It Feels Like Christmas

[redBoobergurl]

Such a sweet chapter! Everyone Matters was perfect! There was good comic relief in this chapter too though! Beauregard as Johnny Depp!!! Too funny! Looking forward to more, but only post when you're able and I hope your grandpa is going to be ok. I can relate, my grandma is 92 and has little bouts of things every now and then.

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 13: The Season of the Spirit

Scooter, Pepe, and Rowlf watched from off stage as Beauregard got booed for his impersonation of Johnny Depp. Meanwhile, Fozzie, Gonzo, and the rest of the Muppets on stage tried to continue the song.

"What?!" Scooter shouted. "Where's Mr. Depp?"

Rowlf and Scooter both turned around to Johnny and Sal. "Scooter wants to know Sal!" Johnny nudged the monkey. "Go on, tell him!"

"Um," Sal thought. "You see, uh we there was this bulldozer! Yeah, yeah, this huge bulldozer! And it was about to knock over this crate of bananas! Now, we couldn't let that happen! So, what did we do? We called Johnny Depp, of course we knew he could help, he's Johnny Depp for Jim's sake!"

"Who's Jim?" Johnny whispered over to Pepe.

"Who knows?" Pepe said. "Famous baseball player maybe?"

Sal shook his head. "So anyway, Johnny Depp, he comes flying in! He crashes into the bulldozer and busts it down! But we find out that the bulldozer belongs to the government right? So Johnny Depp, he gets arrested! So Johnny Fiama and me, well we felt it was our duty to go and support Johnny Depp in court. So we get there, and who's on jury duty? Bean is, that's who! And we're all calm and stuff you know, we know Bean's our friend and he won't vote our guest star guilty, but then whadaya know, BAM!" Sal clapped his hands loudly and Scooter and Rowlf jumped back. "Bean votes guilty!" Sal nodded. "So basically, it's all Bean's fault, right Johnny?"

Johnny raised his eyebrows, he looked from Sal, to Scooter and Rowlf, to Sal again. "Huh?" he said simply.

Sal smacked his head. Fozzie and Beauregard ran backstage panting. Scooter stared at them. "Are you two ok?" Scooter asked.

They panted. Fozzie spoke up, "We...tried...to bring...Gonzo..." he panted.

Scooter the others nodded. "Yeah and?" Rowlf asked.

"We...couldn't..." Beau panted harder.

"Why not?" Scooter asked.

"He...was...enjoying...it...too...much..." Fozzie sighed.

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"Wha ha ha!" Gonzo cried as he dodged flying vegetables. "I hope if I stay on here long enough that someone will throw a chair!" he hinted to the audience.

Waldorf and Statler looked at each other. "Nah," they shook their heads and put down their chairs.

"You know Waldorf, you and that weirdo share a common ground," Statler said. "You're both mentally unstable!"

"Better than being chemically unstable you old fool!" Waldorf hit him in the chest.

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Kermit held his head and stood up. "Sheesh," he sighed. "Was I dreaming, or did Beauregard really go on stage and say he was Johnny Depp?"

Bubba took a bite out of cookie. "Yup," he said blankly.

"Good grief," Kermit sighed. He stood up and began to walk to the door. "I've gotta get down there," he walked to the door, pulled on his coat, and opened the door.

The Muppet Newsman shot in front of him. "This is a Muppet Newsflash!" he shouted. "Kermit the Frog, sick with the flu, tries to escape the house on lock down! Details at eleven!"

Kermit was mobbed by a group of Muppets who appeared out of nowhere and carried him over to the couch and sat him back down. They disappeared as fast as they had arrived. "Good grief," Kermit sighed. He turned back to the television and watched Gonzo as he enjoyed getting pummeled with vegetables.

"What a waste of good food," Bubba said.

**************************

Scooter was breaking down in front of everyone. "What do we do?! What do we do?!" he kept shouting.

Rowlf shook his head. "Marvin Suggs, on stage," he said into the intercom. Behind him, Marvin Suggs herded the performers of the Muppaphone on stage. Rowlf looked around. "Uh, Pepe," he said to the prawn.

"Si?" Pepe asked.

"Go onstage and introduce the next act," he said.

"Hokay, hokay, I can do this. Hokay?" he said as he ran on stage. "Hola peoples!" Pepe said to the audience. "I am Pepe, and jou," he pointed to a lady in the front row. "Are very sexy. Hokay? Maybe jou'd like to stop by de after party tonight and we could deck de halls. Hokay?"

Scooter held his mouth open as he watched. He tried to speak but couldn't. Just then, Bunsen and Beaker ran up to him. "Mr. Scooter!" Bunsen said. "Here, we haven't had a chance to hang it yet, but we have the Muppet Labs Mistletoe ready for the show tonight."

"Me me me mo me!" Beaker agreed.

"What the heck are we going to do with mistletoe in the show?!" Scooter asked.

Clifford walked in holding Skeeter's hand. "Heh heh heh," he laughed as he swiped the mistletoe from Bunsen. "I think I have an idea," he held it above him and Skeeter's heads and kissed her.

Scooter dropped his clipboard. He stomped forward and took the mistletoe from Clifford. "ANIMAL!" He yelled.

Animal came barging in. "Wha'?" he asked.

"Dinner!" Scooter said as he fed the mistletoe to the drummer. He glared at his sister and Clifford once more then stormed off.

"Man, what got into him?" Clifford asked. Skeeter elbowed him in the stomach and walked off. "Aw, baby, don't be like that!" he called after her.

Rowlf watched them and shook his head. "Love never turns out right around here does it?" he asked. Just then Miss Piggy and Robin ran in from the back doors. "And speaking of which..."

 

[TogetherAgain]

Wow, great chapter, Prawnie! Sal's story is great, and Gonzo enjoying the vegetable pummeling, and mentally vs. chemically unstable, and the newsflash, and Pepe's intro, and Poor Scooter! ANd the mistletoe, and Animal, Dinner! hehehe, I love it! I love it all! And Rowlf's line at the end, it's awesome! AND MISS PIGGY AND ROBIN ARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! Oh man I want to see what happens next, I want more more more because this is so insanely AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...and did you notice, we posted our new chapters at like, exactly the same time again....

 

[theprawncracker]

...and did you notice, we posted our new chapters at like, exactly the same time again....

Si, and did you also notice that we posted our responses at the same time too? Freaky...

And thank you 10 billion times for the responses everyone! I'm so glad you're all enjoying this! I know I am!

 

[D'Snowth]

I'll read it later, I gotta hit the hay!

 

[redBoobergurl]

I've been laughing so hard reading this story! It's comedy gold and yet touching all at the same time! Which basically amounts to Classic Muppet genius. Way to go, keep it coming!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 14: Wherever You Find Love

The Electric Mayhem walked off the stage. "Great number gang," Rowlf told them.

"Fer sure!" Janice said.

"Yeah man, we were hot tonight!" Floyd said. "Speaking of which, are we prepared for Gonzo's act?"

"Yup," Rowlf said. "We've got the curtains fireproofed."

"That's good," Floyd said. "We wouldn't want a repeat of last month," he laughed.

"Agreed," Rowlf said. "Alright Gonzo, on stage for your big number!" Rowlf said into the intercom.

"Finally!" Gonzo yelled as he jumped from the railing upstairs. "Alright guys, let's get on stage!" He called out. Then, a partridge, two turtle doves, three French hens, four calling birds, six geese a-laying, seven swans a-swimming, eight maids a-milking wearing five golden rings and their cows, nine ladies dancing, ten lords a-leaping carrying a cardboard pear tree, eleven pipers piping, and Animal ran on stage. "Alright, all twelve days, present and accounted for!" Gonzo said.

"Well gee Gonzo, I thought there were twelve drummers not one," Rowlf said.

Gonzo sighed. "Yeah I know, but Animal scared the other eleven off," he said. "But oh well, I think Animal has enough volume to equal twelve drummers anyway," he said. He ran off onto the stage.

"If that ain't the truth, I don't know what is," Rowlf shook his head.

Miss Piggy walked up to Kermit's desk where Rowlf was standing. "Oh Rowlfie," she said. "Are vous prepared for the big closing number that moi has prepared?" she asked sweetly.

Rowlf sighed. "Ready as I'll ever be," he said. "And Fozzie and the others said they would do it to," Rowlf said.

"Si," Pepe said as he popped up in front of Piggy. "But we are not doing it for jou! Hokay? We are doing it for Kermin, Kermin, and de audience. Hokay?"

"Whatever!" she said as she hit Pepe with her arm and knocked him into the hat rack.

"Sorry Mr. Writer," Pepe said before he fainted.

"So when do we go on for the closing number hmm?" Miss Piggy asked Rowlf.

"Uh," Rowlf looked on the stage as smoke started to fill the backstage area. "Right after Gonzo's act. That is, if there's any stage left," he ducked as a drum with a pipe through it flew over their heads.

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Kermit watched Gonzo's act on the television. "And now," Gonzo said. "I the great Gonzo will eat five golden rings while my nose is danced on by nine ladies! All while on top of a pyramid consisting of cows, pears, birds, and leaping lords!" he said. "Drum roll please!"

"Ah yeah!" Animal said. "DRUM ROLL! DRUM ROLL!" he pushed the drum out in front of the pyramid as one of the lords a-leaping leaped onto it and slipped knocking over the rest of the pyramid.

Kermit scrunched up his face and looked at Bubba who was still sitting next to him. "Don't look at me," Bubba said. "I'm gonna go get some more cookies," he said as he hopped off the couch and walked into the kitchen.

"Sheesh," Kermit sighed. "I could really go for some of mom's soup right about now," he said.

The Swedish Chef walked in carrying a huge steaming pot. "Suoop! Suoop! I mede-a sume-a suoop fur zee fruggie tu feel better!" he said.

Kermit scrunched up his face again. "I think I just lost my appetite," he sighed.

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The curtains opened and the spotlight shown on Miss Piggy, who was wearing a bonnet and dress from the 19th century. "Life is full of sweet surprises, every day's a gift," she sang.
"The sun comes up and I can feel it,
Lift my spirits," as she held the last note the lights shown on the rest of the stage and Fozzie, Gonzo, Rowlf, Scooter, Pepe, Rizzo, the Electric Mayhem, Sweetums, Robin, Clifford, and Skeeter were seen on stage with Piggy in 19th century clothing as well.

"It's in the singing of a street corner choir," they all sang.
"It's going home and getting warm by the fire,
It's true wherever you find love,
It feels like Christmas!" they all sang.

"A cup of kindness that we share with another," Scooter sang.
"A sweet reunion with a friend or a brother."

"In all the places you find love," Skeeter and Clifford sang.
"It feels like Christmas!"

"It is, the season of the heart," the Mayhem sang.
"The season of the spirit,
The message if we hear it, is make it last all year!"

"It's in the giving of a gift to another," Gonzo sang with Rizzo at his side.

"A pair of mittens that were made by your mother," Rizzo sang.

"It's all the ways that we show love
That feels like Christmas!" they both sang.

"A part of childhood we'll always remember," Fozzie sang.
"It is the summer of the soul in December."

"Si, when jou do de best for love,
It feels like Christmas! Hokay?" Pepe sang.

The music slowed down and the spotlight shown on Robin in the middle of the stage. "Let us always love each other," he sang.
"Lead us to the light,
Let us hear the voice of reason,
Singing in the night!"

The light shown on them all again and the music increased in tempo.

"It is, the season of the spirit,
The message if we hear it,
Is make it last all year!" all of the Muppets sang in harmony. They all gathered around the center around Miss Piggy and Robin.

"We reach for you,
And we stand tall," Rowlf sang.

"And in our prayers and dreams we ask you bless us all," Robin sang.

"Life is like a journey," Sweetums sang as he picked up Robin in his huge hand.
"Who knows where it ends?"

"And if you need to know," Piggy sang.
"The measure of a man,"

"You simply count his friends!" they all sang.
"It's true wherever you find love,
It feels like, Christmas!"

"It feels like Christmas!" each Muppet took a turn singing.

"It's true wherever you find love," Robin sang.
"It feels like Christmas!" he finished the song.

**********************

Kermit sat back on the couch and sighed. "That," he said. "Was a relief I needed," he laughed. "You know, for a second there I was worried about how this would turn out without a guest star, a host, or a sane member in the cast."

 

[TogetherAgain]

Kermit sat back on the couch and sighed. "That," he said. "Was a relief I needed," he laughed. "You know, for a second there I was worried about how this would turn out without a guest star, a host, or a sane member in the cast."

I SECOND THAT!!!!!!!! Holy Mosquitoes, prawnie, it's AWESOME!

Gonzo's act! The hatrack! Sorry Mr. Writer! Kermit and the Chef! "I think I just lost my appetite"!!!! THE CLOSING NUMBER!!!!!!!!!! PRAWNIE, THE CLOSING NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OY I LOVE IT! And Kermit's comment at the end, as you see, I adore! I hug it! I... I <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUG>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> it!

And, naturally, it is with great and wild anticipation that I look forward to the next chapter...

 

[redBoobergurl]

Darn it, Lisa put beat me to the chase on Kermit's line at the end! But I still LOVE it. That was without a doubt one of the funniest, most perfect lines in this story! I'm still cracking up over the whole chapter! It's just so great! Can't wait to see more!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 15: It Feels Like Christmas

The Electric Mayhem all played their instruments like they always do, loudly. "Dr. Teeth man," Floyd said. "This after party is wailing' and cooking'!"

Dr. Teeth played his keyboard and turned to Floyd. "It looks like the pig is also wailing," he pointed to Piggy who was sitting in the corner alone.

"Fer sure," Janice agreed. "And it looks like Beaker is rully cooking," she motioned to Beaker who's hair was on fire from Bunsen's latest invention.

Gonzo sat on the wall backstage and watched Beaker as he ran around on fire. "That guy has all the fun," he sighed.

Meanwhile Piggy sat alone her corner. Robin saw this from Sweetums' huge hands. "Hey Sweetums, can you let me down?" he asked the monster.

"Sure thing little buddy," he lowered his hand to the floor and Robin hopped off.

Robin walked through the crowd of Muppets congregating backstage for the party. He avoided small talk and dodged explosions, making his way to Miss Piggy. "Miss Piggy," Robin asked her. "Are you alright?"

She looked up at the young frog. "Oh, I suppose, it's just, poor Kermie, he's at home, all alone," she sighed.

"Well," Robin thought. "I guess he doesn't have to be," he smiled.

She stared at Robin. "Yes he does," she said. "He's quarantined at the house! We can't bring him to the party!"

"No, no we can't," Robin laughed. "But we can bring the party to him!"

***********************

Kermit was still sighing in relief, then it hit him like a ton of bricks. "Piggy?!" he hopped up off the couch and ran up to the VCR and pressed rewind, the tape inside began to buzz as the show rewound on the television below him. He quickly pressed play as soon as the closing number began. He saw the porcine princess on it and grasped the television on both sides and stared at it. "Piggy!" he shouted. "I thought she was in France!"

Bubba shook his head. "Dat frog is going to ruin his eyesight staring at dat television like dat," he said.

"What they hey is she doing back here?" Kermit stepped back from the television.

Suddenly, the front door burst open and Gonzo flew through it and his head got stuck in the stairs. "Hey Kermit!" the weirdo's muffled voice said.

The house was quickly filled with music and talking. Kermit smiled, "What is going on here?" he asked happily.

"Well froggy friend of mine," Fozzie said as he walked forward and put his arm around his shoulder. "Piggy and Robin they had this great idea, to bring the Christmas party to you!"

"Yup," Scooter said. "And of course we knew you needed it."

"We thought it might help you feel better Uncle Kermit!" Robin said.

"Fer sure," Janice said. "And it would totally make us feel better too!"

"Yeah man," Floyd agreed. "We realized we needed our frog to make this really feel like Christmas."

"Si, Kermin, and lots of sexy women would make dis feel like Christmas. Hokay?" Pepe said. "I see Kermin, but where are de sexy women? All I see is Piggy. Hokay?"

Miss Piggy walked forward and kicked Pepe in the shin. "That's what you get shrimp!" she yelled at him. She turned to Kermit and smiled innocently. "Oh Kermie, I love vous," she leaned in to kiss the frog. He scrunched up his face and stuck his arms out and blocked her lips.

"Uh Piggy, I wouldn't want you to get sick," he said.

Clifford walked up to stop Piggy from arguing. "Hey ya'll what are we doing? I thought we were having a par-tay?" he asked.

All of the Muppets agreed, but before they could start to party, the telephone rang. They all looked at each other. Kermit walked over to the phone. "I'll get it," he said. He picked up the phone and held it up to his head. "Hello?" he asked. "Oh, merry Christmas!" he said into it. "Yeah, he's right here, hang on," Kermit put his hand to the lower part of the phone. "Robin," he smiled. "It's for you."

Robin walked over and took the phone from his uncle. "Hello?" he asked. "Hi dad!" he shouted. "Merry Christmas to you too!" Kermit put his arm around his nephew and waited until he finished the phone call to say anything. "Ok dad, I love you too, tell everyone I said hi," there was a pause. "Oh, ok, I'll do it myself if you want, hi Lisa! Hi Beth! Hi Matt! Hi Ryan! Hi Jay! Hi Christy! Hi Louise! Hi Tabi! Hi Nyssa! Hi Dan! Hi Harvey! Hi Kim! Hi Ed! Hi Gerard! Hi everybody else!" Robin breathed out deeply. "Phew, that's a mouth full," he whispered to his uncle. "Yeah, ok dad, bye bye!" Robin hung up the phone.

Kermit hugged his nephew. "I told they still cared Robin," he said.

"Yeah, you did uncle Kermit, I think I just forgot, that everyone matters," he smiled at Miss Piggy.

Kermit nodded and stared at his friends. "It's in every one of us," he began to sing.
"To be wise,
Find your heart,
Open and close your eyes."

"We can all know everything," Miss Piggy sang as she walked up and held Kermit's hand.
"Without ever knowing why."

"It's in every one of us," all three of them sang.
"By and by!"

"It's in every one of us
Find your heart
And open up both your eyes," everyone sang.
"We can all know every thing
Without ever knowing why
It's in every one of us by and by!"

"It's in every one of us
I just remembered
It's like I've been sleeping for years," Fozzie sang.

"I'm not awake as I can be
But my seeing's better
I can see through the tears," Gonzo continued after he pulled his head out of the stairs.

"I've been realizing that
I bought this ticket," Scooter sang.

"And watching only half of the show," Rowlf continued.

"But there's scenery and lights," sang Clifford.

"And a cast of thousands,
Who all know what I know,
And it's good that it's so," Kermit sang.

"It's in every one of us to be wise," the Electric Mayhem sang.

"Find your heart,
And open and close your eyes," Johnny Fiama and Sal continued.

"We can all know everything," Rizzo, Bean, and Pepe sang.

"Without ever knowing why," Bunsen, Sweetums, and Skeeter sang.

"It's in every one of us by and by," all of the Muppets sang.

"It's in every one us," Robin sang.

"By and by," the rest of the Muppets finished.

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!