun!
Gonzo: I thought they all were?
Me: *shrug* I just try to specify.
Piggy paced the floor of the small prison cell the five Muppets were trapped in. Finally, she lost control, "Fozzie, Go!"
"What?" Fozzie asked timidly.
"GO! Run through the lasers!"
Gonzo: Ooh! Fun!
"What? Piggy, I can’t do that."
Gonzo: I can!
Me: I thought you’d like this scene Gonzo...
"You did it in the Christmas movie, you can do it now! Go!"
Me: REFERENCE!! To "It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie." Whew, that’s a long title.
"But Piggy that was just a-"
"See Ritzo, I told jou, she’d crack in five minutes or less, hokay?" Pepe laughed.
Me: Oh Pepe Pepe Pepe, what a tangled web you weave.
Gonzo: Shrimp don’t weave webs.
Me: King prawn.
"Fine, fine, here ya go," Rizzo muttered handing over a five dollar bill.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Mayhem had become more than routine with the Muppets, but the mayhem that was being experienced now was not the routine anyone wanted to see or be a part of.
Gonzo: Is it the Electric Mayhem?
"Like we’ve got to help them!" Janice said.
"We need to think of a clever plot device!" chimed in Floyd.
Gonzo: I guess it was.
"Floo hoon foor der froogy!" The Swedish Chef moaned.
"We’ve gotta do something!" Rowlf shouted.
Gonzo: They got some new members...
"Dr. Dew, we gotta get up into space now!" Clifford decided.
"NO!" Uncle Deadly shouted silencing the crowd. All eyes turned onto the phantom. "We are going nowhere! Kermit and the others are already in enough danger as it is, and the only way we can help them is by staying here."
Me: You tell ‘em Uncle D. Ooh! Look! More Muppets to name!
"But what can we do here?"
Me: Not sure actually...
"We could be good upstanding Americans!"
"Why start now?"
Me: Floyd or Rowlf.
"Mee mo mo mee mee meep!"
Me: Thank you Gonzo.
"Where are we gonna get twelve sheep?"
"Yo yo yo ya’ll quiet down!" Clifford yelled.
"-So I told him, I don’t care what Princess Leia was wearing in ‘Star Wars’, no way am I going to..."
Me: I tried really hard to reference Star Wars a lot...
Gonzo: I think you did.
Me: Thanks Gonz.
"Come on Janice, that is way too much info," Clifford said sternly. "Come on guys we’ve gotta remain calm!"
Uncle Deadly stepped to Clifford’s side and nodded. "We must stay here and wait for Kermit to call again, we can only help when needed. So everyone head to the seats and sit!" Uncle Deadly disappeared through a secret wall and up to his private quarters. A tall dark cloak stood in front of Deadly’s fireplace. "HAVE YOU DONE YOUR JOB DEADLY?" the figure asked.
Gonzo: So THAT’S what he looks like up close...
"Yes, all of the Muppets shall remain here Death," Uncle Deadly said nonchalantly, joining the archangel in front of the fireplace. "How are they?"
"NO DEATHS YET," the chilled voice said.
Uncle Deadly nodded slowly and looked deep into the fire. In the rippling flames, Deadly saw the other Muppets locked away, and Fozzie’s fur singed. Uncle Deadly silently said a prayer for his friends and watched the suffrage that was ensuing in space.
Gonzo: Lucky Fozzie...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Onzgo, Gonzo and Kermit darted to Onzgo’s chamber. "Des, contact Exodia! Now!" Onzgo shouted.
Des Filmer left the side of Zongo and typed something into the computer contacting system. The screen on the wall of the room lit up again putting Exod on. "Oh Onzgo, it’s you, hello there," the monster said.
Me: Mmmm, I do NOT like that guy.
"Exod! This time you have gone too far!" Onzgo shouted. "You have taken Earthlings! Surrender them now!"
Exod laughed an evil laugh. "And just what gives you the right to demand that of me?" he asked.
Onzgo sighed. "Because...Because I surrender myself to you."
Gonzo: *wide eyes* WHAAAAT?!
"What?!" both Gonzo and Des Filmer asked.
Me: *blink* MAN you’re good at that Gonzo.
Behind them all, Zongo sat up slowly, rubbing his bald head. "What a nap..." he muttered.
Kermit broke his concentration from the monitor and turned to see Zongo sit up, he still hardly understood what was going on, so he returned to the monitor to try and find out.
Onzgo nodded. "Yes, I give myself up, I am yours. As long as you release the Earthlings..." he sighed.
Me: Oh oh oh! I LOVE this part!
Zongo shot out of his bed. "Onzgo, my lord...What are you doing?"
"Zongo, sit, you’re not fully healed yet," Onzgo said. "So Exod, do we have a deal?"
"I give myself up too!" Zongo shouted.
"No!" Onzgo said. "Zongo silence yourself!"
Me: You’re very repetitive you know that?
Gonzo: It’s YOUR fault!
"Not this time sir. Exod you must take me if you’re taking Onzgo."
Gonzo was breathing heavily. "No...Please don’t..." he whispered.
Exod stared down at them. "Fine," he said blankly. He snapped his fingers and both Onzgo and Zongo disappeared from the room.
"NO!" Gonzo fell to his knees. "No no no!" he slammed his fist on the ground. "This can’t be happening!"
Gonzo: This really can’t be happening CAN IT?!
Des turned off the monitor. "Gonzo...With the disappearance of your brother...You are the new leader...What...What are your orders?"
Me: Oh great, not again...
Gonzo gulped. "Get me a ship. I’m going to Exodia now to settle this."
"And if Gonzo’s going, I’m going too," Kermit spoke up.
"No Kermit, I won’t let you."
"Sorry Gonzo, not this time. I’m going. You’re my friend, I’m going to be there for you."
Gonzo hugged Kermit then turned to Des. "Are you coming with us?" Gonzo asked.
"I’ll drive you there, but I think I should stay here in case someone tries to make contact," Des replied.
"Good idea," Gonzo said. "Let’s go."
Me: *bounces* Oh this is so exciting!!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Onzgo and Zongo reappeared inside Exod’s throne room. "Welcome!" a shrill voice shouted, as a silver alien jumped on top of Zongo, collapsing the human on the spot.
Me: He gets knocked out a lot in this...I think I was just trying to remove his character as much as possible...Oh! And I’m supposed to answer a question here for FraggleMuppet. I changed Ed’s personality from that of MFS because he went to space and it was a huge change to his life. And I figured since he was so lonely on Earth he’d change his personality with friends on Gonzonia.
Gonzo: What a long explanation...
"It was you!" Onzgo shouted. "You knocked out Zongo before!"
"Guilty as charged!" Xaldin cackled. "Now I think it’s about time for a family reunion, eh?"
Onzgo struggled as Xaldin held his arms behind his back and pushed him to the throne. Exod sat with his fist on his chin, staring down at his nemesis. "You really have given up, haven’t you?"
Onzgo lifted his head and stared back. "No, no I have not. Gonzo will stop you, Gonzo will fulfill his destiny and destroy you!"
Gonzo: I’ll do what now?!
Exod shook his head. "Are you kidding? Your brother’s so afraid of threatening his own life, he’s probably already running back to Earth!"
Me: He’d have to fly...
"No!" Flanzgo shouted from behind the throne. "Daddy don’t listen to him! Uncle Gonzo will save us!"
Exod stood up from his throne and walked back to where Flanzgo dangled by her arms. "I have had about enough out of you!" Exod shouted.
"And I you Exod! All of my life I’ve lived in the constant threat of Exodian attack, I think it’s about time I end it," Flanzgo said.
Me: Whoa! Princess is getting feisty!
Gonzo: That’s my niece!
Me: Yes, we’ve been over this...
"End your life? What a marvelous idea!" Exod shouted, grabbing Flanzgo by the chest and ripping her off the wall, with the chains still attached to her arms.
Me: Pay attention to those chains everyone! They come in really handy later on!
"NO!" Onzgo shouted. "Leave her alone!"
"Stop it please!" Robin shouted from his place on the wall. "Don’t hurt her!"
Me: Mmmm! Robin!!
Gonzo: Gotta love him.
Exod extended his hand at Onzgo’s face. Onzgo’s eyes lit up.
Gonzo: What?! What is it?!
"Now Onzgo, say farewell to your princess!" Exod bellowed.
Flanzgo’s eyes met her father’s, she tried to speak, tried to scream. And all her father could do was laugh.
Me: OH I HATE THAT LINE!!
Gonzo: I thought it was very good...Chilling.
Me: I know! It’s tortured me!!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Onzgo’s thoughts trailed from watching Exod about to destroy his daughter, and instead he saw a day from the past. The day Flanzgo was born. He cradled the baby in his arms and laughed in happiness.
This was Exod’s power. By simply extending his hands at the victim’s face, he could make them live out their greatest fear, or relive the happiest moment in their life. Not even Onzgo was immune to these powers that Exod had within him. In all reality, noone was. Not the slave boy, not Exod’s prisoners, friends or even family, all were harmed by the wrath of the ruler.
Me: Oh oh oh oh oh!!
Gonzo: Is that the letter of the day?
Of course these were not Exod’s only powers, he also had the ability to control the ground inside his throne room, that is how he caused geysers to erupt from the floor, that is why he almost never leaves the throne room. That is where his power lies, and that is where he would stay.
Onzgo held the baby tightly in his arms. "I promise you Flanzgo, I will make you a better life than I had, I promise you that," the new father thought to himself.
Me: *sniffle* I promised myself I wouldn’t cry...
Gonzo: Don’t worry, I brought the Kleenex.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Des Filmer landed the Gonzonian spacecraft on the planet surface of Exodia. "I must return with great haste, if this ship is spotted here it’ll be shot down immediately!"
Gonzo and Kermit hustled out of the ship, Gonzo waved back to Des as the ship pulled away and back to the Gonzonian station. Kermit and the weirdo moved rapidly inside, running down the corridors.
"Kermit, you go find the dungeon cells, Piggy and the others should be there, I’ll go after Exod," Gonzo told his friend.
Me: Oh Gonzo, you’re so awesome...
Gonzo: I know, I know.
Kermit gulped. "Are you sure you’ll be alright Gonzo?"
"Yes, now go," Gonzo said, running off.
Kermit stopped, he stared down the hallway as Gonzo ran. He had never abandoned any of his friends before, he felt that he had always been there for each of them at least once. Fozzie, Scooter, Piggy, Rowlf, Clifford, Beauregard...He wasn’t about to let Gonzo change that. Kermit began to move his flippers again and followed behind Gonzo.
Me: Wow! SO many references there! Fozzie is just a general TMS reference, Scooter is a reference to a few of Sara’s stories, Rowlf is a reference to Beth the lovely Rowlf writer, Clifford a reference to Effralyo’s stories, and of course Beau is a reference to Beau and his "What’s on the Other Side" story that was oh so very lovely.
Gonzo: Wow, that was a lot of references. Wait...Is that it?
Me: Yup. But we’ll do more tomorrow, promise.
Yep... And I sure hope to get that more commentary tomorrow as well.
Loved the insight into this chapter... Especially the bits with Exod threatening Flanzgo, conjuring Onzgo's happiest moment, and of course... The chains!
Keep it comin'!
Gonzo ran into the throne room shouting. "NO!"
Gonzo: Oh I have a bad feeling about upcoming chapters...
Me: Have your feelings ever been wrong before?
Gonzo: No, why?
Me: ...Just wondering...
Exod turned to the alien that darted in. He dropped Flanzgo to the floor and released Onzgo from his psychic grasp. "Xaldin, take care of him," he said to his slave.
"Ooh hoo hoo! My pleasure!" the chameleon-like alien grinned. He began to blend in with the color of the floor, disappearing.
Gonzo stopped in his tracks and looked all around, Xaldin was nowhere in sight. Gonzo was tripped, he fell to his face. "What the-" Gonzo was kicked in the side. "Ah!" Gonzo shouted.
Me: Oh Gonzo!! Fight back!!
Gonzo: I can’t see him!
Me: SO?! You can never see the danger of any stunts you do! And that doesn’t stop you!
Exod laughed menacingly. "How does it feel Gonzo?" he bellowed.
Gonzo propped himself up on his elbow and stared into Exod’s beady yellow eyes. "It feels...GREAT!" the weirdo rolled onto his back and grabbed into the air. Xaldin reappeared in with his foot caught in Gonzo’s hands. Gonzo tossed Xaldin off to the side.
Gonzo: WAAAAAA-HOOOOOO!!! I’m BACK! HA HA!
Me: Um, Gonzo you-
Gonzo: YES! I’m BACK! *dances*
Onzgo watched in amazement and happiness at his brother’s return to intentional pain. "Go brother Gonzo go!"
Gonzo charged towards Exod with fury in his eyes. Exod’s face grew stern and serious (Even more so than it usually was), and extended his hand.
Gonzo collapsed to the floor.
Me: *sigh* I tried to warn him...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Okay ONE, TWO, THREE!" Piggy shouted. She, Pepe, Rizzo and Animal pushed Fozzie towards the bars of laser.
"YIIIIIIIIIII!!" Fozzie yelped as he was electrocuted by the bars and sent flying back to the wall of the cell.
Me: Oh I love this chapter...
Gonzo: *collapsed on the floor*
Bobo, Butch and Clyde watched the scene from their prison on the other side of the other Muppets. "We’re never getting out of here!" Clyde moaned.
"Well if someone didn’t have the bright idea to steal a spaceship, we wouldn’t be in this mess!" Butch said harshly.
Clyde sighed. "Yeah Butch, I guess you’re right...It was a dumb idea on my part..."
Me: Clyde Clyde Clyde...
"Yes, yes it was," a satisfied Butch said.
"Alright, let’s give it another go!" Piggy shouted, grabbing Fozzie up by his shoulders.
Me: Oh Piggy...
"Go! Go!" Animal chanted.
"HOLD IT!!" Fozzie screamed. "I’ve got...A better...Idea...." he breathed out.
Me: Well it’s about time!
"Oh yeah? What?" Piggy asked angrily.
"Pepe...Slips...Through...The bars..." Fozzie spat out before collapsing on the floor.
Me: Oh, well that seems like a logical answer...Oh, great, now Fozzie AND Gonzo are collapsed on the floor...
"Slip through the bars?" Piggy asked sarcastically. "Yeah right, like he could-"
"Oh Miss Bacon Bits!" Pepe called from the other side of the laser bars. Piggy did a double take. "Jou were saying?" Pepe asked as he pressed the button releasing the Muppets.
Me: I think Pepe better watch his nicknames for her, or he may end up like Gonzo and Fozzie.
"Hey there Pepe, that was brave and selfless ya know?" Bobo patted the prawn on the back.
Gonzo: *jolts up* What?! What?! I’m UP!
Me: Sheesh...Anyway, that’s a reference to a line from IaVMMCM.
"Self-less! Ha ha ha!" Animal laughed.
"Yeah that was very nice of you mister shrimp!" Clyde stated.
"King prawn," Pepe corrected him.
"Yeah man, great job," Rizzo slapped Pepe on the back, knocking him over.
Me: Sheesh, I was right about Pepe ending up like Gonzo and Fozzie...
Gonzo: What about me?
"Hey morons!" Piggy shouted. "We’ve got a frog to save! Now let’s go!" she ran up the stairs.
Me: Oh? Do I get to say more names? Fun!
"Si si, vamanos!"
"Yeah let’s do this thing!"
Me: Bobo or Butch methinks.
"What thing Butch?"
Me: Hmm, guess it was Butch. And that was Clyde.
"Ooh, that’s gonna leave a mark there...Can I get ya an ice pack?"
Me: Bobo there then.
Me: Animal is the only logical choice.
Gonzo: Since when do you care for logical choices?
"Fun-ny stuff there you guys! You should write a joke book!"
Me: And finally Fozzie.
"COME ON!" Piggy yelled.
Gonzo: Yeah! I wanna see what happened to me!
Me: Brave and selfless Gonzo...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Gonzo was in a dark room, a single window let in the evening twilight. He looked all around him. A door opened and a short figure let off a shadow.
Gonzo: That’s better.
Camilla waddled in silently.
Gonzo jumped up. "Camilla! You’re here! Oh honey I missed you!" he ran forward to hug her, but she stepped aside. "Camilla, what’s wrong?"
Camilla opened her beak, she did not cluck, she spoke. "So, you’re back?" she asked.
Me: Not again...
Gonzo tripped over himself. "Camilla...You can...You can talk?"
Me: *trips over Gonzo* Oh, oops.
Camilla glared at Gonzo, Gonzo stared into her eyes longingly, desperately wishing she’d return the stare.
Me: Layla if you EVER thought I wasn’t ushy gushy, reread...And Dr. Bob, I’ll take more anesthetic whenever it’s ready...
"But...Camilla...How...Oh Camilla..." he reached a furry blue hand out.
Camilla pecked his hand, making a small cut. "Don’t sugar me," she said sternly.
Me: OH snap!
Gonzo: *still collapsed*
Me: Oh! And now she’s singing! Whee!
"First I was afraid
I was petrified," Camilla sang with her newfound voice.
"Kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
And so you’re back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face.
"Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
You think I’d crumble?Y
ou think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to life
I’ve got all my love to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive!"
Me: What a fun song!
Gonzo: *jumps up* FUN?! You call that FUN?! It was an emotional train wreck for me!!
Me: You LOVE train wrecks!
Gonzo: That’s not the point!
Me: I think Camilla’s beak might be the point...
Gonzo fell back on his behind. "Camilla...Honey...We can work this out...Please..."
Camilla ignored him, she continued to sing violently. "It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart."
"NO! Stop it! Stop it now!" Gonzo shouted. "STOP!!"
Me: It’s done Gonzo. It’s all over...It’s almost all over...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Byuck buck bawk bawk bagawk!" Camilla clucked to Clifford.
Gonzo: You said it was OVER!!
"Look, I’m sorry, but we can’t go up there! Uncle Deadly locked us all in here! Sheesh, talk about your jerk chicken!" the co-host muttered.
Gonzo: You think he’d learn from rooming with her...
Me: I know I have.
Camilla attacked Clifford with a furious pecking of her beak. After a few seconds she stood back up and straightened her feathers. "Bagawk!" she huffed.
Me: And this is how I feel after learning said lesson.
Clifford stood up with a lense of his sunglasses cracked. "Man...What else could go wrong?"
Me: Well there’s-
As if on cue, above Clifford’s head a light flickered out. "Hey Clifford, the light’s busted again!" Scooter called.
Me: Yeah, that.
"I know, I know..." Clifford muttered.
Gonzo: Can we get back to me now?
Me: I don’t think you want to...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Exod walked in front of Gonzo’s screaming body. "Oh how the mighty have fallen," he said softly.
Xaldin and Xander picked up Zongo’s unconscious body and hung it on another set of chains.
Exod raised his palm to the tip of Gonzo’s nose and began clenching fingers down, making Gonzo twitch in emotional pain.
Gonzo: Not even I like that kind of pain!!
The four prisoners watched in horror, Onzgo turned his head away and closed his eyes, Flanzgo whimpered and Robin screamed. Zongo hung silently.
Me: ROBIN SCREAMED!! AUGH!! HOW could I write that?!
Kermit ran through the open door leading into the throne room like a rocket. He stopped, paralyzed in fear. He looked from Gonzo to Exod to the other four. "Stop this right now! Leave Gonzo alone!" Kermit shouted.
Exod put down his hand and turned his entire form to face the frog. Gonzo clenched his arm and sat up, it hurt to sit up, it felt good to sit up. Exod looked the frog in his eyes. "You think you can order me around? Me, Exod, the ruler of this universe."
Gonzo: It felt good to sit up. Very nice Ryguy.
Me: Grathius weirdo.
Gonzo reached his shaking hand up and grabbed hold of Exod’s robe, which wasn’t very hard at all. Exod didn’t look down, he extended his hand and the floor beneath Kermit’s feet broke open and Kermit fell.
Gonzo: That scene looks vaguely familiar...
Me: It should, it was in the flash forward sequence when you were in a coma.
Gonzo: You mean the part where you showed Camilla getting thrown into a cage?
Gonzo shot forward. He moved faster than he ever had before, clearing half the throne room in time to grab Kermit’s hand.
Exod laughed out loud. He blinked and appeared behind Gonzo. He stared down at his arch-rival, and kicked.
Me: This is the third time tonight...*sigh* Oh well, back to the dorms... *drags Gonzo back to the dorm by his ankles, again*
Originally posted by Prawny: Me: OH snap!
Gonzo: *still collapsed*
Me: Oh! And now she’s singing! Whee!
*Lightning shoots down the author.
Uncle Deadly told you not to say that, you mortal fool!
Besides that... Great update with the commentary... But you'd better stock up on tissues and teddys for the next couple of chapters... It's going to get, well, panicky squealy.
Hey Prawny... Know you're having great fun with the new story... But could we please get some more commentary to finish this one? Thanks.
"Kermit!" Uncle Deadly reached his clawed blue hand towards the fire.
"PATIENCE DEADLY, PATIENCE," Death placed a bony hand onto Uncle Deadly’s shoulder. "THIS IS NOT OVER YET."
Me: Ooh hoo hoo hoo! I LOVE this chapter!! Gonzo, you brought the Kleenex, right?
Me: Good, we’re gonna need them...
Uncle Deadly turned his blue head grimacing at Death. "Not over? They have fallen Death! We must go there now!"
"YOU ARE BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE THE OTHER FOOLS HERE MY OLD FRIEND, TRUST ME. PATIENCE IS THE KEY." Death reassured the phantom.
Deadly inhaled through his nostrils. The dragon-like creature returned his focus to the fire and hoped beyond all hope that Death was right.
Me: Oh me too!!
Gonzo: You?! You’re not halfway down the chasm!
Me: *sings* Halfway down the chasm is a cliff where I hang...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"SAVE FROG! SAVE FROG!" Animal repeated as he ran through the halls of the Exodian space port.
"Yeah yeah! Robin needs us!" Fozzie said.
"Si si, even little frogs need helps, hokay?" Pepe chimed in as he and Rizzo ran along side Fozzie.
Bobo hobbled in with Piggy wiped out on his shoulder. "Hey guys?" Bobo panted. "Slow down, Piggy can’t jog...She...Passed out..." Bobo said.
Me: DOUBLE REFERENCE!! One to The Muppets Take Manhattan and another to my story "Sometimes it’s Better to Go."
Butch and Clyde tagged behind the others. "Hey, hey Butch?" Clyde asked his boss. "Are we good guys now?"
"Well...Uh...Yeah I guess, it seems like these guys here need our help, although, we aren’t licenced psychiatrists, so we can’t help that much," Butch said as they both continued towards the throne room.
Me: That is so true...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Gonzo and Kermit fell down the crack on the planet’s surface that Exod had opened. "Kermit! Don’t let go of my hand!" Gonzo called down.
"I wasn’t going to!" Kermit called back clenching Gonzo’s furry blue hand with all his might.
Gonzo scanned the rocky sides of the cracked wall, he saw an opportunity and grabbed it, literally. He reached out his free hand and held onto a ledge of cliff halfway down the hole.
Gonzo: OH WHAT A CATCH!
Me: And you didn’t even have a glove.
"Kermit, are you alright?" Gonzo asked, still feeling the presence of Kermit’s hand in his.
"I’ve been in better situations," Kermit gulped.
Gonzo: I WOULD THINK SO!
Gonzo breathed recklessly. "Please don’t leave me Kermit," Gonzo said.
Me: *grabs Kleenex*
Kermit gulped. "I won’t Gonzo, I promise."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Exod’s laugh echoed through the halls and the throne room, he had won.
Or so he thought, Onzgo hoisted himself up off the floor. "Exod!" he cried in rage.
Me: HAHAHA! Take THAT Exod!
Exod turned back to the leader of the Gonzonians. "Onzgo," he nodded.
"You have taken this too far!" Onzgo stamped his foot. "Not only have you not released the Earthling prisoners, but you have destroyed my brother!"
"I love it when my work goes appreciated," Exod said as he began to stroll over towards Onzgo.
Gonzo: I HATE that guy!
Me: Me too Gonzo, me too.
"I will wipe you out!"
"You would try."
Me: Beau loved this scene...
Onzgo closed his eyes and inhaled. "This is the last straw," he said calmly.
"Daddy don’t," Flanzgo reached a chained hand towards her father.
"Let me be," Onzgo told her. He reached to the top of his head and took off his jeweled crown. His head reached to nearly the top of where the crown would have been.
Me: I love this scene too!!
Gonzo: I haven’t been this nervous since my last stunt with the safety pins!
"And just what do you plan on doing with that thing?" Xaldin cackled out from the top of the throne.
Onzgo turned his tall head to the throne, he stuck out his three fingers and pointed them towards the creature. "This!" he shouted, sending Xaldin flying back against the wall in a blast of psychic power.
Me: OH SNAP!
Gonzo: You do realize you’ve got Uncle Deadly and Ed on your back for that now.
Me: *shrug* I enjoy it...
Onzgo stood battle ready staring Exod in the eyes. "It is time," the UberGonzo said loudly. Onzgo charged forward towards the arch ruler Exod without fear.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Kermit held tightly to Gonzo’s right hand with both of his, and Gonzo held onto the ledge with his left.
"Kermit...I’m so sorry..." Gonzo finally said.
"Gonzo...You have nothing to be sorry for, you’ve done nothing wrong!" Kermit argued.
Me: OHHHH!! Gonzo GIVE ME those Kleenex!!
"Oh but Kermit...I brought you all here on this crazy space journey...Now we’re all basically doomed...Oh Kermit..."
Kermit smiled and looked up at Gonzo. "This looks familiar
Almost unreal yet
It’s too soon to feel yet
Close to my soul
And yet so far away
I’m going to go back there someday," Kermit sang softly.
Me: OH IT’S THE SOOOOONG!!
Gonzo: MY song!!
Me: And mine too!
Gonzo: Who said?
Gonzo looked down at his friend with his huge nose. "Sun rises, night falls
Sometimes the sky calls
Is that a song there?
And do I belong there?
I’ve never been there
But I know the way
I’m going to go back there someday," Gonzo chimed in.
"Come and go with me
It’s more fun to share
We’ll both be completely
At home in midair," Gonzo continued.
"We’re flyin’ not walking
On featherless wings
We can hold onto love
Like invisible strings," Kermit finished the verse.
"There’s not a word yet
For old friends who’ve just met," both friends sang in harmony.
"Part heaven, part space
Or have we found our place?" both of them nodded at once.
"You can just visit," Kermit sang alone.
"And I’ll visit too."
"I’m going to go back there with you," they both finished the song.
Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEE!! That is the BEST SONG EVER!!
"Yeah," Gonzo nodded.
"We love you you know Gonzo," Kermit smiled.
"I know Kermit, I know. I love you guys too."
Me: *sniff sniff* *blows nose in Kleenex*
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Xander and Xaldin watched as Exod and Onzgo did battle with each other, Exod erupting geysers and Onzgo hurling psychic energy. "Go boss!" Xander called.
Xaldin tipped his head towards him. "You should be a cheerleader," he said sarcastically.
"Oh I was," Xander replied.
Me: HA! I forgot that part!
Xaldin slapped his head, so he had his hand over his eyes when Piggy and the others ran into the throne room.
"Miss Piggy!" Robin shouted from his chains on the wall.
The frog’s small voice didn’t stop the fighting for a second, Exod and Onzgo continued to attack each other with their respective powers.
Fozzie gulped. "Oh Piggy...Do we have to?" he whined.
Me: Of course you do!!
"You better believe it bub!" Piggy growled.
"Nice alliterations, hokay?"
"Don’t worry Robin, Piggy’s comin’!" Rizzo called over.
"Yeah, and so are you!" Piggy grabbed Rizzo by the jacket and dragged him along. When none of the others followed, Piggy shot them a glare making them hop to it.
Xaldin began to get annoyed. "How many of these Earthlings are there?"
Me: One thing you’ve gotta learn about the Muppets, they always come in groups!
"Hey!" Robin called to the alien. "One thing you should learn about the Muppets, we always come in groups!"
Me: Yeah! That!
Gonzo: Dang writers...
Xaldin hissed at the frog and jumped off the throne landing right in front of the others. "Hello Earthlings, come to join the party, eh?"
"Oh there’s a party!" Clyde said. "Butch, we should’ve brought an appetizer!"
Butch shook his head. "Every time there’s a party you forget one Clyde! Every time!"
Me: Those two! I love ‘em!
Xaldin blinked. "Are these guys for real?"
"Oh yeah," Piggy rolled her eyes. "They really are that dumb."
"How come you guys are getting all the good jokes?" Fozzie asked.
Me: Poor Fozzie.
"Blame da writers," Rizzo said.
Xaldin tilted his head. "Excuse me, but I came here to fight you and..."
"Oh no excuse us little fella," Bobo said. "Please go right ahead."
Gonzo: Gotta love Bobo.
"Thank you," Xaldin replied. He jumped into action and camouflaged into the room.
"Look what ya did Clyde, you scared ‘im off!" Butch yelled.
"I did not, he just turned-" Clyde was knocked over.
"He he he he!" cackling echoed around the Muppets.
"What the-" Pepe started before he was picked up off the ground and hurled across the room.
Me: Flying shrimp!
Gonzo: That’s not even funny.
Rizzo began to hop around in fear, "Oh my go-Where did he-How are we gonna-OH SOMEONE HELP US!" the rat shouted.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Gonzo looked up. "Rizzo?" he whispered. "Rizzo!" he shouted in realization. "Kermit we’ve gotta do something!"
Kermit’s fingers were beginning to numb. "There isn’t much we can do Gonzo!"
"But we have to help them! We just have to!"
Kermit frowned. "We can’t..."
Gonzo: WE HAVE TO!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Flanzgo watched in horror as her father was hit with a geyser, then regained happiness as Onzgo blasted Exod with psychic energy. She looked down at her hands, her wrists were still chained, she looked down the chains, they stretched all the way to the back wall. She looked at the back wall, Zongo was still knocked out, hanging silently, and Robin...Robin shouted, cheering on his friends from Earth, but Flanzgo could see through him, he was hurting inside, his uncle had fallen. Her uncle had fallen as well.
Gonzo: I’M her uncle!!
She crawled over to the crack in the floor dragging her chains behind her. "Uncle Gonzo! Can you hear me?!" she shouted down the hole.
"Flanzgo?" Gonzo’s voice echoed up. "Flanzgo! Can you help us?"
Me: She caaaaaaaan!
Flanzgo looked around. "I...I don’t know...How far down are you?"
There was no response for a second. "Probably about thirteen feet!"
"How do you know that?" Kermit’s froggy voice asked.
"It’s a weirdo thing."
Me: OH I LOVE THAT PART!!
Flanzgo looked around. "There’s nothing here for me to throw down!" she began to breath recklessly, "I’ll think of something! I promise!" she put her hands up to her mouth to make her voice louder. She looked down at her wrists. "Wait! I’ve got it!" she threw her hands over the side letting the chains fall down the chasm. And as Kermit’s fingers began to slip from Gonzo’s grasp, the two friends began to realize that Flanzgo was their last hope.
Me: GO Flanzgo GO!!
Mmm... Delicious commentary, thank you Ryan. The song and the chains and the fights and the everything... Now please post more of either this or the new story.
Oh, and before I take my leave... Get him Uncle D!
*Lightning shoots from the phantomly dragon's palms... Me thinks this knave has yet to learn his lesson.
Then keep blasting him, just as Camilla pecked him when he wouldn't lay off the egg jokes.
Uncle D: Certainly my fiend...
*Keeps blasting with lightning palms.
Me: This may in fact be my favorite chapter.
"Okay you rats, move that thing, yeah over there, uh huh," Scooter shouted to some rats carrying a piece of scenery for Miss Piggy’s pig musical number for the next show. "Hey hey, wait," Scooter stopped the rodents. "Phil, what are you doing?"
Me: Now, up there see where it says "pig musical number" well actually that’s a typo. It’s supposed to say "big musical number."
Gonzo: Big, pig, what’s the difference?
Me: I would duck next time you see Piggy...
Scooter asked a tall headed Muppet wearing medical goggles, gloves and an apron who was helping the rats with the scenery. "Oh, well you know, I’m just trying to help out my little vermin companions here Scooter sir," Dr. Phil van Neuter told the go-fer.
Me: Hey! It’s Dr. Phil!
Gonzo: I don’t think he’s a real doctor...
Scooter shook his head. "No no Phil, we hired you as a veterinarian, not a stage-hand."
"Not that he was qualified for either," Rowlf remarked.
Me: I love Rowlf’s little quips...
"Oh sure," Dr. van Neuter said. "Hire me as a vet, oh, and why don’t you give me an assistant, Mulch, than use him as an extra in a movie and not me! Yeah, yeah, fine! Humph, c’mon rats, let’s go!" the doctor said escorting the rats off stage all except a larger one in a white under shirt.
"Hey der Scooter, don’t let da doc get to ya, he’s a few scalpels short of a dissection kit, if ya know what I mean," Bubba the Rat told Scooter.
Me: Hey! It’s Bubba!
"Yeah Bubba I know, I know," Scooter scribbled something off his list. "We wouldn’t’ve hired ‘im if you hadn’t convinced us that his other job at the C.O.V.N.E.T. alien hospital didn’t bomb," Scooter muttered.
"Did somebody say bomb?!" Crazy Harry jumped up from behind Scooter and pressed down on his dynamite plunger exploding dynamite in the rafters above making them crash down into the seats.
Me: Ah, the old jokes are always the best...
Gonzo: Unless you’re Fozzie.
Scooter covered his eyes and shook his head. "No way we’re gonna have a show ready when Kermit gets back..."
Uncle Deadly had come to check up on the Muppets after the explosion. If Kermit gets back. He thought to himself.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Gonzo watched as the chains came into view above his head, stopping six feet above his head.
Gonzo looked down at Kermit and growled. "Kermit, I’m gonna lift you up, grab the ledge!"
Gonzo: OH BE CAREFUL GONZO!!
Me: He’s talking to himself again...
Kermit gulped letting a finger slip out of Gonzo’s grasp. "Okay Gonzo."
Gonzo lifted his hand hoisting Kermit up, one of the frog’s hands fell loose. Gonzo lifted faster bringing Kermit up to the ledge. "Grab on!" Gonzo shouted urgently.
Kermit extended his free hand and grabbed onto the ledge. He let his other hand fall free of Gonzo’s and grabbed on with it as well. Gonzo did the same.
Gonzo: Oh thank goodness!
"Flanzgo, we can’t reach it!" Gonzo called up the chasm.
Flanzgo moaned. "Oh Uncle Gonzo hold on please! I’ll get help!"
"Gonzo?" Fozzie overheard. "Hey, hey Piggy, I think that girl over there said Gonzo was down that hole over there!" Fozzie told the kung-fu fighting pig.
"Oh yeah right," Piggy said as she karate chopped the thin air. "Gonzo’s on the space station with Kermit!" she was wacked in the back and she turned to hit back, but missed the invisible alien.
Gonzo: Oh well she certainly pays attention...
"Gonzo, is Kermit still alright?" Flanzgo called down.
"Kermie?!" Piggy shouted. "HI-YA!" Piggy screamed, kicking the invisible Xaldin in the side, making him visible again and knocking him over. "Humph," she snorted. "That’ll teach you to mess with a platinum princess," Piggy flipped her hair out of her face and scooted over to Flanzgo’s side. "How may moi help dear?" Piggy asked.
Me: Well if that won’t get a pig going...
Flanzgo looked into the lady pig’s eyes. "The chains, they won’t reach!"
Piggy stared down the hole and inhaled deeply. "Alright, I’m going to grab your feet and lower down a bit, alright?"
Me: I really really love this scene.
Flanzgo nodded fast as Piggy grabbed her feet and drooped her down the side. When Flanzgo was lowered Piggy’s arms length Flanzgo called down again. "Can you get it Uncle Gonzo?!"
Gonzo’s breath was reckless, he reached up his free hand and missed the chain by a few feet. "It’s still too short!"
Piggy’s face clammed up as Flanzgo’s weight began to weigh down on her dainty diva arms. "Fozzie! Help!" she called to the bear.
Fozzie turned around and gasped. He began to bite his fingers.
"Um...Um...Okay, okay, I’ll go get help, gotta go get help...Um...Um..."
Me: No Fozzie go help!
Gonzo: Yeah Fozzie HURRY!
"No Fozzie you help! NOW!"
Me: Yeah! That!
"Oh oh, gotcha gotcha!" Fozzie ran over to grab Piggy by the ankles. "Okay, gonna lower you down, lower you down...Oh, I can’t look!" Fozzie let go of one of Piggy’s feet to cover his eyes as Piggy was sent halfway over.
"Grab me grab me GRAB ME!!" Piggy screamed as Fozzie re-grabbed her ankle and lowered her down the rest of the way.
Me: Have I mentioned that I love this chapter?
Piggy’s scream awoke Zongo from his unconsciousness. He looked around and saw Robin hanging next to him. "What-Where are we?"
Robin turned his head to Zongo. "Well, uh, I’m not exactly sure, but Mr. Onzgo, and Exod are fighting, and everyone else is trying to save my Uncle Kermit and Gonzo from down that cliff."
Zongo gasped. This was not going well at all.
Me: Huh, what makes him think that...
"How ‘bout now Kermie?" Piggy called down.
"No! We can’t get it!" Kermit’s voice called back to Piggy.
Me: Oh their voices!! Calling back to each other! How sweet!
Gonzo: That probably wasn’t meant to be ushy gushy when you wrote it...
"Um...Help!" Fozzie cried as he began to slip down with Piggy and Flanzgo below him. "We are falling!!"
Butch turned his blue head over and saw the others falling. "Uh-oh, Clyde, take care of this, I gotta help!" he ran off, tossing Clyde a beat-up Xaldin from his hands.
Me: Ha! Poor Clyde.
"But-But..." Clyde stuttered. "Butch, don’t be a hero!" Clyde called after his best friend.
Butch turned around laughed at Clyde. "Heh, there’s a first time for everything bud!" he said before continuing over to Fozzie’s feet.
Me: Ah! That there was a torture line a gave to Lisa and Leyla awhile back.
"What’s goin’ on?" Butch asked, grabbing Fozzie’s feet before he even had an answer.
"The chains won’t reach, lower me down, we’ve got to help our friends at the bottom!" Fozzie replied.
"Right!" Butch nodded.
Gonzo: OH PLEASE LET THE CHAINS REACH!!
Flanzgo began to whimper as she was lowered down more. "Uncle Gonzo," she cried. "Please, please tell me it reaches!"
Gonzo grabbed up and got hold of the chains, Kermit grabbed the other chain. When they let go of the ledge, their weight pulled down on Flanzgo making all of the ones above her jerk down as well.
Me: I had so much mathematical trouble writing this chapter...See at the beginning I said that the chains stopped six feet above Gonzo, and then I started lowering down Muppets and I had to figure out how many of them were six feet...It was a mess. Almost as messy as trying to figure out the math of me and my other half giving each other high fives.
"PULL UP PULL UP!!" Piggy screamed in fear.
Butch began to pull backwards. "I can’t! It’s too heavy!"
Me: Oh Piggy, always weight conscious...
Gonzo: As she should be.
Me: You’re not gonna be conscious at all once she gets a hold of you...
"Watch it bub!" Piggy shouted back.
"His name’s Butch!" Clyde shouted as he grabbed onto his best friend and began to pull as well. "C’mon pull!"
Bobo grabbed onto Clyde’s furry pink back and pulled with all his strength, "I gotcha small fry, don’t fret!"
"Hey, who ya callin’ small fry?" Rizzo asked as he grabbed Bobo’s leg with his entire body and tried to pull.
"Si si, we aren’t small fries, hokay? We are small onjon rings!" Pepe pulled Rizzo’s tail with all four arms.
Me: Oh Pepe, you silly silly prawn.
"PULL PULL!" Animal chanted as he pulled Pepe and the others along finally making a bit of headway moving the chain of Muppets inch by inch.
Eight Muppets and an alien princess were either dangling or precariously perched over the side of a bottomless chasm, pulling with all of their might to save a frog and a whatever. Just another day in the life of the Muppets.
Gonzo: Ain’t it the truth...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Exod stuck out his hand, causing a pointed rock to fly up from the ground. Onzgo jumped back before it could hit him and sent a blast of psi-energy through the rock and towards Exod, who dodged and glared towards the alien ruler.
Me: I REALLY love this chapter!!
The ruckus stopped for a moment as the two rulers stared back into each other’s eyes.
"We...Are even..." Exod breathed out.
Onzgo controlled his breathing, he couldn’t show signs of weakness. "I would sacrifice my entire being to destroy you."
Gonzo: *wide eyes*
Exod didn’t know how to respond, so he erupted geysers in a circle around Onzgo. Onzgo took control of the steam with his mind and blew it back into the ground causing it to crack all around the floor.
"Do not test my power," Exod barked.
"I already have," Onzgo said calmly. "And you have failed!" he shouted with an extended hand and a blast of energy, knocking Exod on his back side.
"My lord! My lord my lord my lord!" Xander shouted as he darted over to Exod’s side. "Are you okay?"
Me: AUGH! Xander stay AWAY!
Gonzo: What’s going on?
Exod glared up into his servant’s eyes as Onzgo prepared another attack. As Onzgo fired, Exod grabbed Xander by the neck and hurled him into the line of fire.
Me: Oh...Oh Xander...I’m sorry...
The psi-beam hit Xander directly, sending him flying back against a nearby wall. The loyal servant fell from the wall to the ground silently and stayed that way.
Onzgo fell to his knees. "What have you done?!" he said.
Me: *blows in Kleenex*
"I have done what was necessary to win!" Exod stood up from the ground.
Me: YOU HEARTLESS FIEND!!!
Onzgo shook his large head. "But winning...Is more important to you...Than your own brother?"
Me: And THAT is where the fact that Exod kills Xander kills you inside too.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Death stroked his long wooden scythe. He pondered life, death, the pursuit of happiness...The usual. Life, the Muppets all lived, they lived well. The Muppets died, or at least Uncle Deadly did anyway, and Statler and Waldorf couldn’t be too far behind. Happiness...This one was tough. The Muppets tried to always remain happy and care free, but, when they get themselves into the situations such as they were in now, the pursuit of happiness seemed farther away.
Me: It took me awhile to write that paragraph...
Uncle Deadly reentered his private room quietly, Death didn’t notice his arrival. The phantom watched his employer and his scythe, the two were never separated. Uncle Deadly approached the cloaked arch angel. "The Muppets are doing well Death," the dragon-like creature informed.
Death nodded his hooded head. "I EXPECTED NO LESS."
"What about the others?" Uncle Deadly asked intently.
"SEE FOR YOURSELF, I THINK YOU’LL BE PLEASANTLY SURPRISED," Death motioned towards the roaring fire with his bony hand.
Gonzo: But what about Xander?!
Uncle Deadly strolled to the fire and looked intensely into the flames. He saw the chain of Muppets sprawled out across the throne room floor and smiled. "They do know how to handle things," he chuckled.
"NO MATTER HOW ODDLY THEY DO IT," Death replied.
"Well you can’t use the word ‘Muppet’ without having the word ‘odd’ to accompany it."
Me: Too true, too true.
"I’VE COME TO REALIZE THAT OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS."
Uncle Deadly grimaced, "Try being with them for thirty years my friend, you learn a lot more."
"YOU’VE DUG YOUR OWN GRAVE UNCLE DEADLY, METAPHORICALLY AND PHYSICALLY," Death said from inside his hood.
Uncle Deadly laughed once more. "And I have come to learn that over the past few years my old friend."
Me: Those two are really good together...
Death turned his head and looked directly at Deadly’s blue face. "AND THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT UNCLE DEADLY, ALL LIFE IS ALWAYS TEETERING ON THE BRINK OF LIVING AND DYING, SO WHEN DEATH DOES FINALLY COME, ALL LIFE FORMS ARE TRULY OLD FRIENDS WHO’VE JUST MET."
Me: And THAT is where the title comes into play!! Man oh man! This is the best chapter!!
Uncle Deadly smiled and placed his clawed blue hand on the black cloak. "You know, they really do need a word for that."
Gonzo: It’s effective either way.
Both friends laughed, Death’s laugh was warmer and gentler than usual, perhaps because of the suddenly roaring fire at their feet.
Uncle Deadly glanced down at the flames. "Death, what’s going on with the fire? The picture’s been muddled."
Death stood up in a flash. "DEADLY, STAY HERE," he told the phantom.
Me: Oh no...
"What? Why? Where are you going Death?" Deadly tried to protest, but it was no use, Death disappeared in an eruption of black flames around his body. Uncle Deadly jolted back to the fire, he stared hard into it. He began to realize where Death had gone. He just hoped he wouldn’t return with one of his friends in his arms.
Me: *deep breath* It gets really intense after this...
Gonzo: I can’t wait!
Me: Well you’re gonna have to! We’ve got a party to get ready for!
Not to mention the party's partly in your honor, o honored auteur.
Love the commentary... But moreso, I rully like the image of the Muppets chain lowering themselves to rescue the frog and thw whatever... And the jovial conversation between Death and Deadly, before the former left to fetch the new soul to cross over.
Please keep it coming, not much left!
I have a confession. Or maybe two? No, just one. I didn't finish reading this story until today.
Actually, it's two. I had two chapters left that I didn't read until this afternoon. I'm sorry.
But I have to tell you that within just the final two chapters I cried, and I smiled, and I laughed, and I "Awwww"ed. Uncle Deadly's mention of his funeral...it brings tears to be eyes each time I think about it, it really does.
I'm very sorry that I didn't comment on (or finish) this story before, but, it was amazing.
Please... Ryan prawny sir... Can we have some more please? Commentary, that is. Please?
Flanzgo felt her feet come back to the ground. "Uncle Gonzo, I’m at the top, you two are just at the bottom of my chains!"
All of the Muppets behind Flanzgo were pulling with all their might. Piggy’s face scrunched up as she used all of the strength from her karate chopping arms, Fozzie was glad that she was using that strength to help, and not hurt; him.
Me: Hehe! I’d be happy about that too Foz!
Flanzgo’s body was up enough on the cliff that she could stand and hold onto her chains with both hands and now able to help pull. "Come on you Muppets, we’re almost there!"
Me: Ooh! She called them "you Muppets" neat!
Piggy’s purple gloved hands wrapped around Flanzgo’s waist, Fozzie grabbed Piggy carefully, as not to touch anything he wasn’t supposed to. Butch held onto Fozzie with his brute strength, and Clyde tugged on the blue monster’s waist while Animal, Bobo, Rizzo and Pepe used all ten of their arms at once to save their friends inside the chasm.
Gonzo: *counts the arms to double check*
Me: *does the same* Pity Scooter isn’t here, we need someone to keep the numbers.
Gonzo: Should I count his arms too?
The slack of the chains reached the top of the cliff and slid along the throne room floor while the others began to step back in unison with each other in their arms.
Finally, a green hand and a blue hand were seen by the group (Or at least, those in the group that didn’t have their eyes closed from pulling so hard, which were about two of them).
Gonzo: Which two was that?
Me: I don’t know!
When the bodies of the two friends finally came to the top, the instant loss of weight sent the "chain" gang flying backwards on top of one another.
Me: Forgot I called them the "chain" gang.
Kermit and Gonzo lay on their stomachs, finally feeling land as opposed to suspension. "Kermit..." Gonzo said. "We’re okay."
Flanzgo carefully set herself up from on top of Miss Piggy. "Sorry Miss Piggy," she said.
"Oh, no problem at all dear," Piggy said. "Now," she grunted. "Could you...Ugh...Help me up?"
"Yes...Please help her up..." Fozzie moaned from beneath the pounds of weight.
Flanzgo grasped Piggy’s hand and pulled her up, Fozzie and all of the others stood up as well.
"Oh Kermie!" Piggy shouted running to her green groom.
Me: *sings* Uuuushy gushy...
"Gonzo Gonzo Gonzo!!" Rizzo squealed as he ran past the others towards the weirdo.
"Rizzo buddy!" Gonzo said.
"Ooh, hey look over there Butch!" Clyde said. "It’s one of those wrestling matches you love to watch on pay-per view!"
"That ain’t no wrestlin’ match! ...Although those outfits do look like wrestling garb." Butch stroked his chin.
Me: Those two...
Gonzo: Are about as smart as Beauregard.
"What?" Gonzo asked. He turned around and witnessed his one and only brother engage Exod in life-threatening combat.
"Robin!" Kermit pointed to the wall. "Animal, Butch, get him down! And Ed too!"
Me: Of COURSE Kermie notices Robin!
Gonzo: It’s KERMIT! NOT Kermie! KERMIT!
"Oh, hey, I can get him Kermit," Bobo said. "Us C.O.V.ie’s gotta stick together," the bear smiled. All of the Muppets ran to the wall, all except Gonzo and Flanzgo.
The two aliens stared across the chasm and at the leader of their people. A psi-wave split across the room towards Exod, who dodged, and countered with a shard of broken rock from a pillar he brought up from the ground. "Uncle Gonzo," Flanzgo placed her hand on her uncle’s shoulder.
Gonzo gulped. "I have to help him."
Gonzo: YEAH YOU DO!!
Me: You know they have pills for talking to yourself.
Gonzo: Speaking of which, have you taken your ushy gushy pills mister?
Me: *shifty eyes*
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The black flames erupted in a roar in front of Xander’s motionless body. Death emerged from the flames and moved toward the body. He shook his head slowly. "THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN," he sighed. He picked the alien up into his arms and stepped back into the still flowing black flames.
Me: Ooh! Death on Gonzonia!
Gonzo: But only Xander has died.
The slight distraction wasn’t enough to turn away the violence ensuing between the two enemies that were Exod and Onzgo.
Gonzo ran over to the outer lining of the pseudo ring that was drawn around them. "Onzgo! Let me help you!"
"Gonzo, you can help by getting your friends and family out of here! Now!" his brother shouted back.
Me: Oh Onzgo...He’s really at the end of his rope here.
Gonzo turned his body back to the wall where the prisoners hung. Zongo and Robin had been successfully removed from the wall and their chains, thanks to a little help from Animal. Gonzo turned back to his brother. "Alright, Onzgo I’ll get my family out of here, when can you come with us?" Gonzo asked.
Gonzo: Ooh! Nice job Gonz!
Onzgo blasted Exod with a shot of psi-power, knocking him on his side. "I will not be going with you my brother." Onzgo said courageously.
Gonzo rose his eyebrows. "What? Of course you are, let’s go!"
Gonzo: They’re actually eyelids.
Me: Good grief...
Onzgo shook his head slowly. "The only way to bring Exod’s terror to an end...Is for me to use all of my psychic powers in one mind-blowing blast. Literally."
Me: That too.
Gonzo’s could barely breath. "But...But...You can’t..."
Onzgo smiled. "Do not worry for me my brother, it is every Gonzonian’s wish to go out with such a bang! Let me live out my last act audaciously, courageously and all around groovy-like."
Me: Mm! Do it Onz! This is your ride! Take it all the way!
Gonzo smiled back at his brother for the last time. "I understand completely. I’ll miss you," he hugged his brother.
Onzgo hugged back. "I will miss you too little brother. I love you, be sure to let my dear Flanzgo and all of my friends to know the same."
Me: *sniffs* Where are those Kleenex?!
"I will, I promise."
Onzgo grasped his brother’s hand with both of his. "Take care of them Gonzo," he said quickly before darting off.
A tear slipped from Gonzo’s eye down his long nose and hit the floor. "Goodbye," he said to his brother quietly and gathered his friends. "We have to get out of here, and fast," he told all eleven of the people who gathered around him looking for guidance.
"But how?" Robin asked. "We’re stuck here!"
Me: Oh! Innocent little Robin!
"Yeah we don’t even have a spaceship!" Rizzo said.
Gonzo looked around, "We need to find a place where we can contact Des Filmer, he said he’d bring a ship when we needed him!"
Me: Good thinking. It’s almost as good as the writing...
"Well dis es a good idea, hokay?" Pepe said. "But how are we going to find a transmissions room?"
"Maybe he could help us," Kermit pointed towards Xaldin who was propped up against a wall, nursing his wounds.
Me: Oh Kermie! Always willing to cooperate with anyone!
Gonzo: *wakes back up* IT’S KERMIT!!
"Kermit, are you crazy?" Fozzie asked. "He’s the bad guy!" the bear whispered.
Gonzo took one last look around the throne room. "It looks like we don’t have any other choice! C’mon!" the weirdo ran off with all of the other Muppets following behind him.
Gonzo: What’d I miss?
Me: The chapter.
Flanzgo stood with her eyes glued on her father’s attempt to distract Exod as his prisoners escaped.
"Flanzgo we have to go!" Zongo told her.
"I...I can’t...I won’t...I won’t leave my father."
"It’s what your father wants princess," Zongo tried to tell her.
Me: Oh I love this scene...It was one of the first I envisioned.
Flanzgo’s knees buckled, she fell at Zongo’s feet. Zongo kneeled down and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You must princess. It is your royal duty."
He took the alien by the hand and pulled her along with him towards Xaldin and the rest of the gang. Flanzgo cried, Zongo’s eyes began to mist and Onzgo prepared to die.
Me: Gonzo give me those dang Kleenexes!!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Death returned to the Muppet Theater with Xander’s motionless body in his arms. He lay the alien’s body down on the ragged couch inside Uncle Deadly’s quarters.
Uncle Deadly walked up behind Death slowly. "What...What has happened to him?"
Death stood up straight. "HIS BROTHER. HE HAS FINALLY BEEN FREED FROM HIS BROTHER."
Me: *nods* That’s right Death.
Uncle Deadly placed his hand on the alien’s chest. "But he’s..."
Death nodded. "HE HAS DIED. AND THAT IS THE ONLY WAY HE COULD BE FREE."
Uncle Deadly sighed. "What will we be doing with him?"
"I HAVE NOT DECIDED YET." Death declared. "BUT ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN, EXOD WILL NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH XANDER’S SOUL EVER AGAIN."
"And Exod is his brother...?" Deadly asked.
Me: Duh, where have YOU been...
"YES, AND THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ENDANGERING THE LIVES OF YOUR FRIENDS."
Deadly nodded. "Than perhaps it really is best for this one to stay away."
Death had a sudden thought. "PERHAPS NOT," he said. "PERHAPS HE DOES HAVE A USE BACK ON HIS PLANET OF EXODIA. BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"We interrupt this fan-fiction for a Muppet Newsflash!" the Muppet Newsman said from behind his desk. "Our studio has just been informed that the tour bus carrying the Senior Citizen Penguin vacation club has crashed on a beach near San Francisco, California! One can only wonder how those poor penguins; who are used to such chilled environments; are handling the hot summer day."
Gonzo: WHAT?! You interrupted THAT for THIS?!
Suddenly, a group of penguins fell from above the Newsman’s head. "Whack quack quack whack!" the penguins quacked around the newsroom.
Me: This is one of my favorite parts of the story...
"What is going on here?" the Newsman asked.
A penguin ran up with a cue card in his hands and held it up in front of him, it read, "DANCE."
Me: HAHA! ZANY!!
Gonzo: You’re not kidding...
"This is no dance hall! This is a newsroom!" the Newsman said.
The penguin held up another cue card from his stack that read, "AWW."
"Don’t try that sympathy with me Zany! This is no time for cue cards!"
"SIGH" the next cue card Zany held up read.
Me: Hehehe! I love that penguin!
Gonzo: I’m sure Hilda will be happy to hear that...
"Will you please knock it off you insane penguin! The heart rates of the readers are dropping rapidly!" the Newsman shouted. "Oh no!" he shouted, looking up as crates of heart shaped chocolate that fell from above, burying him underneath.
Me: I LOVE it!!
Zany held up another cue card that read, "AHH." He looked down at it and shook his head, he shifted through his pile of cards and found a different one, he held up his last cue card reading "LAUGH." Zany and all of the other penguins continued to dance around the studio and laugh.
The Muppet Newsman poked his bedraggled head from beneath the candy. "Ugh...We now return you to our regularly scheduled fan-fiction..."
Me: Nope, now we return to our regularly scheduled dorm room.
Gonzo: WHAT?! You can’t leave me there!!
Me: You sound just like the other readers...
<Sings> These are a few of my favorite things:
No, no you're not sorry... NOt at all...
Don't'cha hate it when that happens?
Heh, yeah, I seem to recall getting mad at you over this chapter...
I know the feeling. *innocent*
I bet you do...
Separate names with a comma.