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Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Fan Art' started by PuppyLuver, Dec 1, 2007.
Thanks. *hugs back* I needed that.
PuppyLuver Studios presents
The Scoop of the Century
Chapter 7: Into the Labyrinth
You remind me of the babe.
Okay, I’ll quit while I’m ahead. XD
Um... who wants muffins?
“Oh, god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. We’re all gonna die. We’re all gonna die!"
The Orb Retrievers had made it to the next world. Everyone was on edge from their close call, but Jess had definitely come out worse than any of them. She had been heavily panicking for at least a half hour. “Why are you spazzing so bad?" Web asked, back in her normal bird form. “We made it out of there alive, at least. It could’ve been worse!"
“I didn’t think it was real...” Jess murmured. “I thought it was like campfire stories... just something that guy made up to give people a nice, healthy scare...” No one knew what she was talking about, except maybe the readers of this story. But they would not be able to properly explain it, nor would I, so it would have to remain a mystery until the proper time.
In any case, the Orb Retrievers had reached their final destination, so to speak. They were just outside the Labyrinth. Dimentio was busy scanning the outside walls for the entrance. “Okay, I know it’s here somewhere," he muttered to himself. He ran his hand along the cracks of the brick wall, looking for something. Soon, his finger ran across a sort of runic inscription on an oddly colored brick. “Bingo!" He pressed the inscription, causing the brick to sink into the wall. A bodiless voice spoke. “Whoa, hold it!” the voice exclaimed. “Not just ANYBODY can come through this entrance! Crazy Redd has to make sure you’re on the level with our group, meaning you have to tell me the secret password! When I say ‘Even robbers...’” The voice paused, waiting for an answer.
“‘Have safes’," Dimentio replied. This made all the bricks of that portion of the wall move, opening a doorway into the Labyrinth. He made his way through the newly opened passage. “Well, are you coming or staying?" he asked everyone. They all made their way in after him, though Jess was grumbling about the stupid fox that sold her a fake painting. After they were all in, the doorway closed back up.
Meanwhile, Fozzie had pulled Misty away from the others(but not too far away). “Misty," he said. “In case we get separated in here... there’s something I wanna tell you.”
“What is it?" asked Misty.
Fozzie took in a deep breath. “Okay, so this man is making a brick wall.” Apparently, what he wanted to tell her was a joke. Go figure. “He runs out of bricks half-way through, see? And he goes over to his friend, who sells bricks. His friend tells him he can give him a lot of bricks for free, but they’re all pink. The man thinks, whatever, the color doesn’t matter, I just need to get this wall finished. So he finishes the wall with all the pink bricks and he has one left. He doesn’t know what to do with the last pink brick, so he just throws it.”
Misty was confused. “I don’t get it," she said. “Where’s the funny part?"
Fozzie smiled. “This one’s a two-parter," he replied. “When we get through all of this, I’ll tell you the second part. Okay, Misty?"
So they began to make their way through the Labyrinth. Thanks to Dimentio’s expertise/obsession, they all made it through the first bit okay. Suddenly, something bad happened. Stardust collapsed for no reason. “Oh my gosh!" Shooting Star screamed. “Is he all right?"
Dimentio rushed over to his Sableye, a strange look of fear in his eyes. Jess recognized that look. She had seen it every time she had been separated from her mother for long periods of time or when she got hurt. Parental panic.
“No...” Dimentio moaned. “He’s suffering from his world having been destroyed...”
“Anyone can survive in another world for as long as their lifespan will allow, as long as their world of origin is intact," Dimentio explained solemnly. “However, if a world is destroyed, all living essence originating from that world will vanish. Even if some inhabitants escape, they won’t survive for more than a few days at the most. They will simply cease to exist. Not dead, not alive. Nothing more than a lifeless rock.” He snapped his fingers, sending Stardust to Dimension D for some rest. The group pressed onward, not saying anything else for a long time.
“You know," Misty said after a while, “he didn’t have to put it so bluntly.”
“That’s Dimentio for you," Jess sighed, not noticing that her hair had turned a slight burgundy red...
“Uh-huh.” Web looked around. “The plants around here are very strange-looking," she said, “and also somewhat beautiful...”
Suddenly, Mimi screamed. “Eeek! Where’d everyone else go?" The only people in the area were Web, Misty, Mimi and Jess. Already, they had been separated form the main group. “I’m scared," Mimi said softly.
“It’s gonna be okay, Mimi," Jess told her. “We just hafta keep our hope close and our wits about us.” She thought for a bit, then took off her hat, revealing a plastic bowl and a piece of Styrofoam with a paperclip jammed in the middle. “And I have my own homemade compass! Anyone got any water?"
Soon, with a little bit of magic from the Water Orb, they were able to put Jess’s paperclip compass to work. The compass found the magnetic north of the Labyrinth, and Mimi was able to get a good view of where the center was by standing on Web’s head. They went in that direction as much as they could, making turns only when necessary. This worked for a while, but soon, around the time their feet started to hurt...
“Okay... we have a problem.” The magnetized end of the paperclip suddenly swerved away from the direction it had been pointing in and pointed itself straight at Jess. Jess turned around while holding it, but the compass continued to point straight at her. “Crap," she muttered. Then, to see if it was truly broken, she told Mimi to hold it for a while. As soon as the compass was passed off, the needle started to spin uncontrollably. “It’s broken!" Mimi shouted. Jess started to cry. “But... but... it was genius! My 8th grade history teacher said so himself! I got an A+ for that! Waaah! WAAAAAAAHHH!"
“Oh, are you gonna cry? Are ya gonna cry like a little baby? Waaah! Waaah!"
“Wh-who said that?"
The four girls were standing in front of what looked like a statue of a Hindu god, and not a very polite Hindu god, as it was scratching its rear end with one of its many arms. “Look," the statue said, “crybabies never make it through the Labyrinth. Only those who know what they’re doing can make it through. AND YOU KIDS DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW DIDDLY-SQUAT!"
“Actually, I’m over 18," Web said. “I’m technically not a kid.”
“Whatever.” The statue coughed harshly, then spit at the ground. “There’s a door right behind me. It leads toward the center of the Labyrinth, which I guess is where you’re headed. Problem is, I ain’t movin’, not unless each of you can solve one of my patented riddles.” The girls agreed to each attempt a riddle. “Alright, then. Up first, the little green girl.”
“Me?" Mimi asked uncertainly. “I dunno, I’ve never been good at riddles...”
The statue began. “Here it comes, little girl. Are you ready?"
“Good. Here’s your riddle. First think of a person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies. Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend, the middle of middle and the end of the end? And finally, give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard-to-find word. Now string me together and answer me this, which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?”
Jess scoffed. “No fair, she gets an easy one!"
“An... easy one?" Misty asked. “I didn’t understand a word of it.”
“It should be easy for her, anyway," Jess told her. “If she doesn’t get this, I’m seriously gonna reconsider putting in a good word for her in the Secret Society of Shapeshifters. Oops! I wasn’t supposed to let that secret out!"
Meanwhile, Mimi was still trying to figure out her riddle. “Hmm, it all adds up to a creature that’s totally unkissable... Well, no one would wanna kiss my true form...” Suddenly, her eyes brightened. “I got it! It’s a spider! A spider!"
“Hmph, smart kid," the statue said. Mimi jumped for joy. “Next, the crybaby. I’m talkin’ to you, Miss Secret Society of Shapeshifters!"
“Drat, he heard!" Jess walked up, ready to receive her riddle.
“All righty, here goes. What object is so fragile, even saying its name can break it?”
Jess laughed to herself. “I read that one in the school newspaper!" she bragged.
“Up next is the redhead," the statue said. Misty stepped forward. “What is the one thing that the more you take away from it, the bigger it gets?”
Misty thought hard. Memories flashed before her, one in particular being the instance when Zoot dropped Shirley, his lucky garbanzo bean, down a cicada exit hole in the back yard. He was so desperate to retrieve Shirley, he practically begged Bunsen to lend him a new digging machine the good doctor had recently invented. Zoot dug up the back yard with the efficiency and vigor of the most determined terrier dog, each day the whole and the piles of dirt growing bigger... “I got it!" she cried. “A hole!"
“Heh, looks like I’m up against my match here!" The statue turned to face Web. “Now it’s your turn, birdie.” Web gulped. The statue took a deep breath, signifying this would be a doozy. “Long ago, a horrible criminal was facing execution. The executioner offered him a chance to get out of his ordeal with a test. The criminal was to say a statement. If the executioner believed the statement to be true, the criminal would be hanged. If the statement was believed false, the criminal would be beheaded. If the executioner could not tell if the statement was true or false, the criminal would be set free. What would be best for the criminal to say so he could be released?”
Web didn’t know what to say. She was no good at riddles, that was what Errol was best at. But she was in no position to give up. She had to at least try. Suddenly, she figured it out. “The criminal said... that the executioner would... cut off his head! That way, if the executioner said it was true, he’s hang him, making it false! If the executioner said it was false, he’d behead him, making it true!"
“Lucky me," the statue said proudly. “I haven’t seen a group of such clever young people since who-knows-how-long. I hope we can meet again someday.” The statue smiled, and was slowly lifted into the skies, revealing the door. “Awesome!" Jess exclaimed, her hair now a cranberry red. “We rock! We rock so hard! Hi-five, guys!" They hi-fived and went through the door.
“Wow, now that we got past that, this Labyrinth seems much easier!" Web said.
“I know!" Mimi said. “We’re doing great!"
“Yeah!" Misty agreed. “This is a piece of cake!"
At that exact moment, the ground opened underneath the girls, dropping them into the darkness below.
Wow! An update! And at the Labyrinth no less. *Loves the GOF riddle reference. *Wonders why you couldn't have thrown in the classic bout man in there too. All good riddles. So how's about this one.
What question can you never answer "yes" to?
Hint: It's Bert's usual plague.
BTW: What's up with Jes's hair changing colors? Is that part of the homeworld being consumed by the Nothing from Never-Ending Story II?
Post more! And if you could, nudge Maddie to update hers too.
Yay! I used the sphinx riddle as a coy reference of some sort, the same reason I gave Mimi a Spinarak in the second chapter. ... I have no idea what the "classic bout man" is, sorry. ^^;
That riddle... I don't know that. *is thrown into the Gorge of Eternal Peril* AAAAHHH!
No, it's not being consumed by this Nothing you speak of. I've never seen any part of the Never-Ending Story saga(though I did see Homestar's Never-Ending Soda). Since my character's a shapeshifter, her hair color could be seen as something similar to an energy gauge. When it's the normal dark brown color, she's in peak condition(at least, for her). As it gets lighter, it's a sign that she's not doing so good. It's related to Stardust's collapse early in this chapter...
Maddie's told me she's been having problems with her account. It's acting like she never fully activated it. Something screwy in the system, maybe...?
1 The classic Sphinx riddle, posed by the Theban Sphinx ( a female Sphinx with head of a woman, body of a lion/lioness, and wings to fly):
What creature is it that walks on all fours in the morning, on two in the middle of the day, and on three at night?
Man; all fours in the morning of its life when it is a baby, two in the afternoon when it has grown to walk upright, and on all three at night when it is old and needs a walking stick.
2 Figured her hair changing was linked to Stardust's condition, that's what I sort of refered to.
3 The Nothing... Never-Ending Story... You must rent those movies!
4 Yes, that's because Maddie's account is tied to an aol.com account. There was an upgrade made to the boards, and a thread posted in Feedback... All aol.com members have to change their email addresses to a different system like yahoo.com or gmail.ccom. She needs to change her addy, then update her profile info, and all will be okay-dokay for her to post again.
Thanks... Post more soonish.
Ohhh. I see.
I really should rent it sometime, it sounds good... That doesn't mean I'll say no to some Never-Ending Soda, though. XD
I'll tell her!
I've noticed that I've really let this story grow dust/mold/other signs of stagnation all over it. I'm changing that. Expect a new chapter sometime before Christmas, at best.
*Smile. Good, we needed an update. And you'll note this, along with other works of wonderful fiction are in the library index thread... A handy one-stop place to find most fave fics.
PuppyLuver Studios presents
The Scoop of the Century
Chapter 8: Piece of Cake!
Augh, no! Mirror room! I hate mirror rooms!
At least, I hate mirror rooms in video games.
Before you ask about Misty’s first line in this chapter, no, I have never seen Fight Club. I’m just continuing that oh-so-overused joke.
Dang! I really need to update more often.
“Web! Where are you, Web?”
“Yo, Misty! If you can hear us, give us a shout-out!”
“Mimi!” “Lil miss! Where’d yeh go?”
“Are you out there, Jess?”
Cries similar to these cried out from the outer parts of the Labyrinth. The group had been split, which was not good at all. It was always best for a large group to stay together in the Labyrinth, but sometimes these things just can’t be helped. Well, I could bring the group back together real quick, but that would make for a really crappy story. Anyways, four of the group’s members had found themselves in a dark underground pit...
“Ugh, my head...” Jess muttered. “Who had the bright idea to drop us down here...?” Mimi, always the tattletale, pointed at Misty. Jess sighed. “Okay, Misty,” she said, “first rule of the Labyrinth...”
“Don’t talk about the Labyrinth?”
“No. Don’t get cocky. Once you think it’s getting really easy... WHAM! Something unexpected and really, really bad happens. You learn to see these things coming after you’ve seen the movie a few dozen times...”
Mimi tilted her head like a confused puppy. “Wait, does that mean you’re an obsessed Bowie fan, too?” she asked.
Jess scoffed. “Heck no!” she protested. “I’m a MuppetNut. Huge difference.”
“That’s great,” Web said, “but do you know where we are?” They all looked around. There was seemingly nothing in the room but the darkness surrounding them. And not the warm kind of darkness, like the bedroom of a scared child’s parents. It was the creepy kind of darkness, the kind you imagine hideous beasts crawling out of or the kind in which you could easily stub your toe on something because your visibility is limited. Suddenly, two bright lights shone in their direction, temporarily blinding them. “Alright,” said a voice accompanying the lights, “who got cocky? Who’s the one who said something was a piece of c-a-k-letter-that-begins-the-word-elephant?”
Mimi, always the tattletale, pointed at Misty again. “Hey!” shouted Misty. “That’s getting out of hand!” As the girls’ eyes adjusted to the sudden bright lights, they saw the lights were Dimentio’s glowing eyes. The rest of Dimentio was assumed to be there. “Misty...” Dimentio sighed. “Don’t you know the first rule of the Labyrinth?”
“Yeah, I know, don’t get cocky,” Misty said in a somewhat irritated tone.
“Actually, it’s ‘don’t talk about the Labyrinth’, but ‘don’t get cocky’ is another good one,” Dimentio replied. He looked around. “Wow. When it comes to oubliettes, Jareth has really outdone himself with this one...” He soon focused on one particular part of the wall, as if it had some significance. “Aha!” he exclaimed. He drew a rectangular shape on the wall with his hand, which then glowed and turned into a door. The five of them went through the door very hastily.
As they made their way through the underground tunnels, Web developed a burning curiosity about the seemingly evil jester. If Dimentio was so evil, why did he seem to care about them? Was he just hiding his feelings about the rest of the group, like Paul from the Pokémon Diamond and Pearl anime? She decided to ask him. As they came to a turn in the tunnel, she approached Dimentio, who was easy to make out because his eyes were still lit up to guide their way. “Uh, Dimentio?” Web asked. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You just asked one, but I can handle another,” Dimentio replied.
“Well, it’s just... everyone says you’re so evil, yet you came to look for us...” She couldn’t seem to find the right words. “Maybe... maybe you’re not so bad as everyone thinks?”
Dimentio laughed. “I didn’t come looking,” he said. “I knew exactly where you were! You can hardly call that coming to look for you. Of course, I didn’t know exactly who fell into the oubliette, I just knew someone did.” He looked around for another entryway. “Besides, I couldn’t just leave you in a nasty hole to rot...”
“You couldn’t...?” Maybe he does care... Web thought to herself.
“Of course not!” he replied. “You’re holding the Water Orb, you know. Can’t let that little bugger get away, now can we?”
Or maybe not. She shook her head in disbelief.
“Hey guys,” Misty said suddenly. “Look up ahead... I think I see myself in that room!”
She was half right. The room up ahead was a maze with walls completely made out of reflective glass. “Daah, crap,” Jess muttered. “It’s a mirror room. The bane of all videogame lovers.” She shrugged her shoulders, getting herself loosened in preparation for what she was about to do. “Okay, here I go. Sneaky maneuver coming right up.” All of a sudden, Jess began to change. She seemed to become more like smoke than a human girl, though her physique was changing to that of a full-grown woman. Her eyes darkened until they became pure black, her hair (which had by this point become the same color as every member of the Weasley family) lengthening and becoming the same color as her face, which was a sandy color. Her neck down was a dark gray color, smoky wisps near where her feet should be. “Alright!” Jess exclaimed, sounding more like a female version of the anime representation of Darkrai than herself. “I haven’t used Shade in a while, time to brush up on my ghost-like charms!” She walked straight through the mirror, giggling.
Dimentio scoffed angrily. “Cheater!” He turned to the other three. “Alright, for those of you who can’t shapeshift into a ghost-lady and walk through walls, follow me.”
“Wait a minute!” Misty shouted. “Why should we follow you? Who’s to say that you weren’t just being nice earlier because Jess was around? You could be leading us to our deaths! Or worse!”
“Hmm, let me think about that. What would I have to gain by betraying you?” Dimentio said sarcastically. “Oh, I know. Absolutely diddly-squat. Now come on, let’s go.” He led them down the left path, using his ability to light his eyes as a guide as to where they should go by checking reflections.
“Oh... what should I put now...?” a teenage girl sitting at her computer moaned. She sat in her Wii logo print shorts and 1-up shirt and pondered the outcome of the story. “Should I detail how they get through the maze? Maybe... cut to another group of characters...?” This was one of the most difficult decisions she had had to make recently. She had already set herself a deadline and she wanted to meet—no, exceed it. “Ah, screw this,” she finally mumbled. She decided to go ahead and get the mini-group to the end of the maze.
“Wow, that was quicker than I thought it would be!” Web said, surprised. They had finally gotten through the maze and had entered a forest-like area. Nearby, Jess was sitting in a lawn chair(one suspected she had transformed it from a log or something) drinking some sort of drink out of a blue-lidded Pokémon cup with a straw. Her hair was now an orange-blonde. “What took you guys so long?” she asked, sipping at her drink.
“We decided not to cheat,” Dimentio replied. “By the way, I like what you’ve done with your hair. It’s very eye-catching.”
Jess waggled her finger at him. “Butt-kissery will get you nowhere, Ziggy Crapforbrains,” she said tauntingly.
“Uh, Jess... I don’t think he meant it like that... your hair does look different...”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Jess looked in one of the mirrors from the maze... and screamed. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! What’s going on? I’m not a blonde! Have I been out in the sun too long? What’s happening to meeeeeee?”
“Maybe it’s the same thing that’s been happening to Stardust...?” Web suggested. Suddenly, a noise rang out through the trees. A sort of rhythmic, clicking noise. It was almost as if someone was trying to start a beat for a song... “What’s that sound...?”
Dimentio looked like he was going to be sick. “Oh no, it’s these crackpots...” he moaned. “Let’s just get out of here before—” Unfortunately, the “before” came sooner than he thought. A large, humanoid form with brilliant red fur around its neck and waist jumped from the thicket. It had a reptilian face and a long tail with a red tuft at the end. Four creatures similar to the first also appeared from behind the trees, all of them laughing madly for no apparent reason.
“Fireys!” Jess exclaimed. “Dorky McBowienut’s right, we should get out of here. Let’s use him as a meat shield so we can get past ‘em!”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Dimentio shouted. It was then that the Fireys spotted them. “Hey, look!” the lead Firey exclaimed. “It’s that purple guy!”
“I thought he’d never be back!” another one said happily.
The Fireys made their way towards Dimentio. One of them knocked his head off and they started playing a game of soccer, their own heads occasionally falling off their necks and getting confused with one another. Meanwhile, another one of the Fireys had taking a liking to Web... or rather, was trying to take her head off as well. “Hey! Hey!” he said. “Her head don’t come off!”
“OF COURSE IT DOESN’T!” Web shouted, flailing her arms in an attempt to knock him off of her. Mimi had gathered more of her Rubees and Misty had found another beating stick(this time named Chihuahua). Jess was taking on another form, this time one of a woman with snow-white skin and hair, pointed ears and a blue outfit designed for colder weather. She blew away four of the Fireys with a blast of icy wind. Then she turned to the one holding Dimentio’s head. “Aw, man,” the Firey said. “That’s cold.”
“That’s the point,” Jess replied, freezing the Firey from head to toe and causing him to drop Dimentio’s head. She laughed. “Oh yeah! I’m so awesome!”
Soon, Dimentio’s body had found his head and placed it back where it belonged. “Thank you,” Dimentio said, “but I could’ve handled it myself. You needn’t have bothered.”
“Yeah, sure you did,” Jess laughed. “What were you gonna do, nibble their fingers off?”
“As a matter of fact, I was.”
They kept moving. As they approached a particularly wall, Jess started to fall behind. “Guys, wait up...” she said weakly. “I need to rest... it’s too hot...”
“What are you talking about?” Mimi asked. “It’s, like, 50 degrees! It’s not that hot, is it?”
“The form she’s in at the moment must be really sensitive to heat...” Web thought aloud. At that moment, Jess collapsed, instantly changing back to her normal self. “What the...?” She tried changing back into her ice-woman form, but was only able to hold it for about five seconds. The second time she tried, she didn’t even change her hair color(which was still blonde form earlier). “What... what’s happening to me?” she cried. “I can’t even morph anymore?”
They didn’t have any time to think about the situation, for at that moment a long rope dropped form the top of the wall. “Grab it!” a voice said. They did, and when they did, the rope was pulled by what felt like eleven people. When they reached the top, they realized the voice had belonged to Kikit. Apparently, the Electric Mayhem and Errol had been passing overhead. “Web!” Errol cried. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Web said. “Come on, let’s get going!”
They started walking along the top of the wall. As they did, the wall started to take on a slight downward incline. The incline became steeper and steeper, the group picking up speed as they continued downward. Eventually, in classic comedy style, one of them tripped and knocked everyone else over and they all rolled down the hill, running into the rest of the Orb Retrievers along the way. “That was... anticlimactic...” Miss Piggy moaned.
“Everyone, look...” Dimentio directed their attention to the looming gate before them. “We’re here.”
Oh, is that what Darkrigh would be like? *Swoons over Jess's ghost lady form. Shade huh? Would've tossed a Shadow Ball instead. Ice lady... Did she use Blizzard or Ice Beam? Ju have Wii? *Would love to have vision back to play the new addition of what used to be my gaming addiction... Mega Man 9! *Flies in disappearing saucer so as to snatch Jes away and glomp her. Now please... Post more?
*Leaves the Pharoah Shot equipped, lets it grow, has the sunball hovering above, then fires it off upwards as a great firework display.
I did it before Christmas, just like I said~!
Shade doesn't resemble Darkrai at all, actually. I just said what she sounded like to illustrate that there was a voice change between my various morphs. And the ice lady(though I didn't say so in the chapter because it was largely unimportant, her name is Snowie)... I don't think she used any sort of Pokemon-based Ice-type move. I think it was mostly improv.
And yeah, I have a Wii. I just don't have Wi-Fi so I can't get any Virtual Console/WiiWare, like Super mario RPG or Strong Bad's Cool Game 4 Attractive People... No high-speed computer in my room really sucks.
Aw... If you have WII, the one thing Ima dying to know from MM9 is the serial number order of the Robot Masters, including the first female Robot Master boss, Splash Woman. Mmm, love me some fin.
Loveses Shade and Snowy too, they soundish vonderful. And the orange blonde, is that meant to be a "Sunny"?
Anyway... *Huggles PuppyLuver, hoping for more to be postered soon.
Eh heh heh... I'm not really into Mega Man that much... actually, I'm not into Mega Man at all... ^^;
Thansk! Naah, no Sunny, though I do have a Pyra morph. Burn, baby, burn.
*In Ernie/Kermit voice: Oh well. Pyra? Me keep likey this more and more.Please post when you can. And send some huggles Maddie's way too from all of us here.
I'm working on chapter 9 right now. It involves a major plot twist that I'm pretty sure everyone saw coming, but didn't mention anything about it. It also involves a reference to Weirdies, a roleplay between me-n-Maddie. XD
Yaey! *Huggles and waits for the update.
NOTICE! Expect chapter 9 sometime within the next two weeks at best!
PuppyLuver Studios presents
The Scoop of the Century
Chapter 9: Storming the Castle (or not)
It’s now that the story really starts getting good!
There’s a cameo by a character Maddie(ZootyCutie) came up with, based on a character from a certain Disney movie based on a certain book by Roald Dahl. Insert copyrights here.
The walls surrounding the Goblin City loomed over the Orb Retrievers impressively, especially considering that most of them were still in a heap after that incident near the end of the last chapter. “Well, we’re here,” Web said. “Now what?”
“What else?” Dimentio asked rhetorically. “We go in.” He thought for a bit. “Actually, it would likely be best if I went in alone. Barring the fact that the townsfolk already know and trust me, one attracts much less attention than many, especially considering the ‘many’ is this ragtag group of nitwits.”
Some of the group got slightly annoyed of Dimentio calling them “nitwits”. “I’m not a nitwit! I’m a nincompoop!” Homestar said.
“Yes, we know. Now, here’s the loose plan,” Dimentio told them all. “I will go alone to Jareth’s castle. You... I dunno, you can just hang in Dimension D or something until I get there. Sound good?”
It didn’t really sound all that great, but the group couldn’t think of any other options that wouldn’t tip Jareth off of their arrival, so they reluctantly agreed. As the “charming” magician prepared to enter the Goblin City, he sent everyone to Dimension D, a world of his own creation. There, amid the burn-your-eyes-out green walls, they saw a horrid sight.
It was Stardust. However, he looked so unlike when they had last seen him. Both eyes had changed to a pale gray color and the ruby on his chest was dull and cracked. His purple skin had faded and he was reaching upward at something only he could see in his state of delusion. “The stars, Ma...” he muttered weakly. “I can finally touch the stars...!” It was pitiful to watch. Meanwhile, Jess had taken to rummaging through the endless storage space in her hat. She was obviously looking for something specific, but what it was, no one knew. “Jess?” Shooting Star asked. “What are you doing?”
“Looking,” Jess replied. She continued to rummage, throwing random objects she had found behind her, which landed pell-mell across the lime landscape. “That’s not it...” she said as she came across a pink plastic ruler, a bottle of school glue, a birthstone sculpture of Kermit with a bouquet of flowers(the real Kermit caught this, smiling), a roll of duct tape and a pair of Wii logo print boxer shorts(these landed on Zoot’s head, though he didn’t seem to mind). Soon, she found what she had been looking for. “Aha!” she exclaimed, pulling out what looked like a portable DVD player.
“Oh, I remember that!” Zoot cried, the Wii boxers still perched atop his head. “Do you still have that DVD of Corpse Bride?”
“No, it was a rental,” Jess told him. “Plus, I’m not using this to watch movies.”
“What’re you guys talking about?” someone asked.
“DimentioVision,” Jess said.
“What?” everyone(except for Zoot) asked.
“DimentioVision,” Jess said again. “Last year, I implanted a device in ol’ Ziggy Crapforbrains’s head while he was knocked out from one of my blows again, and he still doesn’t know about it! Using that, along with my DVD player and this special disk...” (she held up a DVD that had “DimentioVision” written on it in black Sharpie) “... I can see and hear everything Dimentio does at any time I like. I mainly use it to make sure he’s not getting into my personal ice cream supply.” She put in the disk and turned the player on. Soon, the streets of the Goblin City came into view. Various creatures, mostly goblins, though some elves and a few fairies, wandered from building to building, running errands or visiting relatives. Often, one of the creatures would wave at Dimentio, who waved back. He seemed to be something of a minor celebrity to them. Once, a female goblin even swooned as he passed. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” Jess said when she saw how much positive attention the jester was getting.
Dimentio soon passed a short, squat goblin(which was pretty average amongst goblins) wearing an official-looking suit. The goblin was looking over a long list, no doubt a to-do list. This particular goblin was none other than Panjan Spittledrum, the mayor of the Goblin City. “Ugh, I have way too much stuff to do today,” Spittledrum moaned. “So much to do and not enough time. If only there were two more hours in the day... but even with 28 hours in the day, I might still have too much to do.” A disembodied black hand poked the distressed official on his shoulder. “Not now, not now! Can’t you see I’m busy?” he shouted.
“Aww, Panjan, buddy!” Dimentio said innocently. “That’s no way to treat an old friend!”
Spittledrum jumped slightly. “Dimentio?” he asked, in a slightly panicked but mostly happy tone. “I thought you said you weren’t coming back for another month or so!”
“That was an estimate, my good man,” the annoying jester said. “Turns out my job took less time than I had imagined.”
Job? Web thought, watching the scene on Jess’s DimentioVision player. What does he mean by that?
“So you have them then?” Spittledrum asked, intensely curious.
“Of course,” Dimentio laughed. “Well, I don’t have any on me at the moment other than the Spirit Orb, but I roped a bunch of suckers into helping me find the rest. Idiots, the lot of them, thinking I was trying to collect the Orbs before Jareth. Didn’t even suspect that I was on his majesty’s side the whole time! ‘Cept for Stardust, but he already knew the whole story, so he doesn’t count.”
Everyone watching the screen gasped in surprise. Dimentio lied! Of course, this was no surprise to those who had known the twisted jester, who had proven himself to be quite adept in lies and trickery in the past. Still, if he had lied about that, what else had he lied about? Was he really trying to stop this destructive force? Were he and the Goblin King only collecting the Orbs to help it along? “I knew it,” Jess said angrily. “I knew he couldn’t be trusted.”
“So why’d you hide the Spirit Orb for him if you didn’t trust him?” Kermit asked.
“Because I knew that if the universe really was in danger, which it is, then not helping him would mean that I would’ve had a hand in its destruction!” Jess retorted. “Do you know what that would’ve done to me inside? I could never live with myself knowing that.”
“But if the universe was destroyed, you wouldn’t be alive anyway,” someone else pointed out.
“That’s not...” She was about to say ‘that’s not the point’, but she couldn’t get all the words out before collapsing. The full effects of her world being destroyed had almost come down upon the teenage shapeshifter. Her hair had gone pure white along with her eyes. Every bit of color in her skin had drained. She looked like a blind albino. It was a truly shocking sight, though not yet as bad as poor Stardust.
Soon, a familiar voice rang throughout the entire room. “Anyone who wants to save the universe, please step into the swirling portal that looks like it’s in front of a castle wall,” Dimentio’s voice said. A swirling portal that looked like it was in front of a castle wall appeared before them. Everyone felt bad for leaving Stardust and Jess behind, but they knew they had to do something about the universe. If Dimentio had been using them this entire time to further its destruction, each and every one of them vowed to make him pay.
When they all passed through the portal, they found themselves at the doors of Jareth’s castle. Dimentio looked over everyone who had exited the portal and noticed something. “What happened to Jess?” he asked.
“The same thing that happened to Stardust,” Misty said coolly.
“Well,” Dimentio said somewhat hesitantly, “it’ll be reversed once we get that Fire Orb from Jareth and stop the destruction, so no worries, huh?”
Miss Piggy scoffed. “Who are you kidding?” she half-shouted. “We know vous are helping him. There’s no point in denying it. We saw and heard everything.”
Dimentio acted cool, but there was no avoiding the fact that his speech had become a bit jumpy and his eyes seem to dart around suspiciously. “Wh-what are you talking about?” he retorted almost as loud as the lady pig. “Helping Jareth! Maybe I would normally, but I-I’m not this time! He just wants the Orbs for glory! H-he doesn’t know that they’re the key to saving us all!”
No one believed a word the jester said. They all knew his lengthy track record for lies and treason. All the Muppets, former minions and cartoon characters closed in on Dimentio, who had proven once again how far he’d go for power. They wouldn’t let him get away with it this time.
What happened next all happened in less than five seconds, but seemed much longer. Everyone without any special powers pounced on Dimentio. Mimi pulled more of her Rubies out of midair and shot them at the “charming” magician, barely missing him but leaving a wide gash in the stone wall. Pink energy blasts fired from a space around Shooting Star(which I presume that is where her fingertips were). Even Kermit, who was usually content to vent his frustration by just shouting a bit and flailing his arms, made a motion as if he were going to punch the jester in his split-colored face. Dimentio, quicker than any of them, ran a circle around the group before disappearing. When it was all over, the traitor was long gone, some people had a few cuts and singed hair and Fozzie somehow got a black eye. “Oh, sorry about that, Fozzie,” Kermit said. “I was aiming for him, he must have moved before...”
“It’s okay, Kermit,” Fozzie replied, gingerly rubbing his eye. “I know you didn’t—”
“Oh no!” Nastasia suddenly cried. “The Wind Orb! It’s gone!”
“What?” Web and O’Chunks both checked their pockets. The Water and Earth Orbs had also vanished. Three guesses who was to blame.
Jareth was standing alone at the very top of the tallest tower, though not for long. A ripple appeared in midair as Dimentio warped to the site where they would join the five Orbs. “So, you have them?” Jareth asked. Dimentio said nothing, but instead pulled four glass balls from the inside of his cloak. “Excellent,” the Goblin King declared. “Let’s get started, then.”
“Okay.” Dimentio heard the obvious cracking of his voice, but Jareth didn’t seem to notice. If he did, he was being surprisingly kind not to mention it. He was placing the remaining four Orbs in their places on the five-point star already containing a pink glass ball that seemed to be dancing inside, alive with heat and light, the Fire Orb. When all five were finally together and in place, the star lit up. It was time.
“We need to go after him,” Kermit stated. “That’s the only way we can stop this.”
“But how?” Web cried. “We have no idea where he disappeared to! He could be miles from here by now!”
“Then why would he bother bringing us here if he was just gonna take off?” Gonzo asked. “It makes no sense, even to me.”
“To throw us off, probably,” Errol said. “Y’know, so it’d be harder for us to guess where he is.”
Everyone turned their attention to Mimi, who was pointing up at the tallest tower of the castle. Strange colored lights were flashing in five different directions from the top, in purple, pink, yellow, green and blue. Suddenly, a bright white light shot upwards from the center. “Does that look weird to you?”
The two magicians were pouring all their energy into the Orbs. “Any minute now...” Jareth said excitedly. “It’ll be summoned soon. We’ll be heroes, Dimen. Heroes...”
“Yeah, heroes...” He didn’t even bother correcting Jareth about his name. A blinding white light shot out of the star holding the Orbs, causing them both to have to shield their eyes. Even as his magic drained, Dimentio couldn’t help thinking of one thing, nagging at the back of his mind. What was this strange feeling? He hadn’t felt anything like this in over ten years, and he couldn’t remember what it was called. What was it, sadness? Regret for his actions?
The group was thankful that Jess wasn’t the only shapeshifter out of them. Mimi had transformed into a pale, thin woman, wearing a blue beret and scarf and black-n-white patterned dress, who had a seemingly endless supply of thin yet incredibly strong string, which was being used to raise everyone to the top of the tallest tower. The white light that was towering above them was starting to fade, meaning whatever Dimentio and Jareth were doing was almost complete. They had to hurry...
The light died down. Dimentio and Jareth lowered their hands from their faces and saw a figure hovering directly above the star. It was clearly feminine, but what it was they weren’t sure. It had almost the same coloring as the star and the Orbs, though in a darker value, not so cheery and bright. There seemed to be a lingering darkness to this being the Orbs had summoned, though not in an evil way.
“Why have you summoned me?” the being asked. There was some sort of ethereal echo in its voice, which sounded as feminine as it looked. I think it’s safe to call this being a girl now. Her monochrome eyes seemed to be staring straight into the magicians’ souls.
“Are you Paltretta Leviton, the Being of Elemental Light?” Dimentio asked the being.
“No,” she said. “I am Notivel Attertlap, the Being of Elemental Dark. As with all things, the elemental powers need to be balanced. My existence balances that of my sister.”
“Why have you summoned me?” Notivel repeated. There was now a trace of annoyance in her voice.
“There is a force that is causing the destruction of all the known worlds,” Dimentio told her, trying to sound desperate. “We had come across the knowledge that the Elemental Orbs would summon a different force that would have the power to stop this destruction. Please, help us fight this evil!”
“You have no room to speak of evil... Dimentio, Master of Dimensions and Pleaser of Crowds... Jareth, King of the Goblins and Ruler of the Labyrinth...” It was clear that Notivel, whatever she was, could see into their minds and hearts. “Both of you have caused horrible misdeeds in the past. The darkness residing in your hearts is the reason you have summoned me instead of my counterpart. You are not worthy of my services. And another thing... I would require the help of Paltretta to stop a villainy this powerful.” A thin layer of black smoke surrounded Notivel’s form before she vanished. It was about that time that the others had finally reached the top.
“There he is!” Mimi shouted, back in her normal little-girl form. “Let’s get that traitor!”
“No, you don’t understand!” Dimentio exclaimed. “I’ve been on your side this whole time, I only lied about the little details!”
But there would be no time to explain, for the black nothingness swallowing the worlds had finally caught up with them. You have avoided me for long enough! an evil voice rang out from the void, echoing in their minds. But now... now you are mine! They could clearly see what was swallowing the worlds now. The black, soulless eyes were on the front of a yellow fox-like face made of velvet, a glowing red jewel hanging above on a thin wire. The yellow head was attached to an equally yellow, equally fox-like plush body wearing white gloves and red shoes on its dangling limbs, two tails on its rump...
The Tails Doll.
Soon, darkness surrounded them, enveloping the world of the Labyrinth and all inside. They were cast into the void.
Huggles this ever so dearly... *Glomps der Jes, or at least her albino form.
So much to react to... Is impossible.
Spittledrum, isn't that one of the goblins from Return to Labyrinth?
You should talk to RedPiggy, she's a great help in that area.
The elemental beings... Love Notival.
And hey... You can't blame the guys for trying.
The Tails Doll... Is this some fiendish form of Miles "Tails" from Mobius?
When you mentioned the Rol Dahl reference, I thought you were going to bring in Gus the Gremlin or the Fifinella, from his book about Gremlins, which would've been made into a Disney movie but was scrapped before getting a chance.
Yes, I know about that thanks to my patronage of the Disney Pincast.
Oh... Me feerud. Please... Postes more!
BTW: Nice how the elemental ladies' names are each other's names backwards. Mooore please? Yas? No, that other girl's name. We will helpses the Jess... We will... *Locks the annoying little Bean Bunny/Jigglypuff crossbreed in its cage. Whatever on Jim's Kermit green Earth possessed me to make such a creature. Um, happy birthday?
*Leaves Bean/Jiggly with Jess as an Xmas present.
Separate names with a comma.