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MopFam 4: Cacti are Not Welcome

Discussion in 'Friends and Family' started by Beauregard, Apr 30, 2012.

  1. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: *amused* I knew a pirate named Rupert with a wooden leg. I know what you're thinking...what did he call the other one? ...wait...
  2. Harvey Towers

    Harvey Towers Well-Known Member

    *The tent flap opens and the head of Mr Harvey followed by the bodies of Mr Harvey and Suzan respectively come through*

    Mr Harvey: Rated R? That’s three before U isn’t it? And two after and then eleven after PG. I suppose it depends on what system you use. Not that I watch pirate movies. The quality isn't very good. I blame the I patch over the lens. Do you know I used to classify my films by how many exposures they had... Twenty-four, thirty-six and so on. Even I realise that’s a bit old fashioned. We are all metric here after all! I like to sew two films together these days and make a sixty frame film. Two and a half seconds of enjoyment when played at the right speed. I expect you all do something similar! Still I haven’t got time to chat incessantly; I just popped over to give you this Mr Moppet. It’s from the Management.

    *Mr Harvey gives Mr Moppet an instamatic Polaroid box brownie pinhole camera*

    Mr Harvey: I expect it’s too dark in here to be of any use. Why it’s so dark that I expect there are some people I haven’t even noticed and will go on to fail to acknowledge or interact with.

    *The camera fails to pan round to show Suzan’s head which has yet to enter the tent*
  3. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: Why, Mr Harvey! *holds up a similarly shaped instamatic Polaroid box brownie pinhole camera* Snap. I received a similar package from Management, do you know what it means? Mine contained a film, but I cleaned that out with some kitchen roll...
  4. Harvey Towers

    Harvey Towers Well-Known Member

    It’s not voice activated Mr Moppet, you can’t just say “snap”, silly! You have to press this button.
    *takes a picture of Mr Moppet, causing a blinding flash*
    While that’s developing, look at this picture I took of Suzan earlier.

    *Mr Harvey holds his finger over Suzan’s face*

    *He moves his finger to reveal that he had accidentally had his finger in front of the camera lens when he took the picture*

    SuZan! Take this back to the office and have it blown up at once! It will come in handy as a substitute if for some reason I can’t put my finger on something.
    Mr Moppet, in answer to your question, no. I can’t comprehend the reason why we’ve been given these cameras. I’ve had nothing at all in the way of memos from the Management on my “Memos from the Management” app on my Wilson’s Standard Issue Touch Screen Tablet Computer. I can only assume that they want us to photograph something in order to record it for posterity.

    *looks at the newly developed photo of Mr Moppet*

    I never knew you had such tiny pupils.
  5. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: I think you may be getting me mixed up with Mr Cole...he has tiny pupils, and some huge ones, but the school nutritional department are getting onto that as we speak.
  6. Harvey Towers

    Harvey Towers Well-Known Member

    Mr Harvey: Didn’t Rupert with the wooden leg have tiny pupils? And a pronounced limp. Spelt L, I, M, P, pronounced limp. Or was that the dog with no nose? In any case I’m going to change the film in this camera and hold myself in readiness. Watch.

    *Mr Harvey, having opened the camera, produces a watch*

    So that’s what the Management meant when they said to keep the minutes in camera!

    *hands Mr Moppet the gold pocket watch*

    You’d better have this Mr Moppet. It does look a bit nautical. Or should that be nicicle? I can never remember which grow up and which grow down. Now you’ve got the time do you have any inclination of what we’re supposed to do?

    Footnote: The “minutes in camera” joke was subsequently nominated as “Humorous, Comical or Gently Entertaining Remark of the Year” by the Association of Accountants, Insurance Salespersons, Financial Analysts and Associated Professionals Who Opted to Make Money Rather Than Lead Interesting Lives (AAISFAAPWOMMRTLIL)
  7. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Uncle Bob: Does this mean Father is being retired?
  8. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: Well, there is a little inclination but we can sleep horizontally rather than vertically across the tent we are less likely to roll away... if we get 'tired again' or 're-tired', as you put it, bro. *obliviously fiddling with the gold watch* But regarding these cameras, I was aperture office the other day when I came across a file that may have the answer. I'll call Suzan if she's back at the office to bring it over. *dials out from camera/phone*

    Footnote: The writers of this episode received a special award from Camera Associated Multimedia and Procurement (CAMP) for the placement of the word "aperture" in a pun based situation.
  9. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    <The tent flap opens again, revealing an individual--presumably human, presumably female, but covered in so much dirt that it's hard to tell for sure, and you really wouldn't want to get close enough to check because the smell... well, let's not get into that. Anyway, she pokes her head into the tent.>

    Goat: Hey, tent people! Mind if I join you? It's startin' to rain, and I don't wanna get clean. <Squeezes into tent> Call me Goat. Not a goat, but Goat. S'my name. Sorta. Hey... <snaps and points at Father> I know you. Don't I know you? You look familiar... <Claps once, loudly, and throws arms out> FROSTY! I remember YOU! You're that crazy guy with the house full of CRAZIES! <Slaps Father on the back> How are ya, Frosty? Doin' good? Aw, it's GREAT to see ya again! <Gives Father a HUGE hug, promptly covering him in a layer of dirt, and spots Jack> Hey BANDY, you're here, TOO? <slaps Jack on the back> Good to see ya, Bandy, good to see ya! Glad you're not in jail! Anyway, Frosty, bud, is this your tent? It's a nice tent! Way better than that old house. You're movin' up in the world!
    The Count likes this.
  10. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: *assaulted by assorted smells and Goat* Oh its YOU! I thought the drains were backing up again after the whole alligator incident. What are you again, young Goat lady, some sort of Faun or Centaur? There's certainly a great deal of... scent or... something going on here now. *into phone* No, not you Suzan, did you find the file? The one I use on my nails. Good, now use it to unlock the drawer and find the project I was looking at...
  11. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Wha-huh? Oh, the remote. I thought you said you wanted the goat, and hey, there she is. *Points at Goat. Guess you won't need that remote then. *Rows away in boat across the moat.
  12. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Goat: <scratches head, thus scattering some dirt in the tent> Haven't we covered this, Frosty? I'm a girl. Named Goat. <stretches> Ah, it's good to be here. Not as good as a mud puddle, but it'll do. So, who are these other folks? Hi, folks! <waves energetically at other tent occupants> Nice to meet you!
  13. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: *quickly dodges the falling dirt* Sorry, Goat, classic reverse Stroop effect I'm afraid. Where you say the colors you read, instead of the colors you see. In this case, names and body-shapes... Not to be confused with classic reverse Streep effect...where you underact and don't win awards.

    Footnote: The Moppet Family has often been renowned for employing the reverse-Streep effect and wiping out at award ceremonies.
  14. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Goat: Oh, hey, no prob, Frosty! No prob at all. Didn't get any of that... but no prob! Hey, you got anything to eat in this tent, buddy? I haven't eaten in, um... <scratches head--yeah, more dirt> Huh. What day is it?
  15. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: *coughing the dust aside* I did pack up a few things for a midnight treat, getting into the camping spirit and all that. *opens cool box* Jam Tarts, Quiche, a Side of Ham, Previously-Blackened Steak, Pop Tarts...well...no, these are actually just jam crackers cut out to look like Britney, Madonna and Gaga.
  16. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Goat: <leans over Father's shoulder to examine food options> Let's see... Got anything we can roast? I mean, with this nice campfire here--CAMP FIRE! How did I not notice the FIRE before? Aw, Frosty, you got me all excited to see you and I didn't even notice the FIRE! I LOVE fire. <Stares intently into fire, blindly grabs the steak from Father, and starts munching>
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Sends knave back to steal Father Moppet's jam tarts clean away.
  18. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Father Moppet: The fire...yes...well...I did try putting it out...*to phone* No, I'm looking for files on Cameras, not Tripods. *to Goat* That steak doesn't look the healthiest... and since the james tarts just mysteriously (but poetically) disappeared, if you need something to roast, we have some fish, I suppose...Salmon, Hake, Tripe, odds and ends.

    (OOC: Note: Its taken me THAT long to come up with a Tripod pun since cameras were first brought up...I've been out of the game for too long.)
  19. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Goat: <stares at Father> <scrunches eyebrows together, then raises one> Why would you put the fire OUT? I mean, it's FIRE! C'mon, Frosty! Why would you EVER, I mean... <looks around> Well, yeah, I guess the heat is kinda melting the top of the tent a little. And the smoke, I mean... not so good for the lungs. But it leaves a GREAT smell on your clothes, don't ya think?
  20. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    OOC: But you used to be Yu. Aaaah, I think I'm getting the hang of this.

    James tarts? They must have been made by some very weird sisters, the kind that warn you your camp will last until the trees come to you.
    Meh, I prefer their musical career anyway. :sing:

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