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The Cheapest Muppet Central Forum Awards of All-Time!

Discussion in 'Feedback' started by theprawncracker, Feb 28, 2010.

  1. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and frogs and dogs and rats and pigs and chickens. And... penguins, bears, Grouches, Fraggles, monsters, and whatevers too! Welcome to The Sixth Somewhat-Annual Muppet Central Forum Awards Ceremony!

    Now, I know most of you who have attended one of these awards ceremonies before are used to extravagance, special guest stars, and an all-around good time. Unfortunately, we won't be having any of that tonight. Due to massive budget cuts from the studio, we weren't allocated nearly as much funding as we usually are. But the studio didn't tell us this until after we had blown our entire budget securing copyright legalities for the longest award show title name in history. Which, as you can see, is why I'm doing the awards in my pajamas this year instead of my usual tuxedo.

    Fret not, however! For we're still bound and determined to present you, the adoring public, with a show. We still have awards designed by the one and only Dave Hulteen, Jr. (our own Vic Romano). Thank goodness he's a starving artist and we already hired the caterer... We've also managed to wrangle one special guest star to present our final award of the evening: The Muppet Central Forum Lifetime Achievement Award! (It's here where we would usually have "Oohs" and "Ahhs" but we couldn't afford the sound machine.)

    But getting to the good stuff... the first award of the evening would normally be presented by a Muppet, but they no longer work cheap now that they're apparently "big stars" in the Mouse House. So here live and in-person to present our first award is the one and only... ME! YAAAAAY!

    Thank you, thank you! Oh, you're too kind. Way, WAY too kind...

    *ahem* Anyhow! The first award of tonight's show is the coveted Funniest Forum Member of 2009. Yes, we have many, many funny people on Muppet Central. Many of them in 2009. (We couldn't afford to hire joke writers.) Here are the top five funniest members of 2009 based on your votes!

    theprawncracker
    dwmckim
    Beauregard
    WhiteRabbit
    ZeppoAndFriends

    Huh. I got nominated? Well you know we couldn't have paid off the voters since we don't have any money. How do I know the winner? They didn't even give me an envelope? Oh! Right. I wrote it on my arm. And the winner is...

    BEAUREGARD

    This is Beauregard's first win of the evening. He is nominated in 47 other categories. This is Beauregard's fifth MC Award in the Funniest Member category (seriously!). The only person to ever beat him was theprawncracker last year. (And he rubs it in constantly.)
  2. Oscarfan

    Oscarfan Well-Known Member

    *takes seat*

    Now, what do I do with it?
  3. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    *sitting on a small cardboard box at a larger cardboard box topped with a table cloth with a bottle of $ .49 champagne* What! Oh! What! Oh! WHAT!...*box collapses* OW!...*ahem* *collects self off the floor and totters towards the stage to collect award wearing what can only be described as a desperate cry for attention, a six-foot high wig and the rest of my body covered in a few choicely placed doilies and bits of lace (much like that worn by Lady Gaga to the Brits)*

    Hmm...Guess you couldn't afford to get steps from the audience to the stage, huh? It's okay. I can stand down here. Gosh, it's rather chilly though. Okay.

    Thank you SO much to everyone who voted for me this year. 2009 was a weird year for me, personally, but turned out to be a GREAT year for the Muppets! It's so much fun to be involved with MC during these exciting times and I'm glad to have, at some stage (not this stage, obviously, because we have no steps) but at some stage to have entertained you all. Thanks so much! I love you all!

    *totters away from the stage to find a robe*
  4. PurpleHonker

    PurpleHonker New Member

    I made it! *exclaimed as she tries to sneak inconspicuously to her seat*
  5. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    <comes in and sits on a cardboard box next to the stage> <box breaks> <...sits on the floor> Oh, for goodness SAKE, Beau! <shields eyes> There have GOT to be laws against that...
  6. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    ...For the record, the Muppet Central Forum Awards do not in anyway condone... whatever THAT was that Mr. Beauregard just did. Wait... we're not officially sponsored by Phillip Chapman, so who cares? We condone whatever THAT was, whatever YOU are, and... well, whatever I am.

    Hey! Oscarfan, don't take the seats! We have to pay for whatever we break. Unfortunately most of us are already cracked so the bills are rising.

    Anyway, here I am again to reluctantly present the second award. This is the long sought after and often indignant Most Prominent Member award. This award goes to the member that you think was most often spotted through the Muppet Central Forum in 2009. (Most likely because said member was on the run from the feds.)

    But enough about me... the top five Most Prominent Members of 2009 as chosen by your votes are...

    Drtooth
    frogboy4
    minor muppetz
    D'Snowth
    The Count

    And the winner, written between two freckles on my arm, is...

    DRTOOTH

    This is Drtooth's first win for Most Prominent Member--and probably the first time he won for being prominent in 2009, but we can't be sure. Drtooth has been a member since... well, at least since 2009.
  7. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    *returns to cardboard seat*

    *claps*

    *collapse*
  8. Gelfling Girl

    Gelfling Girl Active Member

    :D *claps for Beau and DrTooth* :D
  9. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Written... between two freckles?

    ...Waaaaaait a second. If the winners are written on your ARM, how do you know you're reading the right winner for the right award?

    And how do we know you wrote stuff on your arm based on the votes, and not your own whims?

    HOW do we know you didn't just choose the winners at random out of a HAT?

    ...Oh. You can't afford a hat.
  10. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Oh! Good! A heckler. We couldn't afford to hire any, so thank you for compensating for us.

    Onto the third award! The Most Underrated Member award. These are members who aren't hard to find, but are also somewhat new to the forums. These members provide quality posts without flash and pizazz or desired recognition. So now to give them some much-needed recognition and suddenly make them less underrated, thus making this the most oxymoronic award of the show, here are your top five Most Underrated Members of 2009:

    unclematt
    Luke
    ZeppoAndFriends
    Oscarfan
    APRena

    And the winner, who was NOT chosen out of a hat (it was a very well-crafted urn, thank you) is...

    APRENA

    This APRena's first Muppet Central Forum Award. She has only been a member since September 2009, but already she's making waves throughout the forum. Now we have to buy a mop to clean up the water from said waves...
  11. Gelfling Girl

    Gelfling Girl Active Member

    w00t! Congrats, Rena! :D:excited::zany:
  12. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Uh-huh. And WHERE are you going to get the money for a mop when you're off buying well-crafted urns? Y'see, THIS is the kind of "money sense (cents?)" that got us INTO this recession...

    Therefore, Prawnie, I blame you for the fact that I don't have a job.
  13. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    *cardboard seat just dampened by said waves*...Nice...*pours a glass of bubbly for Toga* I do hope everyone behind us can see around my wig...You don't have a job? Well, you could always start mopping...
  14. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    No, I can't start mopping. There's no mop, remember? They blew the cash on an urn. My roommate and I DO have a mop... But we have no bucket.
  15. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Can't you just use the urn? Or my wig? Is it pinned on properly? I can feel it slipping. By the way, if that water gets to the doilies I'm going to need a costume change...
  16. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    You call that a costume? I call that a napkin. Yes, A napkin. Sheesh... put some CLOTHES on, Beau.
  17. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (sits on the floor with Bear and Sarah because she couldn't afford daycare yet): Sheesh. Is it just me, or is it earlier than last year?

    Rizzo (frowning): All dey got is stale crackahs an' popcorn. *eats anyway*

    Turbo (offers a quick podium made out of Doozer sticks, has it built, sits back down warily near Bear and Sarah, who want to lick him)
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Ooh! Wonderful! Now we can have a new slogan, "The Muppet Central Forum Awards: Responsible for Unemployment since 2010." Remember, all complaints can be filtered to Phillip Chapman.

    Moving right along... Time now for four! Award number four, that is. The Most Creative Current Signature. Signatures are the wonderful little humorous quips (or shameless links) at the end of every post you make (so please click my shameless link). The top five Most Creative Current Signatures of 2009 are...

    Winslow Leach - "My uncle's dying wish: he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair - Rodney Dangerfield"
    APRena - "
    This space intentionally left blank!
    (Oh.... now it's not. Nevermind.)"
    Oscarfan -
    "Don't eat my art! It looses it's value!"
    Beauregard - "Do Muppet builders count their chickens before they're stitched?"
    Krazedmuppet - "My hearts as full as a baked potato, I think I know precisely what I mean, When I say it's a shpadoinkle day!"

    And the winner, whose autograph I'd love to have on my arm, is...

    WINSLOW LEACH

    This is Winslow Leach's signature award. (Get it?) It is widely speculated that he really is Rodney Dangerfield and the rest of us are crazy.
  19. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (haughtily): I'll have you know I'm no longer unemployed, thank you very much. *sticks out tongue*

    Rizzo (sees Winslow's award): Y'know, my bruddah's uncle's cousin said da exact same t'ing once -- but it was one o' dose electrified Skinnah boxes.
  20. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Why would you want someone's autograph on your arm? It would wash off--wait a second.

    ...PRAWNIE! You are NOT allowed to take ANY bathroom breaks for the LENGTH of the CEREMONY!


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