Chapter 21 Aunt Marge scooted closer to Sam, who moved farther away, feeling most uncomfortable. "Um, excuse me madame... but this is making me feel rather uncomfortable..." "Tell me I’m the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen!" Marge said, flinging herself at Sam. Sam distinctly moved out of the way of the flinging frog. "I can not do that." "Why not? Tell auntie she’s pretty!" Aunt Marge said. "Yes, you are, my puce... peach..." Sam said. "But not the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Aunt Marge frowned and sat back down. "What is then?" Sam stood up straight and placed his right wing over his heart. "Old Glory herself." "There’s another woman?" Aunt Marge shouted. "Named Gloria?" "The American flag, my dear," Sam said. "...Odd," Aunt Marge said. "Yet normal." "Mm, that is what I attempt to go for, yes," Sam said. "Oh, Sammy," Aunt Marge swooned. "Take me home." "Ooh, yes, you’re right!" Sam said. "If we hurry, we may still catch the end of the Congress meeting on C-SPAN!" "You really know how to win over a frog, Sammy," Aunt Marge said. <~><~><~><~><~> Kermit crossed his legs and smiled up at the stage from his seat in the front row. Rowlf’s paws began to roll across the piano keys. Miss Piggy bumped into Kermit looking for an empty seat, not realizing it was him, and him not realizing it was her. "Oh, excuse moi," Piggy said. "Oh sorry miss," Kermit said. Their eyes met. "Kermit?" Miss Piggy whispered. "Hi Piggy," Kermit said. Piggy’s bottom lip quivered and she ran off. Kermit watched her go into the darkness of the theater. On stage, Clifford, Gonzo, and Floyd moved to the front of the stage, the light filling a small circle around them. Each of them was decked out in a finely pressed tuxedo, and Clifford even took his sunglasses off. "This one’s for you, Camilla," Gonzo said out into the audience. "And you, Skeeter," Clifford said. "And Janice," Floyd added. "We have been gay Going our way Life has been beautiful We have been young," Gonzo sang. "After you’ve gone Life will go on," Clifford sang. "Like an old song We have sung," Floyd sang. Rowlf pressed down harder on the keys, moving into a brief musical bridge. Camilla, Janice, and Skeeter all sat out in the audience, dumbfounded, tears twinkling in each of their eyes. "When I grow too old to dream I’ll have you to remember," all three of them harmonized. "When I grow too old to dream Your love will live in my heart." "So kiss me My sweet," Gonzo sang. "And so let us part." "And when I grow too old to dream That kiss will live in my heart," the three of them sang. Floyd pulled his guitar out of nowhere and moved to the front, strumming it, changing the melody to a different song. "No one to talk with All by myself," Floyd sang. "No one to walk with But I’m happy on the shelf. "Ain’t misbehavin’ Savin’ my love for you." Zoot made his way on stage with the saxophone, adding back up for Floyd. "Thanks, man," Floyd whispered. "I know for certain The one I love I’m through with flirtin’ It’s just you I’m dreamin’ of. "Ain’t misbehavin’ Savin’ my love for you," Floyd sang. "Black Jack Horner, in the corner Don’t go nowhere, what do I care? Your kisses are worth waitin’ for Believe me. "Don’t stay out late Don’t care to go I’m home about eight Just me and my radio. "Ain’t misbehavin’ Savin’ my love for you." Floyd moved back, letting Clifford move into the spotlight, as Rowlf resumed the piano. "I’ve been livn’ with a shadow overhead I’ve been sleepin’ with a cloud above my bed I’ve been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on," Clifford sang. "I’ve been hidin’ all my hopes and dreams away Just in case I need ‘em again someday I’ve been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind. "All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can’t make it through without a way back into love. Floyd picked up again with the guitar, strumming along with Rowlf on the piano, both of them picking up tempo. "I’ve been watchin’ but the stars refuse to shine I’ve been searchin’ but I just don’t see the signs I know that it’s out there There’s gotta be somethin’ for my soul somewhere. "I’ve been lookin’ for someone to shed some light Not somebody just to get me through the night I could use some direction And I’m open to your suggestions. "All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can’t make it through without a way back to love And if I open my heart again I guess I’m hopin’ you’ll be there for me in the end!" Clifford put all his passion into the last note. With the tempo still in the last notes of the song, Clifford and Gonzo swapped places. This time, Animal began to drum along with Gonzo’s singing. "I’m strange and you’re strange Don’t want you to change No way," Gonzo sang. "How can I explain Flyin’ to the sun without a plane When you’re here. "And don’t you worry ‘bout me babe ‘Cause I’m right here For you to say. "Hope you know you inspire me You’re a flower and I’m a bee I need you. "All this you do for free Gimme hope and I can see You’re so true. "And don’t you worry ‘bout me, babe ‘Cause I’m right there For you to say." The music began to slow down again, and Floyd and Clifford moved upstage on either side of Gonzo, Floyd still strumming the guitar, Rowlf still ticking the ivories, and Animal still banging the drums. "Yes, when we grow too old to dream We’ll have you to remember," all three of them sang, coming to the closing of the song. "And when we grow too old to dream Your kisses will live in our hearts. "Oh, when we grow too old to dream Your love... will live in... our hearts." Silence. Dead silence. Not a sound was made throughout the theater. Clifford, Gonzo, and Floyd stood on the stage, looking out into the audience, waiting. Little did they know, the audience was waiting too. Waiting for Skeeter, Camilla, and Janice to react. Finally, Skeeter shot out of her seat. "Clifford, take me back!" she shouted, tears flying from her eyes. "Brawk bawk byuck bawk brawk bawk bawk!" Camilla clucked loudly. "Like, Floyd, please!" Janice shouted. The three of them took off out of their seats and ran up to the stage. The audience moved them along with a standing ovation as they passed through each row. When they reached the band pit, Rowlf helped each of them up into it, and Dr. Teeth assisted them onto the stage. Each girl ran into their respective man’s arms. "Oh you did it," Skeeter said, pecking Clifford on the cheek. "You did it." Gonzo looked around at the couples, his arm wrapped around Camilla. "We did it!" he shouted wildly. "Thanks, ya’ll!" Clifford said to the audience. "We’ll see ya’ll next time on ‘The Muppet Show’! Heh, heh!" "Whoo! Whoo!" Waldorf called from the balcony. "Yeah! More! More!" Statler said. "What are we doing?" Waldorf asked. "I think we must be sick," Statler said. "Oh no," Waldorf said. "We’ve caught the love sickness!" Kermit may have been the only person in the theater left sitting. Miss Piggy had successfully floored him. Again.