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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kiki, Dec 3, 2006.
What did the ocean say to the river
Nothing it just waved
: Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like taking a "wocka-wocka" to the other side!
: I don't get it.....
: That joke was as pointless as a broken pencil!
Two men walk into a bar...you think one of them would've seen it.
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was IN-TENTS!!
A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office and says, "Nobody listens to me!", and the psychiatrist said, "Next!"
I’m a hard act to follow, because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me. Lol
A really great one I heard tonight:
Why do ghosts like elevators?
It lifts their spirits.
Why did two chickens cross the road?
They were part of a three-legged-race.
Dishes me open the door!
Read this on Facebook today... it's funny, 'cause it's true:
"If Obama came out in support of oxygen, Republicans would suffocate."
How many ears does Spock have?
The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
"How you bean?".
What did the policeman say to his bellybutton?
"You're under a vest".
How much does a hipster weigh?
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
What do ya call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why are musicians so cool?
Because they have so many fans.
And now for one of the worst jokes I've ever heard...
What do ya call a room without walls?
A mushroom ( )
If a dog gives birth to her puppies in a public place, can she get arrested for littering?
Dwayne the bath tub I'm drowning!
There I said it and no one else can now!
What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving?
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
What do you say when you see a spaceman?
Park it in, man.
What did the wall say to the ceiling?
I'll meet you at the corner.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a bottle of Heineken. He asks, "How much will it cost?"
The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
Then the neutron's friend, the proton, walks up to the bar and asks for a shot of whiskey, a shot of vodka, and a shot of rum. The bartender asks, "Are you sure?"
The proton says, "Yes, I'm positive."
Why didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Here's an original, from yours truly:
Sure, a lot of kids see Mommy kissing Santa Claus, and what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had seen it, I'm sure.
What I'm more concerned about, however, is... how does Santa explain kissing all those Mommies to Mrs. Claus?
Separate names with a comma.