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Muppet Fan-Fic: Don't Trip the Driver

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Oct 23, 2006.

  1. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Yep, guess I was ziffled by Zany's cue card shuffler.

    What I meant is that there are a number birthdays this month of March.
    Can understand the schlorly grind... Looking over my classes, I'm gonna have to drop one of the three I took. Is sokay I think, if I pass the other two I'll still be on track with about twenty creds left to graduate.

    But enough muffining master Ryan's hexcellent fanfic. Never mind us Prawny... We're just waiting here until that chest of drawers opens up and the final chapter gets fished out, chucked over our heads boomerang style before sticking it here where it belongs.
  2. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Ladies and gentlemen... the final chapter of Don't Trip the Driver. I'd like to thank you all for being here through it, and sharing this story with me. It was definitely one of my favorites to write, hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Well... I've taken up enough of your time, so, without further ado, here is... Chapter 40.
  3. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 40

    "Thank you, thank you," Kermit the Frog addressed the audience at the Muppet Theater. "We hope you all have enjoyed the first show of our newest season, especially the new stage curtains provided by our gracious owner, Mr. J.P. Grosse!"

    A spotlight shone out in the audience at the tycoon in the front row. He stood up and waved to crowd who met him with generous applause. Kermit clapped for J.P. too, as did Statler and Waldorf.

    "Why are we clapping?" Waldorf asked.

    "Hey, if he can afford to replace the old stage curtains, maybe he can afford to replace the old curmudgeons too!" Statler replied.

    "Do ho ho ho!" They both laughed.

    "Now, for our final number, my nephew Robin and I have a quaint little ditty for you all. We hope you enjoy it, and thank you for joining us here on The Muppet Show." Kermit slid behind the stage curtain. Nigel began conducting the Muppets in the orchestra pit.

    A tune began to flow from the instruments, Floyd strummed a brief chord on his guitar as Janice followed.

    The curtains slid open, a single spot light shone down revealing the two frogs sitting together on top of a surface that was shielded by the darkness. Robin sat carefully on his uncle’s knee, and began to sing softly.

    "I can jump so far
    From the moon to a star
    That’s something
    I always could do," Robin sang.

    "I can hop, nonstop
    All the way to the top
    But I can’t get along
    Without you," Kermit continued.

    The spotlight opened wider, revealing the surface that Kermit and Robin were sitting atop. A sleek, black, baby grand piano, with Rowlf at the keys, his paws gliding along melodically.

    Kermit and Robin smiled over at Rowlf as they continued the song.

    "I can dive, so deep
    Where the old catfish sleep
    I can dance on the lily pad too," Kermit sang.

    "But when I look around
    And you’re not to be found," Rowlf joined in.

    "I know I can’t
    Get along
    Without you," all three of them sang.

    "I can’t get along!" Robin chirped.
    "I’m no good alone
    Something’s wrong
    When you’re not at home."

    "I can go through
    The motions
    That’s all I can do," Rowlf sang.

    "But I can’t
    Get along
    Without you," Kermit finished the chorus.

    Gonzo, Camilla, Pepe, and Rizzo made their way on stage, standing behind the piano.

    "When you’re all by yourself," Gonzo sang.

    "You don’t always need help," Rizzo added.

    "Jou can be on jour own
    One prawn team," Pepe harmonized.

    Johnny, Sal, Butch, and Clyde entered from stage left.

    "But it’s so much more fun," Johnny sang.

    "When you know there’s someone
    Who will always be there
    To be part of your dream," all four sang.

    Scooter, Skeeter, and Clifford filed in from stage right, and Bunsen and Beaker from stage left.

    "I can fly so high
    I look down at the sky," Clifford sang.

    "With the whole
    Wide world
    In my view," Skeeter and Scooter sang together.

    "Then I come to my senses," Bunsen sang, as Beaker meeped along.

    Miss Piggy and Fozzie entered from opposite ends of the stage, converging next to Kermit and Robin.

    "And I feel so defenseless," Fozzie added.

    "Because moi
    Can’t get along
    Without vous." Piggy swayed in Kermit’s direction.

    Animal banged on the drums, increasing the tempo as the song reached its climax.

    "I can’t get along," everyone sang. The rest of the cast began to fill the stage, The Swedish Chef and Sam, Beauregard and Link Hogthrob, Sweetums and Pops, Hilda and Lew Zealand, Bobo and Bean, all of them gathered around the piano to sing the final verse.

    "I’m no good alone
    Something’s wrong
    When you’re not at home."

    The lights on stage shut off, and a single spotlight shown on Uncle Deadly, who entered from the side. "I still go through the motions
    That’s all I can do," the phantom sang alone.

    The lights burst back on, revealing all of the Muppets on stage, including Polly, Clueless Morgan, and the pirates.

    "But I can’t
    Get along
    Without you," the cast sang.

    "I just can’t get along..." Robin sang, slowly.

    "I know everything’s wrong
    Because I can’t
    Get along

    "You..." Every Muppet held the final note as they looked out into the audience.

    Sweetums grabbed Robin off Kermit’s lap, as Kermit hopped onto the stage. He linked arms with Fozzie and Piggy, and walked to the front of the stage. Rowlf linked arms with Fozzie, Gonzo with Rowlf, Rizzo with Gonzo, Pepe with Rizzo, Scooter with Miss Piggy, Skeeter with Scooter, Clifford with Skeeter, and Uncle Deadly with Clifford.

    The chain of Muppets smiled out at their audience, including three very special viewers high above the clouds.


    Daniel was giving the Muppets a standing ovation from the couch in The Boss’s office. The Boss and Death stared at him as he shouted "Encore! Encore! Bravo! Encore!" at the flying television set.

    "Do you honestly think they can hear you?" The Boss asked.

    "I don’t care, that was great!" Daniel continued applauding.


    "Dost mine ears deceive me?" The Boss asked. "Or did I just hear Death offer up a compliment to mortals?"


    "Hey, who said you could take my mortals from me?" The Boss smirked.

    Daniel sat down between the two of them. "Don’t make me turn this couch around, you two."

    The three of them laughed. "Hey," The Boss said, reaching towards an empty bowl. "We’re out of Cheez-Its."

    "I’LL HANDLE IT." Death reached down and picked up a little bell on the coffee table, and rang it.

    The office doors opened, and Benny Vandergast walked in, wearing an apron and carrying a bowl of Cheez-Its. "Your snack foods, oh all-powerful one..." he muttered.

    Death took the bowl from Benny. "THANK YOU, THAT WILL BE ALL. FOR NOW."

    Benny curtsied sarcastically and began to walk out. Death picked up his scythe and shot a small fire ball right at Benny’s behind, sending him scampering out of the pasture.

    "I THINK I’M GOING TO LIKE CLEANING UP AFTER MY MISTAKE." Death took a handful of Cheez-Its, and watched Kermit close the show.


    "Well, we’ve certainly had our ups and downs," Kermit said.

    "And downs, and downs," Gonzo shouted.

    "Yeah, plenty of those," Rizzo said.

    "But we pulled through to bring you a show!" Kermit said, garnering applause.
    "Moi did do most of the pulling, though," Piggy said.

    "Yeah, she had to," Floyd said from the band-pit. "She is the burliest of us all!"

    Piggy growled, she turned around and picked up a penguin and hurled it at Floyd.

    "Hey! Watch it fat-back!" Floyd threw the penguin back, hitting Fozzie.

    "Ahh! No this is what I call fowl play! Wocka! Wocka!" Fozzie shouted.

    "Does that mean we get a free foul shot?" Waldorf asked.

    "Sounds good to me!" Statler declared, throwing a chicken down on stage.

    "Hey!" Gonzo shouted. "Respect chicken’s rights!" The weirdo threw a rat up at the two hecklers.

    "What about rat’s rights?" Rizzo asked.

    "Aren’t most rats left?" Zoot asked.

    "Sheesh, not that again," Kermit groaned.

    "Boss," Scooter said to Kermit. "Wrap it up, my uncle says he’s sick of all the poultry puns!"


    "Bragawk brawk byawk!"

    "Mee mo mo meep me!"

    "What kind of American are you?"

    "Gon floor de stur de chickies!"

    "Probably a variation of whatever kind he is."

    "Si, but I am a Spanish-American, hokay?"

    "That’s oxymoronic!"

    "How dare you call Oxy moronic!"

    "Oh! Good grief!" Kermit shouted, waving to the audience. "We’ll see you all next time on, The Muppet Show!"

    LipsGF4Life likes this.
  4. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Huh? So where is it? You'd better not have it hiding under the table, cause I've got you covered Prawn!
  5. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    And once again the great Eduardo is ziffled...
  6. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Shaaaaaaaa!! Ziffled by der Pruunnidou!

    Loved the final chapter and the final number. Oh how I liked the fact each Muppet got a chance to shine during the song. Even the solo spotlight for Uncle D... Funny how Benny's serving Death, guess you could call it an after-life. Wocka, wocka.

    And on another note... Yaey! Triumph for Naprawleon!
    Sure, Heart of Gold may have 45 chapters to Don't Trip's 40, but the race wasn't between those two stories. Don't Trip beat out Say Cheese!, at a rate of 40 to 18 chapters.
    And most importantly, Don't Trip's finished Something which Heart of Gold can't lay claim to, not yet anyway. Nor Cheese or Flippersteps for that matter...

    *Get the hint Lisa? We want more of your stories too!
    Thanks for this thrilling tale Ryan, look forward to either the commentaries or the next fanfic, whatever comes first.
    Gonzo: You called?
  7. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    MY WORD!!

    *ahem* Anyway... thanks Ed! Not sure about commentary on this one... maybe sometime later, I've got the next story in mind... so we'll see what happens.
  8. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member


    PRAWNIE! "I CAN'T GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU!" Are you AIMING for me to give you a record number of glomps this week, or is it just working out that way?!? WHEEEEEE! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<GLOMP!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    And SO MANY MUPPETS Oh you must be glomped. Oh you just were. Oh who cares! <GLOMP!> And DEATH and THE BOSS and DANIEL and YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FOR THE DEMISE OF BENNY! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! And the curtains and J.P. and Statler and Waldorf and OY PRAWNIE I LOVE YOU! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    And I know this story is over... But I also know about the next one... And so, contradictory though it may seem to say this in a completed story...

    MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  9. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Your word huh? *Zany comes in with a cue card printed with the words "Says You!"
    Resume raving...
  10. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    *Applause* Bravo! Wonderful ending to a wonderful story, I really enjoyed the song! Great stuff Ryan. I look forward to whatever you have up your sleeve in the future! :)
  11. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    Yes indeed. Although comentary is fun to read and all, *in Animal voice* mnew sto-ry! New sto-ry!
  12. Java

    Java Well-Known Member

    Great Stuff Ryan. Very fitting!
  13. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hey Prawny... When you get the chance, could you please send me a full copy of this awesome story? Thanks.
  14. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Hello everybodeeee it is I! Ryan, Prawnie, theprawncracker, here to post my 8,888th post! Yes! Is that not exciting? Anyhoo, I'm making this post today because I'm going to be absent for the rest of the weekend... and so you have a nifty post count number to look at. :halo: So, enjoy the post count, oh, and while you're here, why not re-read Trip? (Or if you're Beau, why not finish Trip, eh?) And, just so I'm not leaving you here with this post... why don't I deliver a little snippet from my next fan-fiction, ariving to the forum before the end of March! Vous want it? ...I thought you might.


    A taxi pulled up in front of the 123 Sesame Street apartments. The cab door opened and two bright green flippers hit the pavement. The snout that was connected to those flippers took a whiff of the air.

    As the cab drove away a trash can opened. Oscar shot up out of his can, read to tell the new visitor to "scram".

    "Hey, buddy!" Oscar shouted. "Why don't you-" The Grouch stopped, two Saturn-shaped pupils stared back at him.

    "Go on," the frog told the Grouch. "It wouldn't be Sesame Street without it."

    Oscar blinked. "Uh, well, scram," he said without anger in his voice.

    "Thanks Oscar." The frog hopped off down the street.

    "Hey, Frog!" Oscar called. The frog turned around. "Good to have you back."

    The frog grinned and nodded. He turned back the way he was headed, towards Hooper's Store.


    :halo: See you all Monday! :halo:
  15. christyb

    christyb Well-Known Member

    Or if you're me how about you comment on trip..or try and worm another post outta prawnie....:)
  16. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Or if you're me... Why not take this opportunity to squeee at the snipet of Prawny's next fanfic... And of course, start nagging him in the interest of full disclosure to have him post the story itself.
    Not to mention wonder what Christy's doing here instead of delivering reviews in her mailbox thread.
  17. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Well, first of all, cool post count! Second of all, can't wait to read the next story. I'm like giddy with excitement because it's going to be a SS story! We don't have enough of those around here! :)
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Now for my 8,998th post, I bring back my latest and (IMHO) greatest fan-fic to date. So, why not read it again in honor, eh? (Or, if you're Beau or Christy, finish it for the first time...) Oh, and about the SS story... is coming, is coming... before the end of the month. :halo:

    (2 posts to go!!!)
  19. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *The haunt is on... Silly prawn, Christy's already finished your tory. She just hasn't gotten around to posting any thoughts on the subject. And you'd better post that Sesame story, or I know someone who'll be written out of the Hensonville plot.
  20. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Ok! I have read! I have loved! I am finally caught up and finished! I am satisfied! I am glee-wiki-fied! I am Beaureg-ied! Thank you for providing such high-class entertainment!


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