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Pre-Wedding Jitters ~ A Series of Short Muppet Fan-Fiction Stories

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    PUDDING!

    That is all. Everyone said the rest.

    Wait, no they didn't.

    <GLOMP!> MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
  2. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    Funny Chapter

    Very funny addition! I wonder what Sam's congressman's response will be after he hears Sam wants Oprah as president! haha.

    Please post more soon, especially the ushy gusy parts, hehe :flirt:
  3. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    Wow--an almost ushy-gushy story from the Prawncracker--who'd have thunk it? This was very nice to come back to. Hope the wedding goes off without a hitch.

    Um, no, wait. That's not right. Um--With a hitch. That is, with the two of THEM hitched.

    To each other, I mean. Not to anything or anyone else.
    Rizzo: Like farm equipment?
    No! No, of course not. I just meant...um. Oh, never mind. Prawnie seems to know where he's headed....
  4. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    More updates?

    Any updates? And I totally agree with Ru that I hope this story ends up with Kermit and Piggy hitched with no problems (therefore, without a hitch, haha). Love the play on words Ru.

    Totally excited for more, post more soon please, and have a great day!
  5. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Active Member

  6. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Is coming, is coming, I'm writing, I'm writing! :p
  7. AnimatedC9000

    AnimatedC9000 Well-Known Member

    I was wondering when this would be updated! I'll be waiting for the update.

    ~ AnimatedC
  8. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    The purple dreadlocked Muppet ducked down and darted behind a wall. He held the gun in his shaking hand as a nervous bead of sweat rolled down his cheek. Out of his sunglasses he tried to peer around the corner of the wall without being seen.

    Movement.

    Clifford jumped out from behind the wall and pulled the trigger on his gun, narrowly missing the moving target.

    His target had disappeared. He looked around carefully, his head not moving, any slight movement could give away his position and be, potentially, fatal.

    The air escaped from Clifford’s lungs as an arm wrapped around his throat and another around his stomach. He felt the breath of the person on the back of his neck. He gulped and tried to hold firm to his gun.

    “Get back behind the wall,” the voice whispered, almost too quiet to hear, even from the distance the voice was from Clifford’s ear. The body of the voice released its grip on Clifford.

    He spun around in a whirl, sending his dreadlocks everywhere. He pointed his gun straight between the glasses of Skeeter, Scooter’s twin sister who was identical in every way except for the length of their hair. Clifford sighed audibly. “Oh good, it’s just you, Skeet, I thought it was—“ Clifford started to say, forgetting to whisper.

    Skeeter darted forward and tackled Clifford to the floor. She rolled off her boyfriend, grabbing his gun out of his hand. On her side, she began firing the two guns randomly in front of her as the sounds of other gun shots hitting the wall above them filled the air.

    “Behind the wall!” Skeeter shouted at Clifford, who scrambled to crawl back to his hiding place. Skeeter rolled, log style, towards the wall where Clifford was hiding; still firing the guns.

    “Way to go, meat head,” she told Clifford angrily. “You gave away our position!”

    Clifford stood up and pried his gun from Skeeter’s hand. “It’s your fault for sneaking up on me like that,” he muttered.

    “I heard that,” Skeeter hissed, by now nearly breaking the trigger of her gun. “Let’s not start this ‘women are always in the wrong’ thing again.”

    “It ended well last time,” Clifford said, now firing his gun in the direction of the sound of the other guns.

    Skeeter turned around quickly, putting her gun at Clifford’s chest. If he weren’t wearing sunglasses, the shock in his eyes would’ve been more than apparent. “One shot and I can just end it once and for all,” Skeeter said irritably.

    Clifford threw his arms into the air. “It’s just a game, Skeet,” he said.

    “This is no game,” Skeeter said, returning her gun to firing position. “This is war!”

    Clifford shook his head and pulled his laser gun around the corner, firing blindly at whatever he could hit (which wasn’t much).

    Floyd Pepper fell to the ground underneath a laser flying over his head. Janice ducked around a few to come to his side. “Like, are you hit?” asked the valley girl.

    Floyd shook his head, his huge orange mustache shaking with it as he laughed off his fall. “Yeah baby, I’m good,” Floyd said, grabbing Janice’s hand to be helped up. “I don’t think there’s any beatin’ Skeeter though.”

    Janice nodded, her ponytail bobbing with her head. “Should we, like, just surrender?” she asked, looking around at Skeeter and Clifford firing in the totally wrong direction.

    Floyd shrugged. “We could,” he said, “but Gonzo already thought the object of the game was to get hit, so we might as well give them some competition.”

    Janice sighed. “Like, okay, but I’m like, totally not firing this Neanderthal-ish thing,” she said, tossing her gun behind her back.”

    Meanwhile, in the already-having-been-shot room, The Great Gonzo sat watching out the two-way mirror watching the laser tag battle ensue, his protruding nose pressing up against the glass. He sighed. “Oh Camilla,” he said, “that gun shot was not nearly as painful as I expected it to be.”

    Camilla the Chicken (who was, in fact, a chicken) strutted up to Gonzo and pushed her way under his arm, laying her head on his chest. “Brawk bawk baw,” she clucked serenely.

    “Yeah, yeah,” he agreed, “time with you is great, but I just wish it could’ve been a more painful experience for me!”

    Camilla’s eyes grew frustrated. “Brawk bawk bawk,” she clucked crossly.

    “It could?” Gonzo asked, wide-eyed with excitement. “How?”

    Camilla pecked viciously at Gonzo’s chest and walked off heatedly to the other side of the room.

    Gonzo fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard. “I never knew being hen-pecked could be so much fun!” he cackled wildly.

    Camilla turned around with her wings crossed across her chest and huffed. Gonzo sat up rubbing his head, still chuckling. “Don’t get steamed, honey,” Gonzo told Camilla. “You’ll start to smell like thirty-seven herbs and spices.”

    Camilla’s face became as twisted as a chicken’s face could before letting out a long laugh. She walked over to Gonzo and nuzzled her beak against him.

    Gonzo put his arm around her and stood up from the floor. He glanced out at the battlefield. “I wonder how much longer they’ll be,” he said.

    “Brawk?” Camilla asked.

    “I wonder how much more alone time we have,” he said, his moving eyelids speaking more than his words.

    Camilla clucked helplessly, lost in the words of Gonzo’s eyelids (or something like that). Gonzo dipped the chick down and went in for the mouth to beak contact.

    The door to the already-having-been-shot room burst open. Gonzo’s hands flew out from under Camilla and she fell to the floor. She jumped up, extremely angry and began clucking around, sending feathers flying. “Sorry…” Gonzo told her quietly.

    Skeeter stomped into the room, not making eye contact with anyone. She threw her gun and target pad into the deposit bin and stormed out the door without a word.

    Clifford, Floyd, and Janice filed in after her, Floyd’s arm wrapped tightly around Janice’s shoulder.

    “It’s alright baby, it was an accident,” Floyd said, rubbing Janice’s arm.

    “I—I like, totally didn’t mean to,” she said. “I was just, like, trying to hand you your gun Floyd, I didn’t know that was the trigger!”

    Clifford chuckled and shook his head. “It’s just a game, Janice,” he said.

    “But, like, Skeeter looked rully beat up about it,” Janice said, trying not to break down.

    Clifford smiled. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “That’s how Skeet is, she’ll get over it eventually.”

    “Yeah,” Gonzo said as he and Camilla walked up to the group. “If she could get over Clifford saying all women are wrong all the time, this should be a cake walk while on stilts that are slowly being melted by flaming hot honey mustard.”

    Floyd blinked. “Right,” he said. “C’mon, baby, let’s go get some ice cream.”

    “Yeah, we are at Eric’s Eighty-Eight Flavors of Ice Cream Plus Laser Tag Emporium,” Clifford said, “as winner you get a free scoop.”

    “But, like, it’ll totally be earned in violence,” Janice said meekly.

    “How else do you earn something?” Gonzo asked.

    Janice squirmed beneath Floyd’s arm. “I, like, don’t think I want the cone…”

    “Can I have it then?” Gonzo asked. “I’m suddenly in the mood for flaming honey mustard flavor.”

    The others ignored Gonzo as they walked out of the already-having-been-shot room.

    “Yeah,” Gonzo said desperately trying to be recognized, “you’ve gotta eat it really fast before it melts itself, that’s the fun of it!”
  9. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hey... Can I have some of that flaming honey mustard ice cream too? Either that or whatever you use to inspire yourself to write this brilliant stuff. *Applauds. More please?
  10. AnimatedC9000

    AnimatedC9000 Well-Known Member

    I LOVE this chapter! Everyone, I believe, is well in-character, especially Gonzo (when ISN'T he in-character?) and Janice (I like her non-violent ways).

    *hugs Prawnie* Great chapter! I can't wait for more!

    ~ AnimatedC
  11. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    That was such a fun chapter! I love laser tag! It's so much fun! Nice interaction with all the couples, I was wondering when we'd get around to seeing them this time. Can't wait to read more!
  12. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    The marshy swamp-land of Leland, Mississippi was not bustling.

    Nor was it chirping, croaking, chirping, or any other onomatopoeia.

    The swamp was quiet.

    Mostly because the Leland post office was not.

    The entire frog population of the swamp had taken a road-trip by foot into the town of Leland to get the mail. It started out as only two older frogs, one older male with a cane and dark green complexion and an affinity for clumps, the other an older woman with a glowing smile and a lighter green skin tone. The two walked hand in hand down the old dirt road and into the town, coming to paved roads and brick buildings.

    However, the group did not stay that small. As the two frogs exited the bushes of the swamp and onto the dirt road, a scatting green horsefly buzzed up them. (A brave deed for a horsefly if the frogs were hungry.) The deep-voiced country fly greeted the frogs and they smiled and returned his greeting. He asked where they were going, they told him, and he asked to tag along.

    So the two frogs and the horsefly carried on their journey into Leland.

    Once they reached the post office and discovered in the mail a letter from Kermit (and Robin), the horsefly shouted excitedly and darted out the door to go alert the rest of the swamp.

    The two elderly frogs knew the drill; they smiled at each other and left the post office for the bench sitting outside it. They sat on it together and sifted through their other mail, leaving the letter from Kermit distinctly unopened.

    Within minutes Leland was flooded with frogs of all shape and size. Hundreds—no, thousands of frogs had filled the town, all croaking with delight at the prospect of a new letter from Kermit.

    A young female frog pushed her way to the front of the crowd (literally), pulling behind her a blue frog with a permanent smirk across his face. “Hey mom,” said the girl frog to the elderly woman frog. “Mit sent a letter?” she asked.

    “Yes, and it was sent first class,” said the older woman. “It must be important.”

    “Well what’re you waiting for?” asked the girl frog. “Open it up and let’s hear what he has to say!”

    “Prob’ly just somethin’ about that weddin’ of his,” said the blue frog.

    The horsefly flew in out of nowhere and landed on the blue frog’s shoulder. “That weddin’? Hoo-ey, that weddin’ of his is makin’ the tabloids everywhere. I’d say it’s a little more important than just that weddin’!”

    The blue frog shrugged. “Whatever,” he said.

    The older man frog with a cane picked up the letter from his son Kermit and began to open it. The sound of the broken envelope seal silenced the crowd of frogs instantly. He cleared his throat calmly and then unfolded the letter. He glanced over the beginning of the letter and sighed.

    “What? What’s wrong with my Kermit?” asked the older woman frog frantically.

    The older man frog chuckled. “It’s nothing, he just listed out all of our names again,” he said with a smile.

    “Well skip that part,” said the younger female frog. “Just get to the good stuff!”

    The older man frog began to read from the letter. “Hi-ho everyone,” he read. “How’s it going? My hands will probably be dysfunctional by the time you open this letter after having written all of those names. Robin says his probably will be too. Anyway, I just thought I’d write to check in on you and tell you that we’re all doing well. Still all very excited for the wedding, hoping to come up with an official date soon.

    “But on a more important matter (I need this part to be addressed to Croaker and Maggie, dad),” Kermit’s father, James the Frog, did not read the part in the parentheses aloud, “I’d like to invite you to come be an early part of the wedding. Croaker I’d be honored if you’d come and be one of my groomsmen, and Maggie, you’re not gonna believe this (I didn’t at first either) but Miss Piggy would like you to be her maid of honor.”

    Maggie, the younger female frog, and Croaker, the blue frog, both gasped. “Alright, I knew Kermit wouldn’t leave me out!” Croaker said.

    “Oh gosh,” Maggie muttered. “I kinda wish Piggy would’ve left me out…”

    James the Frog shook his head and continued reading. “Hope to see you soon! Call me whenever you can to let me know when you’ll be coming up. Thanks and lots of love, Kermit and Robin.”

    Next to James, Jane the Frog, Kermit’s mother and James’ wife smiled. “Well that was lovely,” she said.

    “Yeah,” called a light green toad with large glasses from the crowd. “It was so nice of Kermit to invite us all to help out early!”

    “Goggles what’re you talkin’ about,” Croaker asked the toad. “Kermit just invited me and Maggie.”

    “Nuh uh!” said a burly light brown bullfrog. “The letter said I’d like to invite you, it never said who you was, so it must mean all of us!”

    “Blotch is right, sonny,” said a crotchety old woman frog, puce in skin tone. “My Kermie would most certainly have invited all of us. Not just you.”

    After a few minutes of arguing back and forth (mostly between Croaker, Aunt Marge, and Blotch the Bullfrog) it was decided that yes, Kermit did want everyone to come. It was also decided that train fare for everyone would be way too expensive, so only about a hundred of them would go now, the rest of the swamp could just come up for the wedding.

    “We’d better call him,” Jane said to James.

    James nodded, he was too happy with this accidental event to really ponder anything. He could’ve easily addressed the fact that that section of the letter was only addressed to Croaker and Maggie, but he decided his son needed more time with this clump.

    Jane, James, Croaker, and Maggie went to the nearest pay phone while the rest of the frogs returned home to the swamp. Jane dialed her son and he picked up on the other end of the phone. “Hi-ho, Muppet Boarding House. Kermit speaking.”

    “Hello dear,” Jane said into the receiver.

    “Mom!” Kermit shouted. “Oh it’s so good to hear from you! How are you? How’s everyone?”

    “I’m just fine, Kermit, everyone is just fine,” she said. “We just got your letter.”

    “Oh—oh great!” Kermit said.

    “Mm-hm,” Jane said. “Here, I’ll let you talk to Maggie.”

    Maggie took the phone from her mom. “Mit, I can’t believe Piggy’s making me her maid of honor!”

    Kermit laughed. “I can’t either, Mags! I swear I had nothing to do with it! It surprised me just as much as you.”

    “I’m sure,” Maggie said sarcastically. “Anyway, when do you want us to come?”

    “Catch the next train, I say,” Kermit said. “Robin and I will come pick you up.”

    “Works for me,” she said. “Mom, dad, we’re getting on the next train!”

    Jane gasped. “Oh, my, that’s soon! We’ll have to go get tickets for everyone soon, James.”

    James nodded. “We’ll go do that now, Maggie. Tell Kermit that the next train leaves Saturday and should arrive on Sunday.”

    “You got it dad,” Maggie said. “Mit… see ya Sunday!”
  13. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Certainly hope it doesn't take that long for another update. BTW: Thankees Prawny.
    *Handshake. We miss you Jim.
  14. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    ...

    ....

    .....

    .....<GLOMP!>

    <points at Prawnie> I love this prawn. Here y'go, dear, have a muffin. Because THAT <points at latest Jitter> ...Is wonderful. And it makes me feel all smiley inside. And now, for some reason, I think I'm getting a mosquitoe craving, so if you'll excuse me... (...Maybe I've been spending TOO much time with the the Frogs? ...It's not MY fault Mom the Frog makes great chocolate-covered mosquitoes... <ahem>)

    MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
  15. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    I love the family dynamics going on here! It's good old froggy fun!
  16. AnimatedC9000

    AnimatedC9000 Well-Known Member

    Yay, the family's invited!

    And were those Muppeteer and MC members that I saw earlier?
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Yep. Muppeteer and MC friends are often frog names for Kermit's family, check Swamp Call and/or Getting Swamped for further examples.
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    "Grover, I just don't think that's what Kermit--"

    "Did he not say we will talk about flying you out to California?"

    "Well, yes, he did, but--"

    "Well are you not you?" Grover asked Maria.

    "Yes, Grover, I am me, but--" Maria started.

    "And Gordon, are you not you?" Grover asked Gordon.

    Gordon sighed. "Yes, Grover, yes."

    "Mm-hm," Gover said. "Bob, are you not you?" Grover asked.

    "Yes, Grover," Bob said, rubbing his forehead in annoyance.

    "Elmo things Grover is right," Elmo said.

    Cookie Monster licked his fingers after devouring a jar of cookies in Hooper's Store. "Me think so too," he said. "Me think frog want us all to come--and all to eat his cookies!"

    Luis looked at Maria, who shrugged. "Grover does have a point," she said.

    Hooper's Store was crowded all of the Sesame Street residents either inside or out on the veranda, all of them arguing about the meaning of Kermit's letter.

    "We could just call Kermit and ask him," Susan said.

    "Oh, good idea, Susan," Zoe said.

    "Si, asking questions is a great way to find out things you do not know," Rosita said.

    Alan pulled out the phone from under the counter and pushed it towards Gordon. Gordon picked up the receiver and dialed a number. Then he pressed a button with a speaker on it and layed the phone back on the counter. The ringing of the phone could be heard now thanks to the speakerphone.

    "Oh, I'm so excited," Big Bird said. "I love talking to Kermit."

    "Hello, Muppet Boarding House here," said a voice sounding something like Bert's. "Fozzie Bear, here not there! Wocka! Wocka!"

    "Hi Fozzie," Gordon said. "It's Gordon, from Sesame Street."

    "And Big Bird!" Big Bird called out.

    "Grover is here as well!" Grover said.

    "Elmo is here too, mister Fozzie!"

    "Me here too. You have cookies?"

    "Ernie's here too!"

    "And Bert!"

    "Can we quit introducing ourselves and get on with this?" Oscar asked.

    "Hi there, erm... everyone!" Fozzie said. "I bet you want to talk to Kermit, don't you?"

    "That would be great, Fozzie," Bob said.

    "Oh, well, um, he's not here," Fozzie said. "I'm sorry."

    "Well maybe you can help us, Fozzie," Maria said.

    "I'm sure I could at least come up with the bear minimum," Fozzie said. "Ahh! Get it?"

    "Oh, I do!" Baby Bear said. "That's vewy funny!"

    Telly slapped his forehead. "Oh good grief."

    "Anyway Fozzie," Luis said. "Kermit sent us a letter about all of us coming for the wedding, we were just a little confused about--"

    "Oh--oh, the wedding! Yeah, yeah! Kermit told me he wanted all of you guys to come!" Fozzie said. "I should know, I am the best man."

    "Or best bear, as it may be," Baby Bear said.

    "Ahh! Right!" Fozzie said happily.

    "So he does want us all there?" Alan asked.

    "Of cours he does!" Fozzie said. "Kermit loves you guys!"

    "Yuck," Oscar groaned. "I hate this wedding already..."

    "I don't!" Big Bird said happily. "I love it! Hey, Snuffy, we're going to California!"

    Snuffy laughed happily. "Oh boy!"

    Maria, Luis, Gordon, Susan, Bob, Alan, and Gina all exchanged looks and shrugged. "I guess we are going to California."

    "Yay!" Elmo cheered. "Sesame Street is going to California!"

    "Yeah, yeah," Fozzie said. "We all can't wait to see you!"

    Grover moved up to the phone receiver and spoke directly to the speaker. "Hello Fozzie, tell Froggy baby that I, Grover, will be on the next flight to see him, okay?"

    "You betcha!" Fozzie said. "Umm... who's Froggy baby?"

    "Oh, why, it is Kermit!" Grover exclaimed. "You should be sure to call him that, he just loves it!"

    "Ahh! I'll have to remember that!" Fozzie said.

    Gordon shook his head. "Thanks Fozzie," he said. "We'll see you all soon."

    "No problem! See you!" Fozzie said, hanging up the phone.

    Ernie tapped Bert on the shoulder. "You hear that, Bert? We're going to California!" Ernie said.

    "Yes, Ernie, I heard," Bert said. "I was standing here the whole time."

    "Oh yeah, well do you think they have glue for your loose nose in California?" Ernie asked, grabbing Bert's nose and pulling it off his face.

    Bert's eyebrow lowered and his expression turned to a scowl. "Ernie!"

    Oscar rolled his eyes. "Maybe I can find a nice garbage barge to move to out in Calfornia," he muttered.

    ~-~-~-~-~

    Fozzie smiled and moved away from the phone. "Oh, Kermit is going to be so glad to hear that Grover's coming soon." The beat turned around and straightened his hat and tie in the hall mirror. "Yup, and everyone else from Sesame Street is excited about coming whenever the wedding ends up being," Fozzie said, not realizing that all of Sesame Street was coming--and soon. "Now... where's that penguin with the cue cards? I need him to hold up those cards that say 'LAUGH,' that's genius..."
  19. AnimatedC9000

    AnimatedC9000 Well-Known Member

    CHAOS! CONFUSION! HILARITY! All in one chapter!

    But that was just a given fact.

    Beware, Muppet Boarding House, of the Sesame Street gang!

    ~ AnimatedC
  20. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Ha... Wait... "The beat straightened his tie and hat"? All this time, I thought Fozzie was a bear. Oh well. Live and learn.
    *Leaves Prawny to the mercy of the rest of the naggers with nary a lifeline tieing him up to the roofedge fixtures.

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