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The corny joke thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kiki, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. GonzoLover85

    GonzoLover85 Member

    Wow, you're right. Told several times over. OK. How about this one:

    Dr. Jones was new in town, and after a particularly bad day at the hospital, he decided he would go to a bar for a drink. When he got there he discovered that the bar-tender specialized in making daquiri's. Jones thought, Why not try one? So, Dr. Jones ordered a daquiri with some walnut shavings on top for extra flavour and discovered that it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

    This daquiri with walnut shavings was so good that he went there the next day after work for another one, and the next day, and the next day, always ordering the same drink. After some time the bartended got to know Dr. Jones and could figure out when he would arrive at the bar and he would get his daquiri ready for him before he arrived.

    One day, the bartender realized he was out of walnuts to shave onto the drink, so he substituted hickory nuts for the walnuts.
    Dr. Jones came in to his pre-prepared drink, took a sip and immediately spit it out, demanding: "This isn't my usual, barkeep, what is this?"

    The bartender replied "It's a hickory daquiri doc..."
    Vincent Liu likes this.
  2. Oscarfan

    Oscarfan Well-Known Member

    If #2 pencils are so popular, why are they still #2?
  3. tutter_fan

    tutter_fan Well-Known Member

    Probably because pens are #1!:crazy::D
  4. Reevz1977

    Reevz1977 Well-Known Member

  5. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Here's a joke that I made up that's so corny and lame, it has to be done in the style of a game of "Scenes from a Hat"...

    DREW CAREY: *Pulls card out of hat* "Alternate names for Mad Magazine"...
    ME: *Walks out on stage* Highlights for Sadists.
  6. Oscarfan

    Oscarfan Well-Known Member

    What do you frozen band-aids for?





    Cold cuts!
  7. APRena

    APRena New Member

    What's blackandwhiteandblackandwhiteandblackandwhite?
    A penguin rolling down a hill.

    What's black and white and laughing?
    The penguin that pushed him.
  8. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    What did the Mexican chef say about the weather?

    It's gonna be chili today, but hot tamale!
  9. Gelfling Girl

    Gelfling Girl Active Member

    Here's one that one of my friends told me last week:

    A couple are taking a safari, and their tour guide is named Rudolph the Red. Their guide says, "Look, it's raining!" The woman argues that it's snowing. The man then tells her, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
  10. I've got one:

    Why did Cookie Monster eat a light bulb?

    Because he wanted a light snack. :insatiable:
  11. Pork

    Pork Active Member

    Just want to say thanks to everyone who's posted in this thread. I found so many awesomely corny jokes to put in my Mums Christmas Cracker! hehe... and to say thanks... here is a joke my brother in law made up.

    Q. What is invisible and smells like cookies and milk?

    A. Santas farts!




    (yeah I know right! But we're not related by blood, so it's ok, hehehe)
  12. tutter_fan

    tutter_fan Well-Known Member

    Hey, what do you get if you cross Timmy Turner with Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Paul Rubens?

    A bunch of nutheads!
  13. Pork

    Pork Active Member

    why don't eggs tell each other jokes?



    because they might crack up.


    (I am an expert at dodging rotten tomatoes...)
  14. Oscarfan

    Oscarfan Well-Known Member

    BUMP!

    What's the difference between one and two yards?

    A fence!
  15. ZeppoAndFriends

    ZeppoAndFriends Well-Known Member

    What do you call a cow with no legs?
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    Ground beef.

    *Is pelted with hamburgers*
  16. Reevz1977

    Reevz1977 Well-Known Member

    OK....heres a BAD one that always makes me chuckle...

    What is E.T short for?

    Because he has little legs!

    *Tumbleweed*
  17. ZeppoAndFriends

    ZeppoAndFriends Well-Known Member

    And now, a monster joke in honor of the start of October!

    Why was the witch's broom late for work?
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    Because it overswept.
    .
    *Crickets chirping*
  18. Oscarfan

    Oscarfan Well-Known Member

    Confucius say: Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
  19. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Man this stuff is really really corny... but then again, I don't have much better material... after all, I DID have a joke about a pencil, but it doesn't have much of a POINT... WOCKA-WOCKA-WOCKA!
  20. Sgt Floyd

    Sgt Floyd Well-Known Member

    Got this one off a popsicle stick

    What do you call a horse that surfs?

    A seahorse! Ah ha ha ha *crickets*


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