My Kidnapper, I Thee Wed: Coffee’s Story

[BeakerSqueedom]

Chit-chat stabbed your back!

He slid smoothly over the wooden surface and toward her slender fingers for a look. He tilted his head to the side in facsination at the lines that marked her pale palm. How hands facilitated a human’s everyday activities, he thought. He settled himself in the middle of her hand comfortably, pretending it was his own hand—something he wished he had. He gazed up at her breifly before asking his surprised wife for tea.​

“Tha right there is me wife.” He introduced.​

“Hiii, Mrs. Worm.” She greeted, waving her hand excitedly.​

The pink apron around her chubby form was flattering (with the words “I didn’t wash my hands” imprinted in black) for the irony presented in the phrase. She spared a wink as a replacement for a proper greeting and trailed off the the kitchen humming gleefully to herself.​

“Shoulda told me you was gonna have a guest over," She cried from the kitchen, “I woulda gotten dressed!"​

“’Orry ‘bout tha, love…truth is…you never wear clothes.” He replied honestly.​

“That’s the point of the joke, sweetheart!" She said.​

Their laughter played musically in the room.​

The warmth of the couple was truly inspirational. It reminded Coffee of the elderly back home who had commited themselves to a long lasting relationship. She supposed it was the purity of their love that made her believe in the most fanciful of dreams.​

“Do you need some help?" Coffee asked.​

“Nah, you just sit yourself down.” She said.​

She wondered how she was able to prepare something so large in such a vast place. Her size should have proved troublesome by now. Her wonderings were answered when…​

“Tea.” A druid announced, handing them tiny teacups.​

She observed the teacup excitedly, “It’s so tiny!" She squealed.​

“Of course! If it were any bigger, we’d fall right through!" Mr. Worm chuckled.​

“Yeah, thanks…now tell me how to get to Jareth’s castle?" She asked, trying her best not to sound rude.​

“Soon enough.” He replied.​

The process repeated itself over and over again. Mr. Worm would talk, and his wife would willfully join in the chatter. For most of her waiting, she needed to steer them back on track, but they distracted themselves constantly with the simplest of things. She tried to persuade them away from the most unrelated topics whenever they zoomed off to one thing or another, and they’re attention span only worsened the more she insisted.​

“You’re teeth are quite near immaculate…” Mrs. Worm commented. ​

After many pleas unheard from the girl, the queasy feeling in her stomach was replaced by a sense of urgency. She stalked the ticking clock, looking at Mr. Worm in disbelief. She had been here for an hour listening to their talks of man-eating flowers, cannibal logs, bewitched goblins, and even chickens. She looked around suspiciously, at last noticing other creatures gaurding the door. Her eyes widened a little…​

“You filthy little bugger," she started, “you’re stalling!"​

Concern blazed in the couple’s eyes the moment she uncovered their clever plot. They thought they had her fooled, and they did. They managed to suck down an hour which granted them minor success. Every hour was precious, as indeed the Labyrinth had become even more complex. ​

“Getting out, getting out, getting out!" She shrieked, running out of the room.​

“After ‘er!" They cried. ​

Goblins hopped over the tables, giggling as they flew over her. She dodged a couple from sheer dumb luck. Her dodges became too low, sending her on the floor. The glass cut parts of her body, making her screech in pain. ​

“How could you?" She moaned. ​

The fast-paced battle became violent as she clutched a handful of glass. She hurled the pieces at them furiously. Some who were unlucky began to clutch their injured parts while bellowing obscenities that'd make grandma wail. The banging of the tables, the trembling of the windows, and the crashing of glass objects made this quite the battlefield. The confusion increased her ever-rising panic. ​

Had she noticed the blood, she would have fainted. ​

She patted the wall for an opening. ​

There was none. ​

 

[The Count]

*Gasp! However will Coffee get out and into the Labyrinth? 13 hours left, that's a lucky number... Or is it unlucky? Mmm, depends.
She should've known something was up when they offered her tea. Coffee and tea? Eh, odder marriages have been known of, salt and pepper, eggs and bacon, cookies and milk. peanut butter and... pickles.
What? Do you want me to eat this girl too?
No, not yet, she must keep posting story...

Druid? Is that?
*Snubs Claudia. More please!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Inanimate Objects Are Your Friends! @_0

There was no success in locating the elusive passageway. She whirled around to face the restless goblin army with nothing more than sheer cowardice. She snatched a light-weight stool, thrusting it violently against the little bodies of furious, agile goblins. The cracking of skulls pounded softly in her ears. Her motions were blind and fast. It was clear that fear was her guidance in resisting it all. ​

“Gross!” She squealed. ​

The poor girl found herself losing breath with each swing. The longer she fought, the longer the sways were. The rocking of stools finally got the best of her. Too dizzy to continue, she made contact with the sandy ground…​

“Dear ruler of the universe, I’m sorry I put chicken crap in Robert’s juice…” She murmured, prepared to make like a corpse. ​

It took minutes for the dimwit to realize that she had escaped through the wall. After grasping the idea, she also had yet to realize she was back where she started. ​

“There was a door around here…” She said, remembering the sequence. ​

She looked to her left and noticed a black door hovering nearby. ​

“Duuurrr.” She said. ​

​

---​

Coffee spent the next half hour striding up and down the dark Labyrinth, and searching around the rock-piled walls, fully attentive of available routes. The whistling winds intensified the emptiness within, and the fact there wasn’t anyone around made it all the more worse. She paused to rest under an old, worn-out sign. She pulled her knees up to her chest, ignoring the state of her uniform. ​

The sign above her crashed on her head. ​

“I’m…with…stupid?” She read. ​

It remained in place. ​

“You’re stupid, too!” She yelled, kicking it.​

It collided against a set of steps. ​

“I take that back…you’re really smart!” She cried. ​

If the sign could, it would have smiled.​

“Come with me…I need some company!” She admitted, taking it with her up the steps. ​

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

I'm stuck on the fic...>< Eeep.

 

[The Count]

*Adores sign. Yaey sign! Smile won't you? You helped Coffee up the steps to the stairway to well, maybe not that place. And you got der Squeegder to post an update. Yaaa! Der fic is hunkee doree!

Mur post pleezee?

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Let's Play A Little Game, Shall We?

Coffee would never give up searching for Jareth’s castle; she thought of home far too much for her to give in to the psychopath king in pale tights. She wasn’t alone though, she had her friend, sign, to loyally tag along with her in her dodgy journey through the warped web that was the king’s maze. Now that she thought about it, what had changed? The Labyrinth looked exactly as it did in the film. ​

She answered one of her questions based on the structure of the Labyrinth, as witnessed, yet it raised so many others. Most of her queries implied her curiosity of the current state of this fantasy world, the races that dwelled within, and most importantly, the dangers that were not mentioned in the mysterious film. ​

The noisy shuffling of feet interfered with the need to speculate the position she was in. She stood up vertically, listening steadily. She couldn’t quite pinpoint just what made the sound, but she proceeded in searching out the culprit with her black eyes. Her smelling sense was oddly dull for a person her age—so that wouldn’t have helped her at all—an abnormal physical flaw she had. ​

She made a left turn, passing through clingy roots of dark brown, not noticing the bulbous, watchful eyes that peered out from dark holes to greet her. The giggles were faint; too faint for her to detect. The crackling of twigs beneath her feet made her cautious on where she stepped; if she planned to avoid capture. ​

She arrived to two routes guarded by strange, double-bodied men hiding behind what appeared to be red shields. They were the tricksters who confused Sarah on the topic of truth and fib, but dear old Coffee would not be fooled. Slyly, ever slightly, did a smile cross her lips. ​

“Halt! Choose your path, stranger!” The guard on the left cried.​

Her smirk only increased, this would be a piece of cake. ​

The one on the right, of course, had on a skeptical expression, while the other one had on a more fearful expression – they must have realized she knew the way. It took her a moment to warm up to the idea of being doubtful– but she had to compose herself. She knew what was implied, based on their expressions, but her faith in her knowledge of the movie strengthened her confidence and gave her newly-found arrogance a boost. ​

It was not in her nature to be as headstrong when she shoved the skeptical one to the side, giving out a teasing giggle. She winked at him slyly and skipped joyfully ahead to further her progress…’til she plunged through the concrete floor and onto the soft, lush grass. Her echoing screams followed after her as she landed. ​

Gasping, she shot up automatically, jerking her head about to survey her tropical surroundings. Her rapid breaths were put to a hold as soon as she realized she had been right in believing she’d make it through. She won this round it seemed. ​

Had this been a video game, she would have questioned the actuality of the stage. It was too quiet, almost suspicious. The wind cradled her dark bangs to soothe her worries—it didn’t help. The trees shook their leafy heads to address her distress—that didn’t work, either. The cocking of an antique 1850’s rifle sparked her fear—that worked. ​

“I chose the path of death!” She realized. ​

Wide-eyed, she faced her intruder shakily, holding her sign close to her, pleading him to find that bit of mercy. She was a coward and that was a fact. ​

The man positioned his rifle for good aim, his eyes dancing with amusement, before squinting to gaze through the magnifier. His face tensed as the wrinkles of his face sharpened around the soft dry skin near sapphire eyes. Thick eyebrows of gray lowered into focus, his mustache intensifying the thickness of them. After a swift second, his thumb stealthily crept up to the hammer and pulled it back. The cocked rifle freed a rusty bullet. ​

The bullet sunk into the grass near her. ​

“Little girl, the hunt lasts up to three hours tops,” he said flatly, “I’ll give you a ten minute start.” ​

“What are you gonna hunt?” She asked. ​

“You, of course.” He answered truthfully. ​

“You can’t…” She objected. ​

The sign she held had a different saying. ​

“Yes he can?” She read. ​

He could.​

She could still hear the aged man whistle contentedly behind her; taunting her, she knew very well he could smell it through what could have been years of experience. Years of practice probably taught him the typical emotional pattern of human behavior when endangered. His voice had softened the farther she went. His words sent chills creeping down her spine. ​

“First, fear grips them like a praying mantis on the hunt, then their hearts cave within their chest, panic rising faster than a throbbing pulse…” ​

She had all the senses of despair present, as depicted in his words. She tore through a forest of thick bamboos. The pace was incredible due to her hypertension. The stiff plants whipped across her form, slowing her down on the way. The whipping sound would lead him to her if she continued going the way she was. ​

A new strategy was called for. ​

"No sh*t, Sherlock." She read.​

Dumb sign.​

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

I found muse!
Oh joy!

 

[The Count]

Oh no! Poor Coffee... She's being hunted. Mmm, wonder if this means there'll be fresh Coffee grounds to track down. Funny sign. Yaey, guards of Truth and Fib! Um, more please?

 

[MrsPepper]

I'm totally caught up now, and all I have to say is:
Oh.
Em.
Gee.
I LOVE it! So much. The sign is a great idea; it kind of reminds me of The Really Useful Book from Mirrormask. The challenges she's encountered so far are very scary and I'm nervous for her! Also, I know she's the protagonist, but I can't wait for some more Jareth. ><

 

[Redsonga]

I feel silly asking this, but who is Coffee in the first place? :\
It's just I don't know the name from anywhere...and there aren't many details as to what she looks like