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Muppet Fan-Fiction - Men Are Pigs

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, May 18, 2007.

  1. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 19

    "Here you are sir or madame, a pamphlet on the many services we offer here at Quintuple H Inudustries- or Q.H.I., as we like to call it."

    "Yes, please, take the time to flip through the pages of the brochure- and remember, we’re the official relationship counselors for the Muppets!"

    "I thought we cut that part out?"

    "Oh, whoops."

    "Uh, anwyay," Butch said. "Whadaya think, Kermit?"

    Kermit stood with his arms folded, leaning against the ticket booth outside the theater. He looked up at Pops inside the booth, who shook his head and chuckled. Kermit turned back to the new relationship counselors. "Well, guys, it’s... certainly... interesting."

    "In a good way or bad?" Clyde asked.

    "Shut it, Clyde, the frog’s complimenting us," Butch said.

    "Um, as I was saying," Kermit said. "It’s certainly interesting, but do you really think anyone would want to use you two to solve their relationship issues?"

    "You did," Clyde said.

    "Not the best point you’ve ever made, partner," Butch said.

    "It’s the only point I’ve ever made," Clyde said.

    "You’re tellin’ me," Butch muttered.

    "Gee, Kermit," Pops said. "You sure are hirin’ some weirdos lately, aren’t ya?"

    "Lately?" Kermit asked.

    "Oh, please, Kermit, please." Butch begged. "Let us plug our program during yours!"

    Clyde darted forward and began to kiss Kermit’s flippers. "Oh, yes, I grovel at your feet, Kermit, sir!"

    Butch dove for Clyde and hoisted him up off the sidewalk. "Don’t mind this one, Kermit, he’s not at all right in the head."

    "He’s right," Clyde said. "I’m more left-brained than I am right."

    Pops chuckled again, and shook his head. "Well, Kermit," he said. "At last ticket count, we’re only two tickets short of selling out tomorrow night."

    "Hm." Kermit thought. "Okay, Butch, Clyde, I’ll let you market your program tomorrow night before and after the show, if you buy your own tickets to see it."

    Butch and Clyde laughed and high-fived. "Deal!" Clyde said. "We’ll make at least three times the price of the tickets tomorrow night!"

    "Yeah, it’s fool-proof!" Butch said.

    Pops shook his head and handed the last two tickets to Kermit. The frog smirked and passed the tickets on to Butch and Clyde. "Only time will tell, I suppose."

    "Oh, uh, Kermit, one more thing," Butch said.

    Kermit groaned. "What?"

    "Can we get a ride home?" Clyde asked.

    "Me too," Pops said, leaving the ticket booth, and locking the door.

    Fozzie, Rizzo, Pepe, Sam, Clifford, Rowlf, Scooter, Gonzo, and Floyd came walking out of the theater. Fozzie came up to Kermit, hat in hand. "Um, Kermit? Rizzo, and Pepe, and I, sorta, um, ran away from the Studebaker," he said.

    Kermit sighed. "So you need a ride too?" he asked.

    "Si," Pepe said. "If it isn’t too much trouble, of course, Kermin. But, jou know, if jou can’t give us a ride, we will be stuck here with de spooky scary man of the t’eater, hokay? I just don’t t’ink my little prawn persona can handle such stress, hokay?"

    "And I’m not exactly sure how I got here," Sam said. "May I have a ride anyway?"

    Kermit sighed, and turned to Clifford. "What about you guys?"

    "Nope," Clifford said, twirling his car keys around his purple finger. "We drove here."

    "Well, we didn’t drive here," Floyd said. "Aunt Marge sorta gave us a push."

    "And then another push, right down the theater aisle," Gonzo said.

    "Sheesh, just get in the car." Kermit opened the door of his green S.U.V., and started the engine.


    The tip of Aunt Marge’s face met Link’s nostrils as both of their eyes flared and glared. "What do you mean my fault?" Aunt Marge hissed at the pig.

    "I mean, it’s your fault, of course!" Link said.

    Aunt Marge pulled her face away. "Geez, you’re dumber than the girl pig!"

    "That’s the problem!" Link said.

    "Miss Piggy being dumb is the problem?" Robin asked.

    "Yes!" Link said.

    "I know someone who’s having pork chops for dinner," Skeeter mumbled.

    "She’s too dumb to see how much Kermit still needs her!" Link said.

    "Like, and you noticed it?" Janice asked.

    "Of course," Link said.

    "Man, I guess she is dumb," Skeeter said.

    "Who’s dumb?"

    They all turned around and stared at Miss Piggy, who was staring at them.

    "Ah, um," Skeeter stuttered. "Aunt-" Skeeter glanced at Aunt Marge, and stuttered some more. "Er, Aunt Jemimah!"

    "The woman... on the syrup bottle?" Piggy asked.

    "Yeah!" Skeeter said. "I mean... she... well... she says on her bottle that she’s both thick and rich! Who wants to go around saying they’re either dumb, or fat! Who cares if they’re rich?"

    Miss Piggy shrugged. "It worked for Paris Hilton."

    "Everything works for Paris Hilton," Skeeter said.

    "Yeah, and, like, everyone," Janice said.

    "Who?" Aunt Marge asked.

    "Oh, you’re here?" Piggy growled at Aunt Marge.

    "Yes, I am," Aunt Marge said. "Got a problem with it, porky?"

    "What did you call me?" Piggy snarled.

    "Oh, I didn’t call you anything," Aunt Marge said. "Just pointing out a physical feature."

    Piggy’s jaw dropped. "Brawk bawk bawk," Camilla clucked quietly.

    Skeeter nodded. "Dead frog walking is right."

    "You see?" Link asked. "This woman causes all of Piggy’s blind rage."

    "HI-YA!" Piggy karate chopped Link. "If you’ll excuse moi," Piggy said politely to Aunt Marge. "I must take this bothersome pest home." She grabbed Link by his boot and dragged him along the ground as she walked away.

    "Gotta get in good with the in-laws," Piggy muttered. "Er, well... not the in-laws anymore... I guess..."

    "Maybe if you tried to be a little nicer," Link said from the ground he was being dragged upon.

    "Ah, shut up," Piggy told him.


    Johnny Fiama sunk down lower in the sofa and flipped through the television channels. "Man, Sal, I tell ya, I just feel so low," he sighed.

    "Well maybe if ya didn’t slouch so much," Sal said from his spot on the couch next to Johnny.

    Johnny straightened himself up. "No, no, it’s not that... it’s just... I feel like I let Skeeter down, ya know?"

    "Johnny," Sal said. "You do realize she was just dating you to get back at Clifford, don’t ya?"

    "Yeah, yeah, I know," Johnny said. "I just don’t feel like I’m doin’ a very good job of it."

    "Well there isn’t much to work with," Waldorf said from the left armchair next to the couch.

    "Mmhm." Statler nodded. "There never has been, that’s why the shows are so bad."

    "Ya know," Bobo said, rolling over to look at the two old codgers on his beanbag. "I’ve always wondered... why do you two live here if you hate us so much?"

    "Oh, that’s easy," Statler said.

    "Yeah, the old-folks home wouldn’t let us stay," Waldorf said.

    "Yup," Statler agreed. "No one takes a heckling better than you guys."

    "How do ya mean?" Sal asked.

    "Watch," Statler said. "Hey, bunny!" Statler called to Bean. "I’ve seen bunions cuter than you!"

    "Aw," Bean said. "How nice of you guys to think of me when you see your bunions."

    "Ya see?" Statler asked.

    "Huh," Bobo said, scratching his arm.

    "Most people would’ve called someone about us by now," Waldorf said.

    "Yeah, but who would they call?" Statler asked.

    "The exterminator," Waldorf said.

    "Why would they call the exterminator?" Statler asked.

    "Because the exterminator gets rid of pests!" Waldorf said.

    "Do ho ho ho!" They both laughed.

    "But they can’t call the exterminator," Statler said. "The rats have the phone bugged."

    "Rats, bugs, and us?" Waldorf asked. "They really do need an exterminator!"

    "Oogh!" The Swedish Chef shouted, barging in. "Ya huber de secret sooflee recipee!"

    "Dinner already?" Statler asked.

    "Don’t forget to take your pill," Waldorf said.

    "Why would I pay the bill?" Statler asked. "I live here!"

    "D’oh, you’re hearing aid’s busted again!" Waldorf shouted.

    "No it’s not," Statler said. "I just have selective hearing."

    "You old coot!" Waldorf said.

    "You flatter me," Statler said, getting up to go to the dinner table.

    "Someone has to," Waldorf said, following Statler into the kitchen.

    Johnny and Sal exchanged glances. "Sal?" Johnny said.

    "Yeah, Johnny?" Sal asked.

    "If I ever get like that, please kill me."

    "You got it, Johnny."
  2. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    He he, more good stuff. I loved the interaction between Piggy and Aunt Marge, it was quite funny. And Link...how has she put up with him this long? Must read more!
  3. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Beth, I must commend you for beating Lisa to the posting punch. Here, a muffin por vous. ;)
  4. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member


    You ran away from the Studebaker, eh Fozzie? LOVE THAT. Laughed so hard I hurt my throat. And, Pepe funny! Everyone asking for a ride... He should've just told them he came on his bicycle. :p

    The booth! And the tickets! TICKETS! Oy it makes me happiful. Right brain left brain! And so forth. That's a lovely scene.

    And last but not least but certainly oldest, Statler and Waldorf. You know what REALLY made that scene just GOLDEN? (Love Johnny's thoughts at the beginning, by the way.) The lines at the end. You know why? One, it reminds me of my parents talking about my grandparents. :p Two, I can SO see Sal trying to go through with it, and Johnny backing out, and...

  5. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Thank you wittle prawny foo-foo for the cute wittle chapter.

    Shame I didn't read this first... Good stuff with the hecklers. Great stuff with Butch and Clyde, wondered where they were. Post more!
  6. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Well-Known Member

    Well my thoughts of the story were already expressed in that wonderful review TogetherAgain did.

    Keep on goin'!

    XD I laugh all the time at your stories...seriously. :p

    EDIT: not in the mean way
  7. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    I don't know why... but that cracked me up. :p
  8. BeakerSqueedom

    BeakerSqueedom Well-Known Member

    Omg, I DID A FUNNY! X3

    Fozzie: *headpalm*

    ...*Gets off the stage* :3

    update update!
  9. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hey! Cap'n Prawny... Post some more story before you end up on the menu. Yes, before we breakout the cocktail sauce and see if you have any flavor.
  10. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 20

    Boomerang fish were flung. Explosions exploded. Cannons crashed. Muppaphones moaned. Monsters marched. Mayhem was the medium.

    This is what we call "The Muppet Show."

    "Ready, Robin?" Kermit asked his nephew from his desk backstage.

    Robin’s smile brimmed. "Ready, Uncle Kermit."

    "Oh g-"

    "Boss! Boss!" Scooter came shouting. "Fifteen seconds to curtain, boss!"

    Kermit shook his head. "Some things never change.


    The theme song went off without a hitch (and not just because the hitch used to restrain Animal was nowhere to be found).

    Kermit took center stage to roaring applause from the night’s audience. "Thank you, thank you, and welcome again to ‘The Muppet Show.’ We’ve got a really fantastic show for you tonight, one full of surprises!"

    "Oh, surprises!" Waldorf said.

    "Yeah, maybe the show’ll actually be good!" Statler added.

    "Now that would be a surprise!"

    "Do ho ho ho!"

    Kermit ignored the heckling. "Ladies and gentlemen, the theme for tonight’s show will be love, and celebrating the theme, we’ll be giving our renditions of some of the greatest love stories of all time," Kermit said. "For our first act we present our rendition of that timeless classic, ‘Beauty and the Beast.’" Kermit followed the curtains as they were drawn offstage.

    The spotlight opened on Fozzie and Pepe center stage, a castle backdrop behind them. Pepe had a large pocket watch dangling from his neck, and Fozzie had a fake candle sticking out of his hat, and held two others in his hands.

    "Um, Lumierre," Pepe said to Fozzie. "Do jou ever t’ink a beautiful woman will come and fall in love with our master-" Pepe turned and faced the audience. "De Beast?"

    "I dunno, Cogsworth," Fozzie said to Pepe. "But if a girl doesn’t show up, I can always entertain us with some candleshtick! Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!"

    "I don’t get it," Pepe said.

    A doorbell rang out across the stage. Fozzie and Pepe looked all around. "Oh boy," Pepe said. "It could be a beautiful girl, hokay?"

    "Ah, yeah!" Fozzie said. "What’re we gonna do?"

    The doorbell rang again. "Um," Pepe said. "Answer de door?"

    "Ahh!" Fozzie pointed at Pepe. "Brilliant!"

    "Si, but we cannot let her see us, hokay?" Pepe said.

    "Why not?" Fozzie asked.

    "Because," Pepe said, pushing his hair back. "She will probably fall in love with me and my gorgeous self, hokay? And not de Beast."

    "Oh," Fozzie said.

    They walked over to stage right and pulled open a door built for the scene, and hid behind it as it opened.

    The spotlight moved on to Miss Piggy, who walked through the door to roaring applause. "Oh, thank vous, and vous, oh, and vous over there, yes. Moi am gorgeous, no?" she said. "I suppose that is why they call moi... Beauty."

    "I thought they called her Belle?" Fozzie asked.

    "Who cares?" Pepe said. "She’s too busy hamming it up, hokay?"

    "Hark!" Piggy called. "Who is there? Who is it that I must kill for that comment?"

    Fozzie closed the door and he and Pepe walked up behind Piggy and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hello," Fozzie said.

    Piggy screamed in fright. "HI-YA!" she karate chopped, missing the two of them.

    "Si, nice to see jou too, hokay?" Pepe said.

    "Yeah, it is!" Fozzie said. "You can break the spell by falling in love with our master!"

    "You can’t talk!" Piggy said. "You’re a candlestick and a clock!"

    "Wait till jou see Mrs. Potts, hokay?" Pepe said.

    "Wha?" Piggy asked.

    "Shloody bloo de horn de floo!" The Swedish Chef shouted, running in from stage left wearing a teapot costume, complete with handle and spout.

    "Mrs. Potts!" Fozzie called.

    "Ya, ya!" The Chef said. "Burd fur de hoopla de beasty!"

    "D’at is not good, hokay?" Pepe said.

    "What?" Piggy asked. "What isn’t good?"

    "The master," Fozzie said. "He’s coming!"

    "Huh?" Piggy asked.

    "Too late!" Fozzie shouted.

    Animal came running across the stage. "Woman! Woman!" he shouted. "Ah! Belle!" he said once he reached Miss Piggy.

    "Yucha," Piggy grimaced. "I’m supposed to fall in love with this?"

    "La, la, la!" Animal chanted. "Beauty and Beast! Ha, ha, ha!"

    "Quick, quick," Pepe said. "Play some romantical music, hokay?"

    "Don’t even think about it, wristwatch!" Piggy growled.

    "I am a desk clock, hokay?" Pepe said.

    "Belle! Belle!" Animal chanted.

    "HI-YA!" Piggy karate chopped Animal, knocking him over. "I am out of here!" she said, stomping offstage.

    Pepe turned to face the audience. "And d’ey all lived happily ever after, hokay?" he said.

    The curtains closed and the audience applauded.

    "You know what the moral of that story was?" Waldorf asked.

    "Don’t judge a book by its cover?" Statler asked.

    "No," Waldorf said. "That this show is the real beast!"

    "Do ho ho ho!"


    "Great job, great job," Kermit said to Fozzie, Pepe, The Swedish Chef, Animal, and Miss Piggy as they came backstage. "Great number guys."

    "Yeah, real nice," Rizzo said, munching on a sandwich and peering at the work on Kermit’s desk.

    "Mm," Piggy said. "What did vous think, Linky?" she asked Link.

    "Uh..." Link pondered. "A... beastly performance."

    "Ah!" Fozzie said. "That’s funny!"

    "Yeah, hilarious!" Piggy growled at Link.

    Kermit shook his head. "Next act, on stage, ‘When Harry Met Sal,’ on stage!" Kermit called.

    Crazy Harry and Sal walked behind Kermit as he wrote something down on his desk.

    "Kermit!" Skeeter shouted, making the frog jump.

    "Yeesh," Kermit said. "You’re lucky frogs are supposed to jump like that."

    "Have you seen Clifford?" Skeeter asked.

    "Um, no," Kermit lied. "Have you, Rizzo?"

    "No," Rizzo said. "Haven’t seen ‘im all night. Why do ya wanna know, anyway?" Rizzo asked.

    Skeeter muttered something. "Oh, uh, nothing. What about Gonzo or Floyd?"

    "Haven’t seen them either," Kermit lied again.

    "Nope," Rizzo said.

    Skeeter grumbled. "Thanks," she said, walking off.

    "Rizzo," Kermit said to the rat.

    "Yeah?" Rizzo said.

    "Go down to the storage closet and tell Clifford and the others to be ready when I call," Kermit said.

    "Gotcha," Rizzo said, heading off towards the storage closet.




    "Oh, Marge, I’ve never experienced such... such emotions."

    "Oh, Sam..."

    "Oh, Marge..."

    "Sh!" an elderly woman with glasses hissed at the lovebird and frog. "This is a library!" The woman hobbled off, wheeling a cart of books.

    "Oh Sam," Aunt Marge whispered. "You pick the most romantic spots..."


    "Hey, why isn’t Mister the Frog getting ready to introduce the finale?" Lew Zealand asked.

    "Maybe he is in it," Beauregard said.

    "But he’s not in costume," Bean Bunny said.

    "I heard it was all lovey-dovey and such," Pops said.

    "The closing number?" Bobo asked.

    "Yup," Pops said.

    "Huh," Johnny said. "Frog’s got matzi."

    Piggy receded back into her dressing room. "Oh, did vous hear that?" Piggy asked Link. "Kermit is in the closing number! And it’s lovey-dovey!" she said. "He must be ready to win me back! Ooh! I must go get a seat in the front row!" she said, running out of her dressing room.

    Link sighed. "But what about my publicity?"


    "Is everyone in place?" Fozzie asked.

    "You bet!" Scooter said.

    "Da girls are out in da audience," Rizzo said. "And da guys are ready and waiting."

    "And Rowlf is on the piano," Uncle Deadly said.

    "Great," Fozzie said. "Robin," he said, with a deep breath. "Go ahead."

    Robin nodded and walked out on stage in front of the curtains. "Hi everybody! Uncle Kermit has asked me to introduce the final number because... well, because it was my idea to do it," he said. "So, um, now, here it is, the closing number!"

    The curtains opened, and the lights lit up the stage.

    "Here we go," Kermit said.
  11. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hey! No fair! You can't post a great update like that... With such a funny first act based on the Disney version... And the Chef as Mrs. Potts, though I'd've thought you'd've brought in Hilda for such a role... And heckling... And the library... And the library... And then Kermit lieing to Skeeter... And the storage closet... And the conversation between the bit players about the final number... And Robin's idea... And not keep going with that final number...

    You get back here and post that final number!
  12. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member


    I KNEW you'd do that! I KNEW you'd leave it on this kind of a cliffhanger! MUST see final number! PLEASE?

    I loved the Beauty and the Beast scene, it was classic! Good jokes with Statler and Waldorf too! And Sam and Aunt Marge on a date in the library! Great stuff!

    Ok, back to begging. PLEASE bring on the final number!
  13. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Ah, the final number... what a spectacular thing that is, eh? Hm, wonder when I'll get around to posting that... I suppose if the offers are good enough I may consider posting it sooner rather than later... but the offers have to be good enough... :halo:
  14. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Consider this... You'll have the bragging frights amongst all other authors, noone but you will be able to say they got a rousing ovation from the Count von Count on the last day before his 5th anniversary as an MC member. And what with him being a moderator and at 15K posts, the only one seriously attempting to challenge that clumsworth custodian... That'd be quite a coup in your coop, pardon the small joke.

    So come on Prawny.. Post the final number please! Or um, we'll um, have Uncle D lock you in your room again? Dunno, trying the tact of getting more story by buttering up the baker of such a fine delicacy as is this story.
    Fozzie: Hey, can I borrow those jokes?
    Fozzie: You're on a roll now... Wocka wocka!
    Uh yeah... Whatever.
    Gonzo: You called?
    Yeah. Go get that cannon of yours and be on standby if we need to threaten Ryan with blowing his room down. Or blowing his mind away, and no, I'm not talking about Lisa.
    Gonzo: Yes sir! *Rushes off to get fitted into the self-loading muzzy-barreled cannon.
    OK Prawn... You heard it from the vampire and the ghost and the weirdo themselves... Post more please!
  15. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    *wembles* Hmm... okay, I'll write more, and have it posted tonight.

    And also, "coup in your coop." *laughs*
  16. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Good... Hexpecting it tonight while I work on a couple of haunters for the castle. Now don't make me send them after you... Uncle Deadly will make sure you're tended to (or locked up) while you get that masterpiece finished and posted.
  17. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Ladies and gentlemen, the first ever multi-person detailed review. We're doing this as we read here... Goes kind of like this.

    Leyla: Did he update?
    Lisa and Leyla: Oh he did!
    Lisa: Yay!
    <General laughter>

    Leyla: Oh, really? <quite amused>

    Lisa: Robin! YAY!
    Nyssa: Talk about detailed review. LINE by LINE?
    Leyla: I used to do that ALL the time!
    Nyssa: At least do PARAGRAPH by PARAGRAPH, come on! ...Apparently, I'm now also in this detailed review, and I'm not even reading the story...

    Lisa: I like that, "Robin's smile brimmed."
    Leyla: That's a good word, brimmed. It's just like it overflowed from his heart.

    Leyla: No, that's true. It's always fifteen seconds to curtain.
    Nyssa: <click> There. Beautiful picture of Lisa reviewing Prawnie's story. And- <click> Picture of Leyla reviewing Prawnie's story. ...Picture of me, NOT reviewing Prawnie's story?...

    Leyla: <laughs> They hitch him? What do they hitch him to? "The theme song went off without a hitch." That's actually pretty good for them.
    Lisa: I'd say they hitch him to the drums.
    Nyssa: Yeah, she's pretty literal in typing whatever you say or do or think or- well, not think, she can't read minds...
    Leyla: Well, she SHOULD be able to read MY mind, I live in a closet in her head...
    Nyssa: No, that means YOU can read HER mind. Just open the door whenever you want, and read.
    Leyla: Oh, okay.

    Leyla: Wow, ROARING applause. Clearly, WE are in the audience.
    Nyssa: ...<clap>... <clap>... <clap>...
    Leyla: Except for you.
    Nyssa: Roar.
    Lisa: <types almost everything they say. ALMOST, I tell you! These people RAMBLE!>
    Leyla: <rambles about rambling>
    <General laughter reigns the room>
    Nyssa: <discusses how I often just say what her point is when she's rambling and I type for her>
    Leyla: <says that's a good idea>
    Nyssa and Leyla: <feel bad for me>

    Leyla: <laughs>
    Nyssa: <rolls eyes>
    Me: <starts typing>
    Leyla: Oh, no!
    Nyssa: That was more of a "shakes head, rolls eyes..." More of a shaking of the head than rolling of the eyes...
    Leyla: Look what you're doing to her! So cruel!
    Nyssa: I'm not FORCING her to type!
    Leyla: Oh, true.
    Nyssa: This is a story all by itself!

    Leyla: Woo-hoo! Aw... So Disney. So Prawnie.
    Nyssa: Well- it's not ALWAYS Disney...
    <more conversation>
    Leyla: That's good. The faster we talk, the less she can type. ...I like it when Prawnie uses Disney...
    Lisa: At some point, I'll contribute, I swear.
    Nyssa: I like that sometimes she uses "Lisa," and sometimes she uses "Me."
    Leyla: That's true! She's not consistent! She's gonna lose points for that when we're grading her.
    Lisa: GRADING? Anyway. Love Kermit following the curtains. There, see? I contributed!
    Leyla: Yes, that's a good point. He does- he just sort of sweeps off with them, like he's attached to them.
    Nyssa: <imitates "sweeping off with them" and falls onto bed>

    Leyla: Well, you KNOW this is gonna go well. Fake candle. I'm glad that it's fake. And I wonder how Pepe got Fozzie to work with him. Or versa vice.
    Lisa: Versa vice?
    Leyla: I always say it that way.
    Lisa: Anyway. PEPE AND FOZZIE SINGING A LOVE SONG? This, I gotta see.
    Leyla: <laughs> Good point.
    Nyssa: <reads Muppet book aloud>
    Leyla: She's distracted all ready. How could she be so cruel?
    Nyssa: Well, at least she's not typing out the whole story I'm reading...

    Leyla: I wonder which beast they're talking about, really. There's so many beasts on The Muppet Show... <distracted by Nyssa reading>
    Lisa: I don't know if they're specifically talking about-
    Leyla: <about book> Isn't that nice? Not how LISA would end it.
    Nyssa: <mocking how I would end it> "And they all died in a horrible plane accident!"
    Me: <stops typing that conversation, especially them talking about my corrected typos...> Like I was saying. <ahem> I don't know if they're specifically talking about a Muppet Show beast. I think we're living- er, the act is living- inside of Beauty and the Beast. Hence, not a Muppet Show beast. Although Sweetums could make a great Beast...
    Nyssa: You know, this is gonna take a REALLY long time if she types our entire conversations...

    Lisa: Shtick! Kudos!
    Nyssa: Horrible.
    Leyla: Don't be unkind!
    Nyssa: I shall be unkind if I feel like being unkind.
    Leyla: Well, at least LISA'S kind. Poor Fozzie. He's such a kind bear. He deserves a little in return. ...I love how she capitalizes her own name. Such an important word.
    Nyssa: Well, she's emphasizing your emphasis.
    Leyla: <plays with pronunciation of emphasis>

    Leyla: Does anybody?
    Lisa: Not most.
    Nyssa: SERIOUSLY. You're not gonna ACTUALLY do that. I mean, that's what, SIX words? You're not gonna wait for another line?
    Leyla: I'm gonna have to go to a confessional after this. "Bless me, Father, for I have tortured my friend..." <continues discussing how this is how HER reviews get this long>
    Lisa: You think I don't enjoy this? You have NO idea how fun it is to watch you two laugh at me. Prawnie's the funny one, you know. I've gotta get the laughs where I can.
    Nyssa: Yeah, right!
    Leyla: He's not the ONLY funny half. No half is an island.
    Nyssa and Leyla: <discuss the contagiousness of the word "Hokay.">
    Leyla: She's good at catching her typos...
    Nyssa and Leyla: <discuss how random this review will be to anyone other than us>
    Nyssa: Of COURSE I have a tolerance for random, but this is taking a REALLY LONG TIME.

    Lisa: I love the looking around. And now they're talking about me going line by line.
    Nyssa: I'm waiting for that line that's just ONE word, and she STILL-
    Leyla: Well, if it's a really GOOD word...
    Nyssa and Leyla: <discuss one word sentences, leading to Nyssa trying to spell a word on her leg without any ink>
    Leyla: I'm amazed about how long she can REMEMBER what we've said...
    Nyssa and Leyla: <discuss my editing choices>
    Nyssa: I just keep talking, that's the problem.
    Leyla: We need to laugh and crack up more, so she can have a chance to catch up...

    Nyssa: Ah, yes. BRILLIANT idea. See, I just looked ahead...
    Leyla: Oh, is THAT how you do that? I don't NEED to look ahead. I just guess, and I'm usually right.
    Lisa: We call that "Leyla-ing." Fun to do. Annoying if you're the one being Leyla'd.
    Leyla: Indeed, it used to be PULLING a Leyla, but we shortened it. I'm a verb now.
    Nyssa: <vents about me typing EVERYTHING>
    Leyla: <feels guilty>
    Nyssa: And yet, she just keeps going... Not paying any mind to us, and OUR feelings... so self-centered, that one!
    Leyla: I'll tell ya!
    Me: <just keeps grinning>
    Leyla: "I'll tell ya." Do I REALLY say that?
    Nyssa: Apparently. <continues laughing too hard to breathe>

    Lisa: We all ready talked about this.
    Leyla: Oh, there's a QUOTE button! I didn't know that. I've just been typing out "quote" ...Very tiring.
    Nyssa and Leyla: <discuss quoting habits>

    Nyssa: Does he really have that much hair? It's just sort of a tuft.
    Leyla: I love that tuft.
    Nyssa: Is it really enough to push out of the way?
    Lisa: Yes.
    Leyla and Nyssa: <talking more about Pepe...>
    Leyla: You know, as much as Pepe can be... sleezy? He's really as much of a dreamer as any other Muppet.
    Leyla and Nyssa: <discuss me contributing to the conversation by typing instead of actually contributing>
    Leyla: I think there's an A in "sleezy..."
    Leyla and Nyssa: <go on a Simpsons tangent that started with Nyssa's camera. I don't get it either.>

    Nyssa: She has to go back and REMIND us... Oh- oh- THREE words!
    Leyla: Fozzie is so succinct in his response. Maybe we should follow in his footsteps. "Oh."
    Lisa: <typing "succinct"> DON'T USE WORDS I CAN'T SPELL!
    Leyla: Oh- sorry- Oh, you spelled it right, anyway.
    Lisa: Oh okay.
    Leyla and Nyssa: <discuss big words that are hard to spell>
    Leyla: Poor Lisa...

    Lisa: STAGE RIGHT! Theater terminology! Good Prawnie.
    Nyssa: Creeeeepy... For the girl, anyway.
    Leyla: Ooh, I think Piggy's coming! ...I looked ahead now...
    Nyssa and Leyla: <go back to a tangent conversation that some how leads to Leyla saying that Canada can have thirteen months of winter in a year... I STILL don't get it either. Now they're talking about heritage? Oy...>

    Lisa: Roaring applause again!
    Nyssa: VERY humble.
    Lisa: ...<forgets what happened next>... CURSES! They talk too fast!
    Nyssa: Maybe you just type too slow!
    Lisa: I'd like to see YOU type faster! See? HA! You CAN'T! You can't even type AS fast!
    Leyla: Oh, she's snarking at you through type.
    Nyssa: Snark?
    Leyla: You've never heard snark? It's a very handy word.
    Nyssa: It has hands.
    Leyla: You have to be careful with it, though. It's the Gonzo of words.
    Nyssa and Leyla: <go onto hilarious tangent of mispronouncing words> <happen to get a pretty good reaction from me> <proceed to compliment my memory>
    Leyla: Well- You're genereous with your reactions, Lisa. <sings "Poor poor Lisa" to tune from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat>
    Leyla, Lisa, and Nyssa: <go into Joseph tangent>

    Leyla: OH, nice accent.
    Nyssa: Oh, hamming. She's not gonna like that at ALL.
    Leyla: Really? I thought she would've LOVED that. No, I'm not sarcastic at all. Although, Belle IS French for beauty. It's not French for belle. <goes onto tangent about French translations and is then distracted by my purse>
    Nyssa: AT least she doesn't type out the whole thing anymore, she just says we're going out on a tangent...
    Leyla: <agrees, and is then distracted by my dog>

    Leyla: She's still in her acting mode. Good for her. I'm sure she's plotting revenge as we speak...
    Lisa: <notes that, as noted earlier, she did NOT like the "hamming.">
    Leyla: Please make a note of this.
    <General giggling>
    Nyssa: Perhaps you should use a notebook.
    Leyla: That's a note-worthy idea.
    Nyssa: Leave a little NOTice.
    Leyla: NOthing's gonna stop us now! At least it's not snow-ticed. <sees me typing> Oh, no. Oh SNOW!
    Lisa: <censors the rest, don't mind us>
    Leyla: She's protecting the innocent!
    Nyssa: <click> There's a LOVELY picture of Lisa exhausted from all this typing.
    Leyla: She's gonna sleep good tonight. ...She might not make it to tonight, really.
    Lisa: Prawnie, PLEASE appreciate this. PLEASE. I beg you.

    Lisa: That's not wise.
    Leyla: <laughs> I like that.
    Nyssa: No, it's not.
    Lisa: <reflects that our spoken conversations are no easier to follow than those on MSN>

    Nyssa: Oh that's unusual.
    Leyla: Oh, she MISSED? That's unusual. Maybe she's distracted. Maybe she's been listening to us.
    Nyssa: Maybe she's expecting someone taller.
    Lisa: ...Taller than Pepe, shorter than Fozzie.
    Leyla: Maybe she's thinking Kermit had a growth spurt.
    Nyssa: But would she REALLY karate-chop Ker- well...
    Leyla: Well- she has before. In fact, they're kind of- on the rocks in this story, really, aren't they? I think? On the rocks. Like- gin, or something.
    Nyssa and Leyla: <wonder at my balance on a ball>
    Leyla: Great- now I sound like an alcoholic...
    Nyssa: You know, sometimes I don't even remember you saying that stuff, but you must've, because... it's right there...
    Nyssa and Leyla: <discuss me typing what they say, and then tangenting on Nyssa not reading the story>
    Nyssa: There were many more tangents in that tangent, but...
    Leyla: Let's not get on a tangent about tangents.
    Nyssa: But I LOVE tangents! They only touch the circle at one point-
    Lisa: AH! MATH!

    <Ahem> Here, we took an intermission to actually talk to Prawnie. Or at least, we TRIED to... I tried to... The other two just sort of kept tangenting... And singing... And then Beau told Nyssa to slap Leyla, so we're escaping to here again.
    Leyla: We're gonna be good now.
    Lisa: ...Mm-hm.

    Leyla: Yeah? She's a pig.
    Nyssa: Wow. That kinda rhymed...
    Leyla: Miss Piggy's been with the Muppets long enough to know that EVERYTHING can talk. And sing, and dance, and star in Broadway musicals.
    Nyssa: Yes, well, she's "in character," here, she's acting.
    Leyla: But they break the fourth wall often enough...
    Nyssa: Poor fourth wall. Always getting broken.
    Leyla: Must be made of glass, for how often it gets broken.
    Lisa: <refering to earlier discussion> WELL, people keep throwing rocks at it!
    Leyla and Nyssa: <go on tangent about throwing rocks at glass buildings>

    Lisa: HAAAAAAA!
    Nyssa: ...That's the... teacup... teapot... I don't get how that's supposed to be funny. Maybe it's this line by line thing, that I'm losing...
    Leyla and Nyssa: <discuss... Please don't ask what. Something about Beauty and the Beast, and... Yeah.>

    Leyla: The CHEF is Mrs. Potts?
    Nyssa: <understands why it's funny now>
    Leyla and Nyssa: <discuss how I found Mrs. Potts funny before Chef's entrance, and then go on to discuss their mental images of Chef as Mrs. Potts, and then see me typing>
    Nyssa: She was looking ahead, wasn't she?
    Leyla: I don't know, I think it's a half thing. I have a lot of faith in the half thing.
    Lisa: ...<shakes head as they go on various tangents about how long this is taking> Anyway, I still notice the theater language, and enjoy it. Anyway.
    Lisa: ...Don't ask. That's something with their tangenting.
    Leyla: You know, it's really a toss-up as to whether Lisa or Prawnie will not survive this post. ONe of them is definitely not going to make it.
    Nyssa: Well, I think Lisa's hands will fall off, and Prawnie will just die outright.
    Leyla: That's good. I'll take you up on that bet. And then we can divvy up their stuff again afterwards.
    Nyssa: And then you can get... What's-his-name back... Dave...
    Lisa: <GLARES at rebellious portions of the fraction>

    Lisa: <hysterical laughter>
    Leyla: Ohhh, THIS is gonna be good...
    Nyssa: No... this is gonna be bad... explosions and...
    Leyla: Yes, two dangerous chemicals to put together...
    Lisa: <continues typing while they go on a Chemistry tangent. Math, Chemistry... I thought this was summer?>

    Lisa: HAha! She would so say that!
    Leyla: She WOULD so say that.
    Nyssa: <feeling arbitrary> Nah... I disagree.
    Leyla: She must be feeling pretty calm there...

    Leyla: Oh, he's a POET now! And he didn't even realize he had this capability, hokay? ...There's a reason I don't do voices.
    Nyssa: No. I don't even try. <binds her hands in camera wrist strap> Take me away!

    Lisa: Romantical!
    Leyla: Oh, romantical, I LOVE that! ...So un-grammatical, but so fun. Yes, fun trumps grammar, in my book.
    Nyssa: Artistic license. ...Write-istic license.

    Leyla: <laughs> Yeah, don't- don't belittle him.
    Lisa: I like that.
    Nyssa: <mumbles about the edges of my desk>

    Leyla: YAY! See, and she lasted at LEAST four minutes longer than I would've given her.
    Nyssa: Is that four minutes our time, or four minutes play time? Because I don't THINK it was four minutes...
    Leyla: It was four minutes METRIC time, try and figure THAT out!
    Nyssa: Ah! Metric!

    Lisa: Perfect ending.
    Leyla: That is the SWEETEST ending.
    Nyssa: Meh- it ends.
    Leyla: So cynical!
    Nyssa: I'll go sit with Statler, and Waldorf.
    Leyla: I can arrange that...

    Nyssa: Hey, you DID arrange that. And you didn't even look ahead.
    Leyla: Yes, that's kind of like pulling a Leyla, except-
    Nyssa: Yeah, how do you do that?
    Leyla: <discusses Leylaing, ending with, "You don't often kill Kermit."> <Then comments on spelling of Leylaing>
    Nyssa: <wasn't paying attention>

    Lisa: Liar.
    Leyla: Yup. Kermit's said it before- "Okay, I lie a little..."
    Nyssa: What number's that? Nine?

    Nyssa: I hope he doesn't eat it.
    Leyla: This "lying" stuff's contagious.
    Lisa: Spy! Rizzo's spying! Adjusting the budget to buy nothing but food, no doubt.
    Leyla: I'm surprised it took him THIS long to come up with a plan like that...

    Leyla: Oh! Hi, Piggy.
    Nyssa: Where did LINK come from? I don't remember him there.
    Leyla: Oh, he's there. He's always there.
    Nyssa: What, does she carry him around in a pocket or something? I don't even know if she WANTS him there...
    Leyla: She doesn't. But it's the only way to win back her fro-
    Lisa: <trying to catch up> Time out!
    Leyla: ...I love this power she has.
    Nyssa: You know, there's only four time out's in a game.
    Lisa: HUSH!
    Leyla: How many hushes?
    Nyssa: I don't know, but she's all ready used one "Stop!"
    Lisa: <is being heckled> I feel like a Muppet.
    Nyssa: You brought it upon yourself! ...What's with the random J?
    Lisa: What J?
    Nyssa: <reads> "Muppet.j" ?
    Lisa: Oh. <fixes>
    Nyssa: You channeling Jim there? "I feel like a Muppet- Jim."
    Lisa: ...That would be awesome.
    Nyssa: ...Perhaps... Could be creepifying, too.
    Lisa: ...Those two things often go together. Like insanity and genius.
    Nyssa: <starts singing, and then complains about a distant car alarm>
    Nyssa and Lisa: <start dancing to car alarm> <...don't ask>
    Nyssa: Why not? It's the only sound...

    Nyssa: Um... That's- NOT a good review.
    Leyla: He's playing with fire!
    Nyssa: I DON'T think she's gonna like that.
    Lisa: I mean, come on, that was the best he could do? Kermit comes up with lists of the top ten things!
    Leyla: Good point. In reverse order!

    Nyssa: Ah, classic.
    Leyla: You know, what I like about Piggy is her sense of humor.
    Lisa: I love the complete OPPOSITE reactions we get from two Frank characters. ...Eric characters now?
    Leyla: Oh, that's a good point...

    <Leyla and Lisa laugh>
    Leyla: When Harry Met Sal... Oh, great...
    Nyssa and Leyla: <start discussing movies>

    Lisa: I LOVE the casting.
    Nyssa: On his desk? That's not a very smart idea.
    Leyla: Kermit snapped. He's become a graffiti artist!
    Lisa: ...Leyla, you're on a board of writers. I all ready enjoy heartwrenching, especially in cases of making the Muppets HORRIBLY poor and taking them out of show biz... Don't give me ideas, okay?
    Leyla: Oh, no... She would do it, too! It wouldn't even be that far away from... Oh, my gosh- she could put it in another story, and it would make sense...
    Lisa: <too busy typing for standard comment! GAH!>
    Nyssa: I don't see Kermit as a graffiti artist. He doesn't have quite the personality for it...
    Leyla: Well... I could see him doing it for like, a good cause...
    Nyssa: For a good cause? Graffiti for cancer!
    Leyla: Spraypaint for the cure!

    Leyla: That's what frogs do.
    Nyssa: Yes, it is part of their nature.
    Leyla: It wouldn't take too much to make him jump.
    Nyssa: ...It would take a lot more to make him HOPPING MAD.
    Leyla: <comments on it being an old joke>
    Nyssa: Yeah, that's not TMI or... wait...
    Lisa: MTI.
    Nyssa: Yeah, that.
    Leyla: Of all the acronyms to mix up...
    Lisa: What I was GOING to say before that pun is that frogs hop more than they jump. Not nearly as funny anymore.
    Leyla: Poor Lisa. ...I am a fountain of pity.
    Lisa: Me? Poor? I'm not the one who paid for the plane ticket.
    Leyla: <laughs and claps> I think she's got me there.

    Lisa: AH HA HA HAAAAA! <louder and higher-pitched>
    Nyssa: ...Ow. ...Those WERE my ears...
    Leyla: All that, and Kermit still managed to pwn us. ...I just used internet-speech outloud. <sees me type that> You're a CRUEL beloved mentor.
    Lisa: This really shouldn't be news.
    Leyla: <laughs>
    Nyssa: True...
    Leyla: What can I say to that, eh?
    Lisa: I SWEAR we didn't look ahead, by the way.
    Leyla: No, we didn't. We were surprised.
    Nyssa: ...So we Leyla'd.
    Leyla: Well, your first time is always the most exciting.
    Nyssa: I'm so excited!
    Leyla: Nice face...
    Lisa: <looks>
    Nyssa: You missed it.
    Lisa: ...

    Lisa: Ooh. Conflict. Conflict!
    Nyssa: Conflict. Conflict. What's the conflict? Why are we conflicting?
    Leyla: Skeeter, and Clifford. <hand gestures> Conflict.
    Nyssa: ...
    Leyla: Well- ...Just read the story...
    Nyssa: I'm lost.
    Lisa: Have you tried Harry Krishna?
    Nyssa: I don't have his number.
    Leyla: It's mine, all mine! I'll never give it up! And I don't know how I got it in the first place.
    Nyssa: Magic?

    Lisa: Lying!
    Leyla: Yay! Sometimes, I like it when he lies!
    Nyssa: For a moment there, I thought you said Lion...
    Leyla and Nyssa: <distinguish between lion and Lyan>
    Lisa: <points> The lying returned. Lots of lying. Lies. Lies! I'm slaphappy at the moment, I'm on very little sleep and getting hungry and hyper and WHEEEE!
    Nyssa and Leyla: <quote Simpsons>

    Leyla: Ohhhh. She's after ALL of 'em now. <Goes about explaining the story to Nyssa>
    Nyssa: Who needs honesty? VIOLENCE is the best answer. "Sticks and stones may break your bones, and I REALLY WANT THEM TO!"
    Lisa: ...OR, we could just acknowledge that she REALLY wants Clifford to win her back all ready, what with Camilla and Janice both being willing to take their respective men back? ...Or, you could continue tangenting about the word "stupider"...
    Leyla: I'm gonna go with option B.
    Nyssa: Yes. Me too.
    Lisa: I'm gonna keep reading.
    Leyla: Good girl.
    Nyssa: What would you wanna go and do a silly thing like that for?
    Lisa: ...<blink> Conflicting opinions here... <consults with VIM> <continues reading>

    Lisa: MORE LIES!
    Leyla: Ooh! Kermit!
    Nyssa: It's like a plague! Bubonic, here...
    Leyla: If he was getting struck by lightning every time, he'd be fricassed by now!
    Nyssa: They'd have to sell him as French Fried Frog Legs- that's all that'd be left!
    Leyla: Yes, and Doc Hopper wouldn't have any work to do.
    Lisa: ...MOR-BID!
    Nyssa: Of course, he would've lost his mascot...
    Lisa: <feels sick>
    Leyla: Poor Lisa. She's killed him, you know...
    Lisa: I'm censoring the rest of that conversation. It is true, I killed Doc Hopper. <Cough.> There's a reason. Moving on.

    Leyla: Storage closet? Who locked 'em in there?
    Nyssa: I hope it's a big storage closet, but even if it is, there's probably a whole bunch of stuff in there...
    Leyla and Nyssa: <discuss that the Muppets wouldn't need much storage space, seeing as anything they try to keep is soon blown up, eaten, etc.>

    Nyssa: We're almost there! So close, the anticipation is KILLING me!
    Leyla: No that's me! <pretends to kill Nyssa>
    Lisa: ...<shakes head>
    Nyssa, Leyla, and Lisa: <go on tangent about Nyssa's habit of dying on a daily basis>

    Leyla: Oh, look, it's the Simpons!
    Nyssa: I could've SWORN that said morgue...
    Lisa: <surrounded by morbidity>

    Nyssa: Oh, no, she's found the one words! She's finally found the fun words to comment on! It's not even fun words, like spadoinkle!
    Leyla: Marge, Sam, Marge, Sam, this CAN'T be GOOD!
    Lisa: <bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy>
    Leyla: She IS bouncy.
    Nyssa: She does.
    Leyla: Looks fun.
    Nyssa: Can be. I found it more amusing when she was doing wild frog sitting on the thing... <they continue discussing me sitting on the ball, and then tangent about me typing everything they say>
    Lisa: While they ramble about the time difference within the room, can I just say that if this is the scene I think it is, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! Really really!
    Leyla: Aw... She's so excited- about what?
    Nyssa: Oh. She's excited about what's to come.
    Leyla: Oh- the ending?
    Nyssa: Yeah... <reads what I typed aloud>
    Leyla: ....Ohhhh.... OHH! No WONDER she's excited! I'm excited, too!
    Nyssa: NO idea what's going on...
    Lisa: Hi excited too, I'm Insane A. Sylum... Anyway. <BOUNCY! while they continue rambling about me and the ball and typos and goodness knows what else>

    Leyla: Oh, NO! I'm experiencing emotions, too, and not good ones!
    Nyssa: NO idea what's going on...
    [Now here, Layla started singing, and then one of my minds fell in the gutter, and then I did one of my exceedingly amusing laughs, and... yeah.]
    Leyla: <notes that laughter kills Nyssa>

    Lisa: Oh, dear.
    Nyssa: Is this going where I THINK this is going? Because... It's a bit risque for... MC...
    Leyla: If it was Beau, I'd be more worried, because he LIKES odd pairings...
    Nyssa: I don't even know who Marge is...
    Lisa: Kermit's Aunt.
    Leyla: Yes, and she's... mean, and- really, well-suited for Sam.
    Nyssa: Ah.
    Leyla: And she's puce. <Discuss what color puce is>

    Leyla: WHAT are they READING? ...I can see Sam taking someone to the library on a date.
    Nyssa: I don't think I WANNA know what they're reading!
    Leyla: Emotions- maybe it's the U.S. Constitution.
    Lisa: "Lovebird and frog." I like that a lot. A lot a lot. And elderly woman with glasses... I like that too.
    Leyla: Lovebird. That IS cute. I like that.
    Nyssa: So would their kids be flying frogs?
    Lisa, Leyla, and Nyssa: <discuss potential offspring of various Muppet pairings>
    Leyla: A chick-ever? A What-icken?
    Nyssa: A What-icken. I LOVE that, a what-icken! ...It's even better typed!
    Leyla and Nyssa: <discuss having defibulator at the ready for Prawnie>

    <varying amounts of laughter/amusement>
    Leyla: I think they're just reading a book, or something...
    Lisa: Something? You need to- wait, I'll censor myself. I won't nag in another author's thread. ...<Ahem> At least I'll try.
    Leyla: How subtle. I'm on vacation, now! ...She's gonna turn it into a working vacation...
    Nyssa: For BOTH of us. Slavedriver. Take out the whip-
    Leyla: I do find it amusing that we're complaining and SHE'S the one doing the typing.
    Nyssa: Although, if she does take out the whip, we'll just take it out right back at her.
    Lisa: <glance>
    Leyla: I dunno, that's a SCARY look... I don't think I could hold my own!
    <Leyla and Nyssa observe my fondness for the phrase "Peoples is Peoples," and discuss whether or not "Peoples" is really a word.>

    Nyssa: He ran away. Ran for the hills! He finally figured out they're all crazy.
    Lisa: Who's crazy- the Muppets, or the hills?
    Nyssa: Um... The hills!
    Leyla: Yes.
    Lisa: I thought so.
    <we spontaneously burst into song>

    Leyla: Oh, Beau's here.
    Nyssa: Oh, nice of him to show up.
    Leyla: Hi Beau.
    Nyssa: It's a little late for him- he all ready left.
    <Nyssa and Leyla discuss how frequently I almost misspell Leyla, which leads us to aliens who come from a planet that apparently only I can spell>

    Lisa: When is he?
    Nyssa: Is he naked? ...How does Bean Bunny know?
    <We discuss Kermit's nudity>

    Lisa: I hope so! Win the girls back!
    Leyla: Goooooooo Kermit! ...And others.
    Nyssa: <sings> I don't know what's going on any more... I'm so confused with all these scene changes...
    Leyla: Sometimes that HELPS with Muppets.
    Lisa: No one would know that better than you, Protege.
    Leyla: Yay! I got a CAPITAL P.
    Lisa: <shifty eyes> <cough> "Don't... worry..." <cough>
    Leyla: <attempts to strangle me>
    Nyssa: <is baffled>
    Leyla: Ohhhh... You're so LUCKY I'm non-violent! Evil fiend! Such a tease. <to Nyssa> They played a cruel trick on me one time, you see...
    Lisa: ONE time? You sell us short, and I'm short enough as it is.
    Leyla: ...All right, so it's their number two hobby after writing stories to TORMENT me!
    Nyssa: How rude.
    Leyla: <describes the torment>
    Nyssa: <describes the horror of lining torment in general>
    Leyla, Nyssa, and Lisa: <discuss the terrible dishonor of making up fake lines for lining> <AHEM> <glares> <especially at Beau>

    Leyla: Matzi? He wants to spell moxie, I think... It's like chutzpah.
    Lisa: It's yiddish. He gets kuddos for trying.
    Leyla: He does, he does...
    Nyssa: Yeah, now it's just a cheese joke... He's a mozarella stick, that frog, such a mozarella stick.
    <laughter ensues>

    Leyla: I have a bad feeling about this...
    Nyssa: I hope she's clothed.
    Leyla: Good point.
    Lisa: I just love how excited she is.
    Nyssa: I like how she recedes, too. I just picture her walking backwards into the room-
    Leyla: Melting back- <fun hand gestures>
    Lisa: Lovely diction, really.

    Leyla: Oh... Link!
    Nyssa: Horribly unpublic.
    Leyla: He was throttling Marge not too long ago for getting him into this... Horribly wembly, for a pig...
    <We discuss fun diction, particularly Nyssa's, and then criticize a typo of mine that leads us to propose an experiment to test the wembliness of frogs vs. pigs>

    Nyssa: Uh-oh.
    Leyla: Heeeeeere it comes....... OH, I'm a happy Leyla.
    <we wonder if Prawnie will update again tonight and make us do all of this again. OY! Or, worse, that he ziffles us with a new chapter...>

    Lisa: Why not play it?
    Nyssa: Should he really be sitting ON the piano? I mean, really, makes it hard to PLAY it...
    Leyla: Rowlf has more sense than- Oh- wait- I can't say it in your presence, can I? Oh well, I'm sticking with it! Rowlf has more sense than any of the other Muppets.
    Lisa: But why have sense when it's more profitable to have dollars? See, it doesn't WORK as well with "have" as with "make"...
    Leyla: That's true. But that hasn't stopped you in the past.
    Lisa: Never said it did.

    Leyla: Ooooh... Robin...
    Nyssa: Poor little frog, gettin' dragged into this.
    Leyla: You have no idea. That frog deserves a medal. And all the flies he can eat. And a vacation to a big swamp. ...And a happy ending in at least ONE of Lisa's stories.
    Lisa: <scrunchy face> As I was going to say. <ahem> ROBIN! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

    Leyla: Go Robin!
    Lisa: I love that frog.
    Leyla: Really? <Gasp!>
    Lisa: Yep, really. Astonishing, I know, he's only in my avatar and an important character in most all of my stories and-
    Leyla: <muses over "most all">

    Nyssa: I KNEW he was gonna wait till the next chapter.
    Leyla: He's a good prawn.
    Nyssa: So rude. Not that I care...
    Leyla: You should! You should read.
    Lisa: Leyla, if you can convince that foot to read, I'll give you TWO MUtB's.
    Nyssa: So, would that be a silent B?

    Leyla: <provides dramatic music>
    Nyssa: <amused>
    Nyssa: We made it to the end. And we survived. I think we deserve a cookie.
    Leyla: Lisa does, at least.
    Lisa: Well, considering Mom just announced dinner time, I'd say we deserve more meal than cookie. But while you two ramble about mutinees and Muppets and pirates, let me just say- MORE PLEASE, PRAWNIE, MORE PLEASE! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

  19. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Finishes... Time in! A "J" inMuppet? Uh-oh Lisa's asking about what a J. Henson is again! Of course she killed Doc Hopper, she did it in Chasing Robin. *Laughs at Lisa trying to keep up with the remainin fractions staying at her house of madness. They'll be good? Yeah fright.
    *Continues reading. Hey, get yourselves out of the gutter... And back into the writing room to post more of your own stories. That storage closet's where Kermit and others were locked up during the pigs' takeover of the show. Not to mention Gonzo was locked in there recently for destroying part of Prawny's dorm room.

    *Ends the triple threats' post.
    KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! *Reading room explodes.
    Well, good thing Prawny wasn't here. He can't be hurt or else there'd be no more story.
  20. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Okay, big closing number coming... and, well... it's just that, big. Enjoy ladies and germs! :D

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