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The corny joke thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kiki, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. lady piggy

    lady piggy Well-Known Member

    What did the ocean say to the river
    Nothing it just waved
     
  2. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    :o: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    It felt like taking a "wocka-wocka" to the other side!
     
    Muppet fan 123 likes this.
  3. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    :sleep:: I don't get it.....
    :boo:: That joke was as pointless as a broken pencil!
     
    ElizaSchuyler likes this.
  4. snichols1973

    snichols1973 Well-Known Member

    Knock knock!

    Who's there?

    Catch.

    Catch who?

    Gesundheit!
     
  5. ZeppoAndFriends

    ZeppoAndFriends Well-Known Member

    Two men walk into a bar...you think one of them would've seen it.
     
  6. Teheheman

    Teheheman Well-Known Member

    Did you hear about the circus fire?
    It was IN-TENTS!!

    Daniel
     
    DrDientes likes this.
  7. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office and says, "Nobody listens to me!", and the psychiatrist said, "Next!"
     
    Oscarfan likes this.
  8. lady piggy

    lady piggy Well-Known Member

    I’m a hard act to follow, because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me. Lol
     
    Dominicboo1 likes this.
  9. Oscarfan

    Oscarfan Well-Known Member

    A really great one I heard tonight:

    Why do ghosts like elevators?

    It lifts their spirits.
     
    ZeppoAndFriends likes this.
  10. ZeppoAndFriends

    ZeppoAndFriends Well-Known Member

    Why did two chickens cross the road?

    They were part of a three-legged-race.
     
  11. FunnyBear

    FunnyBear Active Member

    Knock, Knock
    Who's There?
    Dishes.
    Dishes Who?
    Dishes me open the door!
     
  12. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Read this on Facebook today... it's funny, 'cause it's true:

    "If Obama came out in support of oxygen, Republicans would suffocate."
     
  13. Mo Frackle

    Mo Frackle Well-Known Member

    How many ears does Spock have?
    The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.

    What did one bean say to the other bean?
    "How you bean?".

    What did the policeman say to his bellybutton?
    "You're under a vest".

    How much does a hipster weigh?
    An instagram.
     
    ZeppoAndFriends likes this.
  14. StevieOpossum

    StevieOpossum Active Member

    What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
    "Where's popcorn?"

    What do ya call a bear without teeth?
    A gummy bear.

    Why are musicians so cool?
    Because they have so many fans.

    And now for one of the worst jokes I've ever heard...

    What do ya call a room without walls?
    A mushroom ( :sigh: )
     
  15. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    If a dog gives birth to her puppies in a public place, can she get arrested for littering?
     
    dwayne1115 likes this.
  16. dwayne1115

    dwayne1115 Well-Known Member

    Knock Knock!
    Who's there?

    Dwayne!

    Dwayne who?

    Dwayne the bath tub I'm drowning!

    There I said it and no one else can now!
     
  17. Mo Frackle

    Mo Frackle Well-Known Member

    What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving?
    Twerkey.

    Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
    Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

    What do you say when you see a spaceman?
    Park it in, man.

    What did the wall say to the ceiling?
    I'll meet you at the corner.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?
    Because she had no arms.
    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Not Sally!
     
    ElizaSchuyler likes this.
  18. cjd874

    cjd874 Well-Known Member

    A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a bottle of Heineken. He asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

    Then the neutron's friend, the proton, walks up to the bar and asks for a shot of whiskey, a shot of vodka, and a shot of rum. The bartender asks, "Are you sure?"
    The proton says, "Yes, I'm positive."
     
    Dominicboo1 likes this.
  19. Mo Frackle

    Mo Frackle Well-Known Member

    Why didn't the melons get married?
    Because they cantaloupe.
     
    Dominicboo1 and ElizaSchuyler like this.
  20. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Here's an original, from yours truly:

    Sure, a lot of kids see Mommy kissing Santa Claus, and what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had seen it, I'm sure.

    What I'm more concerned about, however, is... how does Santa explain kissing all those Mommies to Mrs. Claus?
     


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