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Fan-Fiction: The Muppets' Mid-Age Crisis

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    I beseech thee, yonder naggers and new readers! I was wondering when someone would get tired of my lack of posting... ;) I'm writing more as we speak! It'll be up this evening or tomorrow!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  2. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 6

    Not surprisingly, talking to Link was no more impressive than looking at him.

    “—I stared him straight in the eye and said, ‘I just don’t get it Artie,’” Link said, “‘Why a round table?’ But… uh… Artie doesn’t like to be disagreed with, so he sent Lancelot after me… They call him Lancelot for a reason. He likes his lance… a lot.”

    Kermit frowned heavily. “Ya don’t say,” he said, forcing conversation while Princess Piggy, Sam, and Link’s advisor, Julius Strangepork met in private against the back wall—obviously having a very intense conversation based on their wide-open mouths and the volume of their voices.

    Link looked Kermit up and down from flipper to eyeball. “Are you… the castle pet or something?” the pig asked.

    Kermit scrunched up his face. “I already explained to you that I am Kermit the Frog, a brave and valiant knight!” said Kermit in his usual brave and valiant tone.

    Link stared down at the frog. “You? Are you sure?”

    Kermit sighed heavily. “Yes, I think I know what I am.”

    “Huh,” Link said blankly. “Well I’m Link Hogthrob, prince of Sty.”

    “Sty?” Kermit asked. “As in…”

    Link nodded. “Pig Sty, yes.”

    “Good grief,” Kermit said with another sigh.

    “Um, excuse me,” a voice asked Kermit as he felt a tap on his shoulder.

    He turned around and saw Beauregard the Court Jester standing before him. Behind the jester was a green man with slick black hair and a bored expression standing next a monkey in an apron.

    “Uh, can I help you?” Kermit asked.

    “No, no,” Beauregard said, shaking his head, making the bells on his hat jingle. “We’re the ones who’re supposed to help you!”

    “Yeah,” the monkey said. “I’m Sal, and this is Johnny Fiama—castle servants!” Johnny Fiama’s eyebrows lowered angrily as he turned to glare at Sal the monkey. “Oh, sorry,” Sal said quickly, “he’s the castle servant—I’m the castle servant’s servant!”

    “The castle’s servant has a servant?” Kermit asked. “Ritzy place.”

    Sal the castle servant’s servant shrugged. “I’m not on the castle’s pay-roll—”

    “Yeah. Get this,” Johnny Fiama said, “he works for peanuts!” Johnny laughed at his own joke, proud of his less-than witty attempt.

    “To work for you, ya gotta be nuts,” Sal mumbled.

    “Wha’ was that?” Johnny asked, advancing on the monkey.

    “Did you… need something?” Kermit asked, cutting off the fight before it ensued.

    Johnny looked back at the frog. “Who’re you again? Oh—the frog, right, right!”

    Kermit scrunched up his face. He turned back to see if Link was at all perturbed by the castle servant and his servant, but found the prim pig was simply examining his cuticles—even though he was wearing gloves.

    “We were supposed to ask ya if you needed anything,” Sal said with distaste being hinted in the general direction of Johnny Fiama.

    “No, thank you, I’m fine,” Link interjected. “Though a glass of sparkling mineral water couldn’t hurt—and would you mind opening a window in here? It’s so stuffy. And if you have any more of those chocolate éclairs from the buffet in the waiting queue, that would be lovely.”

    Beauregard blinked slowly. “So… we should stuff the Q’s, open the chocolate, and water the windows? …R-ight,” he said, walking away, scratching his head.

    Johnny and Sal watched the jester walk off, and then turned back to the brave and valiant frog. “What about you?” Johnny asked.

    “Erm, well… it would be nice if they could hurry it up over there,” Kermit said, motioning to the gathering of pigs and an eagle. “But it’s really—”

    “You got it!” Sal declared. The monkey stomped off past Kermit towards the group. “Alright youse! Listen up! The frog needs ya to hurry it up, alright? He’s been very patient and it’s about time you all shut up and told him what he wants ta hear? Got it?” Sal yelled at the top of his lungs.

    Johnny quickly ducked down behind Kermit just before a loud crack blasted through the throne room. “HI-YA!” the princess shouted, knocking the monkey across the room with a steady, hard-hitting (obviously) karate chop.

    Kermit’s jaw dropped around his neck line as he stared at his (hopefully) bride-to-be. He gulped loudly. “Does she do that often?” he asked no one in particular.

    “You have no idea,” Johnny (who isn’t really anyone in particular) said with a slow shake of his head.

    Much to Kermit’s surprise, Princess Piggy, Sam Eagle, and Strangepork were walking towards him, Link, and Johnny when he turned around.

    Sam glared at Kermit intensely. “Impatient,” he said, clicking his tongue maliciously, “not good, not good at all…”

    “But… I wasn’t—oh, forget it,” Kermit muttered.

    Princess Piggy moved to the center and faced Kermit and Link. “Oh, fair prince and fair knight, we have come to something of a consensus… Even though moi would much rather just take the frog and zip, apparently there are certain rules one must follow whilst being a ravishing princess,” she said, tossing back her long, blonde hair. “It’s hard being this gorgeous and respected.”

    “Trust me, I know,” Link said with an exasperated sigh.

    Piggy frowned. “Anyway… there’s this stupid rule that no one in the royal family may marry a frog—”

    Kermit tilted his head to the side. “Wha’?” he asked.

    “She said no one in the royal family can marry a frog,” Link whispered.

    Unless,” Piggy continued on, very annoyed for having been interrupted (even if it was by a really cute frog), “said frog can bring back the jeweled chalice of Queen Francis IV and return said chalice to the pedestal of insomniac royals,” Piggy rambled on with little to no enthusiasm whatsoever, “thus finally putting to sleep the souls of years of crabby relatives, then, and only then, may said frog marry into the royal family.”

    Kermit sighed. “So I’ve heard,” he mumbled.

    “And since Link is also an extremely worthy candidate,” Sam interjected suddenly, “he also gets a chance to embark on this truly epic journey into the unknown! A task surely suited to his perfect nature!”

    Link looked up from admiring his own boots. “Hmm?” he hummed cluelessly.

    “Pay attention, you ninny!” Strangepork hissed at the pig. “D’ish ish important!”

    “Well, you are talking about me,” Link said, “it must be important.”

    “And so, ye strapping young… lads!” Sam declared prominently. “Ready your travelling companions, grease up your cart wheels, and unhitch the horses! Let the quest begin!”

    Kermit jumped up, startled by the abruptness of the quest’s start. He squeaked uncontrollably and darted out of the throne room to search for Fozzie and the others.

    Princess Miss Piggy sighed lovingly. “Such a brave and valiant creature!” she swooned.

    Strangepork darted forward and grabbed Link by his arm, pulling him towards his journey. “C’mon, Link, we have to get going! We can’t let ze frog get a head start!”

    Link looked around dumbly. “Where are we going?” he asked.

    “On a quesht!” Strangepork shouted.

    “…For what?”

    The princess rolled her eyes as Link was dragged out of the throne room. She turned to glare at Sam. “If he wins this thing… don’t be expecting an heir outta me, bub!”

    “Which one?” a high-pitched female voice asked. “The frog or the cute pig?”

    Piggy whipped around, staring into the face of her lady in waiting Annie Sue Pig; a curly blonde haired pig (duh) about Piggy’s height, but not nearly as pretty or talented (yes, she did pay me to say that).

    “I think she was talking about the cute pig, Annie Sue,” another high-pitched, this time male, voice announced.

    Piggy looked down. Somewhere around Annie Sue’s fat knee caps (paid me for that one too…) stood humble little Bean Bunny—a small, light tan bunny who boasted an insurmountable cuteness that exuded off him like stink on an ape. (What a hideously inappropriate comparison!)

    “Ah, moi’s lady and bunny in waiting,” Princess Piggy said. “If vous were wondering,” she informed the clueless and unseen audience.

    “It looks like your majesty finally has a chance at a suitor!” Annie Sue said sweetly.

    Naturally, the princess took the overdose of compassion the wrong way. “And just what is that supposed to mean?” she asked fiercely.

    “Well,” Annie Sue said with a light shrug, “the royal bed sheets certainly have remained cold as of late, your majesty.”

    Before Piggy could lunge forward and sock the precocious little swine across her honking nose (I’m raking in the dough this chapter!), Bean Bunny gasped loudly. “Can you say that?” he shrieked.

    “Depends on who you’re asking,” Piggy growled.

    “Oh,” Bean said simply. “Well that’s not very cute.”

    “Whatever,” Piggy said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “C’mon, moi has to get ready to see off her handsome suitor!”

    “You mean suitors,” Annie Sue said, attempting to correct the princess.

    Obviously, the idiotic and unattractive (guess who’ll be spending Christmas in Malibu?) pig didn’t realize that no one ever corrects the princess. Ever.

    “Connie Sue,” the princess said sweetly. “Why don’t vous go see if vous can help the chef clean up after moi’s lunch? Beanie and I can handle moi’s wardrobe.”

    “If you say so, your highness,” Annie Sue said, walking off towards the royal dishwashing facility.

    “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!” Bean shouted, hopping up and down. “I get to help you pick out an outfit! This is so exciting!” he said, laughing giddily.

    “Just shut up and c’mon,” Piggy said, heading off towards her room.

    Sam Eagle looked around as the throne room emptied. “I have no one to scold…” he sighed heavily. “Once again, I am forced to comment on my own inadequate performance.”

    <-> <-> <-> <-> <->

    Polly, Clueless, and Mad Monty (who shall henceforth be referred to as the Three Stooges [copyright use pending]) ran as fast as they could up the stairs of Uncle Deadly’s tower.

    “Hoo-wee!” Polly whistled. “The boss is gonna flip when he hears about this!”

    “But—” Mad Monty said, panting heavily. “He already—knows about—the—quest!”

    “Yeah, but he doesn’t know d’at d’ey’re startin’ it now!” Polly said.

    “That’s today?” Clueless asked. “I had no idea—or else I woulda showered!”

    “Showers haven’t been invented yet, you idiot!” Polly hissed.

    “Oh,” Clueless said. “Now I don’t feel as bad.”

    “Too bad you still stink as bad,” Polly said, laughing at the joke.

    “Can we—take a rest?” Monty asked, still panting.

    “‘Course not!” Polly shouted. “We’ve gotta tell the boss about this now!”

    “Just go on without me!” Monty moaned, collapsing to the floor.

    “Get up, dip-stick!” Polly shouted. “We’re at the door!”

    Mad Monty looked up at the door directly in front of him. “Oh,” he said. “I knew that.”
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  3. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member


    Oyoyoy SO much good in here!


    And and and LINK is such an IDIOT! And ANNIE SUE AND BEAN! PARENTHESES! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I like your parentheses. Have I ever mentioned that?

    MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  4. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Well-Known Member

    Loved the new chapter. The side comments about Piggy paying you to say certain character comments is priceless!

    Keep up the great work!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  5. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Extracts Prawny's money as we're collecting on his authorial back taxes. And don't let me hear you're being paid off by miss hamhocks again, or the jail cell will have another Bandit staying there. Now get back to posting updates to your story.

    *To camera: Somebody's gotta make sure this story, and writer for that matter, remain fair to all characters. *Champions the cause for Annie Sue and Miss Mousey and others like them. :flirt:
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  6. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    LOL @ Chapter 4.

    You'll never get to Malibu for Christmas. You're entire extended family will show up and trip over an icy patch and threaten to sue ;)
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  7. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    There go three months worth of surfing lessons down the drain. So, you're off to build some bunk beds. Aaaah, B words!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  8. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter Well-Known Member

    Yay! "Thing-Annie-thing-thing" is in this one!

    *joins the Count in his cause for the "forgotten female Muppet rights"*
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  9. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Fires off a few frozen fouls at Cracker O' Prawn. Post an update ye scurvy chutney, or we'rn gonna swab the chest o' drawers with ye! ! !
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  10. Java

    Java Well-Known Member

    Oh, Prawnie, you are cracking me up with this story. I can't wait to see more!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  11. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Well-Known Member

    *shaking some of the dust off of my old nagging stick*

    Please post more soon, definitely missing this story!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  12. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    I'm really trying... just caught in a bit of a slump at the moment... I'm going to really try to buckle down tonight and get the chapter written though.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  13. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    UD, with shackles in hand: Need any help?
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  14. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    *clears throat cautiously* No thanks. *scampers off*
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  15. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    UD: Are you sure? These were used to keep a little old lady encarcerated every Sunday! Feh, no market for good torture devices anymore. At least for what they were intended in the first place. *Leaves to peddle his wares in another author's thread.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  16. Java

    Java Well-Known Member

    Would it help to know that it would work up some inspiration in other writers?
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  17. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Why... yes, yes it would! :insatiable: I'm writing it as we type... well, now I'm not, since I'm typing this. But I was before I had to come type this... *ahem*
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 7

    Kermit darted past Fozzie, Scooter, Robin, Gonzo, and the horse without a word.

    The five of them exchanged looks of confusion as Kermit pulled an about-face and returned to their position. “Scooter, load up the things—” Kermit started.

    “We don’t have any things,” Scooter said.

    “Erm… well, load up Fozzie! We’ve got a mission!” Kermit said quickly.

    “A mission?” everyone (except the horse, of course) asked in unison.

    “But Uncle Kermit,” Robin said, “I thought you were going to marry the princess!”

    ‘I was, Robin,” Kermit said. “Well… I am—erm, that is, I hope to. That’s why we’re going on the mission, you see.”

    Gonzo’s eyes widened. “Does that mean if I go on the mission, I could marry the princess?” he asked wildly.

    Kermit scrunched up his face. “No, I’m afraid not,” he said.

    The Duke of Wherever sighed. He then shrugged with a much happier tone. “Well… she’s not the only pig in the sty!” he said. “Ha ha!”

    Fozzie turned and looked at Kermit. “The princess is a pig, Kermit?” the bear asked. He bit his bottom lip nervously. “I guess that makes her a royal boar! Ahh! Get it? Wocka! Wocka!” Fozzie said, delivering the pun.

    “Stop that,” Scooter pleaded with the bear.

    “Erm, guys?” Kermit said. “The mission?”

    “Right, c’mon guys, we have to focus,” Fozzie said. “Where are we going, Kermit?”

    “I’m… not exactly sure,” the frog said.

    “Well what’re we looking for?” Gonzo asked.

    Kermit cleared his throat. “The jeweled chalice of Queen Francis IV,” he said proudly.

    “What’s a chalice?” Scooter asked.

    “I think it’s a type of bird,” Fozzie said.

    “No, no,” Gonzo interjected, “it’s a rare type of cheese!”

    “Well whatever it is,” Kermit said, “I’ve got to find it. So who’s with me?”

    “I am, boss!” Scooter said eagerly.

    “You can count on me too, Kermit!” Fozzie said.

    “Yeah, me too!” Gonzo said. “Surely the adventure will be filled with intrigue, danger, suspense—all my favorite subjects! Ha ha!” the weirdo said, laughing wildly.

    Kermit frowned. “Gonzo’s right,” he said softly. “Robin,” he turned to his nephew, “this adventure is much too dangerous for a small frog like you!”

    Robin gasped. “But Uncle Kermit, I have to go with you!” he whined. “Who else is going to protect you?”

    “The question is, young nephew, is who is going to protect you?” Kermit responded.

    You, of course, Uncle Kermit!” Robin said.

    Kermit scrunched up his face. “But that leaves no one to protect me!” he said.

    “I’ll protect you, Kermit!” Fozzie said worriedly.

    “Not helping, Fozzie,” the older frog chided gently.

    Please can I go with you, Uncle Kermit?” Robin begged. “I won’t take up much space! Why, you could carry me right in your nap-sack if you wanted!”

    “Yes, but then where would I stash my nap?” Kermit asked.

    “But I’m the one who needs a nap, Uncle Kermit!” Robin argued. “And I can nap in the sack! See? I even give the bag a purposeful name! I’m already helping!”

    Kermit shook his head. “It is out of the question, dear nephew. You simply are not going,” the knight said.

    “Uncle Kermit I have to go!” Robin said, now trying to argue the case of reason. “Where will I stay?”

    “I’ve got it!” Gonzo said, jumping in between the two frogs. “We can drop him off at my castle in the Land of Wherever! If we leave now he’ll be there just in time for the yogurt gargling competition!”

    Kermit stared at his new friend the Duke. “Erm… on second thought… maybe he should come with us.”

    Yay!” Robin chirped joyously, hopping up and down. “Oh, don’t worry, Uncle Kermit! I’ll be as quiet as a mouse, as unseen as the wind, as distant as Albuquerque!”

    “Which is already more than you can say for Gonzo,” Scooter said.

    Just then, the rumbling feet of Sweetums the Captain of the Guard barreled towards the group. “Sir Kermit!” the monster bellowed. “Wait!”

    The guard skidded to a halt in front of the frog and panted heavily. “You… forgot your… sword!” Sweetums pulled out the frog’s gleaming silver sword from behind his back and passed it on to the knight.

    “Oh!” Kermit said, taking his sword. “Thank you, Captain Sweetums. You’ve certainly made this journey a lot more… defended.”

    “No problem,” Sweetums said, standing proudly. “Good luck on that journey—not that ya have much competition.” Sweetums motioned behind his back with his huge thumb.

    Kermit and the others peered around the hulking monster and watched as Link tried (and failed numerous times) to climb up the single step into a carriage being pulled by two horses with Strangepork at the reins.

    “C’mon, Link!” Strangepork scolded the dim-witted prince. “You’re letting ze frog get a head schtart!”

    As Link slipped on the step again, falling on his empty head, the right (as opposed to wrong?), brown horse whinnied, obviously laughing at the pig. “Get a load of our cargo, Wayne!” the horse (yes, ladies and germs, the horse) said to his partner in a rather obvious Jersey (Joisey?) accent.

    His partner—the left, gray horse (apparently named Wayne)—looked back at Link scrambling from the ground. Wayne sighed. “Unbelievable, Geoffrey,” he said with a thick British accent. “How do we always get saddled with such buffoons?”

    “Foist of all,” Geoffrey said, “it’s Jeff. Second… we’re horses! Did ya expect us t’get car-seated with the buffoons?” Jeff asked, laughing at his own joke.

    Wayne stared at his partner. “What on earth is a car?” he asked.

    “Okay!” Link shouted, poking his huge head out of the carriage window. “I’m ready!”

    Strangepork rolled his eyes and shook his head. “It’s going to be a long trip…” he muttered.

    “Ooh… well I’m warning you now,” Link said, “I need a pit stop at least every hour.”

    The reins clacked as Strangepork set the horses hooves moving. They trotted past Kermit and his gang of merry things. Wayne and Jeff looked back at Kermit’s horse as they passed.

    “I say,” Wayne said, “certainly doesn’t look like a very smart fellow.”

    Kermit frowned. “What’d I ever do to you?” he asked.

    “Not you, flippers!” Jeff said. “The four-legged thing you call a horse standin’ behind ya!”

    Fozzie rubbed the horse’s snout gently. “Aww, don’t listen to them,” he said. “You’re very smart for a horse! You beat us all in Go Fish, didn’t you?”

    Gonzo folded his arms and huffed angrily. “He stacked the deck…”

    Link, head still out the window, looked back at Kermit. “Bye, bye hippity-hop! See you at my coronation!”

    Kermit’s expression was one of frozen distaste and apathy for the pig. “Good grief,” he sighed finally. “Can we get going, please?”

    “Yeah!” Robin said courageously, taking a step down the path (of greatness?). “It’s time to be brave and valiant and find the malice of Queen Fran of Four!”

    “That’s the chalice of Queen Francis IV,” Scooter corrected the young frog.

    Gonzo gasped. “Where? We’re supposed to be looking for that!”

    Kermit scrunched up his face again. He decided the best course of action would be to just climb atop his horse and ride off into the sunset—and hope the others followed.

    Just before he could ride off into the sunset (although… it is only midday), Sweetums said his goodbyes to the brave and valiant froggy knight.

    “Well, g’bye Kermit!” he said. “Good luck and all—I’ll put in a good word for ya with the castle staff!” he said with a chuckle.

    “Thank thee, fair Sweetums,” Kermit said. “Your noble act of nobility shall forever be remembered if I do one day become king!”

    “Whatever ya say,” Sweetums grunted. He bent down to Robin’s level and smiled at the little frog. “You be careful out there, okay little buddy?” he said, sweeping Robin into his massive palm. “It’s a dangerous kingdom!”

    “Oh, I will, Sweetums!” Robin said eagerly. “I’ll miss you though!”

    “Aww,” Sweetums cooed (…Sweetums? Cooing? How strange). “I’ll miss you too pal.”

    Just then, a thought doth poppethed into yonder brave and valiant knight’s head. “Hark, Sweetums! A proposal I have for you!”

    “Propose? But… Kermit,” Fozzie whispered, “you’re supposed to marry the princess!”

    Kermit frowned down at the bear. “Fozzie!” he groaned.

    Sweetums looked up at the frog. “What’s yer proposal?” he asked.

    “Take care of my nephew Robin while Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, my horse, and I venture out into the dangerous kingdom,” Kermit said. “If you complete this simple task for me, when I return to become king, I shall make you commander of the entire royal army!”

    What?” Sweetums and Robin both shouted.

    Sweetums eyes lit up as visions of commanding his very own royal army danced (ravaged?) through his head. “It’s a deal!” he declared happily.

    “Oh good,” Kermit said with a smile.

    But Uncle Kermit!” Robin whined heavily. “You said I could go!”

    “That’s right, you did say that, Kermit,” Fozzie reminded his friend the frog.

    “Yes, nephew Robin—and advisor Fozzie—I did say that,” Kermit said. “But that was before I thought of a much more important mission for you!”

    Robin gasped. “A mission?” he asked. “Oh, Uncle Kermit, what is it?” The young frog had clearly forgotten about having been duped by his uncle.

    “Young Robin, I need you to not only get to know the entire castle staff, but I also need you to get to know the princess,” Kermit said. “And, uh, maybe help her to know me a little better too,” Kermit said with a goofy smile.

    “What a great mission!” Robin said. “Oh boy! I’m gonna get to know everybody!”

    “Do me proud, nephew,” Kermit said. “I know you won’t disappoint.”

    Kermit turned on the horse and withdrew his sword, shining it in the air picturesquely. “Now, men, let us begin our journey into the unknown! Huzzah!” Kermit shouted.

    “Huzzah!” Fozzie, Scooter, and Gonzo responded.

    Unfortunately… the huzzahing shocked Kermit’s horse and set him off in a dead bolt into the woods near the castle.

    Scooter, Fozzie, and Gonzo stared off as the horse galloped away with their fearful leader. “I think that’s our cue to go,” Gonzo said.

    Scooter nodded. “Bye Robin!” he said.

    “Bye Scooter! Bye Fozzie! Bye Gonzo!” Robin called after them as they chased after the horse.

    Sweetums shook his head. “I dunno who’s gonna make it back from this journey… but I hope it’s the frog,” he said.

    “Me too!” Robin added. “My Uncle Kermit’s gonna make a great king!”

    <-> <-> <-> <-> <->

    “Uncle Deadly! Uncle Deadly!” Polly shouted, barging into Deadly’s inner-sanctum. “The frog and the pig have set off on their journeys!”

    Uncle Deadly sulked out from the shadows and grinned wickedly. “Good, good,” he hissed. “Now all that remains is ensuring the frog returns with the chalice and not that idiot pig.”

    “How are ya gonna do that, boss?” Polly asked.

    “How else?” Deadly asked. “Cheating, of course!”

    Clueless shook his head. “Mother said to never cheat!” he said. “…Too bad dad never said that.”

    “You three will follow the frog and his friends and do whatever you can to ensure they find that chalice!” Uncle Deadly explained.

    “What if they see us?” Monty asked.

    Uncle Deadly shrugged carelessly. “Tell them you’re travelling salesmen.”

    “But what are we selling?” Clueless asked. “Oh, I hope it’s scented candles!”

    “I’ll turn you into a scented candle if you don’t can it!” Deadly hissed.

    “Can a candle?” Clueless asked. “Candle in a can… I could sell it!”

    “Just go, you idiots!” Uncle Deadly shouted.

    “But boss… how’re we gonna know what you want us to do?” Polly asked. “I mean… I dunno if you noticed, but Clueless ain’t exactly da sharpest sword in the sheath!”

    “Don’t worry about that,” Deadly said. “If I need to contact you… I will. Now be gone!” the dark wizard told his minions, sending them back down the flight of seemingly endless stairs.

    Uncle Deadly turned and tapped his crystal ball with his wand. It flashed to find Kermit getting carried away by his horse. Deadly frowned. “It looks like they’re going to need a lot of help.” He scratched the back of his head with his wand. “…Maybe I should’ve sent someone other than those nincompoops.”
  19. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Oh I love it. OH I LOVE it! The horses, the ROBIN, the Sweetums, the napsack, the Link! The cheating! The CANDLES! Canned candles. And Uncle Deadly! Oh awesomeness. Happiness! MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
  20. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Well-Known Member

    Fantastic! Totally love the role Robin is playing; it's totally fit for him. Hilarious as always; I can't wait for more!:)

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