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Hilary Duff takes over Sesame Street

Discussion in 'Classic Sesame Street' started by ssetta, Feb 26, 2004.

  1. ssetta

    ssetta Active Member

    I just thought of a good idea for an episode, or maybe not such a great idea. It's an episode where Hilary Duff, you know, the famous teen actress/singer, visits Sesame Street, and tries to take over the whole show. It's set up like an old-style Sesame episode. Here's how it goes:

    (Open to the first street scene, right in front of 123 Sesame Street. The harmonica opening intro plays for a few seconds, then fades out. Hilary Duff walks on.)

    Hilary: Hey, I'm Hilary Duff, what's up, y'all? I'm gonna be taking over the show, and I will be performing some of my favorite songs from my current album Metamorphasis. In fact, I'd like to perform one right now. "So Yesterday." (We go into the play yard, her band is already set up, she stands behind a microphone. The band plays the opening intro, and then she starts singing.) After the song is over, the camera zooms into Ernie's apartment. We then see :p crying because he doesn't think it's fair that Hilary's famous, and taking over Sesame Street! He wants it to be the way it was before she rised to fame and took over!

    Ernie: Ohhhhhh, Bert!!! Why does she get to do that and everything?? She's younger than me!!
    Bert: Oh, come on Ernie, the world must go on.
    Ernie: I wish I could be like her!!!!!! It's not fair!
    Bert: (groans, then walks off stage)

    Ernie: Hey, I know what I'll do! She just got done performing her song, "So Yesterday", right???! I'm gonna go speak to her and tell her how upset I am, and that I liked Sesame Street before she was famous, and took over the whole show!! And that kids like HER now, instead of SS!!! Oh, it's not fair!!!!!!!!

    (Hilary walks into Ernie's apartment without permission)

    Hilary: I love performing. It's really fun. I know it's too much for me at such a young age...
    Ernie: Hilary!!!!!!!! (cries, then hugs her)
    Hilary: Um, not now. This is my show.
    Ernie: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hilary: ...but it's really fun. There's another song that I always like to per....
    Ernie: All I want is to be famous like you!! How come you get to be famous???
    Hilary: Shh, I'm talking...Another song that I always like to perform is called "Come Clean."
    Ernie: That song makes me cry!!!!!!!!!!!! No, Hilary!! Don't do it!!!!!!!!!

    (She then goes back into the play yard and performs "Come Clean" with her band. We then go to various inserts. When the inserts are over, we go to Oscar's trash can. We see Oscar in his can, and his Grouchketeers. They are about to start a Grouchketeer meeting.)
    Oscar: Okay, Grouchketeers! How can you tell a Grouchketeer?!
    Grouchketeers: He's the one with the thumb in his ear!!
    Oscar: Alright, that's the grouch spirit. Now, today, there's this disgustingly nice teen pop star Hilary Duff who is taking over Sesame Street. Now to get her off, we have to be really grouchy. Got that?
    Grouchketeers: Yeah!!!
    Oscar: Alright, so when you guys see her, yell whatever you can think of to make her scram! Heh-heh-heh!

    Hilary: (walks on, completely nice) Hello! I still like acting, but...
    Oscar and Grouchketeers: SCRAM!!!!!
    Hilary: Nevermint that...I like singing better in a way, because...
    Oscar and Grouchketeers: BEAT IT!!!!!!
    Hilary: Just ignore them...Because when you're acting, you're throwing your own character away, and...
    Oscar and Grouchketeers: GET LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hilary: (glances at them)...and I could be doing all sorts of different things. But when you're singing, it represe...
    Oscar and Grouchketeers: TAKE A HIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hilary: (completely ignores them)...When you have a singing career, it represents the real you better. I mean, I will never...
    Oscar: JUST GET OUTTA HERE, HUH????!!! THERE'S ALREADY ENOUGH NICE PEOPLE ON SESAME STREET!!!! WE DON'T NEED YET ANOTHER CUTE LITTLE TEEN POP STAR FACE HERE!!!!!!!
    Hilary: ...I will never give up acting, but I really like singing as well. Now I'd like to perform another favorite of mine, "Little Voice".
    Oscar: AHHHHHHHH! COVER YOUR EARS!! GET OUTTA HERE!!!!

    (we go back into the play yard, and she performs "Little Voice". When the song is over, we go to various inserts.)

    To be continued...
  2. Sir Didymus

    Sir Didymus New Member

    I hate Hillary Duff, and I hope she never visits Sesame Street. She is a chubby little phony, and she can't even sing. YUCK!

    Just my input.

    Didymus
  3. ssetta

    ssetta Active Member

    Well, I don't know about that. But that's only the first part! Here's the second:

    (Then, we go to an Alphabet Chat segment on Mr. Chatterly's set. We see the director, and Mr. Chatterly sitting in his chair, getting ready to do his show.)

    Director: Okay, are we ready?
    Mr. Chatterly: (very formerly) Yes, sir.
    Director: Okay, lights! (the lights dim) Camera!
    Cameraman: Alphabet Chat Letter Q, take 58!
    Director: Music!!

    (the Alphabet Chat theme plays, the camera is focused on the fire in the fireplace, then zooms over to Mr. Chatterly in his chair, smoking a pipe. He turns around. The theme ends.)
    Mr. Chatterly: Ah, yes. Welcome to another lovely episode of Alphabet Chat. Today's letter is the letter "Q". (a "Q" appears on screen) See? It's just like an "O", only it has that lovely little tail at the bottom. And now, lets think of some wonderful words starting with the letter "Q". Let's see, there's "queen," and, uh, "quarter", and...well, let's see, there's, uh...
    Hilary: (walks on) Oh, hi! Welcome back to the show! You know, I absolutely love to go surfing on the sea! It's really cool and really fun. Now how would you like to...
    Mr. Chatterly: Shh! (whispers) We're doing a television show.
    Hilary: Uhh, right, we are. Now where was I? Oh, yeah! I love surfing it's really fun. How would you like to come with me? I've got my...
    Mr. Chatterly: (sigh) No! Surfing doesn't start with "Q"! Let's see, some other "Q" words are "quick", "quack", and, uh...
    Hilary: Not now, this is my show. I have my surfboard all set up. How would you like to come with me and my friends on an exciting surfing adventure?
    Mr. Chatterly: QUIET!!!!!
    (2 second silence)
    Hilary: You would? Okay! Let's go! (she walks off)
    Mr. Chatterly: NO!!!!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! (Alphabet Chat closing theme starts) :cry: SHE CAN'T TAKE OVER MY SHOW CAN SHE??!! WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HER AND NOT ME?? IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! NO!!!!! (closing theme ends)
    Hilary: (walks on for a second) C'mon, guys, let's go!
    Mr. Chatterly: GET OUT OF HERE! (Hilary walks off)

    (We then see Hilary on her surfboard on the ocean with her friends. They're all having a great time, riding the waves and everything. Then, when they come into shore, we go to various inserts.)

    To be continued...
  4. mikealan

    mikealan New Member

    That was a great Alphabet Chat parody, Ssetta!
    I think they never did Q before! I think they did B, H, O, and R.
  5. Ryan

    Ryan New Member

    All I have to say about all of this is...
    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
  6. ssetta

    ssetta Active Member

    There's actually a 3rd part! Are you ready for it?? Here it is!!

    When the inserts are over, we see Little Jerry spotting an empty Telephone booth, and he's about to go in and use the phone to serenade the operator.)

    Little Jerry: Hey! That's a telephone booth!
    Hilary: (walks on) Great! A telephone booth! So now, I can call the operator and sing another favorite song of mine to her. Now, I think I'll perform...
    Jerry: Oh, no!! I was here first, so I get to use the phone!! Now if you don't mind, I would like to call the operator and tell her all about the "Telephone Rock."
    Jerry: You can't do that!!! That's my song!!!!
    Hilary: Sure, I can. (The intro to the classic song "Telephone Rock" starts, but it's like a modern remake, which is not nearly as good as the original. She puts money in the phone, calls the operator, and we hear her say "Number, please."
    Jerry: HEY, SISTER!! I NEED TO USE THE PHONE!!
    Hilary: Shh, quiet please, I'm on the phone.
    (She sings the whole song, and back up singers come in during the choruses. But unlike the original, the operator loves their singing. So she happens to find where the phone booth is, so she watches Hilary and her band perform the song live. Then, during the end of the song, Little Jerry walks back on.)
    Little Jerry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??! YOU STOLE ONE OF MY SONGS??!! HOW COULD YOU??!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO US!! WE'RE TOO GOOD!! WE'RE SUCH A GOOD GROUP!!! 30 YEARS AGO WHEN I CALLED THE OPERATOR AND SANG THAT SONG, SHE DIDN'T EVEN LIKE ME!! SHE HAD THE COPS ARREST ME!!! HOW COULD SHE LIKE HILARY AND NOT ME?? HUH??!!! AW, COME ON, HILARY, WHY DO YOU GET TO BE FAMOUS AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE??!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! (The song fades out, and we go to various inserts. After the inserts, we come to a News Flash with Kermit the Frog.)

    Voiceover: We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast-breaking news story.

    Kermit: Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here for Sesame Street News. Right next to me, we have the Hickory Dickory Dock clock. Now what's going to happen soon is, the mouse will come and run up the clock. And as you can see, it is nearly 1:00, so when the clock strikes 1, the mouse will run down, and the mouse should be coming in any minute now. Okay, send in the mouse!
    Hilary: (walks on) Oh, hi! How are you?
    Kermit: Wait a minute. You're not a mouse, you're Hilary Duff.
    Hilary: That's right, I'm Hilary Duff. And I see that you have a microphone, and I would be more than happy to do an interview.
    Kermit: Uh, we weren't planning to do an interview with a celebrity.
    Hilary: Oh, that's okay, we can still do one. I'm actually planning on getting my driver's license, and I'm...
    Kermit: No one asked you to do an interview!
    Hilary: So, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take the official driver's test...
    Kermit: What you're gonna do is get outta here, because we are waiting for the mouse to run up the clock!!
    Hilary: Well, anyway, I got myself a Jeep, which has all kinds of fancy features, like mapquest, and it has a really cool stereo system, and...
    Kermit: Hey, Dulcy?? Does she belong here, huh?? We weren't planning on a teen star, were we??!! GET HERE OUTTA HERE, WILL YA??!! WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THESE NURSERY RHYME THINGS?? I MEAN, I'VE HEARD OF CRAZY THINGS HAPPENING, BUT THIS IS JUST COMPLETELY WIERD! SHE WON'T EVEN LET ME SAY A WORD!! SHE JUST KEEPS BLABBERING ABOUT HER LIFE!! WE NEED PEOPLE TO WATCH OUR NEWS!!! (fade away, then we go to some more various inserts, and now, the final scene with Hilary)

    Hilary: Well, I'm so glad you could join my show. It was really special. (closing theme starts) Now, I just have to say that my show was brought to you today by me, my band, and my windsurfer, and all my friends. I hope you join me next time, when I get to perform more songs from my new album, and we can do more fun stuff together! Oh, and one more thing. My show is a production of Disney networks. (fade to black)

    Okay, how does that sound guys?? Awful, isn't it?? How would you guys like it if Hilary took over Sesame Street? She practically already has!! All the little kids I know like HER music now, and not the great music from Sesame Street! Is that fair???
  7. mikebennidict

    mikebennidict New Member

    maybe she could sing 123 Sesame Street like Stevie Wonder did back in 73. or Gover could ask her hey Hilly? could you sing high, low, long, short? like he did with Stevie.
  8. ssetta

    ssetta Active Member

    Yeah!! That's a good idea! I don't know if I'd like it as much, though.
  9. bobhopesite

    bobhopesite Active Member

    When I saw this thread. I thought for a moment Hillary Duff was going to take over Sesame Street. I said huh? Why would she be on Sesame Street. Mabe she will be a guest star on the show.
  10. Docnzhoss

    Docnzhoss Active Member

    Hillary Duff is going to take over Sesame Street. She's already everywhere: singing, starring in bad movies and bad television, magazines. It won't be long before she's singing the "Elmo's World" theme song and helping Big Bird find Ernie (There he is! Behind the Lizzie Maguire 2 movie poster!) She is the epitome of all that is wrong and evil in the world, and girls ages 8-14 love her for it. With every dollar that is entered into her bank account, her power grows, and one day that power will spill over and the world will become known as Duffworld and global currency will be known as LindseyLohanstinksyen and we all will become like gum on the bottom of her Sketchers and it will be the end of the world as we know it. I'm fighting back by buying every copy of every CD and movie she has ever put out and burning it! She must not rise to power!!! :crazy: :concern: :confused:
  11. homerthegreat

    homerthegreat Member

    Hilary Duff has already taken over the US. Look out, Sesame Street.
  12. JaniceFerSure

    JaniceFerSure Active Member

    Yeah,and who will be next Paris Hilton,Lindsay Lohan?Guess who won't be turning in to it that day.:rolleyes:
  13. mikebennidict

    mikebennidict New Member

    maybe they could of done 1 where he also tried to interupt Miles and his band performing his song about SS and he and the rest of the band get mad and he and everyone else beats her with their intruments.
  14. ssetta

    ssetta Active Member

    Yeah! And they could show both of them singing at the same time! I bet Oscar would love that! :grouchy:
  15. Dantecat

    Dantecat Active Member

    Now If They Could Make In Episode Like That,That Would Just Be Definately Funny!!!!!

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!! :)
  16. zanimum

    zanimum New Member

    Unique. Very unique. Let's leave it at that.
  17. punkNpuppets

    punkNpuppets New Member

    at the surfboard part, it would have been hilarious if she had've wiped out. i highly doubt she knows how to surf but then again, is there anything she's talented at aside from being a whore who's younger than me?
  18. ssetta

    ssetta Active Member

    Well, I have to say that I got the idea of this from this special that aired over a year ago on the WB where she celebrated her 16th birthday party on the island of Hawaii. I cried a lot when I saw that, because this is the first time ever that someone younger than me has become famous. And believe it or not, one of the scenes I recognized when they were on the river, believe it or not, I think it was the EXACT SAME RIVER that the SS cast was on when they went to Hawaii in 1977-78, and it reminded me of those episodes back when they were ON NOGGIN!! But hopefully, this new cable channel will pick up some of those.
  19. punkNpuppets

    punkNpuppets New Member

    do you like wanna be famous?
  20. mikebennidict

    mikebennidict New Member

    maybe is the case of Ernie, he's taking a bath and she walk in and get's in the tub with him. they sing the RD song in a modern forum. Bert walks in and is outraged seeing her in the tub with him. schocked and says Ernieeeee!!!!!!!!! what is she in the tub!? see just walked in and we were singing the RD song isn't that nice Bert? bert: no it isn't you can't have a young lady especially a teeage girl get in of tub with you this is a children's show! Ernie and Hilary go :p :p to him.


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