Hensonville City 2011

Gillis: You're watching television...with the sound off...while listening to MCR?
Kim: It's called "multi-tasking", Maestro. Besides, I think I'm falling out of love with "Elementary".
Gillis: But it's Sherlock Holmes! I thought you loved Sherlock Holmes!
Kim: I do. I just don't think I'm that fond of this incarnation.
Boober: And it has nothing to do with the fact that you prefer that Benedict Cumberbatch over Johnny Lee Miller.
Kim: Of course not. [looks up at TV] Oh, like that's not blatant advertising...
Gillis: What is?
Kim: That tablet with Windows 8 on it. With the snap-on keyboard? The one Microsoft has been hawking for the last few weeks? You can't tell me it's coincidence that Holmes suddenly has one of those things.
Boober: I thought I was supposed to be the cynic in this apartment.

Sam: I must say...Christmas is my favorite time of the year.

Blind Pew: Zyou don't zay! Well, my favorite eez--

Sam: I don't want to know.

Blind Pew: Mais--

Sam: No.

Ailie: CHANUKAH STARTS TOMORROW!

Blind Pew: Quoi?

Sam: Fascinating.

Ailie: Old man, wake up! We need to celebrate early!
-grabs Zoot by his feet, dragging him off the couch-

Zoot: Zzzz...pudding...

Ailie: Come on! It's gonna be fun!

Zoot: Whuh--? Fun?

Sam: -shudders- I hate to imagine what your definition of that word is...

Ailie: BY THE WAY, IT'S TONY'S BIRTHDAY! EVERYBODY PARTY!

Sam: I don't think so!

Ailie: I SAID--

Spamela: -delivers a remote control helicopter and a life-size Mr. Peanut doll to Tony's room-

facepalm I've done it again! Rosita...I'm SO sorry!

Rosita hugs me Kathy take it easy chica! You've had a lot going on lately! I understand. Really...it's fine! I promise you I'm not mad! next week we'll do lunch for sure all right?
Thanks for understanding. And yes. Next week is lunch for us!

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Rhonda: This place is ALL about the birthdays, I tellya. And do any of them ever consider those of us who need to watch our waistlines? Huh? Do they??

Er...is something unusual going to happen to it?

Rhonda: *whiskers twitch in exasperation* Nevermind! Now come on, help me...ungh...carry this down to Tony...arrrrgh!

What the hey IS it?

Rhonda: Do NOT tell me you've never seen the commercials for these!

As if I bother with crass advertisements! PBS only has sponsors, not commercials...

Rhonda: Whatever. Those ads keep YOU on the air, ya know. So read the box, genius. And heave ho!

*puzzled, helps Rhonda lift the box; as soon as he has it off the floor she lets go to daub her brow with a hankie and catch her breath* Ugh...ungh...what the hey... *he reads the side of the box* Uh..."Marvelous Morty's Extreme Seedy Makeover: Home Edition"?

Rhonda: Right up his alley. And I do mean alley. Now tote that bale!
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singing O Holy Night along to the music of Mannheim Steamroller but sounding like a choked chicken when it comes to the high notes. Ugh.


Chef: Er...uh....



Yeah..I know..it was bad. Don't quit my day job,right?
Chef:Nu...I didnt say thet. Yu heve a purty voice.But I think those notes were tu high fur yu to hit. I hurd yu culd hurt yur voice if yu strain it like thet.
You have a point there .
Chef: Ja..rite on der noggin! pointing to the top of his head
It was a figure of speech, you knucklehead!

Chef: I know thet! It's nice tu see the old Kethy bak. Last yeer we were all SO worreed about yu. Yu were SO sad last yeer .Und yu hed a rite tu be with yur antee and best frend dying. I didn't wunt tu say anything in frunt uv Robin but I wuz afrade thet you'd take yore own life!












Oh Chef! hugging him Things really were a mess last year. But I had to think of others besides myself. And if I did anything to myself I'm sure there would have been a line at Heaven to kick me back rear end first .Besides. My friend and my aunt and friend are happy in Heaven now.
Silent Night comes on

Oooohhh....OokieCays!
Robin: Huh?
whispering "Cookies" in Pig Latin
Robin nods in understanding

Chef takes the you know whats off the table Aftur dinnur yu kids.

in little girl voice Yes Mr. Cheffie Sir.

(FYI, I'm listening to Red & Green Christmas. It's almost over.)

Green & Red..... Red & Green......Tomato, TomAhto same thing.
And yes I did get to Christmas Smorgasbord. I still have the old album. In fact was singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" as I was typing before. Is "When The River Meets The Sea" the only difference between the old CD & the new one?

Ailie: Hey Sam!

Sam: No.

Ailie: ...I didn't even ask the question yet.

Sam: It doesn't matter, the answer is still no!

Ailie: What if it wasn't a yes or no question?

Sam: -glares-

Ailie: Okay...

Spamela: Saaaam, you're standing under the mistletoe!

Sam What?! Oh, of all the... -steps aside quickly-

Zoot: -lights the sixth candle on the menorah and nonchalantly takes Sam's place-

Spamela: Oh hi Zoot!
-skips away-

Zoot: ...

Sam: Subtle.

sigh I wonder if it's too late to learn how to homeschool Robin.
Prairie: Kath...I hate to say it...but I think it is.

I don't want to send him to school on Monday.
Rosita : Robin'll be safe. Hector told you that.Don't you trust him?
Of course. But every time I watch the news and hear about that horrific story that happened in Connecticut.....shudder..... Plus I was SO grateful it didn't happen in New York where my family is!
Grover: Kathy..you are going to make yourself sick! Please try to take it easy, all right? I know that you are worried about Robin. But Hector said that the school will be secured. All of the teachers had emergency training today .So please try and relax.
nodding Okay. It's just that I love Robin so much . And...well you guys know me. I'm a general worrywart.
Prairie:Well like Grover said ...when you worry you get sick.You don't want that. I'm sure Hector will let you know what's going on and that Robin will be safe.
True.

Hector coming in and hugging me How are you doing and what's with the worried look?
I'm scared that Hensonville School will be attacked like the school in Connecticut was.
Hector: Do you know that you worry too much? Why do you think I've been at an after hours school meeting on Friday and an all day meeting yesterday? We are taking the greatest precautions so that ALL the schools in Hensonville will be protected. There were new safety rules instated and other stuff I can't discuss.
You can't?
Hector: No. in mysterious voice Otherwise I'd have to stick bamboo shoots under your fingernails and give you water torture! Then resuming normal voice .Seriously, code of ethics. But Robin and his other classmates will be getting a notice tomorrow .That's all I can tell you. Sorry. I want you to stop worrying all right? When you worry, you get sick!And Kath...tilting my chin up with his finger to look at him I don't want you getting sick over something you shouldn't. Are we understood? Robin will be in safe hands when he returns to school tomorrow.
OK.
Hector: That's my girl. kissing my forehead I know you're scared for Robin because of what happened last week. But right hand up to my abuelo *doing so* the school is safe. Now, may I see a smile please?

I smile and Hector says That's better! You know, my mother tells me that I've picked a winner! My sisters think so too! My brother says FINALLY! My father says that you're a charming young lady. And...oh you'll laugh at this...my 7 year old niece wants to know when we're getting married! Marisol nearly hit the roof when Tina asked that! I think I nearly turned 30 different shades of red! Kids! Gotta love them!

Well thankfully the 10 year old frog hasn't hinted about "Mom when are you and Hector gettin' married?" I think he enjoys things as they are. The Scandanavian chef nitwit nearly got hit in the head with a frying pan when he asked joking around if he could make our wedding cake. Even if we WERE getting married I wouldn't let him make a wedding cake for us.
Hector: Didn't he try to put onions in a wedding cake once? Something about onions being good for the sinuses?

You got it! Let's just enjoy a regular relationship for a while.
Hector: Sounds fine to me! By the way, I'm starving. Let's go eat!

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Blue: Erp. Mm. Cow. *does a weird jiggy dance to celebrate his hat*
Pink: AaaaWWWww. Cow. Yip. Yip yip. *regards his hat* Cow...blink?
*he touches it with a tentacle and the festive blinky lights come on*
*both gulp their lower lips over their heads, shivering*
Pink: Aww! Aww! Cow blink! Cow blink! Un-uh! un-uh!

Uhm. You guys. Those are just Christmas lights.

Blue: Unh?
Pink: Aww?
*slowly they uncurl and stare at the blinky lights*
Blue: Cow...pretty.

Yes. The cow is pretty. You both have pretty cows. Will you get the heck out of the mixing bowl now?
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Down in Apt 6...

Lily: [knocking on the door to Kim's bedroom] Kim?
Kim: [opens the door] Lils? What're you doing up, kiddo?
Lily: I don't feel good. [coughs feebly] I don't think I can go to school tomorrow.
Kim: I see. [feels Lily's forehead] Well, you don't seem to have a fever.
Lily: Are you sure? Maybe you should feel again.
Kim: [chuckles] I'm sure. Now, do you want to tell me the real reason you want to stay home tomorrow, or are you going to stick with your story?
Lily: I-I'm scared. What if something like what happened in Connecticut happens here? What if someone gets into the school an- and tries to hurt us? What if--
Kim: Whoa, whoa; slow down! Is that what's been bothering you?
Lily: Yeah...
Kim: Oh, sweetie... [sits down on her bed and pulls Lily into her lap] Unfortunately I can't promise that nothing bad will happen at your school. But, what I can promise is that if something does happen all of your teachers, your principal and everyone else who works there will do everything in their power to keep you and your friends safe. And you know that if you're ever feeling scared you can come and talk to me or Gillis, your folks, your counselor at school...I can even take you to talk to Pastor Tracy if you want me to.
Lily: Promise?
Kim: Cross my heart. Feel better now?
Lily: A little. [smiles a little]
Kim: Good. Now, let's get you off to bed.
Lily: Can I listen to an Odyssey episode before I go to sleep?
Kim: I don't see why not. C'mon, let's go pick one out.