I am in need of serious help. :(

[luvtosr]

I also was thinking today about how things seemed to be different when we first started dating.. and that's probally because I have taken that feeling away. I want it back, and it will take a lot of work.. and I have doubt that i can do it.. but I still can't give up.. I'm in a lot of pain, and I feel bad being in pain over something like this..when other people are going through so much more serious things in their lives..

1. Don't feel bad over having heartache - it's called 'ache' because it hurts.

2. Rather than trying to get back to where you were when you first started dating try to find a new plateau of wonderfulness. When you first go out with someone it's all new and exciting and it's all about getting to know each other - I'm sure you've heard of 'The Honeymoon Period'. Well, I'm afraid it's over but that doesn't mean things need to get on a downward spiral. You just need to coax the relationship into a new era.

3. Why not try doing something for her that says 'I care about you' BUT make it clear that it's about you doing something for her and just for her and not something that screams "I'm doing this so that you will tell me how great I am, and how much you care for me because I'm needy and insecure" (I don't mean to insult you here). Make it clear to her that it's all about how much you care for her, no conditions attached.

 

[Ernie101]

Thank you, I think I can do this. I'll plan something sweet for Thursday, when I see her. I'll write her a letter,and I'll let her know how much she means to me. I am very insecure, not about my looks really.. just about my personality and about her. I may be too caught up in the past to move into the future. I will definantly let you know how this goes.. Thank you all for the advice as I keep you updated! You are truly amazing friends.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

That's sweet about the letter. Hand it to her, and as she reaches for it, pull it back and tell her you'd rather read it to her. THEN you can insert the inflections and tones you want it to be read in. Just tell her about how you care for her, don't mention anything bad in it, don't make excuses, just tell her how you feel and where you want things to GO--mention the future, but forget the past, in the letter.

 

[Ernie101]

Thank you Fozzie, I'll work on that and give it to her tommorow.

She just doesn't want me to push her away.. and neither do I. It's not my choice or deceision on what she wears, and I'm starting not to care. I just don't want to lose her and I absolutely hope I do not. Things went better today and I hope they continue that way. She is my life and without her I don't think I would be the person I am.

Fozzie, I tryed to talk to you on messenger earlier but you signed off..well actually just now.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Sorry! I sign on, hit the emails, and split usually. Gotta go quick to catch me on, and even then I might be rushed, so if I am it's nothing personal! Also, if you IM and I don't immediately respond, I'm not ignoring you---I'm on dial-up!

 

[Ernie101]

Gotcha..

I'm not sure of anything anymore. It's like every other day I do something wrong..Why is love full of pain? Maybe because I care too much.. I am definantly a romantic, and at least she tends to like that. We will see how tonight goes,and if I mess something up then I will be extremely disappointed in myself. Well, I will keep ya posted.

Drake (Sleepless in Virginia.)

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Don't think about the fact that you might mess something up. Think about ways to go the next step and make it the best evening EVER! Be spontaneous and fun. What kind of things does she like? Talk about those things. It's your "first date," kind of attitude you need. Impress her, woo her, say the things you know she needs to hear and wants to hear!! Don't hold back, man. Smile a lot, comment on her hair, choice of clothing. Tell her to talk to you, tell you things. Give you secrets, anything just so you can hear her voice because of all the sweet things in the world, her voice is the sweetest! It's all cheesey, I know, but if she likes romance, this is good stuff!

 

[Ernie101]

YOU are seriously a good friend.. Heck, a good group of friends. I have NEVER and I mean this, seen a group of people so willing to help out someone they are just starting to get to know. I don't know if you all feel this way, but I consider you friends.

Anywho, I am going to try and make this an amazing night. She thinks I am funny, whitch is a plus, and I will try and make her laugh a lot. We are very close, and I have planned for us to go swimming tonight in my pool. Usually when we go out their we have a BLAST, and since it is a very hot day out, it should be lots of fun.
I will give her a letter, read it to her, and see what she says.

Mostly the only thing that bothers me is when I try so hard and she doesn't say much in return..but maybe it is because I am asking her.

Thank you!

Drake(Still sleepless in Virginia.)

 

[BEAR]

Goodluck, man! We're pulling for ya!! Sorry for not getting on AIM yet. If we can't talk on there we can still chat on the boards or you can send me PMs and I will surely reply to you.

 

[Ernie101]

I understand about the AIM.

Just nervous about tonight, haha. I have about 3 to 4 hours before she shows up. Things should go pretty smoothly.