The Fifth Semi-Annual Muppet Central Awards Ceremony!

[Oscarfan]

*Still upside down* Congrats....CLHR?

 

[theprawncracker]

PRAWNIE: Please welcome Prairie Dawn and… The Swedish Chef? Who paired them up?

(PRAIRIE DAWN and The SWEDISH CHEF come onstage) (Applause)

PRAIRIE DAWN: Hello! My big, Swedish friend and I are here to present the award for “Old College Buddies.”

SWEDISH CHEF: Oh, yah yah yah! Yer hoot de moopet de coo-eds! Ooh hoo hoo!

PRAIRIE DAWN: …Exactly. This award goes to the Favorite Member of Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester. This person has to exhibit study skills and truly embodies what a college student is.

SWEDISH CHEF: Mmm… no, no, no! Yah hoopin de cooky in der noogin!

PRAIRIE DAWN: Now that’s not very nice! Not everyone in the Dorms is crazy!

SWEDISH CHEF: Ooh yah yah.

PRAIRIE DAWN: Well I’m not crazy.

SWEDISH CHEF: Mmm…

PRAIRIE DAWN: (Screaming) I said I’m not crazy! ! ! (clears throat) Here are the contenders for “Old College Buddies”…
AnimatedC9000
WhiteRabbit
Winslow Leach
Skeeter Muppet
Fragglemuppet

SWEDISH CHEF: Hoor de vinner…

PRAIRIE DAWN: WhiteRabbit! Hooray!

ANNOUNCER: Ailie is currently enrolled in the Dorms with her roommates Zoot, Dr. Teeth, Chamberlain, and Spamela Hamderson.

 

[Beauregard]

*Still upside down* Congrats....CLHR?

Beauregard Janitor: *still in Prawnie's room* *turns screen upside down to read this, then continues rummaging through Prawnie's sock drawer*

Back at the awards...

Bo: Congratulations to WhiteRabbit!
Bobo: *holding magicians hat* And for my next trick...
Bo: Are you even a magician?
Bobo: I borrowed it off the guy by the concessions stand...

 

[Oscarfan]

Well, I've gotta go! *Falls off the cealing* I mean to do that! So long!

 

[TogetherAgain]

Lisa: <waves down at stage> HEY CHEF, BUDDY! WE'RE OUTTA CHOCOLATE AGAIN!
Robin: ...Has she even been in the room lately?
Rowlf: Once in a while, she sneaks in the room in the middle of the night. Or at least, that's why I'm GUESSING the peanut butter keeps disappearing.
Lisa: <blink> Oh... Oscarfan fall down go boom. ...DON'T RUN TOO FAST! Give the blood some TIME to get back to the feet, first...

 

[RedPiggy]

*rolls eyes as she comes back to slip Hoggle a $10*

Gee, it took getting a makeout scene between you and Sarah to get that award! Sheesh!

 

[Beauregard]

Ailie: *drags Spammy up the stage and screams her gratitude once more* THANKS SO MUCH! ! ! I feel for you people who put up with reality instability and I love yous all so much. <3

Spamela: *blows kisses* <3

*a brief pause pause while the entire fabric of reality reforms itself around WhiteRabbit*

 

[theprawncracker]

PRAWNIE: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now my contractually obligated pleasure to introduce the gorgeous, talented, and well-paying… Miss Piggy.

(MISS PIGGY is revealed behind parting curtains) (Incredible applause)

MISS PIGGY: Oh, vous like moi! Vous really like moi! Ah ha! It’s always such a pleasure for moi to be invited to the Oscars. What took ya so long to get me back, huh? When was the last time moi was here? The early ‘90’s? Come on! With a huge star like moi, how could you not invite me? I’m like Jack Nicholson! Always—

ANNOUNCER: Erm… Miss Piggy?

MISS PIGGY: (annoyed) What?

ANNOUNCER: These aren’t the Oscars.

MISS PIGGY: …Come again?

ANNOUNCER: These aren’t the Oscars… we said you would see Oscar. As in… the Grouch. These are the Muppet Central Awards.

MISS PIGGY: The WHAT? Vous dragged moi all the way here for some cruddy FORUM award show? Somebody get me my agent! BERNIE! You are SO fired!

ANNOUNCER: So are you not going to read the teleprompter?

MISS PIGGY: Can I still get into the after-party if I don’t?

ANNOUNCER: …No. No you can’t.

MISS PIGGY: (groans) Alright, fine. (very obviously reading off teleprompter) Blah, blah… Moi am so delighted to be here… Yadda, yadda… Ah! Here we go. The contenders for the “Kissy! Kissy!” award for the Biggest Supporter of the Frog/Pig Romance—Ooh! I like this award! Ya hear that, frog? There are supporters! (clears throat) Anyway… here are a few of them.
Ruahnna
Muppetfan44
theprawncracker
RedPiggy
Leyla
And the winner is… Open Envelope. Who the heck is—Oh… Umm… (opens envelope) Ruahnna! Congratulations!

ANNOUNCER: No one else supports the frog and the pig like Ru! Her fan-fiction, “Kermie’s Girl” illustrates that best.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Lisa: YEAH RU! KEEP THE USHY GUSH ALIVE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! <Ahem> This whole, all-the-blood-in-the-head stuff... it DOES things to ya. And besides, I came outta the ush-gush denial years ago, thank you, Layla. ...Rope?

 

[Beauregard]

Bo: *to Bobo* You got any pickles?
Bobo: Pickles?
Bo: Yeah, like...cheese and pickles.
Bobo: No pickles.
Bo: Ok. What was this award for again?
Bobo: Pickles?
Bo: No, I think...The MC Member most bribed by Miss Piggy...
Beau: Hey...that's my friend!
Bo: The pickle?
Beau: *mutters*