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Muppet Fan-Fic: Don't Trip the Driver

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Fan Art' started by theprawncracker, Oct 23, 2006.

  1. The Count Moderator

    No... That can't be the whole chapter... *Disbelieving, there has to be more to this wonderful chapter and sublime story.
    Liked Johnny telling Sal not to step on his lines.
    Caught the referencial in-joke Zoot made. Nod to anyone we should know about? A special little crazy girl in your life?
    That boss should start watching better quality programming... Spongebob's a wuss, to quote Nick DePalo.
    Death got attacked by the coffee shrub? No, it was just a little squirt, he probably didn't know about the shrub's caffeine contents.

    Nice song, but didn't you use it already Oh, that's fright, it was towards the somewhere part of Heart of Gold. Anyway, thanks for the update, but I know there has to be more and we want it posted soonerishkibbible!
  2. theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 30

    Clifford ducked down beneath the balcony with Daniel at his side. "Man, my knees are killin’ me!"

    "Better than Benny killing you, wouldn’t you say?" Daniel asked.

    Clifford stared at Daniel. "Was that supposed to be a joke?"

    Daniel shook his head. "Not really, no."

    "Good," Clifford said. "‘Cause I’m sure it would put some sort of curse on this balcony here."

    "You believe in curses?" Daniel asked.

    "I believe that we’ll be cursed out if we tell a joke in this balcony," Clifford said.

    Daniel shifted his weight awkwardly. "Oh, you mean those two old guys."

    "Yeah," Clifford nodded. "You say you work for the big boss, right? Think you could do any pushin’ to get them pushin’ up daisies?"

    Daniel raised his eyebrow. "You want them... Dead?"

    "Just lookin’ out for Fozzie."

    "I’m sure," Daniel said.

    "Psst! Keep it down up there!" Scooter shouted from down in the seats.

    "Will you be quiet?!" Skeeter snapped at her twin.

    "Sorry, sorry," Scooter whispered. "Jeez, you can never find an evil villain when you need one..."

    "I could be enough of an evil villain for you, if you don’t shut up!" Deadly sneered from behind the stage curtain.

    The five of them sat spread across the theater in silence.

    Suddenly, the front door burst open and a tall slender figure stood in the doorway. The silhouette of the man at the doorway was holding a scythe in one hand and dangling the body of a short, pudgy man in the other.

    "Deadly," the shrill voice spread across the theater. "I’m home!"

    <X>X<X>

    "NO!" Death demanded.

    "I’m sorry Death, but it’s unavoidable." The Boss crossed her legs.

    "HOW? WHY? IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!" Death argued.

    "Anything is possible my friend. If I will it to be so."

    "WHY WOULD YOU WILL SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO BE TRUE? SOMETHING THIS... OUTRAGEOUS..."

    "You think having Spongebob marry a giant clam for the final episode is outrageous?" The Boss asked.

    "AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO," Death said. "BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER NOW-"

    "Spongebob always matters," The Boss scolded.

    "OF COURSE, BUT NOW, I NEED TO KNOW THE CONDITION OF MY JOB."
    "Your job? What about your job?" The Boss asked.

    "DO I GET TO KEEP IT, AND RETURN TO EARTH, AND SAVE THE MUPPETS?"
    The Boss shrugged. "Do you want to keep your job?"

    "OF COURSE!" Death said. "MANY LIVES AND AFTERLIVES DEPEND ON ME."

    "But do you feel confident that you can take those lives to the afterlife? And also protect yourself and the lives that need to live in the process?" The Boss eyed the skeletal figure.

    Death looked down at the grass growing beneath his feet. "THIS GRASS. THIS GRASS LIVES. EVEN WHEN MY FEET TOUCH IT."

    "That’s because your powers are temporarily out of service." The Boss sipped her coffee.

    "I’M READY TO GO BACK. I’M READY TO FACE MY MISTAKE AND PROTECT THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO NEED TO LIVE." Death said.

    "Oh, are you now?" The Boss smirked. "Well, I don’t think you are."

    Death stared at The Boss, who calmly sipped her coffee from her mug. "WHEN WILL I BE?"

    The Boss smiled and set her coffee mug down on the table. "When you finally admit that these aren’t just lives that need to continue living, but lives of people you care about."

    Death looked away quickly. "I... I DON’T KNOW HOW..."

    "I know," The Boss said. "That’s why you’re not ready to go back."

    >X<X>X<

    "Swerve Mrs. Bear! Swerve!" Kermit told the bear while cradling Robin.

    "I am swervin’! I’ve been swervin’!" Mrs. Bear changed lanes quickly.

    "How did they find us Kermie?" Piggy asked her frog prince.

    "And what do they want?" Fozzie fiddled with his hat in his hands. "We gave them all our keys!"

    "They’re pirates, they don’t need a reason!" Rizzo said.

    "Si, or a shower every day, hokay?" Pepe said.

    "Ain’t that the truth!" Bobo agreed.

    "What are we gonna do?" Bean asked.

    "We can’t out run ‘em forever, Kermit," Rowlf said calmly.

    Kermit nodded. "We won’t have to."

    "What’s the plan green man?" Floyd asked.

    "Yeah, yeah, what’s the plan boss?" Clyde asked. "Lemme at ‘em! Lemme at ‘em!!"

    "Down boy," Butch pushed Clyde down by his head. "Sit, stay."

    "PI-RATES! PI-RATES!" Animal chanted.

    "I thought we were with the frog captain!" Zoot said drowsily.

    "And I think I should do my boomerang fish!" Lew Zealand cried.

    "How will that help anything?" Sam asked.

    "Boomerang fish help everything!" Lew said.

    "You know what they say, when in doubt, throw a boomerang fish!" Hilda said.

    "Who says that?" Butch asked.

    "You did once," Clyde said.

    "I did not!"

    "You did to!"

    "Guys, if I may remind you," Kermit said. "We’re being chased by vicious motorcycle riding pirates!!"

    "Oh yeah," Butch said. "Nice one Clyde." He bonked his cohort on the head.
    "What’s it looking like Sweetums?" Kermit asked.

    Sweetums turned and looked out the hole in the back of the bus where the door used to be at the pirates. "They’re tryin’ to get our attention," the monster said.

    Kermit looked from Rowlf, to Fozzie, to Piggy, to Robin. "Well... What should we do?"

    "The hokey pokey!" Fozzie shouted. "Because that’s what it’s all about! Ahhh! Wocka! Wocka!"

    Kermit scrunched up his face. "Now probably isn’t the best time Fozzie."
    "Sorry..."

    "Hey! Kermit!" Sal shouted. "There’s a horse runnin’ up alongside the motorcycles!"

    "Oh no..." Kermit moaned. "Not you too!"

    "I’m serious! Look! Gonzo’s riding it!" Sal pointed out the window.

    All of the Muppets gathered up next to the windows. All of them squeezed in, all but Rizzo.

    "Hey! Hey!" Rizzo shouted, jumping up for a better look. "None of you believed it when it was my horse!"

    Surely enough, outside the bus running alongside the motorcycles was Gonzo atop a galloping steed.

    "Hi guys!" Gonzo shouted.

    "Bawk brawk bagawk!" Camilla clucked happily.

    "Hey!" Polly shouted up at Gonzo on the horse. "Tell those dang Muppets to pull over! We’re runnin’ outta gas here!"

    "Certainly!" Gonzo nodded. "Alright Phillip, pull up alongside the bus, if you would."

    The horse looked up at Gonzo. "Yessir!" the horse said, trotting up alongside the window where Kermit and Miss Piggy were peering out at him.

    "It’s great to see you again Gonzo!" Kermit grinned.

    "Meh..." Piggy shrugged.

    "It’s great to see you guys too!" Gonzo shouted. "You’ll never believe the adventure I’ve had!"

    "We wanna hear all about it," Kermit said. "We’ll just pull over and get you back on the bus."

    "But what about the pirates, Uncle Kermit?" Robin asked.

    Kermit looked at Gonzo, happily riding the horse, actually, by now he was balancing on the horse with one foot.

    "We’ll be okay." Kermit pulled back into the bus. "Mrs. Bear, we’re gonna need to pull over again."

    "Yer lucky I’m not charging you lizard!" Mrs. Bear shouted.

    Kermit frowned. "Tell me about it, our entire budget is already being blown by this vacation."
  3. The Count Moderator

    Did somebody say "blown"??? *A loud bang of dynamite can be heard, while cackling accentuates the smell of smoke.

    Ooh... A new chapter! And just what I needed too!
    Well, looks like the Muppets are back together again... With the pirates wantin' their attention, think they have something to say? And Phillip the Horse? Meh, why not.
    Loved the conversation between Death and the Boss, though she rully does need to start watching better programs on that TV of hers...
    And the best part, though the scariest, is Benny's back at the theater after reaping his first kill knowing full well Deadly's in the theater also. Exciting stuff, please post more!
  4. The Count Moderator

    Did somebody say "blown"??? *A loud bang of dynamite can be heard, while cackling accentuates the smell of smoke.

    Ooh... A new chapter! And just what I needed too!
    Well, looks like the Muppets are back together again... With the pirates wantin' their attention, think they have something to say? And Phillip the Horse? Meh, why not.
    Loved the conversation between Death and the Boss, though sh rully does need to start watching bette programs on that TV of hers...
    And the best part, though th scariest, is Benny's ack at the theater after reaping his first kill knowing full well Deadly's in the theater also. Exciting stuff, please pos more!
  5. redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Wow, Ed was so excited he posted twice!

    Anyway, yea for the update Prawnie! So much action going on in this one too! It's real edge of your seat kind of action and I love it! I really like Philip the horse, I'm assuming it's a nod to our mod. Hey, that rhymed! I also liked the line about Spongebob when Death is talking to The Boss. Very funny.

    Great as usual Mr. Prawn! Must see more now! :)
  6. The Count Moderator

    Actually... That was a bit of an error, was trying to fix some typos in the first postand it got posted twice as a ouble post. Oh well... Prawn, if you're out there breathing... Post More!!!
  7. Leyla Member

    YAY! More trippyness! So what did I like? Well, I liked the call back to Daniel's "I don't joke, I've been told I'm not funny" line. Works really really well in this context.

    Let's see... also YIKES! Benny's back! Terror!

    The spongebob/clam wedding episode... absolutely hysterical, and again, a nice call back to the boss's lines. Like that.

    Coooooool line!

    Hmm, quite an interesting little peek into their dynamics there... fascinating.

    Love them all turning to Kermit for a plan during the crisis... AKA pirate chase.

    <is very amused>

    <is STILL very amused>

    And just the idea of Gonzo appearing out of nowhere riding a horse... yeah, that's REALLY funny.

    Try not to be TOO enthusiastic there, PIggy darling.

    I can believe that.

    Come now Kermit... you HAD to know that was coming! Awesome job, Prawnie!
  8. TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    All right, Prawnie, my dear other half, fiance, husband, brother, etc... The fact is, you all ready know what I think about a lot of this... But there's something here that I decided first thing when I read the chapter this morning, I HAD to comment on.

    HORSIE! Oh I love horses! And I love that the horse keeps popping up, and I love that it's running by the motorcycles!

    And I LOVE that reaction! Because of course, up until now, Rizzo has been the only one to see a horse, and you have to admit that a horse on a highway IS awfully strange...

    Gonzo's riding the horse? Oh. Well then it's not THAT strange... I mean... It's Gonzo.

    Why not Rizzo? He's nice and small; he should fit...

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
    I must say, Prawnie dear, that made my morning. And my morning was awful hard to make today, because I got to stand at the bus stop in 0 degree weather this morning... (That's -18 degrees for those of you who are more familiar with Celsius.)

    MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!
  9. theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 31

    The Electric Mayhem bus was once again pulled off on the side of the highway with a pack of motorcycles behind them. The only thing different about this time was a horse and a weirdo riding said horse.

    "Where’d ya get the pretty pony?" Clueless asked Gonzo.

    "Actually, he got me!" Gonzo told the goat.

    "Ohhh, I see." Clueless nodded. "And how much did you cost?"

    "Quit fraternizin’, dumby," Polly told the goat.

    "But Polly, I can’t fraternize, I didn’t even go to college," Clueless blinked.

    Kermit, Rizzo, and Beaker stepped off the bus. The three of them walked over to the pirates as Gonzo hopped off the horse, landing on Beaker, pushing his head down in his head.

    Gonzo stood up and dusted himself off. "Whoops, sorry," he began dusting Beaker off as well.

    Rizzo punched Beaker’s chest, popping his head back out. "Welcome back bud," the rat told his best friend the whatever.

    "Thanks Rizzo. Oh, and Rizzo, this is Phillip." Gonzo motioned to the horse.

    "It’s a pleasure," the horse nodded at Rizzo.

    "Oh, oh yeah?!" Rizzo yelled. "You think it’s a pleasure makin’ me look like a complete idiot in front of everybody ‘cause you always run away whenever I see ya?!"

    "Sorry about that," Phillip said. "But we horses have very overactive bladders."

    "Whatevah..." Rizzo muttered.

    "Yes?" Gonzo asked.

    "Not you!" Rizzo shouted.

    "Mee mo mo mee me me?" Beaker asked.

    Gonzo and Rizzo looked at each other. "Sure," they both nodded.

    Kermit shook his head and went again to face Polly. "Polly, what’s the matter with you? You gotta be crazy chasing me halfway across the country!"

    Polly leaned over to Kermit. "Right context, wrong movie," he whispered.

    Kermit scrunched up his face. "What do you want with us now?"

    "Well, actually, Mr. the Frog, sir, we were hoping for... Erm... Jobs," Polly said.

    "Jobs?" Rizzo asked.

    Polly nodded. "Yeah, Benny fired us! He just took the keys, then disappeared into thin air!"

    "The air was actually kinda think," Clueless pointed out.

    "Quiet!" Polly shouted. "So whadaya say Kermit?"

    Kermit tilted his head. "Uh... Give me a minute to talk things over with the others. While you wait, talk to our negotiations expert." Kermit stepped back and pushed Beaker in front of Polly.

    "Mee mo," Beaker waved.

    Polly lowered his eyelids. "Oh brother..."

    Kermit huddled up with Rizzo and Gonzo. "Okay guys, we’ve got a whole mess of sleezy pirates wanting a job."

    "I don’t see the problem here," Gonzo said.

    "They could kill us!" Rizzo shouted.

    "Again, don’t see the problem."

    Kermit frowned. "Maybe you guys aren’t the best ones to ask."

    "Heh, maybe you should ask Phillip, the horse who’s a wise a-" Rizzo started.

    "Good idea, Rizzo," Kermit cut the rat off, glaring at him. "What do you think, Phil?" Kermit asked.

    "Me?" the horse doubled back. "Why me?"

    "Because no one else here can make an educated decision," Kermit said.

    "Go figure," Gonzo smiled.

    "Oh," Phillip nodded. "Uh, could you repeat the question?"

    "Should we give a buncha no-good, cut-throat, down-right mean pirates a job workin’ for us at our theater?" Rizzo asked.

    "I don’t see why not," Phillip said. "They’ve got good credentials."

    Kermit frowned. "I can’t believe I’m taking advice from a horse..."

    "You can’t be serious!" Rizzo shouted.

    "I’ve been told that for fifty plus years," Kermit smirked. "Polly," he turned to the lobster, who was mid-argument with Beaker. "Welcome to the family."

    "Yay!" Polly grinned. "Here that fellas? We’re part of the family!"

    The pirates cheered wildly and ran to hug Kermit, Rizzo, Gonzo, and Beaker.

    "Does that mean we get to come over for Christmas?" Clueless asked.

    "Uh, I suppose," Kermit said as Angel Marie squeezed him into a bear hug.

    "Mee mee mo!" Beaker shouted as Old Tom hugged him.

    "Whoo!" Gonzo shouted. "What friendly people!"

    "Good grief..." Kermit sighed. "Thanks Phillip..."

    "No problem greeny, no problem."

    <X>X<X>

    Don’t move. Uncle Deadly thought to himself. He’ll sense your movement.
    Benny walked down the aisle in between the red seats, throwing J.P.’s body into a random seat about halfway down the aisle.

    Skeeter nearly jumped from her hide-out beneath the seats, but Scooter restrained her.

    Daniel and Clifford peered over the balcony at the gray man walking with the scythe.

    "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Benny called.

    Uncle Deadly tightened his grip around the stage curtains as Benny neared the stage. Deadly’s breath caught in his chest, his body heat increased drastically, he knew that a battle was waiting to ensue. He just hoped he could hold Benny off long enough for Death to return.

    Benny jumped over the band pit and landed hard on the stage. Deadly dug his nails farther into the curtain concealing him.

    Benny’s head jerked towards Deadly’s hiding spot. He flashed his pointy yellow teeth. "Olley olley oxen free!" Benny shouted, firing a blast from the end of the scythe, hitting Deadly square in the chest and tearing down the other set of curtains.

    The blast sent Deadly flying backstage, colliding with a hat rack. Deadly stood up slowly and propped the hat rack back up. "Sorry sir, don’t write me out of the show again," Uncle Deadly whispered. The phantom growled, shooting himself back on stage, squaring off with Benny. "Let’s go."

    Benny sneered. "‘Bout time!" he sliced down at Deadly with the scythe.

    Uncle Deadly dodged quickly, jumping into the air. The specter hurled down a ball of lightning from his hands down at Benny, knocking him square in the chest.

    "Go Uncle D.! Go!" Skeeter shouted from the seats.

    Benny hissed. "You brought back up I see," the gray man regained his balance. Skeeter shirked back into the seat quietly. "That, my dear Deadly, was a mistake you won’t live to regret." Benny aimed the scythe toward the twins. "And neither will they!"

    "NO!" Deadly cried. The phantom jumped at Benny, tackling him onto the floor, misfiring the scythe’s blast, taking out a large chunk of the seats.

    Benny pushed Deadly off of him with the scythe and aimed the blade at Deadly’s neck. "You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do this," the gray man sneered.

    "You’ll have to keep waiting!" Clifford shouted, jumping from the balcony.

    Benny stared at the co-host. "How many stooges did you bring along Deadly?"

    "Four!" Daniel shouted, attempting to jump from the balcony, but falling on his face.

    Benny snickered. "Oh, I’m really frightened. Two twins, a catfish face, and an ice cream man from ‘Hello Dolly’."

    "And a fiendish phantom!" Deadly kicked up from the floor, hitting Benny is his chest. "This ends tonight." Deadly stood over Benny’s body. "No matter what the outcome."

    Benny Vandergast’s eyes changed to blood red as he hissed at Uncle Deadly. "I wouldn’t have it any other way!"

    He jumped up and the fight continued.
  10. TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    <gulp> Oy vey...

    <faints>

    Vim: I'm sorry, Toga isn't here right now. Please leave a message after the beep, and she'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!
  11. The Count Moderator

    Uh... Shouldn't that be "Leave a message at the toe of the "squeee""?

    Oy vey indeed. There are ome great one-liners amongst the conversation between Kermit and te pirates. But the fight scene is the best thing and I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for more to get posted. Come on Death, isn't that stupid Spongebob marathon over? As if spongy britches could last five seconds in a fight with a real sailoran with a corn cob pipe.
  12. theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 32

    Death paced the grassy field of the boss’s office. The archangel paced the ground around the coffee table.

    "If you wear a rut in my Kentucky blue grass, you will pay," said The Boss, with a snarky overtone to her voice.

    Death stopped and looked to his employer. "WHEN?"

    "When what?" The Boss asked.

    "WHEN WILL I BE READY TO ADMIT THAT I CARE FOR THEM?" Death asked softly.

    The Boss sipped from her coffee cup slowly, pondering the question. She closed her eyes and smiled at Death. "You just asked when you’ll be ready to admit it... Which means..." she paused, leading him onto the next line.

    Death looked up above him. "WHICH MEANS I ALREADY KNOW IT INSIDE. I JUST DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT."

    "Hey! Don’t finish my sentences!" said The Boss with a heavenly smirk.

    Death grinned on the inside. "YOU KNOW..." he said, still gazing at the space above him. "I THINK A CHANDELIER WOULD LOOK LOVELY IN HERE."

    The Boss looked up at her plain tiled ceiling. "Can’t, union thing, ya know?"

    "TRUST ME, I KNOW. DID YOU KNOW WE DON’T EVEN GET DENTAL UP HERE?" Death asked.

    "Yes, I know that, I established that. Tooth Fairy got to obsessive about it."

    "FIGURES..."

    <X>X<X>


    Benny swung the scythe in Deadly’s direction, the phantom dodged and hopped backwards. "Stay out of this Clifford!" he shouted to the co-host.

    "Not today, dude," Clifford jumped on stage. He ran towards Benny with no real plan in mind.

    Uncle Deadly sneered. "Stop it!" Deadly dove towards Benny as he moved Clifford’s way. "You’ll get killed!"

    "Not exactly," Daniel interjected. "With Death currently out of a job, everyone on Earth is technically immortal."

    Everyone inside the theater turned and stared at Daniel. "Carry on..." Daniel whispered.

    The squabble continued, and if any other Muppets were there, or not in dire peril, one of them would’ve made a joke about the word squabble. But, considering all of the Muppets within the theater were in dire peril as of this moment, no one made a squabble joke.

    However, they did all continue to squabble.

    Squabble, squabble.

    >X<X>X<


    The bus carefully drove down the dimly lit road. Kermit clenched his sleeping nephew's chest, just as he had ever since he'd been rescued.

    Kermit looked the pitch black bus up and down, from Butch trying not to doze off in the driver's seat to Sweetums completely dozed out in the very back.
    His Saturn-shaped eyes stopped on the one thing that had always been able to stop them, no matter what situation.

    Miss Piggy's dainty violet eye lids were carefully closed over her ever-so-diva eyes. Her rosey cheeks moved gently up and down as she breathed in her sleep.

    Kermit smiled and reached his spindly arm out to caress her cheek or brush it through her hair, he hadn't decided yet. As he drew dangerously close his porcine princess let out a loud snore through her snout. Kermit darted his hand back in shock or awe, he hadn't decided yet.

    His scrunched up face was instantly drawn back into a shocking grimace as Piggy's eyes shot open and she shouted: "Gotcha!"

    "Piggy," Kermit whispered. "What are you doing up?!"

    "Doing research short, green, and lovesick as a teenage boy," the swine swooned.

    Kermit frowned more than he already was. "Researching what?" he asked carefully.

    "Why vous Kermie, what else could capture moi's attention so valiantly?" she batted her eyelashes.

    "I could think of about half-a dozen chocolate cakes that could..." Kermit muttered.

    "You wanna say something say it to my face googly eyes!" Piggy growled.

    Kermit gulped. "Oh, um, alright, Miss Piggy, your face looks ravishing in this glorious moonlight."

    Piggy knew how to play this game, and she was tres good at it too. "Oh, it does, does it?"

    Kermit scratched his head with his hand not already occupied by his nephew's little body. "Of course it does," the frog said. "I'd say more but I have Robin underneath me, see and-"

    Oh Kermie, mon cher," Piggy brushed the top of his head. "Do not tell me about Robin's darling little body, tell me about MOI'S darling little body."

    "But Miss Piggy, I would never lie to you!"

    "SAY WHAT?!"

    "I mean-um, well you see..." Kermit scrunched up his face again. "I don't really know where I'm going with this..."

    Piggy tossed her golden locks to the other side of her head and smirked at the frog. "I do," she grinned.

    "Sheesh," Kermit scrunched up his face. "Piggy, Robin!"

    "Vous know just as well as moi that sweet little Robin knows just as much, if not more, about this relationship than vous," Piggy said sweetly.

    Kermit sat his nephew gently underneath the bus window. He checked his nephew's stability, smirked and turned to Miss Piggy. He rested his green elbows on his green knees and turned green when he looked up at Piggy's face right in front of his.

    Or course, he was always green. "Hi Piggy," he gulped.

    "Hi Keeeermie," she grasped his hands right out of his grasp. How Kermit could lose grasp of his own hands was still very unbeknownst to the poor frog.

    "You know mon capitan," she swooned. "There's something tres, tres romantic about a dark bus in the middle of the night. Wouldn't you agree, mon cher?"

    "Well it depends on the bus," Kermit smirked, taking the ball back into his court.

    "What could be more romantic than this, the bus where it all began. The bus where vous whispered to moi the words that set moi's heart forever ablaze."

    "And what words would those be Piggy?" Kermit asked.

    "Motorcycle cop," she said blankly.

    Kermit frowned. "For the last time Piggy, 'motorcycle cop' is not a sweet nothing!"

    Say what you will," Piggy pulled Kermit's hands towards her chest. "But I know that they were words of passion!"

    "Here we go," Kermit tried rolling his eyes, but realized that it was beyond his limits, as was letting the pig win this one.

    Piggy planted one right on Kermit's cheek. "Yes Kermit my love, here we go!"

    "But Piggy we wouldn't want to wake the rest of the-" Kermit's mouth was closed over in a pucker of piggy passion.

    When Kermit was freed from his sufficient suffocation he scrunched up his face. "Now Piggy don't hold back," he said sarcastically.

    "Oh Kermie, I'd never hold anything back from vous," Piggy grinned.

    "Well than could you quit holding back my hands?" Kermit asked.

    "Oh Kermit, we will forever be bonded by our hands," Piggy said sweetly.

    "Well we'll be bonded by hands, not necessarily ours, but hands nonetheless..." Kermit said.

    "How many walls are gonna break in these stories frog?" Piggy asked.

    Piggy's lips hit him square on his lips. Kermit resisted for nearly half a second then decided it was futile effort and kissed right back.

    "Hey you two lovebirds!" Butch shouted from the driver's seat. "Don't rock the bus!"

    "Rock the bus?" Floyd shouted from the back. "Sounds like a song to me! Heh heh! Hit it Dr. Teeth!"

    As the band began to wail into the night all of the other Muppets on the bus sat up and started laughing their heads off. Including Robin.

    "They were all awake...The entire time..." Kermit said in shock.

    Piggy flipped her hair again. "I know," she patted her frog on the head.

    "This was all just so you could..."

    "Show them how much vous really do care about moi," she kissed him on the head.

    Kermit's face had never scrunched up more than this. "Nice timing Butch!" he shouted up the bus. "A little late, but that's forgivable."

    "Good night Kermie," Piggy waved the frog away as he returned to his seat next to Robin.

    "How much did you see?" Kermit asked his nephew.

    Robin shrugged. "No more than usual."
  13. TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    LOVE the tooth fairy line!

    And SQUABBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    SQUABBLE SQUABBLE SQUABBLE SQUABBLE SQUABBLE I SO TOTALLY GLOMP YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And do you have ANY idea how long I've been waiting for that ushy gushy?

    ...Oh. You do.

    ...I knew that.

    ...MORE PLEASE!
  14. The Count Moderator

    ------------
    Good chapter... Would've liked some more action at the theater... Liked Death's comments. Would say more, but I think there's a chorus of plantiff boos coming from the graveyard to tend to... Restful peace and allthat you know.
  15. Leyla Member

    Oooooooooooh! Great chapter Prawnie, filled with those fun, clever lines and the occasional amusing reference as always.

    Loved Daniel in this... you've really got his character down, and good on Clifford for not taking this lying down.... <cough> You know, cause he almost died and all... nevermind!

    Loved the collective ushy gushy prank on Kermit, and Robin's line there at the end.

    Very interested to see where you go with this Prawnie!
  16. Beauregard Well-Known Member

    Yes, I am four chapters behind. Do I have a good excuse? No. Can i make up for it? Maybe...

    Ok, I'm already laughing and we're one setence in. There is something so incredibally funny about Bobo and a tuba. On the other hand, Bean with caffene? Ouch. I can only imagine, though I'd rather not.

    *laughs again* Ok, I had assumed it would be like 7 or 8 or something. Nice pacing to hide the time till now. Yeah, I know it's only three sentences. BUT! They are well paced sentences!

    Pepe and Rizzo are a fabulous team. I can't believe I ever hated that Prawn.

    *falls off chair* So THAT'S where the line comes from!

    *giggles* Nice use of comparason. Arm physically/little finger mentally.

    The R Team!

    Nothing like a little muuusic!

    *dies from cute-dom*

    Why can I totally see Pepe raising an eyebrow, hokay?

    Not so cute second time round. *hits Bean with a hammer*

    *melts into Beau-hugging goo*

    Lyan? Are you in there?

    I BET she did!

    There are some very simple lines in the Muppets, but they carry such wisdom...

    Nice aliterations, hokay.

    HA! I so knew that was about to happen! I am none-the-less pleased that it did though!

    *giggles*

    Well...I thought it was. A morbid joke, but a joke.

    Aww...I love the relationship between those two...

    Gosh I HATE that man and his entrances!

    *shivers and screams*

    *stares*

    How did I know it would be an argument about something trivial?

    *hugs Death* *is hat weird?*

    You know how I used to hate Death? Well, I don't. Not at all.
    I don't know why that line is hilarious, but it is.

    Mmm! Princey!

    Nice...

    *giggles*

    But you do it tres well, Pawnie.

    *stares*

    Chapman?

    *taps feet*

    *laughs* Oh de Pollys, Oh de Cluelesses.

    So natural and nice.

    *falls off chair in sudden giggles*

    Where did I ehar that before?

    Oh there.

    As are you.

    *blink* Ahahaha! *blink*
    I love when he lowers his eyelids. And, hey, he's already talking like a Muppet!

    haha! Nice!

    *giggles again*

    That man gives me the heeby jeebies.

    *serious lung thing*

    I HATE HIM!!!!

    *runs away sfcreaming*

    *crawls back to read more*

    GO CLIFF!

    I need a huuug...

    Chapter 32

    Do you realise how odd/poetic that should sound?

    Heavenly smirk. Nice disctiption.

    I love the way The Boss talks. Really natural.

    I love how you call Clifford "The co-host." It's cute.

    HA!!!!!!

    *stares* *laughs* *stares*

    ...*giggles*...

    This is brillient. It sets the slower pace quickly in one short sentence.

    First off, Saturn, I always LOVED that discription of his eyes. Second off, eeeee!

    BREATHING!

    I can't possible imagine.

    Nice nice nice!

    I believe her too.

    *melts*

    *falls off chair*

    Nice er...alliteration...

    There is SO much understanding there.

    *hugs for prawnie* Great great story.
  17. The Count Moderator

    Hey Prawn... If you can get your bony butt in here and post an update... Uh, yeah. Up-date! Up-date! Meep meep mo mory? Mo Mory! Meep? Yah yah der sturee needa nuddah chepter. And make it a good one this time, or you know who will shoot some sparks into your life, and they're not the good kind.
  18. theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 33

    Scooter grasped Skeeter’s hand and pulled her away from a blast from the scythe. "Hey! Keep that thing away from my sister!"

    "Why’s it matter?" Benny sneered. "None of us can die anyway!"

    "Some of us are already dead, thank you," Deadly punched Benny in the chest.

    "Yeah, and some of us should be dead," Daniel pointed out, purposely moving away from the fight.

    "Good point!" Benny shot a blast at Daniel.

    Daniel squealed and jumped out of the way. Skeeter rolled her eyes behind her spectacles. "Aren’t you supposed to be helping us?" she asked.

    "Fighting isn’t really my, erm, specialty," he fiddled with his own glasses.

    "It shows!" Clifford managed to knock into Benny’s back. "You couldn’t beat an egg!"

    Benny shoved Clifford off of him, knocking the dread-locked Muppet on his back. "Which reminds me," Benny sliced down at Clifford. "I forgot to eat this morning."

    Deadly dove at Clifford, pushing him out of the way, narrowly missing getting sliced by the scythe himself. "Shame really," Deadly whipped his tail at Benny’s feet. "You need your strength!"

    Benny jumped over the tail whip. "You don’t know the half of it," Benny focused his attention on the twins. "Teleporting from place to place really takes it out of you."

    "I bet it would," Scooter said, protecting his sister. "Doesn’t it weigh down on your wrinkle level?"

    Benny threw Scooter out of the way. "When you look like me, your wrinkle level is already high enough you don’t bother counting."

    "Understandable," Skeeter rolled to her brother’s side. "Have you tried anti-aging cream?"

    "Who hasn’t?" Benny brought the scythe down on the stage floor. "That stuff doesn’t really work."

    "Works for me," Uncle Deadly darted towards Benny. "My wrinkles are hardly noticeable."

    Benny dodged the phantom. "Psh, as if!" Benny jumped into the air, onto a rafter.

    Daniel sat down next to J.P.’s motionless body. "What organized chaos."

    Deadly hissed upwards. "Don’t tempt me, Vandergast!"

    "Bring it!" Benny waved on the onslaught.

    Uncle Deadly growled, firing a blast of lightning at the rafter, splitting it and sending it plummeting towards the stage.

    Clifford, Scooter, and Skeeter dove into the band pit. The sound of cracking wood split the air as dust filled it. Clifford coughed as he stood up to check the damage, both on the stage and his friend.

    Benny perched himself on another set of rafters above the seats. Peering down on the destruction he induced.

    As the dust cleared, beneath the pile of rubble was a clawed, blue hand. It slowly twitched from beneath the rafter.

    Daniel shot up from his seat with no desire to take a breath. Clifford watched slowly, no air leaving or entering his body.

    The hand opened into a palm, then fell silently to the stage floor.

    <X>X<X>


    "Alright everybody! It’s time to BEANERCIZE!" Bean shot up from his seat like a rocket, waking everyone within a five foot radius.

    Those Muppets outside said radius were thus promptly awoken by the horrid blowing on Bobo’s tuba.

    Including Polly and the pirates.

    "Augh!" Polly groaned. "What is that?" the lobster asked groggily, waking up on his motorcycle.

    "Sounds like my Aunt Marge after Thanksgiving," Angel Marie stated.

    Back inside the bus each and every Muppet groaned. Piggy slowly let herself up from her sleeping position in Kermit’s lap. "Good morning Kermie," she purred.

    "Good morning Piggy," Kermit frowned. "Or as good as it can be with that noise."

    Robin sighed as he hopped up from his sleep. "It’s gonna be a long day, isn’t it Uncle Kermit?"

    "Most likely Robin," Kermit smiled.

    "Man," Floyd groaned. "I refuse to let my delicate rock-legend ears be subject to this trash!"

    Sam Eagle pushed his way to the front of the bus. He stopped right in front of Kermit’s seat and stared down the frog. "Excuse me, Kermit," Sam bellowed.

    Kermit sighed. "What is it Sam?"

    "I have a distinct problem with the way things are being run around here." Sam puffed out his chest.

    "How is that different from any other day, Sam?" Kermit asked.

    "It is not," Sam insisted. "But I’ve never failed to get an answer out of you before, so why stop now?"

    "Good question." Kermit scrunched up his face. "What is your question anyway?"

    "Where are we going?" Sam asked blankly.

    "Yeah," Rizzo shouted. "Our entire plans have been messed up by dem pirates!"

    "And that horse," Gonzo pointed out.

    "Mr. Kermit, if I may," Bunsen interjected. "I think Muppet Labs may just have the perfect solution to-"

    "Mee mo! Mo mo mo!" Beaker shrieked.

    "Come now Beaker, I’m sure Muppet Labs’ new instant teleportation device couldn’t hurt that badly."

    "Mee me mo meep!"

    "See? Only four dismembered ligaments! Nothing serious!"

    Johnny leaned over to Sal. "Hey, Sal, you're the boneologist, can you dismember a ligament?"

    Sal shrugged. "If anyone could, it would be Bunsen."

    "Uncle Kermit?" Robin whispered to his uncle.

    Kermit looked down into his nephew’s innocent eyes. "Yes Robin?"

    "Can I say something?"

    "Sure, go right ahead."

    "I miss home," Robin smiled.

    Kermit smiled right back and put an arm around his nephew. "Me too Robin, me too." Kermit stood up in the aisle of the bus, telling Sam to take his seat so he could address the gang.

    Fozzie tapped the frog gently on his back. Kermit turned to face his best friend. "Yes, Fozzie, what is it?"

    "Want me to open with a joke?" Fozzie asked.

    "No, of course not."

    "Wha?" Fozzie asked pitifully.

    "That is to say, no, of course not, because I don’t want you wasting your good material!" Kermit recovered.

    "Ahh!" Fozzie pointed at him. "Good point!"

    Kermit shook his head and returned to addressing the mass of Muppety mayhem that lay before him. "Alright gang," he said loudly. "We’re headed home!"

    "Ya hear that, Polly?" Sweetums called out the back of the bus. "We’re headed home!"

    "Well, you know what they say." Clueless laughed. "When at home, do as the home-ans do."

    "Could someone please run this oaf over?" Polly moaned.

    >X<X>X<


    "I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN..." Death sighed.

    "You don’t have a choice." The Boss handed him a pen.

    "BUT... THINK ABOUT WHAT SIGNING THIS MEANS."

    "To your friends it means being saved," said The Boss.

    "AND TO ME?"

    "To you it means a steady job with decent pay, and health insurance."

    "I’M NOT LIVING," Death said.

    "That’s never stopped an H.M.O. before."

    "GOOD POINT."

    "So?" The Boss pushed the paper towards Death.

    "A NEEDLE PULLING THREAD."

    "I think you’ll fit in with the Muppets as your friends just fine," The Boss said, smiling.

    "AS DO I." Death reached for a golden feather quill. "AND WHAT A GREAT BUNCH OF FRIENDS TO HAVE." Death scribbled out his signature on the dotted line of the contract.

    The paper shot into the air and rolled itself into thin air, disappearing in a flash. The Boss smirked the smirk that she was famous for. "Are you ready then?"

    "INDEED."

    "Good," The Boss said. "Because they need you down there."
  19. TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    One- In the theater, as told by Prawntastico.

    Two- beating an egg.

    Three- wrinkles.

    Four- the torment line that I am STILL shaking from, thank you very much!

    Five- In the theater, as told by The Biggest Prawn There Is

    Six- Beanercize!

    Seven- Pig in frog's lap.

    Eight- Where ARE they going?

    Nine- Random ramblings of Muppetdom.

    Ten- Wasting good material.

    Eleven- Going home!

    Twelve- In the Boss's office, as told by My Other Half.

    Thirteen- Steady job with decent pay and health insurance, even though he's not living.

    Fourteen- Never stopped an H.M.O. before.

    Fifteen- A needle pulling thread.

    Sixteen- Smirked the smirk she was famous for.

    Seventeen- Indeed.

    Eighteen- MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ABSOLUTELY FANTASTICABULOUS chapter, my dear Prawn! Looking forward to more! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS Extraordinaire!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
  20. Beauregard Well-Known Member

    WRINKLE! DEADLY! BEANKERCIZE! TUBA! AUNT MARGE! GOING HOME! DEATH! CONTRACT! DOWN THERE! EEEEEEEEE!

    *ahem hem*

    More please.

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