Oliver! - The Musical (In Muppet Style)

Vincent L

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I love thunder, for some reason. I often lean by my windowsill watching the lightning flash and the thunder go Ka-BOOM. One time, lightning struck somewhere extremely close and cut of our telephone service.
 

MissMusical12

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I love thunder, for some reason. I often lean by my windowsill watching the lightning flash and the thunder go Ka-BOOM. One time, lightning struck somewhere extremely close and cut of our telephone service.
I love thunder, too. I always put on songs from Rocky Horror Picture Show to enjoy it even better.
 

Beauregard

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This thread is the reason I've been wondering around town all morning humming, "Who will buy my sweet red roses, two blooms for a penny." "RIIIIPE STRAWBERRIES, RIIIIPE!"
 

Vincent L

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Did people call you insane? If not, please tell me where you live because I WANT TO LIVE THERE!!
 

Dominicboo1

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This thread is the reason I've been wondering around town all morning humming, "Who will buy my sweet red roses, two blooms for a penny." "RIIIIPE STRAWBERRIES, RIIIIPE!"[/quote

Any milk today mistress!
 

Twisted Tails

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This thread is the reason I've been wondering around town all morning humming, "Who will buy my sweet red roses, two blooms for a penny." "RIIIIPE STRAWBERRIES, RIIIIPE!"
Yes, Beau! I heard that song before. My mom sings that song sometimes, since she loves that musical. I finally saw the whole movie onYouTube today and I am like, "Oh my gosh! This is my movie! All right, I will dedicate this fanfic to you too. Will I include Beau, the janitor? Well, I will think about where to put him. He is either in the company or a character in Oliver.
 

Twisted Tails

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[quote="Dominicboo1, post: 919507, member: 40011" Any milk today mistress! ][/quote]

All my mom knows is "Who will buy my sweet red roses? Two blooms for a penny."

Hey! I didn't know you know the lyric, "any milk mistress today." Wow! Everyone at MC makes my day. Wow! So, I can't wait to start it right after I read Oliver Twist or at least figure out what I can come up with. BTW: I will remind one more time that Kermit and the OC will be narrating the story plus exactly they are the main guys to keep up with the story.
 

Twisted Tails

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All right here we go and on with the story!

Chapter 1 - Oliver!

Is this the same Charles Dickens that did A Christmas Carol? The one Dickens from London, right? Oh! Hi Ho! Kermit the Frog here! I am right now at the entrance of a workhouse where Oliver was born, but eventually his mother died when the little boy was born. I also have Megan standing next to me, and she is a Muppet and a Charles Dickens fan.

"Thank you Kermit!" Megan smiled. "I am not a fan of Charles Dickens much, but I loved this story even though it has some dark scenes, but otherwise, it is going to be so much fun filled with songs and great characters. Don't forget I am narrating this story too. London is filled with many people with British accents."

Do you know um... the characters like: Fagin, Dodger, Nancy, Bill Sykes, Mr. Bumble and the Sowerberries.

"Ah, yes, those characters and we were talking about the story of Oliver Twist."

Well...um, yeah. This story starts in the beginning where Oliver worked at a workhouse. Do you know what happened next, Megan? I really don't know and some of this script I am reading is not right.

"I think it was Fozzie who misnamed and spelled incorrectly and it says, "Olly" not Oliver."

FOZZIE!

"Uh, yes Kermit!" Fozzie said, as he felt so embarrassed.
The script was going to say, "Oliver" not "Olly."

"Oh I feel so terrible. My writing is bad. Ohh!" Fozzie said, feeling miserable and walking away.

"Don't worry Kermit. I got a script with no mistakes. See here, it does say, "Oliver Twist" and I think you need an extra copy of the "correct" script."

Scooter!

"Yeah, boss?" Scooter said, entering in.

Can you make a copy of the script that is not incorrect?

"Yeah, chief!" Scooter said, with a grin. Megan then handed him the "correct" script and then the kid said, "Thank you, Megan! I will have it done in a few minutes! Then, he exits.

Thanks, Scooter! (Clears throat!) Where was I? Wait a minute! Um...Megan can you tell you the story?

"Sure," Megan said smiling. "Oliver worked in the workhouse with the other boys that had no parents, not even a father. When the bell rings, the boys are ushered to a hall where there are fed by gruel. What they really are wishing is for real food to keep their strengths up, but only the staff members were allowed to have real food.”

Boys (Frogs & Young Males (humans):
Is it worth the waiting for?
If we live 'til eighty-four,
All we ever get is gru...el!
Ev'ry day we say our prayer --
Will they change the bill of fare?
Still we get the same old gru...el!
There is not a crust, not a crumb can we find,
Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge,
But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill
When we all close our eyes and imag...ine
Food, glorious food!
Hot sausage and mustard!
While we're in the mood --
Cold jelly and custard!
Pease pudding and saveloys!
"What's next?" is the question.
Rich gentlemen have it, boys --
In-di-gestion! Food, glorious food!
We're anxious to try it.
Three banquets a day --
Our favourite diet!

Just picture a great big steak --
Fried, roasted or stewed.
Oh, food,
Wonderful food,
Marvellous food,
Glorious food.

Food, glorious food!
What is there more handsome?
Gulped, swallowed or chewed --
Still worth a kin's ransom.
What is it we dream about?
What brings on a sigh?
Piled peaches and cream, about
six feet high! Food, glorious food!
Eat right through the menu.
Just loosen your belt
Two inches and then you
Work up a new appetite.
In this interlude --
Then food
once again, food
fabulous food
Glorious foodFood, glorious food!
Don't care what it looks like --
Burned!
Underdone!
Crude!
Don't care what the cook's like.

Oliver (Robin):
Just thinking of growing fat --

Boys:
Our senses go reeling
one moment of knowing that
Full-up feeling! Food, glorious food!
What wouldn't we give for
That extra bit more --
That's all that we live for
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood
On food,
Magical food,
Wonderful food,
Marvellous food,
Fabulous food,
Oliver:
Beautiful food,

Boys:
Glorious food.

“As I was saying,” Megan started, after the song ended. "Mr. Bumble was a “beadle of the parish” and a tall leader to keep order of the workhouse for the board even the boys.”

Mr. Bumble (Mr. Johnson):
For what you are about to receive
May the Lord makes you truly thankful.

Boys:
Amen!

“Once the boys were down with the gruel, the boys played a silent game and one of them had pieces of what looked liked grain. The one with the smallest one was a loser and shall be asked for more. Wait a minute! Kermit?”

Yes, Megan!

“It looks like were inside the workhouse right now. Oh, never mind! I will continue with this story. Anyway, Oliver got the smallest grain and the task went to him and he walked slowly, trembling, to Mr. Bumble and Widow Corney. Here is what he said.”

Oliver:
(spoken) Please, Sir, I want some more.

Mr. Bumble:
(spoken) What?

Oliver:
(Spoken) Please, Sir, I want some... more.

Mr. Bumble:
(spoken) More?

“Oliver, at that moment, drops the bowl, and runs as much as his feet (flippers) could take it.

Widow Corney (Mildred):
Catch him!

Mr. Bumble:
Snatch him!

Widow Corney:
Hold him!

Mr. Bumble:
Scold him!

Widow Corney:
Pounce him!
Trounce him!
Pick him up and bounce him!

“The boys are about to grab him and punch when all of a sudden,”

Mr. Bumble:
Wait!
Before we put the lad to task
May I be so curious as to ask
His name?

Boys (out loud) (spoken):
O-li-ver.

Widow Corney & Mr. Bumble:
Oliver! Oliver!

Mr. Bumble:
Never before has a boy wanted more!

Mr. Bumble & Widow Corney:
Oliver! Oliver!

Widow Corney:
Won’t ask for more when he knows what's in store.

Mr. Bumble:
There is a dark, thin, winding stairway
Without any bannister
Which we'll throw him down, and feed him on
Cockroaches served in a canister

All:
Oliver! Oliver!

Mr. Bumble:
what will he do when he's turned black and blue?
He will curse the day
somebody named him

All:
O-li-ver!

Mr. Bumble:
Oliver! Oliver!
Never before has a boy wanted more!
Oliver! Oliver!

Widow Corney:
won’t ask for more
when he knows what's in store.

Mr. Bumble:
There’s a sooty chimney
long overdue for a sweeping out
which we'll push him up,
and one day next year with the rats he'll be creeping out.

All:
Oliver! Oliver!

Mr. Bumble:
what will he do?
In this terrible stew
He will rue the day somebody named him...

All & Widow Corney
O-li-ver!

Governors:
Oliver!
Oliver!
Never before has a boy asked for more
Oliver!
Oliver!

Chairman (Sam the Eagle):
Pray some decorum restore, I implore...
Let us face this case; it's
Unprecedented, quite utterly.

Governors:
He's disgraced this place.

Large Governor (Newsman, I think):
And encouraging others to swallow in gluttony.

All:
Oliver! Oliver!
Lock him in goal
and then put him on sale,
for the highest bid
Glad to be rid
Of
O-li-ver!

Widow Corney:
(spoken) Lock him up! Collect his belongings then bring him back to me when you've done. To bed, all of you!

“So, they traded Oliver to a mean chimney sweeper, but it didn’t work out very well. So, Mr. Bumble makes a tough decision with his Widow Corney that the boy must be sold either three pounds or seven guineas. Corney knows that she will start to scream if the “troubling” Oliver stays at the workhouse any longer to cause more damage than he has already done.

Widow Corney:
(spoken) you're a cruel man, and a hardhearted man besides.

Mr. Bumble:
(spoken) Hardhearted, Mrs. Corney? Hard? Are you hardhearted, Mrs. Corney?

Widow Corney:
(spoken) Dear me! What a curious question coming from a single man.
What can you want to know
for, Mr. Bumble? Mr. Bumble, I shall scream!

Mr. Bumble:
No you wouldn't, heigh ho.
If I wanted something special,
Then you couldn't say "no".
Did I nearly catch you smiling?
Yes I did. And it's beguiling.
If you hand is close, I'll press it.
Yes, you like it -- come confess it!
Yes, you do...

Widow Corney
No, I don't.

Mr. Bumble:
Yes, you do!

Widow Corney:
I shall scream! I shall scream!
'Til they hasten to my rescue, I shall scream.

Mr. Bumble:
since there's nobody that's near us
who cold see us. Or could hear us?
If you ask you can I kiss you
Say what will my pretty miss do?

Widow Corney:
I shall scream, scream, scream!

Mr. Bumble:
If I pinch you one pinch --
From you shy protective shell
can I un-inch you one inch?
Will my blinthesome, buxum beauty
Let her suitor do his duty?
Tho' his lap ain't very large, dear
Sit upon it -- There's no charge, dear.
Will you sit?

Widow Corney:
No, I shan't

Mr. Bumble:
Will you sit?

Widow Corney:
I shall scream! I shall scream!
For the safety of my virtue I shall scream
tho' your knee is rather cosy,
See my cheeks are getting rosy.
You would have me in your power.
If I sat here for an hour...

Mr. Bumble:
I shall scream, scream, scream!

Widow Corney:
you're a naughty bad man.
If you think I can't be proper,
Prim and haughty -- I can
and you'll pardon if I mention
you must state your true intention.

Mr. Bumble:
is there not another room here?

Widow Corney:
No!

Mr. Bumble:
if there would be a bride and groom here --- would there be?

Widow Corney:
Well there might.

Mr. Bumble:
we shall see.

Widow Corney:
I shall scream! I shall scream!
At the thought of what you're thinking, I shall scream!

Mr. Bumble:
you will wonder where the scream went
When we come to an agreement
as my lovey-dovey is chubby
could she love a chubby hubby?

Widow Corney:
I shall scream, Mr. Bumble!
I shall scream, Bumble-Wumble!
I shall scream, scream, scream!

“Okay, I will take a break now, but you author come up with more story. I’m sorry! I was just kidding! I didn’t mean to so rude. Ahem! Coming up next, the Sowerberries Ohhhh! Miss Piggy might appear ‘cause she may not be happy with one role. Gobo could appear sometime and finally…Oliver gets to London. For now, I will get myself good old bedtime. (Yawns)! Zzzzzzzzz! Zzzzzzz!

Megan? Wow! Well, folks, it looks like we will get back to the story. Oh boy! She’s right! It’s getting late! Well, goodnight!

End of Chapter 1

So, what does everyone think?

Soory about the font sizes, though.
 
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