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The corny joke thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kiki, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. Vincent Liu

    Vincent Liu Well-Known Member

    How many people does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One to hold the lightbulb, and two to turn the ladder.
  2. ZeppoAndFriends

    ZeppoAndFriends Well-Known Member

    How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One. He holds the bulb in place and the world revolves around him.
    Bannanasketch likes this.
  3. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    I was at the chiropractor today, and this old lady who goes everyweek as well shed some insight with us...

    Everyone in the fitness room got onto the subject of birthdays, and the old lady asked us all how many birthdays the average person has; we all gave out our guesses, like 72, 74, 77, I guessed 79, so she told us, "The average person has only one birthday, all the others are just reminders."
  4. Vincent Liu

    Vincent Liu Well-Known Member

    :mad:: "Bacon?! HAI-YA!"
    miss kermie likes this.
  5. Vincent Liu

    Vincent Liu Well-Known Member

    I'm not American, so can someone explain why blondes are stupid and Chuck Norris is dumb?
    (or I won't want to know the answer...)
  6. Sgt Floyd

    Sgt Floyd Well-Known Member

    Er...where did you get we think Chuck Norris is dumb? He's become a meme about how great he is :/
  7. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    The idea that blondes are dumb has some kind of deep, hidden socialogical explanation...

    Apparently, it has something to do with the more attraction something or someone has, the less intelligence they have, and at some point in time, blondes were considered the ultimate beauties, so therefore, I guess that would also ensue that they're also the biggest dummies.
  8. Vincent Liu

    Vincent Liu Well-Known Member

    Sgt Floyd: don't know, I just do.
    D'Snowth: that seems plausible.
  9. Sgt Floyd

    Sgt Floyd Well-Known Member

    well I never heard that one. I personally think all the Chuck Norris Memes are dumb, but as for him...*shrugs* I'm indifferent :p
  10. Vincent Liu

    Vincent Liu Well-Known Member

    I don't even know who Chuck Norris is.
    Maybe it's the jokes that's weird, instead of Chuck Norris.
  11. Bannanasketch

    Bannanasketch Active Member

    What's red and smells like blue paint?

    Red paint.
    miss kermie likes this.
  12. Vincent Liu

    Vincent Liu Well-Known Member

    Why was a war started when a waiter dropped a tray of food?

    China broke, Turkey fell, and Greece was all over the floor.
  13. MuppetSpot2

    MuppetSpot2 Well-Known Member

    whats a ghost favorite lunch
  14. Mary Louise

    Mary Louise Active Member

    What did Bert say when he wanted to order oatmeal?

    “Please, porridge, hot!”
  15. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    Chuck Norris, star of Walker, Texas Ranger, who also practices Tang Soo Do,
    Tae Kwon Do, and Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, was invited to be the master of ceremonies at the grand opening of a new museum dedicated to memorabilia, paintings, statues, etc., paying tribute to real and fictitious Western law enforcement figures such as Wyatt Earp, Matt Dillon, famous sheriffs, etc.

    When the opening ceremony began, Chuck Norris said: "Ladies and gentlemen,
    it gives me great pleasure to cut the ribbon and officially open the Marshalls' Art Gallery
    to the public."
  16. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    What does a cat take for indigestion?

    Meow-ka Seltzer!
  17. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    What do you get if you breed a Pit Bull and a Rottweiler?

    A rabies vaccination shot!
  18. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    Why does Popeye the Sailor's pipe go "Toot, toot" at the end of each cartoon?

    It's a side effect from the spinach.
  19. lady piggy

    lady piggy Well-Known Member

    What did the ocean say to the river
    Nothing it just waved
  20. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    :o: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    It felt like taking a "wocka-wocka" to the other side!
    Muppet fan 123 likes this.

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