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Pre-Wedding Jitters ~ A Series of Short Muppet Fan-Fiction Stories

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Well... Look who decided to change his siggy. Nice addition... Lots to laugh at here, and of course, Scooter and Kermit backstage fodder.

    Pwawn, post more!
  2. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    He he he, Prawnie said "sex" in a Muppet story. He he he. Ok, I'm being juvenille, I can't help it. I loved the interaction with Scooter and Kermit and the whole timeshares conversation and the line "do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars." Great stuff dear Prawn, must read more.
  3. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member


    Great addition! (Face reddens after reading muppets talk about sex) The note on the backstage wall is priceless, and so Kermit!

    Totally excited for more (anxiously awaiting more ushy gushiness!)
  4. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    ...Prawnie... You KNOW how hard I laughed at this... Honestly, it's a miracle that I DIDN'T fall off of my ball...

    ...And... I glomp you. See? <GLOMP!> <snuggle> <runs away to bounce off the walls and think about this scene and laugh hysterically again>
  5. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    *falls off chair*

    *nuff said*

    *giggles emerge from under desk*
  6. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Kermit picked up his bright green pencil and took out a sheet of personalized "The Muppet Show" stationary. Writing letters this way hit a lot closer to home.

    Which is a good thing, since the Frog was writing home. And with his little nephew, the small dark green five year-old frog Robin, at his side he could say hi to everyone in the swamp by taking shifts with Robin while writing all of the names in between hand-cramps.

    "Ready?" Kermit asked his nephew.

    Robin smiled and nodded. "I'm ready Uncle Kermit," he said.

    "Dear Mom, Dad, Maggie, Jimmy, Leaper, Croaker, Goggles, Blotch, Aunt Marge, Kelly, Ann, Tabby, Steve, Dave, Jerry, Frank, Richard, Jerry, Kevin, Bill, Eric, Victor, Drew, Carroll, Fran, Marty, Stephanie, David, Noel, Jeffery, Jeff, Joey, Jerry, Courtney, Morgan, Sam, Brittany, Anthony, James, Dylan, Nick, Nicholas, Nicoli, Nicky, Nancy, Nona, Nan, Noreen, Doreen, Moreen, Mary Louise, Terry Louise, Jerry Louise, Sherry Louise, Louise, Lisa, Matt, Layla, Ed, Beth, Claudia, Pepper, Salt, Garlic Salt--"

    Kermit dropped the pencil and began to shake his hand in the air. "This could take awhile," he said.

    "It always does," Robin said, still grinning. He picked up the pencil off the desk and continued the seemingly endless list of names. His grin never fell from his young face.

    Kermit smiled at his nephew. "And just what are you so happy about?"

    Robin shrugged, still writing. "Oh, you know Uncle Kermit," he said, "I just had a good day at school-- it was sloppy joe day!"

    "Oh, you took Sloppy Joe for show-and-tell again," Kermit said, "he's always good with kids."

    "Mm-hm," Robin said, trying not to let his uncle see how large his grin really was.

    It didn't work. Kermit folded his arms and sent a smirk in Robin's direction. "Anything else?" Kermit inquired.

    Robin tried to turn his grin into a plain face but he just ended up twisting up his grin. "Um, no, nothing else really. Fozzie and I might play on the Wii later today, you know--"

    Kermit wrapped his arms around his nephew's body and began to tickle the little frog. Robin's laugh filled the room as he tried to run away from the tickle monster that was now his uncle. Kermit gave chase to his prey and cornered him on top of the bed, and proceeded to tickle him until he spilled the proverbial beans.

    "Okay, okay, I'll tell you!" Robin said between his laughs.

    Kermit released the frog from his tickling bonds and fell back on the bed next to him. Both of the frogs spent the next few minutes laughing and trying to regain their respective breaths.

    Robin sat up and took a deep breath. "Okay," he said, "are you ready?" he asked intently.

    "You're starting to sound like me," Kermit said.

    "Well... I'm also starting to act like you!" Robin shouted, jumping on top of his uncle and proceeding to tickle him.

    Kermit was now laughing harder than he was earlier as Robin's tiny green fingers moved all across his stomach like tiny green earthworms.

    "That's--not--fair!" Kermit said, laughing uncontrollably between each word.

    Robin, by now, was laughing so hard that he could barely continue to tickle his uncle. He finally just fell off his uncle's chest and back to his spot on the bed.

    Once Kermit had regained his breath (again) he turned over on his elbow and looked at his nephew. "Now can you tell me?" he asked, still chuckling.

    "I dunno..." Robin said shyly. "Miss Piggy said not to tell anyone."

    "Oh ho ho," Kermit said with a grin, "this is Piggy's doing, is it?"

    "I probably wasn't supposed to tell you that," Robin said.

    "Probably not," Kermit said, "and as your uncle, I have the duty to protect you. Therefore... you'd better not tell me any secrets Miss Piggy told you to keep... secret."

    Robin hopped up on his knees. "Oh really, Uncle Kermit, you mean it?" he asked. "That would be so much easier than telling you."

    Kermit smirked and sat up from the bed. "You have no idea how many times a day I hear that," he said, "but it's usually from Gonzo."

    Robin jumped off the bed and reached up for Kermit's hand. "Well come on then, Uncle Kermit," Robin said, "we still have a lot of the list left to write."

    Kermit groaned. "We really should just start writing, 'Dear everyone' or something," he said.

    Robin giggled. "Well we could, but then it wouldn't be as personal," Robin said.

    Kermit smiled. "You're always thinking, Robin," Kermit said. "Is it my shift or yours?"

    "Middle of mine," Robin said, "Once I get to Kyle you pick it up with Forty-Four."

    "Forty-Four..." Kermit said to himself. "Joan and Alan weren't very original with those cousins of yours, were they?"

    "Depends on your sense of the word original," Robin said. "I don't know anyone else who has cousins with names One through Five-Hundred Thirty-Seven."

    "Good point," Kermit said. The two frogs reclaimed their seats at the desk and continued to write home.
  7. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

    I love the innocence captured in this chapter.
    Hah, it's so prettiful. ;_;

    *Bows head*
    *Gives him her collection of the finest coffee beans available*

    More fic, k?

    *Sips her cup*

    I...:confused: *Hugs the chapter*
  8. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    Very cute chapter, anxiously awaiting more!

  9. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hmmm... Has Lisa read this yet? No? Good, then we can get while the getting's good. And drop off this postcard for her from Uncle Traveling... Erm, wrong postcard. Prawn, post more. We'll be waiting and checking our mail for updates. You'd better not disappoint, we have spies everywhere.
    *Evil smirk.
  10. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    LOVE this line, "Writing letters this way hit a lot closer to home. Which is a good thing, since the Frog was writing home." And every other line. It's the cutest, sweetest, most real Fanfic scene I've seen for ages! I adore every moment of it. And am desperate to know the secret!

    I love how each scene is a little story unto itself. Adoreable.
  11. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    Awaiting updates

    anxiously awaiting updates to take my mind off boring summer office work! Have a great day and post soon! haha

  12. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    I missed the last chapter somehow. But, I glomp you! Cause I'm in it! As a frog! Love it! Love the interaction with Kermit and Robin, love the one liners, love the whole thing!
  13. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Sam the (American) Eagle sat upright on the couch in the living room of the Muppet Boarding House. With his blue, feathery wing he grabbed for a handkerchief at his side and dabbed his baggy eyes with it.

    “Truly moving,” Sam said with a sigh. “It is a pleasure to see that someone can uphold the values and decency that is America.”

    “Si, jou keep telling jourself d’at baldy,” said the four-armed, red-haired Pepe the King Prawn from his spot on the couch next to Sam. “It’s just Oprah, hokay.”

    “Yeah,” Rizzo the Rat said in between smacks of peanut butter in his mouth. The yellow hat, white t-shirt wearing vermin was scooping out what peanut butter was left inside a jar with his bare hands. “It’s not like she’s runnin’ for president or anyt’ing,” Rizzo said.

    Sam gasped, his beak staying open as he turned his gaze quickly to Rizzo. “That is a brilliant idea!” he said fervently. “I must call my local congressman and let him know that the next president of these fine United States is located on our television set everyday!”

    “Ya may wanna be more specific than that,” Rizzo said.

    “Si, or else jou may end up electing Ryan Seacrest, hokay,” Pepe added with a shudder.

    Sam glared down at the rat and the shrimp. “I think I know how to speak to a congressman,” he said sternly.

    Rizzo shrugged, licking his fingers. “If you say so, just don’t say we didn’t warn ya,” he said.

    Sam ignored the rat’s comment, stood up, and strutted patriotically towards the hall telephone.

    Pepe grabbed up the remote control quickly and began to flip through the channels. “Finally,” he said, “maybe ‘De View’ is on, hokay.”

    “’Da View?’” Rizzo asked with a scoff. “Why would ya wanna watch that?”

    “Haven’t jou heard?” Pepe asked, still flipping through channels. “Whoopi Goldberg es on it now, hokay, so it es bound to be very funny.”

    “Sure,” Rizzo said, “but Whoopi ain’t da reason it’s funny.”

    “Well d’en why, Ritzo?” Pepe asked.

    “Have ya seen da way t’ose squawkin’ hens go at each ot’er’s t’roats?” Rizzo asked. “It’s better than wrestling!”

    “Is there pudding?” Pepe asked.

    Rizzo did a double take. “What?” he asked.

    “De puddings,” Pepe said, “jou can’t have de lady wrestlings without de puddings, hokay!”

    “I like da way you t’ink, my friend,” Rizzo said. “First yah watch the fight, and then cleaning up afterwards is just as fun!”

    “Si, si,” Pepe said, “d’is es what I am saying.”

    “Wait a second!” Rizzo shouted, pointing at the screen.

    “What?” Pepe asked. “Jou would rather have de jellos instead of de puddings?”

    “No, no, no,” Rizzo said. “Look, d’ere, on the T.V., it’s Link!”

    “Who?” Pepe asked, turning his attention back to the T.V. “Oh, it’s just de pig.”

    On the screen Link Hogthrob sat with his legs crossed in an armchair across from the host of a popular television talk show, Max. Link was wearing a green sports jacket and jeans and was laughing happily along with Max.

    Max stroked a funny bit of facial hair on his chin as he calmed down his laughing fit. “Oh that’s priceless, Link,” he said.

    “Yes, yes,” Link said, pushing back his golden-blonde hair, “it’s really a very common mistake.”

    “I can imagine,” replied Max. “Well anyway Link, tell us, you and Miss Piggy are officially over now, aren’t you?”

    Link nodded. “Yes, of course,” Link said, “I do not condone affairs.”

    “Well they’re not married yet,” Max said, nudging Link and winking.

    “Oh, they’re not?” Link asked. “Good, I thought I’d missed the wedding.”

    Max and his studio audience laughed, thinking Link was joking (which he wasn’t). He smiled stupidly, playing it cool.

    “Well the rest of us can’t be to sure either,” Max said to the pig. “No one seems to know when the so-called ‘wedding of the century’—“

    “So called by Miss Piggy,” Rizzo said, nudging Pepe.

    “—will be,” Max said. “Can you shed any light on that for us?”

    Link scratched his head. “If I knew, I’d tell you,” Link said. “I’m just as lost as you are.”

    “Maybe he should try Hare Krishna, eh?” Rizzo asked, snickering.

    “Sh!” Pepe scolded the rat. “I am trying to watch, hokay?”

    “Well do keep us informed,” Max said.

    “Oh I’ll have to,” Link said, “you won’t fit in my pocket.”

    “Oh good grief,” Rizzo said. “Maybe d’at’s why we haven’t seen Fozzie around today; he’s d’ere writing jokes for Link.”

    “Fotzie es in de kitchen, hokay,” Pepe said.

    “Oh yeah,” Rizzo said.

    “Link, it’s been a real pleasure,” Max said, extending his hand for Link to shake. “I hope you’ll come back and entertain us again sometime.”

    ‘Surely,” Link said, shaking Max’s hand, “I just love the publicity.”

    “Really?” Max asked.

    “Mm-hm,” Link said, “that’s why I dated Miss Piggy. Of course… that’s why she dated me too.”

    “Oh boy…” Rizzo said.

    “I t’ink a can of worms has just been opened up, hokay,” Pepe said.

    “Or else it will be,” Rizzo said, pressing a button on the remote control, “once Piggy watches d’is on the TiVo.”

    “Very true, hokay,” Pepe said. “Well what do we do now?” he asked as the credits for Max rolled on the television screen.

    “I’m in da mood for pudding, suddenly,” Rizzo said.

    “D’is es so weird,” Pepe said, “I am too, hokay!”
  14. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

    Ryan, tell me...
    how is it, that you capture their personalities so well?

    Sam thinking of Opera for president?

    Rizzo and Pepe having a conversation about Whoopi?
    Oh, good lord.


    XD LOL!

    I love it.

    POOOSST! <3
  15. AnimatedC9000

    AnimatedC9000 Well-Known Member

    *claps* Very good, Prawnie. You capture... er... see above. And not a bad idea, either. *starts to make a sign that reads "Oprah for President"*

    ~ AnimatedC
  16. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Opens fire on sign. MUST Moider FOPAH!

    *Rant over... So cherry it's scary? What does that even mean?
    Prawn... I thank and salute you for this.

    Now then... C'mon Ritzo and Pepe... Les go see if there are any chocolate fudgecicles left. Ju know Topo Sticky tastes like the fudgecicles? *Licks lips.
  17. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    This chapter was laugh out loud funny! You write SO well for Rizzo and Pepe, I just love it! I especially liked the line about Hare Krishna, as that joke NEVER gets old. Also liked that they thought maybe Fozzie was off writing Link's jokes somewhere. Seriously, I'm still laughing! Can't wait to read more!
  18. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member


    That is all. Everyone said the rest.

    Wait, no they didn't.

    <GLOMP!> MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
  19. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    Funny Chapter

    Very funny addition! I wonder what Sam's congressman's response will be after he hears Sam wants Oprah as president! haha.

    Please post more soon, especially the ushy gusy parts, hehe :flirt:
  20. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    Wow--an almost ushy-gushy story from the Prawncracker--who'd have thunk it? This was very nice to come back to. Hope the wedding goes off without a hitch.

    Um, no, wait. That's not right. Um--With a hitch. That is, with the two of THEM hitched.

    To each other, I mean. Not to anything or anyone else.
    Rizzo: Like farm equipment?
    No! No, of course not. I just meant...um. Oh, never mind. Prawnie seems to know where he's headed....

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