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Discussion in 'Action Figures' started by GLUE, Sep 4, 2002.
I knew it you let the monkeys have too much sugar! It's Monkey anarchy. Abandon ship!!!!!
Shut your pie hole
Now get back to work.
dang - that's what I get for working on the west coast and being stuck in a meeting. Missed lunch...
Man, you guys got a sweet gig....Me? I am tied to my cube with a 3 foot rope as usual.......
3 foot rope..?
I... don't... understand...
OKay, I am moving this fantastic story (brought to us by Lu775) to this thread, seeing as we seem to be making it our home:
Fade in to the bedroom of Super Dancin' Travis (SDT). He
lays in bed, sleeping...pan to the bedside table, framed picture
of Ken (autographed, 'natch), and a clockradio at 11:59am. As it clicks to noon the alarm goes off (It's raining men blasts from the radio)
SDT: grumble, moan
SDT pulls his pillow over his head, unhappy to be woken from his slumber. The window blind snaps open, bright sunlight filling the room and we hear more incoherent moaning from SDT.
Cut to the kitchen, an automated coffee maker clicks on, and starts to brew. The smell of fresh coffee wafts over to the bedroom slowly coaxing SDT from the bed. He makes he way to the kitchen and grabs a cup of coffee, or 3.
Cut to, SDT up, out, dressed, walking into work. Happily singing "I'm too sexy" while in the elevator, the doors open and he enters the office.
Walking purposfully to the staff kitchen, he takes a bag of microwave popcorn from the cupboard. He puts it in the microwave and sets it to "high" for 5 minutes. After 4 minutes the bag begins to flame. The overwhelming smell of burnt popcorn permeates the entire office. Smoke billows from the microwave.
SDT: My work here is done.
SDT makes he way back home for a quick nap. Awake now, and visibly refreshed he pops a couple invincibility pills, and takes to the streets in his "super" persona.
He walks through creepy alleyways...in the obviously seedy side of town. Pan over to a line of people waiting for an ATM machine.
An unsavoury character also watching the ATM line....
SDT: This looks like a job for Super Dancing Travis!
SDT approaches the ATM line, and bursts into a medly of his greatest hits! Fancy footwork dazzles the crowd! The unsavoury character that was going to mug the ATM line gets confused by all the dancing and goes home. SDT Saves the Day!!!!
Old woman: God bless you Super Dancing Travis!
Episode One. The End.
And now, without further ado, Episode 2:
Interior, Bedroom of Super Dancing Travis (SDT). He awakes from a mid-early-afternoon nap. His helper monkey scampers over to the bed with a danish on a tray.
SDT: Thanks little buddy! Did you bring one for Stewart? Hey, where is Stewart?
SDT begins to search around the apartment. Stewart's bed is empty. SDT heads to the closet and pulls out a large cooler.
SDT: (opening the cooler) Stewart, you in there? (to camera)
You never can be too careful- always make sure a pet isn't trapped in the family cooler.
Visibly worried, SDT checks the kitchen. Stewart's food bowl is empty, but a note sits on it. SDT unfolds the note, which reads:
"Take that you dancin' fool! Now who's got a cool cat?"
SDT: (Shaking his fist in the air) **** you Evil Slim!!!!!
Popping some invincibility pills SDT, in his super persona, takes off, singing of course, to find his catnapped friend. Pounding the streets, he searches for clues...anything that can lead him to Evil Slims lair. As he walks through a dark alley, something catches his eye. Well, his nose acutally....
SDT: (sniffing) Could it be? It is! Evil Slim's tell-tale Dorito scent! I must be near his lair!
Suddenly there is a noise behind him. SDT leaps behind a dumpster to conceal himself. A secret door opens into the alley from the large abandoned building beside it. Two people exit the building. The first, a hot chick. She is followed by someone..
SDT can't make out who it is. He's wearing a knit hat, and a blue crushed velvet outfit. And there's something, something around his neck....what was it?
Hot chick: Come on, let's go! I'm not waiting all day!
The the hot chick tugs a leash, yes a leash, in her hand that's connected to the guys neck. But that's not any leash, that's Stewart's leash! and that's not any guy, it's Evil Slim! As the Hot Chick drags Evil Slim for a walk, SDT manages to grab the door before it shuts. He starts to search the dorito smelling lair for Stewart.
Creeping through Evil Slims hideout, SDT sees something...something square, and furry.
SDT: Stewart? Is that you? where are ya buddy?
peering closer SDT realizes the square furry thing IS Stewart. Evil Slim had shoved him in a gerbil cage!
SDT: A gerbil cage?! How the **** did he fit my 30 pound cat in a gerbil cage? Oooooh that fiend! I'll get him!
SDT pulls the cage apart freeing Stewart. They pause for a celebatory dance.
SDT: (Sings "Just the 2 of Us")
Just then a door slams behind them. Evil Slim is back from his walk!
SDT: did you really think you could get away with this?!
Evil Slim: what are you gonna do about it? Dance at me?
SDT: (to stewart) Lets do it buddy! (they burst into a medley of Tupac rap, gettin' down with their own bad selves.)
Evil Slim: What the?
As Stewart break dances (distracting Evil Slim) SDT ties the end of the leash to a pipe on the wall. And then does a wicked jumping twirly move.
Evil Slim: (Realizing he's tied to the wall) Hey!
SDT: You can keep the leash. But stay away from my cat!
(to stewart) Good job Stewart. Lets go home and take a nap.
Episode 2. End.
Your epidemis is showing
It means skin, dipweed.
ah, this thread is dead.
No...it WILL go on....have faith.....
I do believe, I do!!
I know what to do:
Your epidermis is showing.
it's not quite dead...
in fact it's feeling much better...
"I'm not quite dead"
"Have you ever...in your professional career...saved patients more barely alive?"
"I'll be groovy when I'm dead"
10 burnt popcorn kernels for the first to identify all three quotes (of course, you have to pay the shipping and handling charges for me to fly to Baltimore, scrounge through Palisades garbage, fly back home, and then ship out the kernals to you)
Sorry Travis...I guess my new shoulder line blouse is too revealing. I'll wrap this towel around my neck and burn it as soon as I get home. Is the skirt to much or is that ok for you???
A good way to burn it would be to put it in the microwave for 5 minutes on high.
Or so I've heard.
You can just make your own with the new an approved "Fry that baby up! Popcorn burner™" For only 3 payments of 19.95 you too can burn kernals like nobody's business. With 3 different settings burn, scorch, and hells inferno you'll never have to worry about those stray easy to eat kernals again. Just listen to our customers
"This machine is great, I only used it for a couple seconds and I was pouring my popcorn into a glass"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH put it out, my arm ahhhhhhhh"
Be one of the thousands who have tried the popcorn burner and never looked back, send check or money order to Greg at Palisades, allow 2-3 years for shipping. Fry that baby up! popcorn burner is TM and copyright Travis Allen!
So are you guys still at work sitting three feet away from each other posting, or do you actually do this from home too?
shhhhhh....I wanted an all expense paid trip to see the infamous Maryland den of depraivity!
"What? No, I don't know what happened to that one of a kind Koosebane prototype that was sitting in Ken's office...I only went by the, ummmmmm, kitchen, yeah, that's the ticket"
1: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2: The Princess Bride?
3: i honestly don't know...
Separate names with a comma.