Fan Fic - And what is on the other side...?

[Whatever]

Oooh, the suspence...

 

[Beauregard]

As if that wasn't enough suspence, the plot thickens:

__

They stood on the doorstep and tried to find a door handle. But the door was as flat as the wall. Mrs Nancy’s house was painted a pale pink with streaks of darker red running down like mildew. Her door hardly looked different from the rest of the wall in fact except that it had a letterbox in it.

“There has to be a way in,” Mr Regard said. “Honestly.”

Beautinglroth gave him a look. “Are all the houses built like this these days? With no door handles or locks?”

“Nope. We all have door handles, and lots of bolts on the outside.”

Skeeter looked away from examining the door for a second. “On the outside, what earthly good do they have?”

Regard blinked. “They were Mrs Nancy’s design, of course,” he said. “But we can find uses for them, I’m sure.”

“I’m sure she can,” Beautinglroth muttered. “Especially on those she wants under her control.” He turned to Skeeter. “The problem with our species,” he said. “Is that we are terribly gullible.”

Skeeter smiled slightly. “Did you know that…”

“…gullible has bee taken out of the dictionary?” Beautinglroth finished. “Yes,” he said, sceptically.

“It’s such a shame,” Mr Regard said. “It’s a very pleasant word.”

“Letterbox,” Robin said thoughtfully.

“Um,” Regard agreed. “That is a nice word too.”

“No, ah, ha.” Robin laughed. “I meant Letterbox is a way to get in.”

“I vote brute force,” Skeeter said.

“How would we get through the letterbox?” Beautinglroth asked.

“I’d go,” Robin replied. “And then I’d let you all in.”

“What if there’s those fluffy things to stop people’s hands coming out?” Mr Regard said quickly.

“There won’t be,” Robin said with his usual optimism. He hopped up onto Beautinglroth shoulder. “Please,” he said. “Please let me try. I really want to help Beauregard.”

“No,” Skeeter said. “I won’t allow it. Robin, if you get hurt your Uncle will never forgive you, or, um me..”

“Come on, Skeet. You’re sounding like Scooter.”

Skeeter shook her head. “No way. Uncles mean a lot to some people, and I won’t let you get hurt. Kermit would never forgive himself.”

“I won’t get hurt,” Robin insisted. “I’ll be fine.”

He jumped from Beautinglroth shoulder to Skeeter’s hand, then onto Mr Regard’s walking stick, which was leaning against the door.

Beautinglroth laid a hand on Skeeter’s arm. “You should let him go,” he said. “He’s young. He needs to take risks.”

Skeeter turned away. “I still don’t think he should.”

“Too late.”

They both swung round to Mr Regard.

“What? Why?” Skeeter said very fast, her questions tumbling over each other like beetles.

“Why? Who?” Beautingleroth asked.

“Who? When?”

“When? Where?”

“Where? What?”

“What? Where?”

“Where? Why?”

“Why? Who?”

“Who? What?”

“Robin,” Mr Regard said blinking hard and trying to keep up with their questions in his mind. “He just went through the letterbox.”

It was true. Robin Frog had taken advantage of Skeeter and Beautinglroth’s arguing and had slithered through the letterbox, right into the waiting paws of Mrs Nancy. From outside, they didn’t hear him shout.

*****

7 YEARS AGO

Beauregard was in his room dusting the cabinets, when there was a polite knock, and the door cracked open. A snout poked through the crack, then Miss Piggy pushed the door open and came in.

She was dressed in pink, with satins and lace. A hat was perched on the edge of her head, covering one ear. Her gloves were dark pink. She flounced into the room, and sat on the bed. “Hello, looser,” she said by way of greeting.

Beauregard’s mouth dropped open a little. “Er, hello,” he said.

“I just came from a meeting with the writers, you know, the writers of our new movie, The Great Muppet Caper.”

Beauregard blinked. He wasn’t in that movie, so what did she want to tell him about that for. “And, what?” Beauregard said slowly.

“And I’ve managed to convince them to give a teenzy leetle part for you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, yes, yes! I can be very persuasive.”

Beau twisted a finger in his ear. “Sorry, did you say I’m in the Caper film?”

“Yes! I wrote the part just for you!”

“You did that? For me?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because, hmm, I don’t know why, just because!”

“Really? Who am I playing?”

“Yourself, of course. The thick taxi driver. Originally they had a generic actor to be that character, but I thought, you! And I changed it to fit you a little more. You know, a bit S T U P I double D.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“And also I inserted some lines for you in the crowd scenes.”

Beauregard grabbed her gloved hand in his paw. “You are so kind to me. You are my only friend.”

Miss Piggy snatched her hand away. “Don’t think me,” she said. “Thank yourself. Later.”

With that, she hopped off the bed, and out of the room. It was only thinking back that Beauregard noticed something strange about her. Her eyes were dark red with stripes of purple.

*****

NOW

Beauregard was falling. For once. Not failing, falling. He’d been travelling to his favourite spot in the fog and storm, until the wind had buffeted him from the rope ladder down, down towards the sea.

Salt water licked up at him, spitting at his face. His foot was caught in a weed that hung on tightly to the cliff-face. Around him the fog seemed to swirl into faces and people he recognised. Rowlf, Robin, Kermit. Nice people. The rats who had tricked him into being their president. Mrs Nancy who had given him the part in Muppet Caper.

No.

It wasn’t Mrs Nancy. It was Miss Piggy.

“Do you need some help, ok?”

Now he was hearing voices.

“Beauregard, ok? You there, ok?”

That sounded like Pepe. Beauregard turned his head. He was finding it hard to move suspended above the sea by his foot caught in a piece of stringy weed. “Pepe?”

“Pepe is here, ok. You need a hand, me thinks.”

“Yeah. I think I do.” He turned his body, saw an outline of Pepe swinging a rope, then the weed snapped and Beauregard was plunged under the roaring seawaters.

To be continued...

 

[Whatever]

Yikes! I'm on the edge of my seat here!

 

[Beauregard]

Er, Whatever, I think that has more to do with the fact that you're sat on the same seat as Sweetums and he's taking a little over half.

 

[Xerus]

That was a great next chapter you wrote. I can't wait to read more.

 

[Whatever]

Er, Whatever, I think that has more to do with the fact that you're sat on the same seat as Sweetums and he's taking a little over half.

Too true.

 

[zeldazipple]

Great fic Bo! Wow! It took me 3 hours to read it fron start to now. Best fic I read in along time. Can't waite to read the next chapter!

 

[Beauregard]

Coming up later today, hopefully.

Glad you liked it!

 

[TogetherAgain]

and then what?

ok I officially confess that I was obsessed with this site for months before I joined. Which allows me to admit the following.

Bo, I officially declare that I LOVE this fanfic. I officially declare that I have been trying to be patient with waiting for what happens next. And I officially declare that I am running out of patience.
I want to KNOW......what happens NEXT...... what happened to Kermit, and Rowlf, and Sam, and Gonzo..... And who cut the wire....And what's going to happen to Robin, and I WANT TO KNOW!

And to make up for sounding rather harsh just now, I will add that I absolutely love the whole muppet labs scenes stuff, and I love the whole thing, and that I'm sure that when you do post the rest, it will be well worth the wait, and I'm just sort of.... um.... ok I'll shut up and go to sleep now....

 

[Beauregard]

*gulp*

Forgive me. *grovel, grovel*

I am OFICIALLY sorry for forgetting about this (again...) I'll get back on to it. Becuase I do happen to know who cut the wire... I will devote some time to satisfying your questians.

Have a good day.

Beauregard.